| SMALL BLESSINGS BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 86 - 90 |
SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 86:
[Later, at the hospital...
Little Enrique is asleep when Todd and Tea arrive. Tea speaks to one of the nurses while Todd watches the young boy sleep.
Minutes later, the baby's eyes open and look directly at Todd's face. Todd alerts Tea that her nephew is awake.
Tea approaches and speaks to her nephew in Spanish, while the baby continues to stare at Todd. Both adults are surprised when the baby raises his arms toward Todd.]
Todd: When did he start doing that?
Tea: This is the first time.
Todd: You're kidding, right?
Tea: He hasn't done that for me yet. Go ahead and pick him up.
Todd: You can do it.
[Tea picks up her nephew as she coos to him in Spanish. She looks up and finds Todd staring at them with a strange look on his face.]
Tea: You don't have to stay.
Todd: If you don't want me here, I'll leave.
Tea: I don't want you here, Todd.
[Todd runs the fingers from both his hands through his hair.]
Todd: This sucks!
Tea: You knew that it would.
Todd: I didn't know it would be like this. I thought it would be different.
Tea: Starr came through her illness okay and so will this little one. I need you to believe that, if you're going to be a part of our lives.
Todd: He's a tough kid.
Tea: Yes, he is. But, he still needs a lot of love, just like Starr did. I know you. I know that you held her, and talked to her, and loved her through everything she had to endure while she was sick.
Todd: I'm not really good at that junk. Starr only put up with it because she had to. She didn't have a choice about it. She got stuck with me being her father.
Tea: She loves you because of who you are, not just because you're her father. We love you for the same reason.
Todd: Can we go back to you not saying stuff like that?
Tea: You advised me to keep my heart open.
Todd: I said for the kid. That doesn't mean that you have to keep shoving it on me.
Tea: I wasn't aware that I was shoving anything on you. I thought you wanted me to love you.
Todd: You know what I mean.
Tea: Actually, I don't. You were so strong when you were trying to convince me to allow my feelings for you to come out again. Now that I'm trying, you want me to go back to hiding them. You're a very confusing man.
Todd: You confuse the hell out of me, too.
Tea: Not on purpose, like you do to me.
Todd: I'm here, right? Just leave it at that.
Tea: I'll make a deal with you...
Todd: Do I need a lawyer?
Tea: I am a lawyer.
Todd: Exactly!
Tea: I'll try to repress my feelings for you...
Todd: Good!
Tea: ...only until Little E comes home. Then, we'll talk and decide if a future together is really what both of us want.
Todd: We already have a deal about that. We're getting hitched.
Tea: Not if it means I'll spend the rest of my life never hearing you tell me that you love me again.
Todd: You'd rather stay unhitched and spend the rest of your life pushing me away, just so I'll be forced to say a bunch of useless words to try to get you back?
Tea: The choice is yours. For now, we'll just focus on this little guy, okay?
Todd: Are you going to show me what to do...where to stick the needles?
Tea: Are you sure you want to learn that?
Todd: Do you trust me enough to leave him with me when you go out doing chick stuff?
Tea: Chick stuff?
Todd: Shopping...getting your hair done...shopping...
Tea: I don't go shopping that often, and you know it.
Todd: Whatever. Would you trust me?
Tea: I trust you. It's just that...
Todd: Do you trust your grandmother to do it?
[Todd knows from the look on Tea's face what her answer is.]
Todd: You're such a control freak, Delgado.
Tea: How many people did you trust with Starr?
Todd: Tons...
[Tea looks at him with disbelief.]
Todd: ...as long as I was around to keep an eye on them. Even if you'll never let me do it, I still need to know how, just in case.
Tea: If you really want to do something, you can be the one who changes his diapers.
Todd: If I agree to degrade myself and do that chick job once in a while, will you show me how to jab him with a needle?
Tea: You need to find a new way to refer to injecting his insulin.
Todd: You need to trust someone besides yourself to take care of the kid.
Tea: I do.
Todd: The nurses don't count. Their not moving in with us.
Tea: I'm rethinking your moving in with us.
Todd: Nice try, Delgado. I'm not spilling my guts in a public place.
Tea: Will you, when we're in private?
Todd: Not if you don't trust me enough to let me pierce the kid's flesh with a sharp object.
