The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
| REACHING OUT BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 10 |
PREVIOUSLY:
[Todd lowers his gaze, hurt by her words, even though he knows that she didn't say them trying to hurt him.
Tea realizes that he's hurt but doesn't know what to say to stop his hurt. Everything feels so sudden to her. She's not certain of anything right now, except that she needs sleep and, despite the help of medication, still doesn't feel ready to give into sleep yet.]
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chapter 10:
[Several minutes later...]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: Shouldn't you be asleep by now?
Tea: I don't think it will be happening soon. Maybe we should play cards for a while.
Todd: Are you sure? I don't want some old lady coming in here and yelling at me in a language I don't understand because I kept you awake.
Tea: Would you prefer to be yelled at in English?
Todd: Good point. That's one of the things about Puerto Rico, I like.
Tea: What else do you like?
Todd: I think I saw a celebrity earlier.
Tea: Who?
Todd: That guy that Starr likes. I think he had a song about shaking his pom-poms, or something.
[Tea laughs. Todd watches her face in the dim light of her room. He knows that she's exhausted but he understands how difficult it can be to sleep sometimes, even when you're exhausted and, for anyone else, sleep would come easily, but for you it doesn't.
Todd lets go of her hand and moves the cart towards Tea's bed again. He rips into the plastic covering the deck of playing cards with his teeth until he's able to tear the plastic and remove it completely.]
Todd: So, what are we wagering?
Tea: I'm sure you have some interesting ideas.
Todd: Well, I don't need your money...
Tea: I don't need yours, either.
Todd: This place is probably expensive, right? Okay, we'll play for money and I'll let you win.
Tea: No, we won't. And, you will lose, but not because you're letting me win. You will lose because I am a better poker player than you are.
Todd: But, we're playing blackjack.
Tea: I could play solitaire.
Todd: I'm good at solitaire.
Tea: You cheat when you play solitaire.
Todd: But, I always win, don't I?
Tea: It doesn't count, when you cheat.
Todd: Sure, it does. There's no point playing by the rules when no one's looking, anyway.
Tea: I'd have an unfair advantage over you if we played hearts.
Todd: Is that your sneaky way of trying to tell me that you're still madly in love with me?
[Todd instantly knows that he shouldn't have said that as Tea looks away.
Todd sets the cards on the cart and moves it out of the way.]
Todd: Forget the cards. Look, Tea, I know I stink at words, but...
[Tea quickly looks back at him and speaks before he has an opportunity to finish his sentence.]
Tea: No. I don't want to talk.
Todd: You don't want to talk?
[Todd reaches his hand out and places it on her forehead.]
Tea: What are you doing?
Todd: I'm checking for a fever.
Tea: I don't have one.
Todd: There has to be some reason for your sudden aversion to talking.
Tea: Are you done checking me for a fever yet?
Todd: Not yet.
[Todd moves his hand with the back of his fingers lightly touching her forehead. As his hand moves down the side of her face, he turns his hand so that her cheek rests in the palm of his hand.
Tea closes her eyes, allowing herself a moment to luxuriate in his touch.]
Todd (whispering): You're so beautiful.
[Tea instantly opens her eyes and brings one of her hands up and removes his hand from her cheek.]
Tea: You should leave.
Todd: What? No. I'm holding your hand while you sleep, remember?
Tea: This was a mistake.
Todd: What was?
Tea: You coming here. I don't want you here. Go home.
Todd: I'm not leaving.
Tea: Yes, you are.
Todd: No.
Tea: This is my life. This is my room. I get to decide who visits me.
Todd: You decided I would be visiting you, when you called me.
Tea: You never got my messages. It's the same as if they had never existed. You lied about who you were to get in here.
Todd: I thought you didn't tell me about what happened to you because you were mad at me for some reason.
Tea: I have plenty of reasons to be mad at you.
Todd: But, you're not.
Tea: Yes, I am.
Todd: No, you're not. You just got spooked. That's okay. I get spooked all the time.
Tea: How much longer before you get so spooked you walk out that door and I never see you again?
Todd: That won't happen.
Tea: Try again. We have a history, remember? I know how fickle your commitments tend to be.
Todd: Fickle? What the hell kind of word is that? It doesn't sound very manly.
Tea: Fine. Get your ass out of my room! Is that manly enough for you?
Todd (confused by her mood swing): Tea...
Tea: I mean it, Todd. I don't want you here. I don't feel like playing anymore games with you.
Todd: I'm not playing any games. I'm actually trying to play this straight with you.
Tea: We both know that, with you, there are always games.
Todd: I mean it, Tea...
Tea: We also both know that you never mean what you say and you never say what you mean.
Todd: I'm trying. You know it isn't easy for me. But, I'll try.
Tea: It's not good enough. I deserve more than your mediocre attempts at trying. I need a man who isn't afraid to tell me how he feels, who won't push me away, who doesn't use me to hide from his feelings for someone else, or use me to make someone else jealous.
Todd: I'm not...
Tea: I know exactly why you're here. You thought that this would be easier than whatever was going on back in Llanview. You thought you could use my situation as an excuse to run from your feelings, to keep from making a commitment, yet again. And, maybe you have a little guilt left over from the way you treated me in the past and seeing me in that wheelchair actually squeezed a little sympathy out of that stone you have where anyone else's heart would be.
Todd: Why are you doing this?
Tea: Because I don't want you here. How much more clearly do I have to say it? Do you need me to use less syllables so you'll be able to understand what I'm telling you?
Todd: Did you get a head injury? Is this one of the symptoms? You tell off the people you...
Tea: The people I...what? The people I love? The people I love died. They died.
[Tea looks away, the pain and guilt she feels for the deaths of two people she cared about, added to the pain and guilt she feels for doing this to Todd, becoming too much for her.
Todd tries to hold her hand again but she quickly jerks it away.]
Todd: Just go to sleep, okay?
Tea: I don't want you to be here when I wake up.
Todd: You don't mean that.
[Tea turns her face and looks into his eyes again.]
Tea: I do mean that. I honestly do. I don't want you to be here.
[Todd takes a deep breath. He knows that she's telling the truth. She really does want him to leave. Todd leaves all of the things he had brought as he rushes out of her room, needing to get away, feeling like a fool for thinking that she could still care about him after everything they had been through together.
Tea closes her eyes and cries uncontrollably, her heart breaking, knowing that she just sent away the only man that she'll ever love and not fully understanding why she did it, except that her guilt won't allow her to feel worthy of love again, not that she has ever been very good at feeling worthy of that precious emotion in the past, either. Right now, though, she feels less worthy than she ever has before in her life.]
to be continued...
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