| IN SICKNESS BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 104 |
PREVIOUSLY:
Tea: Let's not even go home for our clothes. Let's just stop and see Starr and then have an impromptu adventure together. We'll buy whatever we need, as we need it.
Todd: After we get the results, and find out everything's okay, you'll agree to sit at home not doing anything, until our kid's ready to come out and play?
Tea: I'll take it easy. I'll let you pamper me as much as you want.
Todd: Deal!
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chapter 104:
[Hours later...]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: What?
Tea: Are you sure about this?
Todd: What?
Tea: You don't have to take me there, if you want it to be your private place.
Todd: What makes you think you know where I'm taking you?
Tea: Are we almost there?
Todd: Maybe.
Tea: I know where you're taking me.
Todd: How?
Tea: We're in New Jersey. You're taking me to the motel you bought.
Todd: You don't want to go there?
Tea: I do, but only if you want me there.
Todd: It's not that big of a deal, Tea. Seriously, it isn't. Don't be expecting too much.
Tea: But, it's a big deal to you. That was a difficult time for you.
Todd: It was worse for you. I promised to always be there for you and I blew it.
Tea: You were scared. I understood. I am confused now, though. I thought you said earlier that the place you were considering taking me was a place that was a reminder of when I was sick. I wasn't sick anymore by the time you left.
Todd: It all goes together. You got sick. You came back to me. You put me through hell. I put my kid inside you. I put you through hell. I took off.
Tea: You didn't put me through hell.
Todd: I hurt you.
Tea: Not on purpose. You had a nightmare.
Todd: I always have nightmares. I should have protected you.
Tea: I didn't want that kind of protection.
Todd: No matter what I did I was going to hurt you. Staying hurt you. Taking off hurt you.
Tea: We both knew that, if we beat the cancer, there was a strong possibility that we would go our separate ways again.
Todd: I hurt you when I split. Just admit what I did. Stop pretending I'm some great guy.
Tea: You are great...to me. I understood why you left. I really did. I understood why you stayed away, too. Yes, it hurt being without you, but it was different from our other separations in the past. I knew that you loved me. I knew that your feelings hadn't changed. I knew that you were somewhere out there hurting just as much as I was because we were apart.
Todd: What difference does that make?
Tea: It makes a lot of difference to me. I also knew that you would come back. What we have, we'll have forever. I know that now.
Todd: You really believe that?
Tea: Don't you?
Todd: I thought it would be like that before and it wasn't. What if we're wrong this time, too?
Tea: We're not. We're both on the same page this time.
Todd: I still expect you to split.
Tea: I won't, unless...
Todd: That won't happen. If you ever take off on me again, it will be when you're healthy and yelling at me in Spanish because you've finally figured out what a creep I am.
Tea: That will never happen.
Todd: You'll yell at me in English, so I'll understand what you're yelling?
Tea: I'll never leave you. Just like you'll never leave me.
Todd: I did.
Tea: You won't in the future. I believe that.
Todd: You don't care if we have to sleep in separate bedrooms so my nightmares can't touch you?
Tea: We could sleep in separate houses and I would still be happy, as long as they're next door to each other and we're together every waking moment.
Todd: You'd get sick of me, if we ever really spent that much time together.
Tea: We spent a lot of time together while I was sick.
Todd: That's different. You were too out of it to get the full effect.
Tea: Since you came back, we've been together virtually non-stop. I haven't tired of you yet. I never will.
Todd: It has to happen at some point.
Tea: You fascinate me too much. I'm the one who will probably bore you first.
Todd: That's true.
[Tea playfully pushes her hand against his arm.]
Todd: Watch it! I'm driving precious cargo.
Tea: Speaking of that... I think the baby's hungry.
Todd: Again? We ate with Starr before we left, remember?
Tea: Just a quick snack.
Todd: Can the kid wait a little longer? We'll be there soon.
Tea: You do realize that once he's born, when he wants to be fed, he won't be understanding. You'll have to feed him right away, or he'll get cranky.
Todd: Just like his mom, now that she's eating for twelve.