Tea: I'm still learning about much of this myself. The staff can teach you, while they teach me. Okay?
Todd: You're going to trust me enough to actually let me do it sometimes?
Tea: I always end up changing his diaper. I'm certain I'll be the one who always does this, too.
Todd: I'll do it...sometimes.
Tea: It's not easy.
Todd: Does he cry?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: That really loud cry?
Tea: Don't worry. This control freak will take care of it. I do agree that you should know how to do it, just in case.
Todd: How often do you have to do it?
Tea: I'll have to check his blood every few hours, at least in the beginning.
Todd: At night, too?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: I'll do the night shift. You can do that sleep thing you do.
Tea: You don't have to. I can do it.
Todd: You've always made a big deal about me trusting you. Maybe you should start doing that trust thing yourself.
Tea: This is different.
Todd: Because it's you having to trust me?
Tea: Because it's my nephew.
Todd: The same people are teaching both of us. Trust them to do a good enough job to make sure that neither of us screws things up.
Tea: I'll try and be less controlling about this, but you need to remember that this is my nephew, my responsibility. He is to me what Starr is to you. And, we both know what a control freak you are about your daughter.
Todd: And look how that turned out. Now she's a control freak, too. Do you want that for this kid?
Tea: I want him to be safe and healthy. I never want to have to rush him to the hospital again.
Todd: It will happen.
Tea: You need to think positively.
Todd: I don't know how to do that.
Tea: Try.
Todd: You were there after Starr got better. I still had to go through that hell again every time she didn't feel well, or had a fever, or whatever. It will be the same way with this kid. The hell isn't over yet. It will never be over. The disease he has will hang over everything for the rest of your life. You'll never forget about it. You'll never stop wondering about the bad junk that can happen, or what other diseases he could get. This is part of being his mom...the part that really sucks.
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 87:
[Two days later...
There are joyous smiles on the faces of Tea and her grandmother, while Todd tries not to overtly show his happiness, as Little Enrique returns home, after his stay in the hospital. The baby also smiles as he gleefully sits in his favorite swing again.
Tea's grandmother enters the kitchen to make dinner, leaving Todd and Tea alone in the living room with the baby.]
Todd: He's glad to be out of that hellhole.
Tea: I'm glad that he's home from the hospital, too. I missed him.
Todd: You spent practically every minute there with him.
Tea: I missed him here, where he belongs.
Todd: Do you think he belongs here with you now?
Tea: He belongs with his parents. Since that's not possible, this is his home now.
Todd: You're his mom now.
Tea: I'm his aunt.
Todd: Aunt...mom...the kid won't know the difference.
Tea: You do realize that, if we get married, you would be filling the same role, don't you?
Todd: I'm not being his mom, no matter how much I like the kid.
Tea: You'll be his uncle, and you'll be called upon to do the things that his father would have done. Are you ready for that?
Todd: I'm not new to this. I already have a kid. And, soon I'll have another one, after you pop our kid out.
[Tea's grandmother stares in shock, having just returned to the living room in time to hear Todd's statement about her granddaughter. Tea quickly assures her grandmother that Todd was joking. She moves to the kitchen with you grandmother, wanting to avoid having her ex-husband and grandmother in the same room as much as possible, to avoid anymore embarrassing moments.
The family survives dinner, with Todd remaining silent through much of the meal. Soon after dinner, Tea takes a sleepy Little Enrique to his bedroom and her grandmother retires to the master bedroom for the night. Todd is left alone, until Tea finally returns to the living room and finds him snacking on junk food. She joins him on the sofa.]
Tea: We just had dinner. You can't be hungry again already.
Todd: I don't know what the hell that stuff was but it looked weird. It tasted weird, too. I kept my mouth shut about it, which wasn't easy since I was close to puking the whole time I had to sit there and smell it, but now I need some decent food.
Tea: I thought it was delicious. My grandmother is a wonderful cook.
Todd: What was it? Raccoon? Squirrel? Skunk?
Tea: Never mind.
Todd: It was something gross, wasn't it?
Tea: We have some time to ourselves. Would you prefer to discuss dinner or something else...something more personal, perhaps?
Todd (lowering his voice): I thought we couldn't get personal until you get rid of your grandmother?
Tea: We could talk about our wedding.
[Todd grunts unpleasantly.]
