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| LAST CHANCE BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 111 - 120 |
PREVIOUSLY...
Carlotta: Are you certain he loves you?
Tea: Yes. I know it won't be easy. I don't want easy. I want Todd.
Carlotta: Then do what you feel you need to do.
Tea: Thank you.
[Tea hugs Carlotta.]
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
chapter 111:
[Tea contacts Bo and informs him that she won't press charges against Sykes if he can convince Sykes not to press charges against Todd. Bo assures her that Sykes will agree to the deal.
By the time Tea arrives at the police station, Sykes has already agreed and Todd has been released. Tea heads home hoping that she and Todd can finally have a proper reunion.
Tea arrives at the penthouse. As she's preparing to place her key in the lock she hears the sound of objects crashing. She instantly recognizes from past experience the sounds of Todd trashing the place. Tea takes a deep breath and prepares to go in.
As Tea cautiously opens the door she calls out to alert Todd of her presence before entering.]
Tea: Todd?
[Todd stops throwing things and stares in a panic at the door. Tea pushes the door open slowly until Todd is in her view, staring at her. They stare at each other until Tea breaks eye contact to close the door.]
Todd: Get out of here, Tea.
Tea (defiantly entering a little more): No.
Todd (yelling): Get the hell out of here!
Tea: No.
Todd: This isn't the time to get stubborn.
Tea: This is my home. I'm not going anywhere.
Todd: Fine! Then I'll leave.
[Tea stands in the doorway, blocking his exit.]
Todd: Get out of my way.
Tea: What's wrong?
Todd: You won't leave when I want you to, that's what's wrong.
Tea (reaching out to touch his face): You can tell me what's bothering you.
Todd (pushing her hand away and walking back into the living room): Don't touch me.
Tea: Did something happen while you were in jail?
[Todd picks up another object and smashes it against the fireplace.]
Tea: What happened?
[Todd looks around the living room. Every small object in the room, and a few larger ones, have already been smashed against the fireplace.
Without saying anything Tea goes into the kitchen and quickly returns with a stack of plates. She places them near Todd and steps back away.]
Tea: What happened?
[Todd picks up one of the plates and smashes it against the fireplace. He instantly picks up another plate and smashes that too. He then picks up another and another, throwing each at the fireplace. Tea goes back into the kitchen and returns with even more plates.]
Tea: We have plenty of plates and I have plenty of patience to wait until you tell me.
Todd: Just leave it alone, Tea.
Tea: It must have been something pretty bad for you to be like this.
Todd: I'm like this every time.
Tea: Every time?
[Todd gives up on breaking things, at least for now, and starts pacing instead.]
Todd: Every damn time. I just couldn't let it come out sometimes. Not here, anyway.
Tea: What do you mean?
Todd: I try to control it when Starr's here. She's not here now and you weren't here so I didn't have to control it. I couldn't control it.
Tea: What?
Todd: Just drop it, Tea. It doesn't matter.
Tea: Our living room is destroyed. I want to know why.
Todd: It's nothing.
[Tea approaches Todd and again tries to touch him. He again walks away from her.]
Todd: Don't.
Tea: Are you angry at me? Do you blame me for the night you spent in jail?
[Todd walks back to the stack of plates and smashes several more against the fireplace.]
Tea: What is it, Todd? You can tell me. You can trust me.
Todd (pacing again): Every time.
Tea (trying to speak in a soothing voice): What happens every time?
Todd: What do you think?
Tea: Is it being locked up? Being in a small space?
Todd: I can handle that stuff. I've had years of practice. I've also had years of practice with...
[Todd stops speaking for a moment]
Tea: What have you had practice with?
[Todd picks up another plate but doesn't throw it. He holds it tightly in his hands and stares at it for several moments before placing it on top of the pile of other plates.]
Tea (stepping closer to him): You can trust me, Todd. I swear, you can. I won't leave no matter what it is.
chapter 112:
Todd: I want you to leave.
Tea: Do you really?
Todd (looking directly into her eyes): Yes.
Tea: Why? Last night you wanted me here. What's changed?
Todd: Just go away. Come back in a few days and it'll be better.
Tea: What will be better? What's wrong?
Todd: You don't want to know this. You really don't want to know this.
Tea: Yes, I do. I love you. I want to know everything, even the horrible things.
Todd (speaking softly): Horrible...
Tea: I could call Viki. You could talk to her.
Todd: No! No! Don't do that.
[Todd walks to the other side of the staircase and grabs tightly to the railing as he faces Tea but doesn't look directly at her. Tea waits for several minutes before Todd speaks again.]
Todd (still not looking at Tea): You know the stuff they do when they throw people in jail...the procedures.
