| IN THE SHADOWS BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 1 |
Tea hadn't come in costume. She had considered it but had convinced herself weeks ago when she had first heard of the impending party that she was too busy with her demanding job to have time for costumes and parties. She had planned to spend the evening at home working on upcoming cases in the DA's office.
Something had drawn her to this place tonight though, despite her internal insistence that a crowd of celebrating people was not something that she wanted to be a part of.
Tea stays hidden in the shadows as she continues to survey the room and its occupants. She recognizes numerous attendees and laughs at some of their choices of costume.
Tea returns her gaze to her former step-daughter who stands on the other side of the room in a circle of other young girls. Tea recognizes several of the girls from when she accompanied Starr on play dates during her marriage to Todd.
Todd...where is he tonight? Is he near?
Tea shakes her head in anger. Why does she ask herself the same questions every night. Every time she has a sensation of being watched she convinces herself that her ex-husband is near, crouched in the shadows just waiting for the right moment to approach her. It's been almost a year since she's seen or had any direct contact with him...clearly that moment will never happen.
Returning her thoughts to Starr, Tea watching as Starr twirls in her beautiful gown. Cinderella...Starr did always favor that fairy tale. Tea laughs to herself as she recalls Todd's embarrassment at Starr insisting that both her father and step-mother together read the fairy tale to her. Each were assigned multiple characters to do the voices for. Todd put up an outward struggle for having to humiliate himself in such a fashion but Tea could see in his eyes how much he truly enjoyed making his daughter laugh at the voices he created and the ad-libs he inserted into the story.
Tea shakes her head slightly again trying to release the hold that Todd Manning still has on her mind...her body...her soul. He's gone. Forget about him. Focus on something real, something tangible in your own life. Focus on your future not your past.
Todd...his eyes...that feeling of falling into the depths of his being just by looking into his eyes. His mouth...the mischievous grin as he plots against his enemy...the softness of his lips as they kissed her for the first time. His arms...crossed against his chest as if to armor himself against the world, against her...except...those moments, those rare moments, when he let the armor down and he let her in. Those sweet, intoxicating moments when he allowed her to stand in his personal space, to touch him, to have her arms around him. So few times did he ever allow her that intimacy. Tea wonders if that's why he still has such a hold on her.
If they had finally consummated their relationship, if their business marriage had turned into a real marriage for more than just her, maybe her intense need for him would have evaporated long ago. Maybe if that void she carries with her at all times had been filled just once it wouldn't haunt her every night, it wouldn't make her squirm in her bed with a need that will never be fulfilled. Maybe if he had allowed her fantasies to come true just once she would have a chance to move on now.
As long as that fantasy goes unrealized Tea knows that no man will ever be able to satisfy her, to fill her, to make her explode in passion the way that Todd could have if he had only wanted to. Just a look from Todd would poise her body on the edge of paradise...a touch would send tingles through her body. No other man could ever accomplish that.
John Sykes had tried to give her pleasure...at least Tea assumes he was trying. His touch never did anything, never created a passion, never sent a wave of pleasure through her body. Tea had tried to make it happen. She tried to forget Todd but that didn't work. She eventually had even tried thinking of Todd while with Detective Sykes so she could at least enjoy herself but he would always ruin the fantasy. The sound of his voice, his heavy breathing that sounded like an animal in heat, the way he mauled her instead of lovingly caressing her, his obsession with his own pleasure over hers, his insistence on deluding himself into thinking that he compared favorably to Todd each time he brought up Tea's relationship with her ex-husband, had made certain that Tea would never enjoy their physical relationship. His kisses were painful, not from an aching need inside her that she wanted him to fill but because of the way he would slam his lips against her lips. His eyes never showed any depth to her, never revealed his insecurities or hidden affection. The eyes of Mr. Sykes bore into her with disdain when she revealed even a small portion of the true compassion she still felt for her husband. His eyes made her feel like he was imagining her in a disgustingly licentious fantasy that she knew she never wanted to play out with him. His eyes were nothing like Todd's.
When Tea looked into Todd's eyes she felt like she never wanted to look away...never wanted to lose the connection that she felt pass between them through their eyes. Tea had a difficult time even looking Sykes in the eye, she often looked at the space between his eyes or at his eyebrows, always hoping he wouldn't notice...he never did. He was too caught up in himself to notice much of anything. He didn't notice the look of repulsion on her face the one time she had made the mistake of letting him put himself inside of her. He mistook her look of disgust for passion.
Actually, he never quite made it inside her. At just the moment she started to feel him enter she began to vomit uncontrollably. He quickly retreated, internally angry that he wasn't allowed to fulfill his needs, while outwardly showing concern for her.