Tea: Or, I could call off our wedding.
Todd: If you want to talk about our wedding, go ahead. I'll just stare at the TV and ignore all the chick talk.
Tea: Do you still want to get married?
Todd: There's a difference between being willing to get shackled to you again, and wanting to chat about it in excruciating detail.
Tea: Shouldn't we at least discuss a date?
Todd: Tomorrow! Discussion's over. Get me a beer!
Tea: Get your own. And, get me one too while you're up.
Todd: You're the chick.
Tea: I agreed to be your wife, not your servant.
Todd: Same thing.
Tea: Why did I think you had evolved during the time we were apart?
Todd: That's not my problem. You still haven't gotten my beer yet.
Tea: And, I won't be getting it. We'll be entering into an equal partnership, unlike our past, failed attempts at marriage.
Todd: You never did what I told you to do back then, either.
Tea: So, why were you so anxious to marry me again?
Todd: So I could get custody of my kid.
Tea: You already have legal custody of Starr.
Todd: In case something happens with that, I need you on my side.
Tea: You have me on your side. You have a better chance of keeping me there if you do something about your chauvinistic attitudes.
Todd: What chauvinistic attitudes?
[Tea smiles at him, enjoying their mutual teasing of each other.]
Tea: I noticed how happy you were earlier.
Todd: About what?
Tea: Our nephew coming home.
Todd: He's our nephew now?
Tea: After tomorrow, you'll officially be his uncle.
Todd: Tomorrow?
Tea: That's the date you wanted for our wedding, isn't it?
Todd: Don't you want all that chick stuff? Flowers? Food? That...you know...thing...you wear?
[Tea moves closer to him on the sofa and caresses his chest through his shirt.]
Tea: I still have my wedding gown from the last time we got married. I could wear it again.
Todd: Isn't that bad luck, or something? We'll just have to put this wedding thing off until you can find another one. It'll probably take you a really long time.
[Tea kisses his cheek as her hand moves down to his stomach.]
Tea: I don't care if I have to stand before you naked, I can't wait to be your wife again. I'm glad I only have to wait until tomorrow.
Todd: Delgado?
Tea: Yes, my love, my lover, my partner for life?
Todd: What the hell have you been drinking?
Tea: I've been drinking from the cup of love...and I'm still thirsty.
Todd: If your hand goes any lower, pretty soon you'll be on your knees drinking directly from the tap.
[Tea removes herself from his side and leans back against the arm of the sofa.]
Tea: I guess we'll have to call it a draw.
Todd: Now what are you talking about?
Tea: We were both trying to scare the other away and it didn't work.
Todd: I was just being myself.
Tea: I won't call off our wedding, Todd. Sorry to disappoint you.
Todd: You look wiped out, Delgado.
Tea: I am.
Todd: Kick your grandmother out of your bed and I'll help you sleep.
Tea: You could help me right here. I need to bring my alarm clock in here first, though.
Todd: I don't need it.
Tea: It's for me, not you.
Todd: I'm taking care of things at night, remember?
Tea: You're not comfortable injecting his insulin.
Todd: Are you?
Tea: I won't hand it off for someone else to do.
Todd: There were too many people staring at me at the hospital.
Tea: There was one nurse.
Todd: And, you. I saw the way you were looking at me. You expected me to screw it up.
Tea: I thought you might be too nervous about causing him discomfort.
Todd: Discomfort? The kid screamed when you shoved that needle into him.
[Todd regrets his words when he sees the pain and guilt on her face. He turns his body in her direction and places his hand on her leg.]
Todd: He needs us to shove needles in him. I get that. I just hate the idea of making him hurt.
Tea: We're saving his life. You have to think about it that way.
Todd: When he started crying, when he saw what I was about to do to him, I couldn't do it. There are only a couple of people on this whole worthless planet that actually like me and want me around them. It felt like I was about to lose one of those people.
Tea: He won't stop loving you if you test his blood, or inject his insulin, or anything else that you have to do because of his diabetes. Some day he'll love you even more for everything that you've done.
Todd: Is that what you're trying to convince yourself?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: How did you do it? The first time, how did you do it?
Tea: It took me several tries before I could do it that first time. But, I did do it, because I have to. You don't really have to, but I think you should.
Todd: You're going to stop being a control freak?
