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| ONE NIGHT IN A MOTEL ROOM BY TIMA |
PART 2 |
"Now get out!"
Tea was stunned. He had been so loving and now he looked bitter and angry.
"Leave now!"
Tea began to speak, "But, Todd..."
"Now!"
Tea slowly got up from the bed and walked toward the door. She stopped in front of the door and looked back at Todd. Their eyes met. She thought maybe his look had softened, maybe he had changed his mind but she couldn't tell for sure.
Todd walked back over to the bed, laid down and turned the light off. Minutes passed. There wasn't a sound in the room but he knew she was still there. He wondered what she was doing...why she was still there after what he had done to her. What was she thinking? What was she feeling?
Todd convinced himself that he wouldn't let Tea leave. He told himself that as soon as he heard her unlock the door he would tell her to stay. He would beg her to stay if he had to. He waited to hear the lock but there was no sound.
Tea had sat down on the floor and was leaning her back against the wall. She was confused by her feelings. She asked herself how she could so completely love and hate this man at the same time. Every time she had left him in the past, every time he threw her out, she had always come back. Why? Were the few minutes of happiness he gave her each month really worth the weeks of frustration, loneliness and humiliation?
Tea tried to control herself. She tried to stop it but the power of her emotions was too strong...the tears started to fall.
Suddenly Todd heard a sound in the darkness he didn't want to hear...a sound that he hated. He could hear Tea softly sniffing on the other side of the room. He had made her cry, again. He hated it when she cried, even when they were tears of joy. But these tears he knew were not joyous. He had broken her heart. He didn't really mean to. He couldn't help it. He felt so much for her. While he was touching and kissing her he had felt his heart open up. It scared him how much power she had over him. How much she could make him feel. He felt like the only way he could survive was if he pushed her away.
Todd wanted to go to her, to put his arms around her, to tell her that he didn't mean it, that he didn't want her to go away but he couldn't. As he felt his own tears beginning to fall he turned onto his side and buried his head in a pillow. He didn't want her to know how much she affected him. He didn't want her to see how much pain he was in. He hoped that she would leave soon before she realized that he was crying too.
Tea tried to stop her tears. She hated crying but she seemed to be crying all the time lately. Her emotions were so jumbled and so extreme. She had spent so many nights, since Todd proposed to her, crying. She would lay alone in their bed, wishing that he would come home. Wishing that she could just feel him laying next to her. Now here they were, at night, in the same room but he wasn't lying next to her. He had touched her the way she had wanted him to, the way she had dreamt so many nights, but then he told her to get out - that wasn't how any of her fantasies ended.
The more Tea tried to stop the tears...the more she thought about what had happened with Todd minutes earlier in this room...the more she thought about what she wanted to have happen, the stronger her tears fell. Finally she gave up trying to control them. She stopped trying to control her heart and the feelings that were engulfing it. She let go of her emotions and they escaped her in deep gut-wrenching sobs.
Todd pushed his head even tighter into the pillow as he heard Tea sobbing. He had never heard her cry that way before. It hurt his heart to know that he had hurt her so deeply. He wanted to scream he was in so much pain.
After her sobs finally subsided Tea got up from where she was sitting and went into Todd's bathroom. There were no facial tissues so she pulled a large amount of toilet paper from the roll and wiped her face and blew her nose. She waited a few extra moments to make sure she was composed enough to go back into the other room with Todd. Just the thought of him made new tears threaten to fall.
Todd laid in bed, his face still hidden in the pillow. His tears had stopped when Tea's did but he was afraid that if he saw her form in the darkness or if he smelled her perfume in the air he would loose all composure. He listened for her to exit the bathroom - to leave the room. He heard her click the bathroom light off and waited to hear her unlock and open the door. Instead, he felt the other side of the bed move and then the room was silent again except for the sound of her breathing next to him.
When she didn't move or make a sound for several minutes Todd slowly moved the pillow away from his face. She was laying on her back with one arm extended toward him. Her hand was in the middle of the bed waiting for him to take hold of it. She was offering her hand to him so he could hold it like the first time they shared a bed when he had shared his nightmares with her and held her hand all night long. He couldn't believe that after everything he had put her through tonight...after everything he had put her through since their marriage began, she was offering to hold his hand. Was it because she knew that he slept better touching her? Did she know that he had barely slept in weeks? Did she know that he was crying...was she trying to comfort him? Or, did she need his comfort now?
Todd didn't know why she had gotten into bed next to him but he didn't want her to leave...ever. He continued laying on his side and cautiously extended his hand until it was touching Tea's hand.
Tea was so exhausted that she had started to fall asleep soon after she laid down but she was startled awake when she felt his hand clasp her hand. He squeezed gently and she tightened her hand around his. Soon they both fell asleep.
Todd woke a few hours later as the sun was starting to shine light into the room. He could feel her hand still encased in his. He opened his eyes and studied her. Her head was turned toward him and the evidence of her earlier crying was still evident on her face but she had such a peaceful expression, like she always did when she slept.