Tea: Fingerprinting and...
Todd: That part's nothing. They probably do that part to everyone.
Tea: Do they do something to you that they don't do to everyone?
[Todd briefly looks at Tea but quickly looks away.]
Todd (sarcastically): I'm special.
Tea: What do they do to you?
Todd: Do you remember that time a long time ago that I got locked away with that boyfriend of yours?
Tea: Andrew?
Todd: They didn't do it to him but they did it to me. I guess they figured he was safe, being a preacher and all.
Tea: Safe?
Todd: The special prisoners get special treatment. They get taken to a special room and have special things done to them.
[Tea can tell that Todd is shaking from holding the railing as tightly as he is.]
Todd: They wouldn't dare do that to Viki or any of the other rich people in this pathetic town. I'm rich but it doesn't matter for this. I know there's no way in hell that they did it to the mighty Bo Buchanan when he was locked up for that chick's murder. They didn't do that to his kid either. I bet all of the Buchanans are automatically exempt. Probably everyone in this damn town is but me. I sure as hell don't get to be exempt...ever. It doesn't matter what phony charge they throw me in there for, they always have to check, always have to be sure that the big, bad monster doesn't sneak something in up his...
Tea (understanding): Todd...
Todd: Get out of here, Tea. Just leave me alone for a while, okay?
Tea: Todd, I don't want to leave. You don't have to push me away. I understand.
Todd (looking at her): No, you don't. You don't have a clue. You don't know what it's like.
Tea: No, I don't but I do understand why it would be so horrible for you...especially you.
Todd: Why especially me?
Tea: What your father did...
Todd (yelling angrily): Get the hell out! Right now!
Tea: For anyone who's been raped...
Todd: Get out! Get out! Get out!
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Shut the hell up! Get the hell out! I don't want you here anymore.
Tea: You don't have to push me away.
Todd: If you don't get out on your own I'll be pushing you out the door in about a minute.
Tea: Todd, I'm sorry that they do that to you, that you have to go through that.
Todd: I don't need your pity.
Tea: We've discussed this in the past, remember? It isn't pity. It's compassion. There is a difference. Let me show you.
Todd: I don't give a damn about any difference. I don't give a damn about you.
Tea: Do you mean that?
Todd: Yeah, I mean that.
Tea: Last night...
Todd: Last night you were drunk. I would have said anything to get you into the sack.
Tea: That's not true. You didn't want to have sex because I was drunk.
Todd: Yeah, I did. I just wanted you to beg first. (looking directly at her) It worked. You were doing a lot of begging. It was pretty pathetic really.
Tea: You don't have to do this.
Todd: I thought you were into honesty.
Tea: Then let's get back to the honesty and stop trying to push me away by pretending that I don't matter to you.
Todd: You don't.
Tea: How can you do this?
Todd: What? It's just me being me being mean.
Tea: You're hurting so you hurt me. You don't even care if you break my heart in the process. (looking at her watch) Congratulations, this time you managed to do it in less than a day.
[Tea turns to leave.]
Todd (sounding slightly calmer): Do what?
Tea (turning around to face him): End our relationship. You've always been good at that. I'll have someone else come for my things. I'll leave town. I won't come back this time. I believe after last night that you do love me and I'm willing to go through just about anything with you as long as you respect me and don't hurt me on purpose. I can't do this anymore. I don't have it in me to keep going through this. You could smash everything I own against that fireplace right now and I would understand but the one thing I will not allow you to smash ever again is my heart.
[Tea turns and walks out of the penthouse.]
chapter 113:
[Todd stands alone in the penthouse, stunned. He knows from experience that Tea doesn't mean it when she leaves. She's always come back in the past. She'll come back again this time, too...she has to. He has a fear, though, like he does every time, that this could be the one time that she doesn't come back...this could be the one time that he finally loses her forever.
In the hallway...
Tea frantically pushes at the button for the elevator, wanting to leave as quickly as possible, before her strength gives out and she returns to the penthouse.
She wants to return, to keep trying for the future with Todd that she wants so desperately, but she has promised herself so many times that she would not allow him to hurt her again. She can't keep having her heart broken by Todd every time they get too close or the emotions become too intense. Her heart is worn out from the back and forth dance they've been doing for far too long.
When the elevator finally arrives Tea enters it hesitantly, wishing that her return to the penthouse could have been what she was hoping for instead of this painful reality. More than anything, Tea just wanted to finally spend some time alone and quiet with Todd, with his arms around her, feeling his love surround her.
A tear falls down her cheek, knowing that she'll never find the love she's spent her lifetime looking for. At least, she'll never be able to just relax and enjoy that love because something will always happen to prevent it.