Tea: I'll be there watching the first few times.
Todd: After that, you'll stop being a control freak?
Tea: Probably not, but I'll try. I trust you. I know that if I weren't here, you would do it, no matter how difficult it was for you, because it's what he needs.
Todd: It still sucks!
Tea: I agree.
Todd: I'll do it. I'll do the whole thing. I'll check his blood, and give him the insulin, if he needs it. You can talk me through it. Just don't look at me like you're about to tackle me to the ground to keep me from needling your nephew.
Tea: I'll try not to. I really do trust you, Todd. I love you, too, not just for everything that you give to me, but for how wonderful and caring you are with my nephew...our nephew.
Todd: Enough talking.
Tea: What would you rather do instead?
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 88:
Todd: I can't do what I want to do until you kick your grandmother out.
Tea: She'll be leaving tomorrow. I should warn you, I may not be ready tomorrow for what you want.
Todd: Why?
Tea: So much has happened.
Todd: But, nothing's changed.
Tea: Everything has changed.
Todd: The kid's okay. We're okay. There's no reason why we shouldn't do what I want to do.
Tea: I want it, too.
Todd: I don't get you, Delgado. You want it, but you don't want it. Unless it's just me that you don't want it with.
Tea: It's only you that I want it with.
Todd: Is that a guarantee?
Tea: I have no interest in being with anyone but you.
Todd: That didn't stop you from using a Dick Head against me before.
Tea: I'm committed to you. I wasn't then.
Todd: That's a lame excuse.
Tea: It's the truth.
Todd: We were on a date. It's usually understood that when two people are on a date, one of them doesn't bail on the other just to go fuck some other guy.
[Tea blushes with embarrassment as her grandmother steps into the room, having picked this moment to seek a glass of water from the kitchen.
Todd sinks lower on the sofa, knowing that somehow he'll be blamed, not only for Tea's grandmother overhearing what he said, but also for what Tea did previously with Richard.
Despite her embarrassment, Tea joins her grandmother in the kitchen. She quickly realizes, to her relief, that her grandmother prefers to pretend she didn't hear what Todd said.
After Tea's grandmother again retires to the master bedroom, Tea joins Todd on the sofa again.]
Todd: I'm out of here.
Tea: It's okay.
Todd: I knew spending any time near your family would suck. I need to get out of here before she convinces you to stay clear of me.
Tea: She didn't want to discuss what she heard, but I doubt that she in any way blames you for what I did.
Todd: She'll find a way to dump all the blame on me. Everyone always does.
Tea: If she did, I would set her straight. We're both responsible.
Todd: No way! I wasn't there fucking that creep with you. That was your fault, not mine.
Tea: Let's not argue about this.
Todd: No problem. Just don't try telling me that it's my fault that you fucked some guy you damn well knew I never wanted you to fuck.
Tea: You knew I had previously had that kind of relationship with him.
Todd: I don't want to hear about it. Fucking anyone but me from now on is out of the question. Do you understand?
Tea: I don't appreciate being told what to do.
Todd: What are you going to do about it? Go door-to-door until you find some male slut to get your revenge on me with?
Tea: I don't want revenge on you. I just want you to stop treating me like I'm your property. You don't own me.
Todd: I will as soon as we get married again. Now we're definitely doing it tomorrow. No woman of mine is going to be left on the open market where any guy who wants her can have her.
Tea: If you don't stop your Neanderthal attitudes we won't be doing anything tomorrow...getting married, or having sex. Is that clear?
Todd: You already made it clear that you think you got lucky because the kid has a disease, so you can pretend you're too bummed to let me screw you anymore.
Tea: How dare you use my nephew's diabetes as part of your juvenile way of pushing me away because you're scared that we're getting too close.
Todd: Too close? Hardly! You're not into that, remember?
Tea: I'm trying. You're the one who's backing away this time.
Todd: You were just using your body against me a few minutes ago, trying to get rid of me.
Tea: Wait! What are we doing?
Todd: What we always do. Except, your grandmother's here so we can't fuck our brains out before one of us walks out on the other.
Tea: I don't want that.
Todd: The fucking our brains out part?
Tea: I don't want to break up this time.
Todd: Are you sure? Because, before the kid got sick, you didn't want me anywhere near you.
