The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
| REACHING OUT BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 8 |
PREVIOUSLY:
Tea: You always wanted something else. I won't be your second choice again. Go back to Llanview and work things out with your first choice.
Todd: How can I, if she isn't there?
Tea: Where is she?
Todd: Right in front of me.
Tea: I meant Blair.
Todd: I meant you.
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chapter 8:
[Todd isn't prepared to address his emotions any further. He takes her hand firmly in his, wanting her to sleep so they don't have to talk anymore.]
Todd: Close your eyes and do that sleeping thing you do.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Tea, seriously, I need you to sleep right now. You need it, too.
Tea: I don't like closing my eyes.
Todd: Because of your nightmares?
Tea: It hurts when I wake up.
Todd: They have drugs for that, right? I'll make sure they give you all the best ones.
Tea: They don't have medication for what hurts me.
Todd: When you wake up, you can tell me exactly what we're dealing with here, with your injuries. I'll get you the best doctors, the best therapists...
Tea: I don't need you throwing your money around, Todd. I don't want you involving yourself in my recovery. I have fine doctors and therapists, I don't need you bringing anyone new in here. I don't need you taking care of my personal business in New York, either. Del has already made arrangements to pay the rent on our grandmother's apartment for a few months. After that, we'll decide what to do. That's we, as in, my brother and I, not you and I. Do you understand? This isn't about you, Todd. This is about me and what I want. I want you to leave. I want you to leave me alone. I want you to leave my grandmother's apartment alone. I want you to leave my personal possessions alone. If I didn't want my brother going to New York and packing up my underwear to send to me, I certainly don't want anyone else doing it, especially Mr. Briggs.
Todd: Fine. I'll buy you new underwear. I'll get a store to send over some stuff, whatever you need. Just tell me and it's done.
Tea: You're not listening. I don't want you trying to buy this away. You can't. My grandmother died. My...friend...died. As much money as you have, you don't have enough to change those facts, do you? Your money can't make me feel better. It can't take away the guilt that I feel, that I'll always feel. It just can't. So, stop trying.
Todd: All I'm trying to do here, Tea, is to hold your hand so you can sleep. That's all.
Tea: I don't want you to. I don't want you to be here at all.
Todd: Then, why did you call me? Did you call one of your brothers first? One of your friends? Co-workers? No. You called me. You wanted me to come and I'm here.
Tea: You have some ego, thinking I called you first.
Todd: Didn't you? Tell me that you didn't. Come on, Tea, tell me that I wasn't the first person you called.
Tea: Besides, if you had heard my messages, you would know that I didn't say in them that I wanted you to come. I didn't even tell you where I was.
Todd: So? You knew I'd know how to find you. And, I did. I didn't even get your messages, but I'm here. You were right to call me first. I came, just like you knew I would. No one else is here, but I am.
Tea: I didn't want anyone else here.
Todd: But, you wanted me, right? You got what you wanted. I'm here. I'm holding your hand. And, I'm never letting go.
Tea: I can't do this.
Todd: Can't do what?
Tea: I just can't. Can you understand that?
Todd: Why did you call me? If I mean nothing to you and you don't want me anywhere near you, why did you call me? And, why did you call me first?
Tea: I was confused. I had been through a traumatizing experience. I didn't know what I was doing. I was on heavy duty painkillers. Obviously, I wasn't thinking clearly at the time.
Todd: You were scared and you needed me. I'm here, Tea. I came, just like you wanted me to, just like you needed me to.
Tea: No.
Todd: Then, push that button. I'm only holding one of your hands, use the other one to push the button and have me thrown out. If you don't, I'm not leaving. I'm not letting go of your hand.
Tea: Todd, you're needed in LLanview.
Todd: I'm needed right here. Someone needs to sleep and she needs me to hold her hand so that she can fall asleep and feel safe and...
Tea: Did you feel safe? When I held your hand and you slept, did you feel safe?
Todd: Yes.
[Todd takes a deep breath, scared of how much truth he just revealed to her, and to himself, in a sense. He really has felt safe in her presence. He really has taken comfort from her. He had lost her from his life for a while but the reality that he almost lost her permanently breaks through his internal defenses and hits him hard.
Todd looks down, at her hand safely in his. He can't handle eye contact with her right now. Even physical contact is painful in this moment but he promised he wouldn't let go of her hand and he won't allow his own fears to cause him to break that promise.
As his grip tightens around her hand, Tea watches him. The time since the accident has been emotionally difficult for her. She's insisted on doing it alone. She sent Del away soon after he arrived. The few friends that she's spoken to, she insisted that they not come to see her. She didn't want their pity. But, he's right. She had wanted him to come. Her heart had been hoping that, despite everything, he would come to her, not to pity her, or to lavish his money upon her, but simply to be with her, because through an exceptional miracle he still cared for her as much as she still cared for him. Now, here he is, holding her hand, intending to hold her hand for as long as she needs him, and she's trying to push him away.
Tea leans her head back and closes her eyes. She's so scared of what she's feeling right now. She's faced her injuries and the possible long road to recovery with relative ease, compared to this. This is a greater struggle, filled with more pain than anything that plane crash put her through physically.
Neither speaks. Neither dares to. They both know that if words were spoken now, or eye contact made, one, or both, of them would fall apart. Their self-preservation won't allow it. So, Todd sits beside her bed, holding her hand as Tea closes her eyes, willing to allow sleep to come if it chooses to.]
to be continued...
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