Tea looks away as the elevator doors begin to close, not wanting to be tempted to rush out and back to the penthouse. She quickly looks back at the doors when she hears a sudden noise.
She finds Todd standing in front of her holding the doors open, trying to look nonchalant. They both stand there for a moment, uncertain what to say to each other.]
Todd (casually gesturing toward the penthouse): Come on.
Tea: Huh?
Todd: Come on. I'm not going to stand here holding this stupid elevator open all day. Let's go.
Tea: I'm...I'm not going anywhere...except down. (looking away, unable to maintain eye contact with him) I'm leaving.
Todd: I know. You're always leaving. And, you always come back. So, you're coming back...right now.
Tea: No, I'm not.
Todd: I'm not in the mood to do this with you, Tea. Just get out of the elevator.
Tea (becoming more stubborn): No.
Todd: Look, Tea, I'll carry you if I have to.
Tea: You'll carry me, huh? But, will you carry me up to bed and make love to me? Will you share the same bed with me for the rest of our lives? We both know the answer to that. We both know that this is over. We can't go back to having casual sex and we can't move forward to something deeper because you won't let us.
Todd: Are you sure about that?
Tea: What are you saying?
Todd: I'm saying... I'm not saying anything. Look, it's your choice.
Tea: What choice? What other option are you offering me?
Todd: Things were good there for a while, weren't they? Remember, before you took off, things, the way we had them, were working for both of us.
Tea: No, they weren't. Not for me. I need more than you're willing to give me.
Todd: I don't know why you've been pushing for that. You know I can't do that.
Tea: Yes, you can.
Todd: No...no...you just like kidding yourself about that.
Tea: I'm not kidding myself.
Todd: Yeah, you are.
Tea: I want you to make love to me.
Todd: In the elevator? That's pretty kinky. You know, they have security cameras in here. You want one of those creepy security guys making a video?
Tea: I wasn't talking about the elevator or even about right now. I understand that right now isn't a good time for you.
Todd: Shut up about that.
Tea: What about tonight? Tomorrow night? A year from now? I need to know that at some point we'll be able to make love together without having to pretend that it doesn't mean anything to either of us. I need to be able to be in your arms without you needing to pull away or push me away.
Todd: Things were fine before. Let's just leave them the way they were.
Tea: I can't. I love you. I'm in love with you. I need to tell you that. I need to show you. I need you to show me.
Todd: I don't do the warm, fuzzy stuff. Just deal with it.
Tea: I think you do. I think you could if you would just let down some of your defenses and let me inside.
Todd: You're already in as far as anyone can go. I'm just not as deep as you want me to be.
Tea: That's not true.
Todd: You know, I really hate it when you tell me what's true about myself.
Tea: You want to know what's really true?
Todd: No.
Tea: That time...that one time...remember...when we were having sex...meaningless, casual sex, right?
Todd: The best kind.
Tea: Right. When we had finished and we both had reached the peak of physical satisfaction and we were exhausted and I collapsed on top of you...
Todd: Look, I'm not really in a storytime kind of mood right now, okay?
Tea: I collapsed on top of you and you wrapped your arms around me. Just for a few seconds you held me. You showed me that you loved me...that you liked being close to me...being intimate with me. When you realized what you had done...that you had acknowledged that closeness...you had to end it so you let go. At the time I read it wrong but now I know what that was. I got inside you deeper than you could handle.
Todd: Maybe my arms were just tired.
Tea: Do you have to joke about this?
Todd: Yes. I do. I really do, Tea. I know you're into all this sharing junk but I'm not. This stuff doesn't make me feel good. It makes me want to get the hell out of here. So, just let it go, okay? Just let things be the way they are...the way they need to be.
Tea: I need you to let me share those feelings with you. You don't have to say them out loud.
Todd: Since when? You've been pushing me to talk about my feelings almost as long as I've known you.
Tea: Well, now I want you to show me. I want you to share those feelings with me by sharing a bed with me.
Todd: Forget it. I give up.
[Todd lets go of the elevator doors and returns to the penthouse, leaving Tea alone in the elevator.]
chapter 114:
[Twenty minutes later...
Todd is sitting on the sofa in the living room, a bottle of beer in his hand. He jumps up suddenly when he hears a key in the lock.
He watches in disbelief as Tea enters with her suitcase in her hand and a determined look on her face.]
Tea (as she walks passed him): I'll be sleeping in my old room from now on.
[Tea walks up the stairs as Todd stares at her, uncertain what her return means.
Upstairs, minutes later...
Tea sits on the bed, waiting to see if Todd will choose to come upstairs and interact with her. When he doesn't, she decides to take a shower. She still feels lousy from the drinking binge she went on the night before and hopes the shower will help her feel better.