Tea: I wanted you near me. I just didn't feel able to handle all the emotions that being with you brings out in me.
Todd: Why the sudden change? Did Dick Head refuse to take you back?
Tea: This isn't about Richard, or any other man, and you know it. I was scared to be with you before. I'm still scared. I know I'll end up hurt and alone. But, when Little E got sick, I was so worried for him. I knew that something was wrong and then when they told me it was diabetes...
Todd: Let's get out of here. Your grandmother's here for the kid. We can get in my sports car and...
Tea: We can't run from this.
Todd: Not forever. But, we can take off for a few hours.
Tea: In a few hours, I have to be here to check his blood.
Todd: We'll be back in time for that.
Tea: Go back to Llanview. You can get away from everything that you don't want to face here. You can come back when you're ready.
Todd: You want me to go?
Tea: As long as you understand that our deal is mutual.
Todd: What deal?
Tea: Neither of us will be with anyone but each other.
Todd: You think there's anyone in Llanview worth fucking?
Tea: You have enjoyed yourself there before...sexually speaking.
Todd: That's true.
[Tea is hurt by his admission. Todd leans closer toward her.]
Todd: We've fucked in Llanview, remember?
[Tea smiles at him.]
Todd: Come with me, Delgado. I don't want to wait until tomorrow.
Tea: You want to...? Now? Where?
Todd: In my car...in a sleazy motel...I don't care. I just want to be with you. I hate knowing how lousy you feel.
Tea: Doing that wouldn't stop me from feeling lousy.
Todd: But, it would give you something else to feel lousy about, so you wouldn't have to feel as lousy about all this other junk.
Tea: It isn't lousy with you, Todd. It's breathtaking.
Todd: Give me a chance to take your breath away tonight. Let me try to take away your pain.
Tea: Sex isn't a cure for what's hurting me right now.
Todd: It isn't sex, Tea. I definitely want to do you, don't get me wrong. But, it's more than that. Say you'll come with me. We'll be back in a couple of hours. You have a cell phone, right? We'll bring it with us. Your grandmother can call if we need to come back. We won't go far. You need to get out of here.
Tea: What will I tell my grandmother?
Todd: Tell her you're going off to fuck me to make up for fucking that creep.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: She'll believe you, now that she knows what you did.
Tea: I'll go for a drive with you. There will be no fucking, okay? I think we need some time alone together.
Todd: Whatever.
Tea: You agree to just go for a drive?
Todd: If you can sit there and watch me drive while we're both completely naked without getting turned on and wanting to do anything then we won't do anything.
[Tea smiles and kisses him quickly on the lips before leaving the room to let her grandmother know that they're going out. Todd smirks, knowing that he'll get everything that he wants, because he's certain Tea wants the same things.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 89:
[Minutes later...
Todd and Tea are in his car. Todd quickly drives away from her house.
Several blocks later...]
Tea: Stop here.
Todd: You want your neighbors to see us?
Tea: We won't be doing anything that it wouldn't be okay for the neighbors to see.
Todd: I don't know your neighbors, and I don't want to, but I also don't want them watching me do you.
Tea: You won't be doing me.
Todd: Oh, right...making love. Whatever you call it, it feels the same.
Tea: Not for me, it doesn't. We won't be doing either activity in your car tonight, anyway.
Todd: We could have done it at your house but you refuse to kick your grandmother out so we can seal our engagement in the traditional way.
Tea: We never sealed any of our other engagements that way.
Todd: We were doing the non-traditional thing back then. Now, we're going to be a typical, boring, bland, suburban married couple, with a couple of kids.
Tea: I can't picture you enjoying suburbia, Todd.
Todd: You're the one who's forcing me to live out here in middle class hell.
Tea: I can't move back to Llanview.
Todd: What do you really have against Llanview? It's were you met me, after all. Oh, now I get it.
Tea: I do have some fond memories of my time there. And, most of those fond memories do happen to include you. But, I don't like who I became when I was there. I didn't like the way people treated me at times. And, I hated the way they treated you.
Todd: People hate my guts wherever I go.
Tea: It doesn't have to be that way. We can both start over here...or, somewhere else if this isn't the right place for us. I know you want to be near Starr. We could move closer.
Todd: I need to get away from there, too. So does Starr. I might have a hard time convincing her, though.