Tea: I can wait...if we're almost there.
Todd: I thought you were planning on doing all the feeding yourself...you know, with your built-in beverage dispensers. Did you change your mind?
Tea: I still plan to breast-feed...if I'm not sick.
Todd: You won't be.
Tea: I can express milk sometimes, though, so you can also feed him.
Todd: That seems unnatural.
Tea: Expressing milk? Or, a father bonding with his child while feeding him?
Todd: I sure as hell know that Peter Manning never did any of that bonding junk with me.
Tea: You're not Peter Manning. You're Todd Manning.
Todd: There's not that much of a difference.
Tea: You love your children. There's a big difference.
Todd: That doesn't mean that I'm not a creep, just like dear old dad.
Tea: You're nothing like your father. You have compassion. You care about people. You love your family.
Todd: I'm a bastard. Don't forget that one similarity.
Tea: If only you could see yourself through my eyes, Querido.
Todd: Rose looks good on you. It doesn't do a thing for me.
Tea: It isn't through rose colored glasses that I see you. I see you as exactly who you are.
Todd: Including the lousy parts?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: Really? Sometimes with all the mushy stuff going on, you act like you don't.
Tea: I see beyond the things you've done. I see who you really are deep inside.
Todd: Who is that?
Tea: The loving husband I adore.
Todd: That's just for you, Delgado. The rest of the world sees me as one of the top bastards.
Tea: It doesn't matter what the rest of the world sees.
Todd: It will to this kid, when he gets older.
Tea: He'll see you as the loving father I know you'll be to him, just like Starr sees you.
Todd: I blew it with Starr.
Tea: You made it up to her. It's okay to make mistakes. You are human.
Todd: That's debatable.
Tea: I've made mistakes.
Todd: Not like mine.
Tea: No matter what you say, you'll never convince me to see you as nothing but a monster.
Todd: That's one of the things I've always liked about you...and hated.
Tea: It's easier for you to pretend you're a monster.
Todd: It's easier for me to be a monster. All this trying to be a decent guy, for you and Starr, is hard work. It will be even harder if this kid is a boy.
Tea: Don't worry so much about it. You're not your father. You never will be, whether this child is a boy, or a girl.
Todd: I keep thinking about the stuff he taught me. I never want to teach my kid that kind of stuff.
Tea: You won't. Do you know why I trust completely that you won't continue the cycle of abuse that your father taught you, with this child?
Todd: Because I never laid a hand on Starr?
Tea: That's part of it.
Todd: But, I did hurt her other ways.
Tea: Not on purpose.
Todd: It doesn't matter. Hurting a kid is hurting a kid. Did you enjoy it when your mom split on you?
Tea: Of course not. But, our mothers walking out on us wasn't as hurtful as what your father did to you.
Todd: I don't know. I thought it kind of hurt.
Tea: It hurt when my mother left, too. You know what I mean. I don't think that your mother left because she wanted to hurt you.
Todd: She left me with a monster that she knew would do all that stuff to me.
Tea: Maybe we shouldn't talk about this right now. All I was trying to get through to you is that I think it's the very fact that you're so concerned about hurting your children that makes it less liking that you will.
Todd: Is that supposed to make sense?
Tea: If you were cavalier about what happened to you, if you were unconcerned about how it would affect you as a father, maybe then I would be concerned. You're so scared that you'll become your father that I know you'll do everything you can to protect your children. You'll never let the ghost of Peter Manning harm them.
Todd: He already made me split on both of them. This kid isn't even born yet and I already took off on him once.
Tea: But, you came back.
Todd: But, I left.
Tea: You left to protect us, not to hurt us. That's the difference between you and your father. You don't take pleasure in hurting your family. You'd rather hurt yourself than hurt us.
Todd: What if I can't do it, Tea? What if I can't make this work?
Tea: We'll make it work together. I didn't exactly have a perfect childhood, either. I feel just as lost as you do about how to be a good parent. But, the one thing that I trust is that this child will feel secure in how much we both love him, or her. That right there will be more than you, or I, had when we were growing up.
to be continued...
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2002 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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