Several minutes later...
Tea finishes her shower and reaches out for a towel but is surprised to find muscles beneath the cloth she's touching instead of her towel on the towel rack.
Tea stands completely naked in front of Todd as she wipes the water from her face with her hand so she can open her eyes and look at him.]
Todd: What does this mean?
Tea: My taking a shower?
Todd: Why did you come back?
Tea: You asked me to.
Todd: You refused.
Tea: I changed my mind.
Todd: What does that mean?
Tea: It means I decided to stay.
Todd: What does that mean?
Tea: For a guy who hates questions, you're certainly asking a lot of them.
Todd: I hate when you ask me questions, pushing for answers that are none of your business.
Tea: Well, maybe I think they are my business.
Todd: Well, maybe you're wrong.
Tea: Do you really want to debate this right now while I'm standing her completely naked in front of you?
Todd (lying): I hadn't noticed.
Tea: Why doesn't that surprise me?
Todd: So, what does this mean?
Tea: Not what you want it to.
Todd: Why can't you just give me a straight answer?
Tea: Why can't you sleep in the same bed with me?
Todd: Because I can't. Why did you come back?
Tea: Because I did.
Todd: You're really starting to irritate me, Delgado. Just tell me already.
Tea: I came back because when those elevator doors closed, with you on one side and me on the other, I wanted to be on the side that you were on. Okay?
Todd: Okay.
[Todd turns and leaves the bathroom. Tea grabs a towel and rushes after him.]
Tea: Todd, wait.
[Todd continues walking quickly and Tea is forced to follow him downstairs to the living room.]
Tea: We need to talk.
Todd: We just did.
Tea: We need to talk more.
Todd: About what?
[Todd finally turns around and sees Tea on the stairs closing the towel around her wet body. Tea briefly catches the admiring look on his face before he quickly looks away and goes into the kitchen for another bottle of beer. Tea follows him.]
Tea: We need to set some ground rules.
Todd: No, we don't.
Tea: Yes, we do, if I'm going to stay.
Todd: You're staying anyway. We both know that.
Tea: I'm serious, Todd.
Todd: So am I. If leaving were an option you'd be driving out of town right now. Instead, you're standing here naked.
Tea: I'm wearing a towel.
Todd: Barely.
Tea: I noticed you noticing a moment ago. We can pursue that in a few minutes if you'd like but first we need to discuss the rules.
Todd: Fine. Rule number one is that you don't get to ask me questions anymore. Rule number two...
Tea (interrupting): We're not having sex the way we did in the past anymore.
Todd: Huh?
Tea: We can still have sex...I assume we will...I hope we will...but it won't be the way it's been. I won't enter your bedroom at night, make love and then retreat immediately after we finish ever again.
Todd: Tea, look...
Tea: If you're not ready to share a bed with me then we'll wait but I won't give up on the idea, Todd.
Todd: Just tell me what the hell's going on. I hate it when you try to confuse me like this.
Tea: That's why we need rules...an agreement really...so neither of us is confused.
Todd: Are we putting this in writing?
Tea: I think we can both trust each other with an oral agreement.
Todd: So, what do you want this time?
Tea: You already know what I want. Until that time, though, we can't be intimate in bed anymore.
Todd: Why?
Tea: It's too painful for me. I'll want to lay with you after we finish making love and it will hurt too much when you can't do that.
Todd: You don't think it will hurt if I pull away from you after we're together in the laundry room or under the dining room table or wherever else you might be thinking of?
Tea: It will be what it is without any opportunity to pretend it's something else.
Todd: What will it be?
Tea: A quickie. Nothing more. Just both of us needing to achieve a certain physical goal.
Todd: I see.
Tea: Would that be okay with you?
Todd: Sounds good to me.
Tea: I thought it might.
chapter 115:
Todd: Tea, I know you. There's no way that you'll let this sharing a bed thing go.
Tea: No, I won't but I will wait until you're ready.
Todd: So, according to your own rule, I could take that towel off your body and we could enjoy ourselves right now and you'd be okay with that?
Tea: We never did test your theory that having sex helps one recover from a hangover. We could try it and find out.
Todd: Tea, are you really serious about this? I thought you said earlier that you didn't want to go back to casual sex.
Tea: I don't. I won't.
Todd (plopping down on a chair at the kitchen table): You are the most frustrating person. I feel like I need a translator for every conversation we have.
Tea (sitting down on a chair next to him): There may be some similarities but it won't be casual sex. There won't be a lot of foreplay...well, I suppose there could be if you wanted there to be. I know I certainly would enjoy it if there were but there doesn't have to be. It may be quick but it won't be casual because I won't pretend anymore. I love you. When I have sex with you I will be making love to you. There won't be anything casual...not for me.