Tea: You have more family in Llanview than just Starr.
Todd: She's the only one that doesn't totally hate my guts.
Tea: What about Jessica? She's always adored you.
Todd: Not anymore.
Tea: What did you do?
Todd: Why do you assume I did something to deserve her hatred?
Tea: I can't believe that your niece could ever hate you. She's one of the few people you allow yourself to be loving with.
Todd: Apparently it's not loving to make the little creep pay who got her drunk and knocked her up.
Tea: You did something to Will? Is that why there's friction between you and Sam?
Todd: I don't remember telling you there was friction between me and that sell-out shyster.
Tea: You said that he was representing Blair in your custody case. Is it because you did something to his son?
Todd: He isn't her lawyer anymore, or he wasn't, but I guess he probably is again.
Tea: I don't understand.
Todd: Blair dropped the case.
Tea: When you reunited with her?
Todd: I didn't reunite with her, not the way I'll be reuniting with you, as soon as I get you into the back seat.
Tea: We can wait until tomorrow.
Todd: Maybe you can, but I'm a guy.
Tea: Do you expect us to have sex every day?
Todd: Not during the time when we can't because you popped out another one of our kids.
Tea: I'm still amazed that you suddenly want so much sex.
Todd: Suddenly? Do you have any idea what it was like for me all that time I was trying to protect you.
Tea: I didn't need protection from you. I certainly didn't want that.
Todd: I didn't want you to end up hating me, like everyone else always does. I wanted you to stick around.
Tea: Is that why you threw me out on a regular basis?
Todd: But, you came back. I knew you wouldn't have if I had unleashed that part of myself on you.
Tea: Obviously you were wrong. I'm still coming back to you after you push me away.
Todd: You're the one who's been doing the pushing this time.
Tea: Only because you've been relatively open with your feelings, instead of keeping me at the distance you always tried to keep me at in the past. Why is that?
Todd: You know why.
Tea: Not really. I still don't understand what's different this time...why you suddenly want me in your life.
Todd: It's not sudden.
Tea: That's how it feels. I was surprised when you reappeared in my life again months ago. I'm surprised that you're here again, despite everything that's happened between us during the last couple of months.
Todd: You know exactly why I'm here. It's the same reason you called me when you found out the kid was sick.
Tea: I knew you cared about him. I thought you'd want to know.
Todd: You realized that you didn't want to go through hell without me anymore.
Tea: Is that why you're here? You want to go through hell with me?
Todd: I've been in hell since the second I was born. I wanted to keep you far away from the agony that you'll get from being around me.
Tea: Then, why are you here?
Todd: I know things were screwed up for you when you were a kid, but it's not the same. You may have thought that was the worst life could ever get. After spending time with me, you know it isn't.
Tea: Spending time away from you is worse than anything else.
Todd: That's why I'm here. I figured it out. It sucks less when we're together than when we're not. Before, I thought it was only that way for me. Now I know it's that way for you, too.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Are you ready for me to stop so we can get in the back seat?
Tea: I'm ready for you to turn around and go back.
Todd: Your grandmother will call us if anything's wrong with the kid.
Tea: I need to be there.
Todd: You need what I can give you.
Tea: We'll make love again, just not tonight, okay? It's Little E's first night home.
Todd: You have to let the kid have some space sometimes.
Tea: Not tonight.
Todd: We can't go back yet, anyway.
Tea: Why not?
Todd: Your grandmother knows that we split so I could do you. I don't want her thinking that I'm only good for a few minutes.
Tea: Why would you care what she thinks?
Todd: I have my reasons.
Tea: Besides, I told her that we needed some privacy so we could talk through some issues.
Todd: She's a smart broad. She knows you only agreed to leave with me because I wanted to fuck you again.
Tea: She doesn't even know that we've been enjoying each other...that way.
Todd: Trust me, she knows.
Tea: You couldn't possibly have told her that, too. Did you?
Todd: Earlier today, when you were doing that blubbering thing with those chicks at the hospital...
Tea: Those chicks helped save Little E's life.
Todd: Whatever! That old broad of yours...
Tea: My grandmother...
Todd: Whatever! She let me have it.
Tea: What did she say?
Todd: She told me that if I hurt you this time, she'd cut my thing off so I could never get off putting it inside you again.