Just the thought of that horrible experience makes Tea feel like vomiting again. Luckily, at the time, she was able to convince him that she must have had food poisoning...he believed her, never thinking that any woman could be repulsed at his presence. He had spent other nights with her but she always managed to fend him off...convincing him that she didn't feel well or was too tired or had to get up early. As long as she touched him until he orgasmed he didn't care if they had intercourse...as long as he was satisfied. Tea hated touching him but she did it...anything not to feel him inside her where he didn't belong.
Tea was greatly relieved when the mockery of a relationship she had with Sykes had finally ended. She was tired of dealing with his oversized ego, tired of the constant looks of disapproval every time she dared to think for herself and act on her own instincts, tired of his sexist comments, tired of him constantly flexing his arm muscles in front of her as if he thought his body turned her on...she was just tired.
Tea had been feeling good while watching Starr enjoying herself at the party but the thoughts of Sykes were making her feel sick and the thoughts of Todd made her feel lonely and unbearably empty. Tea decides it's time for her to leave. She doesn't want anyone to see her hiding in the shadow spying on her step-daughter. The last thing she wants tonight is interpersonal interaction of any kind. Tonight she just wants to be alone. She'll go back home and fantasize about Todd...that always makes her feel better even though it does make the loneliness more pronounced.
As Tea begins to leave she takes a last look at her beautiful step-daughter and smiles as she recalls the Halloween when the Mannings dressed as a pirate family, Todd hoarded the candy corn, her best friend Rachel had not jet become a murderer and was still in her life, Todd and Starr were still her family, she was still a defense attorney. Everything has changed so much in the span of two years. If only she could go back to that night two years ago and be in Todd's presence again, even if it were nothing but platonic it would be better than how things are now.
Tea moves toward a side door hidden from the party participants by the Halloween themed backdrop. She turns the corner and walks into the open doorway. She quickly stops as the image of the darkened passageway behind the scenery of the party comes into better view in her mind, like a photograph slowly develop in her brain. A person...on the other side of the passageway...a man...his body hidden behind the elaborate decorations just like she had been hiding... Tea turns and steps back into the room. She's actually surprised the image is still there...expecting it to have disappeared like so many such images had for her in the past months. This image didn't disappear. He stood there, completely still. She looks at the man, studying him. She follows his gaze through the scenery and into the party...Starr. He's watching Starr. His body... No, it can't be. Has he been here the whole time watching Starr while she did the same?
Tea squints in the darkness trying to get a better look at the man her eyes are glued to. He's wearing a mask...no costume...just a mask covering his face. In slow motion, or so it feels to Tea, the man raises the mask. Tea waits hoping...dreading...the identity of the person before her.
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He had been standing there for several minutes oblivious to anything but the image of the young girl across the room. She couldn't see him from his hiding place. It was better that way. He couldn't reveal himself. He couldn't risk the exposure, not with a room filled with people watching. So, he watched from the shadows. He smiled every time he saw her smile. She was so beautiful.
The mask he wore to hide his face was necessary. He couldn't chance anyone knowing his identity but it was uncomfortably constrictive and made his face perspire. Since he knew no one at the party could see him he raised the mask to wipe his brow. His eye suddenly catches a glimpse of movement in his peripheral vision. His head quickly snaps to the side prepared to run from danger if necessary. It takes a moment for his eyes to make out the person he is sharing the shadows with...Delgado.
How did she know where to find him? He had been so careful. She hadn't caught him any of the other times he had returned to town to be near Starr...or her. How did she catch him this time? What will she do? Will she alert others to his presence? Will she scream? Will she unleash her anger at him?
Their eyes meet. It's too dark and they're too far away from each other for them to actually see into the other person's eyes but they both know that their eyes are locked together. They both have looked into each other's eyes enough times to know exactly what those other pair of eyes must look like in this moment.
Neither blinks for fear of the other person disappearing when their eyes open again. They both stay utterly still for fear of what will happen if they move...breathe...think...
Suddenly, there's a loud noise from the other side of the scenery as a punch bowl accidentally crashes to the floor. Todd turns toward the party. Seeing that Starr is uninjured and laughing about the incident with her friends he turns back toward his ex-wife...she's gone.
Todd pulls the mask down over his face again and rushes after Tea. He doesn't know what he'll do, or say, when he catches up with her but he can't stop his body from going after her, trying to catch her before she gets away from him.
Tea runs from the building and around the corner. Within seconds she hears the door open and hurried footsteps. As the door slams shut again she peers around the corner of the building and sees him running toward the mass of parked cars at the side of the building.
He stops as he looks at the sea of cars before him wondering if she's hiding behind one of the cars or if she's still inside or maybe she ran around to the other side of the building. He waits, uncertain if he really wants to see, or speak to, her right now. When he hears her clear her throat behind him he knows he doesn't have a choice. Slowly he turns toward her.
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