Todd (speaking quietly): Not for me either.
Tea (smiling): Good. I'm glad. If you're not ready to be completely intimate with me then we'll wait. We'll do what you are okay with because I don't want to give up having sex with you. I enjoy it too much.
Todd: Really?
Tea: Do you doubt that?
Todd: You seemed into it the times we've done stuff.
Tea: I'm very into it. I'm very into you. In fact, right now I really want you to be into me...inside me...deep inside me...
Todd (standing up): Uh, yeah, I get the idea, Tea. Look, we need to talk about something.
Tea (standing up and approaching him): I thought you didn't want to talk. I thought there was something else you had in mind right now.
Todd: There is but there's something I need to know and I guess now would be a good time for this. I need you to tell me something. I need the truth.
Tea: I'll tell you anything and I'll always be truthful with you.
Todd: Go upstairs and get dressed.
Tea: Why? A moment ago you liked that I wasn't dressed.
Todd: Yeah, well, I...um...I always kind of like that. Right now, though, for what I need to ask you, you need to be dressed.
Tea: What's wrong?
Todd: Just go get dressed, okay?
[Tea is nervous about what Todd wants to discuss. She can tell from his body language that it isn't something positive. She goes upstairs and puts on something conservative before returning to the kitchen where Todd is sitting quietly, except for his fingers drumming nervously on the table.]
Tea (sitting opposite Todd): Okay, let's talk.
[When Todd doesn't speak, Tea becomes even more nervous.]
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Just give me a minute here, okay?
[Tea sits quietly, trying to discern from Todd's facial expression what could be so difficult for him to talk about.]
Tea (minutes later): We could do this another time.
Todd: No. It has to be right now. I don't want to think about it anymore.
Tea: I need you to fill me in on what it is. I can tell it's something unpleasant.
Todd: It's repulsive.
Tea: What is?
Todd (looking down and lowering his voice): You and...
[Todd is unable to finish his sentence.]
Tea: Me and what? (suddenly comprehending) Me and whom, right?
Todd: Whom?
Tea: Is this about my relationship...my past relationship with John Sykes?
Todd: I don't want all the gory details. I don't want to hear about how great he was in bed.
Tea: You don't have to worry about hearing that from me.
Todd: I just need to know...
Tea: What do you need to know? I'll tell you whatever you want to know, Todd. I won't keep any secrets from you.
chapter 116:
Todd: I just want...I need to know where you were when...um...when you were...you know...with...him.
Tea: Where?
Todd: It was here, right? (his anger coming through despite his efforts to try to stop it) You screwed him here, didn't you?
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Was it in the same bed you've been screwing me in? Well, Tea? Suddenly you're not so talkative.
Tea: Todd, calm down.
Todd: Just tell me where the hell it was. Did you use the laundry room with him, too?
Tea: No. I never did anything with anyone in a laundry room before you. It's special between us. At least it is for me.
Todd: So, where? Here on this...(slamming his hand down in front of him)...table? Huh? Tell me! Tell me what furniture I have to destroy. Tell me!
Tea: We didn't do anything like that down here.
Todd: I'm supposed to believe you?
Tea: Yes. We did kiss but we never had sex down here.
Todd: So, was it the same bed we've been using?
Tea: No.
Todd: The master bedroom?
Tea: No.
Todd (disgusted): Starr's room?
Tea: Of course not. How could you think that?
Todd: Well, where the hell else is there? The hallway?
Tea: The nanny's room.
Todd: That's disgusting.
Tea: No, it isn't. It was the only room that I had never been in with you. I didn't have any direct memories of you in there.
Todd: How many times?
[Tea doesn't answer.]
Todd (yelling): How many?
Tea: I don't know.
Todd: Don't lie to me.
Tea: I'm not lying.
Todd: It was so many thousands of times that you have trouble remembering them all?
Tea: I was so drunk I don't remember them.
Todd: He took advantage of you when you were drunk? I'll hurt him worse than I hurt him last night.
Tea: Don't. It's not his fault. He didn't get me drunk. I got myself drunk.
Todd: Why?
Tea: It was the only way I could do it.
Todd: Why would you be with him at all if you didn't really want it?
Tea: Because I wanted to get over you.
Todd: You figured doing the bed bop with the creepy cop would help with that?
Tea: I was trying to force myself to stop having feelings for you. It didn't work. It just made me feel sick.
Todd: But you kept on doing it, right?
Tea: A few times.
Todd: So, it was just in that one bedroom?
Tea: Well, um...
Todd: Where else?
Tea: Well...