When Todd tried to remove his hand from Tea's she was hesitant to let it go. Even in her sleep she didn't want him to leave her. He gently removed his hand and left the bed.
When Tea awoke she knew instantly that he wasn't there. When she fell asleep hours earlier she knew that he probably wouldn't be there when she woke up so she wasn't surprised that she could no longer feel his hand. She was surprised, however, when she realized that the blankets from his side of the bed were now covering her. She wondered if this had been a loving gesture on his part or if it was because her shirt was still undone from when he had opened it the previous night.
Tea didn't want to open her eyes to reality so she stayed in bed and remembered how it had felt when he touched her and kissed her body. The memory was so strong she could practically still feel his fingers and those lips as they touched her skin. She had woken up many mornings remembering what it felt like when he touched her in the night but this morning was different because she wasn't remembering a dream, a fantasy, that only played in her mind. This was better...this was real.
Tea finally removed herself from the bed and headed toward the bathroom. On her way she looked into the adjoining bedroom and saw that it was empty - no Todd or Starr. Her heart lept for a moment when she saw that Starr's things were still there. She wondered if that meant that they were coming back or was Todd is such a hurry to leave that he left her things there thinking he'd buy what she needed later.
Tea drew Todd's shirt tightly around herself as she entered the bathroom. She didn't feel like turning on the bright light so she left the bathroom door open so the light from the bedroom window would be enough for her to see. She avoided looking in the mirror - she felt like a mess she didn't need to see it.
Moments later she was standing in the shower. The water beating down on her head made her feel like she could think better. As she stood there thinking about how different her life felt since she had married Todd, she decided that she was going to give to him what she had asked him to give to her - trust. She would trust that he was coming back to her. He knew how much she hated it when people left without saying good-bye. He wouldn't do that to her. He wouldn't. He promised that he wouldn't do that to her. She would wait here at this motel days, or weeks, if she had to but she knew that he would come back to her.
Tea shut off the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel. As she was putting Todd's shirt back on she looked toward the mirror and saw the most amazing sight. Propped up against the mirror was a note.
Even though they had been married almost a year she still had a hard time reading his handwriting but it looked like it said, "Delgado, be back, Todd."
Her heart felt like it was going to explode in her chest. Not only was he coming back but he had actually left her a note. She read it again as if it was the sweetest love poem ever written. She quickly finished buttoning the shirt and went back into the bedroom. She stopped suddenly when she saw Todd sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the floor.
His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like it hadn't been combed - she was never more attracted to him than in that moment. She took a deep breath to control herself from running and tackling him on the bed.
Todd spoke first, "Starr's in the other room watching that stupid show she likes so much. I had to get out of there. Those annoying songs always make me want to hurl the television against the wall."
Tea laughed, "I know what you mean. I've felt that way myself many mornings."
Tea walked over and sat next to Todd on the bed. He shoved two bags at her. "Coffee and a bagel. I hope that's okay."
"Where's yours?" she asked
"Starr and I already ate." he replied.
Tea opened the bag with the bagel in it and smiled at Todd, "Sun-dried tomato. My favorite."
Todd shifted uncomfortably, "Yeah...well, whatever."
Tea put the coffee down on the floor next to her feet and broke off a piece of bagel and ate it. She became uncomfortable as Todd stared at her while she ate.
"Are you still hungry? Do you want some of my bagel?" she offered.
Todd took the bagel from her and shoved more than half of what was left into his mouth and bit down. Tea couldn't help but laugh. Todd stopped chewing and handed Tea the remaining part of her bagel.
He explained, "I guess I'm still hungry."
Tea continued eating while she tentatively reached up and stroked the back of Todd's head. When her bagel was gone she reached her other hand over and began stroking Todd's chest through his shirt. She moved closer to him and began unbuttoning his shirt. She kissed his chest through his t-shirt as her hands continued their job of releasing each button. She was about to kiss his lips when Todd suddenly bolted off the bed and into the bathroom.
Tea couldn't believe that she had done such a stupid thing. She should have waited for him to make the first move but she couldn't resist with him sitting so close to her. When she heard the shower running she realized that Todd had left the bathroom door open the same way that she had earlier.
Tea was trying to form the words in her head to apologize to him when she heard his voice coming from the bathroom.
"Delgado."
It was spoken so soft and quiet Tea wasn't sure if she had actually heard him or if it was just her imagination. When she reached the doorway of the bathroom she saw that he wasn't in the shower, he was sitting on the floor with his back against the bathtub. His legs were drawn into his chest and his head rested on his knees.
Tea sat down next to him and felt his head press against her shoulder. She could feel his tears soak through her shirt. She reached her hand up and touched it to his face. She could feel his scar under her hand. She turned her head slightly and kissed him on the forehead and as she did he buried his head in the side of her neck.
As she felt his tears run down her skin Tea felt her own tears star to fall. She realized that Todd had given her what she wanted. He was sitting on the floor in the bathroom of a motel room crying with her. He trusted her enough to open his heart and show her his fear and his love.
THE END