Todd: Spit it out already!
Tea: We, um, started out in the shower.
Todd (standing up): I'm going to be sick.
Tea: We didn't actually...not in the shower...we left the shower and we were on the bathroom rug...
Todd: This just gets worse.
Tea: It...the actual...it...didn't happen there either.
Todd: It wasn't sleazy enough for you?
Tea: We didn't have any condoms in there and I wouldn't let him... Well, I...I wouldn't let him without one, okay?
Todd: You keep a stash in the nanny's bedroom, do you?
Tea: No. He didn't have one. He tried to convince me to not use one but I refused. I was drunk but I wasn't stupid. I hadn't had a need for condoms in a while so I went to Roseanne's room. She was living here with me at the time and I knew where she kept her condoms.
Todd: The family that shares their condom stashes...
Tea: I'm sorry that this hurts you so much but you knew that you weren't the first man I had been with. In fact, you knew that I had been with John before you and I ever made love.
Todd: But did it have to be here?
Tea: I'm not the first woman you've been with here.
Todd: That's different.
Tea: Why?
Todd: Because that knowledge doesn't make me want to vomit.
Tea: It's not easy for me either. You were married before me. You shared a life with someone else. You shared your heart. You created a child together.
Todd: You knew all that going in.
Tea: You knew about John going in.
Todd: Don't say 'going in' and his name in the same sentence. (closing his eyes) No one belongs there but me.
Tea: I don't want anyone there but you.
Todd: So, that's it then? No other guys after I left?
Tea: No. (pause) Well...
Todd (rushing to the sink, feigning illness): Oh, now I really am going to be sick.
Tea: Never mind.
Todd (turning toward her): Go ahead and tell me so we can never talk about this again.
Tea: R.J. wanted to have a relationship with me and I was tempted.
Todd: Why would you choose the detective over R.J.?
Tea: I didn't want to hurt R.J. I didn't want to use him.
Todd (smiling slightly): But you didn't mind hurting Sykes?
Tea: That part you enjoy?
Todd: Hell, yeah. So, nothing happened with you and Gannon?
Tea: I did throw myself at him once but he knew my heart wasn't in it. He was a real gentleman.
Todd: Do you have feelings for him?
Tea: Only as a friend.
Todd: Yeah, well, Andrew was your friend, remember?
Tea: I only slept with Andrew once and that was a long time ago.
Todd: Kevin?
Tea: Not even remotely. I may be self-destructive at times but I'll never be that desperate again.
Todd: Okay.
Tea: Okay?
Todd: Okay.
Tea: So, that's it?
Todd: For now. I'll have the nanny's bedroom and bathroom sealed off or torched or something later.
Tea: You don't want to throw me out?
Todd: If you can handle my past I guess I can try to handle yours.
Tea: Wow! You really have matured.
Todd: If anyone ever even looks at you that way again they won't be seeing much of anything ever again.
Tea: Then again...maybe you haven't.
chapter 117:
[After discussing Tea's sex life during their estrangement, both Tea and Todd find the ensuing silence to be extremely uncomfortable. They both agree that perhaps they shouldn't be in the same room for a while. Todd leaves the penthouse, assuring Tea that he will be back for dinner.
Later, at Viki's office...
Todd enters without knocking and sits in a chair on the opposite side of the desk from Viki. Viki ignores his rude interruption and continues working. Todd leans back in the chair and places his feet on Viki's desk, waiting for her to acknowledge him. Viki continues to ignore him for several more minutes.]
Todd: So, my wife had sex with another guy in my bed. She had this really bizarre thing going with that Sykes guy.
Viki (finally acknowledging his presence): When was this?
Todd: After she dumped me...before I took her back.
Viki: You left town after being married to her for less than a day.
Todd: Hey, we were married a long time...well, during the first marriage.
Viki: You didn't contact her for months.
Todd: I sent her stuff.
Viki: You had lied to her about very important...very serious issues.
Todd: So?
Viki: Do you really think that's something that she should have overlooked? Did you expect her to put her life on hold waiting for you to return?
Todd: Of course.
Viki: Did you put your life on hold?
Todd: I wasn't wrinkling the sheets with anyone else. I was busy with...(pause)...well, I was doing other stuff.
Viki: What other stuff would that be?
Todd: Just stuff.
Viki: I have put off pressing you about your time away because I knew that you were dealing with some difficult emotions with Tea but I would still like to know where you were and what you were doing.
Todd: Did you hear me earlier? Tea was cheating on me in my home...in my bed.
Viki: Then use a different bed. Let's discuss mental illness for a moment, shall we.
Todd: We shall not.
Viki: Todd...
Todd (interrupting): Okay, technically it wasn't a bed that I've ever slept on. She used the spare bedroom. It's still a bed I own, though. But, not for long. I'm going to get rid of it. I don't want it sitting there in that room like a Sykes shrine or something.
Viki: What's more important to you right now -- your jealousy or your relationship with Tea?
Todd: Let me think.
Viki: You have a chance, Todd, not only to have a future with Tea but also to learn from the mistakes you've made in the past.
Todd: You don't think I should kill Sykes?
Viki: Of course not.
Todd: But he's so worthless. I mean, really, who would miss him, huh?
Viki: I won't listen to this. Even if you are joking.
Todd: Was I joking?
chapter 118:
Viki: Why don't you come back when you're ready to explain to me why you made a mockery of something very painful from my past.
Todd: That wasn't my intention. You must know that.
Viki: Then take this seriously and give me some honest answers about your mental health, where you were all that time, if you were in therapy, why you've made numerous crass jokes in the past about my father sexually abusing me, whether or not your father raped you...
Todd: Okay, hold it.
[Todd takes a deep breath and removes his feet from Viki's desk as he sits up straight in his chair.]
Todd: You want to talk. Fine. We'll talk. Not here, though.
Viki: Where?
Todd: I don't care except it can't be here and it can't be at your house. It would be too easy for people to eavesdrop and what we talk about no one else gets to hear. You can't go blabbing it to your friends, either.
Viki: I would never do that.
Todd: You have in the past.
Viki: When?
Todd: You were the one who blabbed I had DID, right?
Viki: I only told people that I felt needed to know.
Todd: I can't answer your questions unless you promise me you won't tell anyone what I tell you. I mean, no one.
Viki: What about Tea?
Todd: I'll decide what she knows and when she knows it.
Viki: Okay. I won't reveal to anyone anything that you don't want me to.
Todd: Why don't I believe you?
Viki: Well, if it was for your own good...
Todd (standing up): Forget it.
[Viki stands up and walks around her desk, approaching Todd.]
Viki: Todd, if I thought your life was in danger...
Todd: I don't care. If you can't keep your mouth shut then I'm keeping mine shut.
Viki: If the only way I could save your life...
Todd: I'd prefer that you let me die.
Viki: I wouldn't be able to do that.
Todd: Then I can't tell you about any of this stuff.
Viki: You can trust me.
Todd: If you told...
[Todd wants to say that if she revealed any of his secrets he would cut her out of his life but he can't say that. Even though there have been times when he's gone months without contacting her he knows that he needs Viki in his life. She's one of the few people that he counts on to always come through for him when he really needs it.
Viki can see how emotional Todd is feeling. She wants to reassure him but doesn't want to make a promise to him that she knows under certain circumstances she would be unable to keep.]
Viki: I promise that anything you reveal to me in confidence will stay just between the two of us...except if that information were absolutely necessary to save your life and even then I would only reveal it to people who needed that information to save you. That's the best promise I can make to you because I don't want to lie to you.
Todd: I don't need to talk about this stuff anyway.
Viki: Are you sure about that? Secrets can be hard to live with alone. I know.
Todd: You don't even know what my secrets are. They may not even be anything juicy.
Viki: Well, I'm willing to listen to you and find out for myself.
Todd: Let's get out of here then.
Viki: Just let me finish up a few things.
Todd: Forget it. In about two seconds I'm going to change my mind about this whole stupid sharing our garbage thing.
Viki: Well, in that case I won't give you those two seconds. We'll leave right now.
chapter 119:
Viki and Todd go to Viki's cabin on Llantano Mountain. After checking the place out to make sure that no one else is there, Todd sits down with Viki and fills her in on his whereabouts while he was gone. They both discuss their childhoods and other painful topics.
It's a deeply emotional experience for both of them that leaves them both exhausted, emotionally and physically. Several hours into the next morning, Viki retires to one of the bedrooms to get some sleep. Todd stays in the living room, pacing and wondering if he did the right thing talking about so many things with Viki that he never really wanted to talk to anyone about.
When Viki awakens hours later, she finds Todd pacing in the living room, obviously not having slept at all. When she tries to talk to him she finds that he's completely shut down. She feels grateful that he trusted her as much as he did the night before, talking to her about subjects that she knew were excruciating for him to discuss.
After a silent, on Todd's part, breakfast, Viki suggests that they return to Llanview. She makes it clear to Todd that what they discussed is private and she won't discuss it with anyone. She also assures him that he can talk to her about anything, anytime that he needs to.
Todd grunts his understanding and walks to the door. He has the door open and has stepped outside already when he surprises Viki by quickly walking back into the cabin and hugging her very firmly. A few seconds later, Todd releases the hug. Viki does the same. Todd turns and quickly leaves the cabin.
For hours Todd drives around Llanview and neighboring communities. He hasn't slept but his adrenaline is high. He determines that he'll have to avoid Viki for a while since she knows too much now. He knows he won't avoid her forever since he accepts, begrudgingly, that he needs her in his life. A few days of distance, he decides, would probably be a good thing.
As he drives, Todd continuously checks the clock on the dashboard. He counts the hours since he left the penthouse, since he last saw Tea. He knows that he promised Tea that he'd be home for dinner the night before. He knows that Tea won't be happy that he'll be a little late.
He had thought about it while at the cabin the night before and knew that calling her to let her know he wasn't coming home that night would have been the decent thing to do. He didn't call.
Todd spends all day in his car. He even eats fast food in his car...anything to ensure the least amount of human contact...and, anything to avoid going home.
He continues to drive until darkness has finally descended upon Llanview. Todd parks his car on Esperanza Street and walks toward one of his favorite night spots...the dark, deserted docks.
He soon discovers that his docks aren't as deserted as he had hoped they would be.
chapter 120:
[Todd and his companion on the dock stare at each other for several seconds without speaking.]
Todd (looking away): What the hell are you doing here?
Tea: I'll leave.
Todd: Good!
Tea: I'm sorry.
[Tea turns and begins walking away. Todd waits until she's almost gone before he speaks.]
Todd: For what?
[Tea turns back around and faces him.]
Tea: For hurting you. That was never my intention.
Todd: You sure about that?
Tea: Okay, maybe there were moments when I wanted to hurt you...or I thought I did...but really I didn't. I hate it when you're hurting. It hurts me. When you're in pain I feel like I'm in pain, too. (referring to her relationship with Sykes) I really was just trying to get over you...trying to move on with my life and forget you. I knew it wouldn't work. I knew that I would end up regretting it. I knew that if you ever came back and learned of my relationship with him, assuming you cared at all about me, I would end up punishing you along with myself. I'm sorry for that.
[Tea again starts to walk away.]
Todd: Why were you trying to punish yourself?
[Tea turns back toward Todd again.]
Todd: Because you were stupid enough to love me?
Tea: I don't think that was stupid.
Todd: I do.
Tea: I don't. I think it was one of the smartest things I've ever done. I hope you can get passed this so we can still be together. I don't want to lose you.
Todd: I spent the night with another woman.
[Tea is deeply hurt but tries to hide it. She wishes that a blinding rainstorm would suddenly begin so the tears she knows are about to fall could be hidden because she knows that she won't even pretend to try to walk away anymore tonight as long as Todd is still speaking to her.]
Tea: I guess I deserve that. You wanted to make us even. (trying to cover the emotional pain with practicality) Did you take precautions?
Todd: When have you ever known me not to be cautious?
Tea: You haven't been with me.
[For several minutes, Todd has avoided looking directly at Tea but suddenly he has to see her. He needs to see her eyes. When he looks in her eyes he sees the pain that he is purposely causing her. He can also tell that she's in stubborn mode and is refusing to allow herself to cry the tears that are visible in her eyes.]
Todd: Have you talked to Viki today?
Tea (shocked by the sudden change of topic): No. Why?
Todd: She's the woman I was with last night.
[Tea tries to understand why he would allow her to think he had sex, and spent the night, with someone else, knowing that it would hurt her.]
Tea: Why? (pause) Why?
Todd: I don't know. (pause) I also lied about being cautious.
Tea: What?
Todd: I wasn't cautious with her. I told her a bunch of stuff that I should have kept to myself.
Tea: Like what?
Todd: I'm not going to tell you.
Tea: Don't you trust me? Don't you think that I could understand whatever it is?
Todd: I don't know. (pause) Maybe. (pause) I don't feel like talking anymore, okay? Not after all that talking with Viki. I just want to not think about it for a while.
Tea: Okay.
[Tea moves a little closer to Todd.]
Tea: Maybe it's time that we went home.
Todd: I'm a little late for dinner.
Tea (laughing lightly): Yeah, a little. You know, normally when my date is more than a day late for dinner I get pretty upset.
Todd: Really? So, you're into that prompt thing, huh?
Tea: Under normal circumstances.
Todd: My circumstances have never been normal.
Tea: No, they haven't. You do look exhausted, Todd. Didn't you and Viki get any sleep last night?
Todd: Viki did but, you know, she's a girl and...
Tea: Yeah, I know. Sleep is for girls. I remember.
Todd: I wish I didn't.
[Tea knows that he's referring to something other than the conversation from their past that she was quoting back to him.]
Tea: Let's go home, Todd.
to be continued...