Tea: She did not! Did she?
Todd: Maybe she didn't say that exactly, but I know that's what she meant.
Tea: What did she actually say?
Todd: She said that if I hurt you again, I would regret it.
Tea: Maybe she was referring to the personal regret you would feel if we lost this chance together.
Todd: I think she was talking about me losing my thing. So, when we get back, even if you hated every second of it, smile and pretend you liked it.
Tea: We're not doing it. Now, turn around and go back.
[Todd drives into the deserted parking lot of the local library and parks the car.]
Tea: We're not doing it here.
Todd: You want to do it somewhere else?
Tea: We're not doing this at all...anywhere.
Todd: I'm just going to comfort you.
Tea: We could do that at home.
Todd: I don't want anyone seeing me doing that comforting thing.
Tea: We're in public right now.
Todd: It's dark out. No one's around. Besides, the windows are tinted. No one will see anything.
Tea: Why did we have to drive this far?
Todd: I didn't want your nosy neighbors calling the cops on us.
Tea: Why would they call the police?
Todd: People in suburban hell do that when they spot a car rocking in front of their house.
Tea: This car will not be rocking. We are not doing it.
[Todd awkwardly climbs into the back seat.]
Tea: I'm not coming back there.
Todd: Don't you want me to comfort you?
Tea: Not your kind of comforting.
Todd: I can do your kind of comforting instead, if you like that better.
Tea: That's all it would be? We would comfort each other for a few minutes and then go home?
Todd: I can go longer than a few minutes.
Tea: We're not having sex.
Todd: Whatever you want, Delgado.
Tea: Why do I doubt you mean that?
Todd: I won't force you. I'll only do what you want me to do.
Tea: This isn't the right time.
Todd: This isn't the right time for comfort?
Tea: I know you. I know what you really have planned if I join you back there.
Todd: I won't do anything that you don't want me to do.
Tea: Just because we want something, doesn't mean that it's the right time for it. We should go home, before something happens that we regret.
Todd: I won't regret anything that happens in this car tonight.
Tea: I know I will.
[Despite her concerns, Tea climbs into the back seat, feeling unprepared for whatever may occur.]
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 90:
[Tea tries to settle into the back seat of Todd's sports car.]
Tea: It's a good thing we're not doing it back here. It's not very comfortable.
Todd: I don't have any complaints.
Tea: Of course not. You wouldn't be the one pushed into the uncomfortable seat.
Todd: You want to trade places tonight?
Tea: Would you be okay with that? Wait! Don't answer that. It's irrelevant...for tonight. We're not doing it.
Todd: Whatever you want.
[An awkward silence fills the interior of the vehicle. Tea waits for Todd to do whatever he has planned. He does nothing.]
Tea: We don't have much time, remember?
Todd: We have at least a couple more hours before we have to get back.
Tea: How long were you planning on this taking?
Todd: That depends on what you want.
Tea: I think the expedited version would be best.
Todd: What does that mean?
Tea: It means we shouldn't waste the brief time we have.
Todd: Two hours is brief...for comforting? I'd say that's a full tour through hell.
Tea: Are you going to comfort me?
Todd: That's why we're here, right?
Tea: But, you haven't done anything yet.
Todd: I thought you liked just being around me?
Tea: I do. I also like when you hold me.
Todd: Naked?
Tea: Actually, I do like that, too...
[Todd quickly removes his jacket.]
Tea: Wait! I wasn't saying... Nothing has changed. I'm still not ready to do that right now.
Todd: I don't get it. Why do you need to get ready for it? Is it that bad? You need time to get yourself revved up for it?
Tea: Things are complicated right now. I need some time to deal with everything before...
Todd: Before...what? Before you can bear to let the monster touch you again?
Tea: I want you to touch me. I definitely want...
[Tea stops speaking as Todd suddenly lunges toward her. He pulls her body into his arms and holds her tightly against him.]
Tea: Todd...
Todd: I know what you want, Delgado.
[Todd pulls away from her and returns to his side of the car. He quickly pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it into the front seat. He then turns his body in her direction, reclining across the seat as much as he can with Tea blocking the path for his legs.]
Tea: This isn't the right time, or the right place.
Todd: It's never the right time for this kind of thing.
Tea: I don't know about that. Our wedding night would certainly be the right time.
Todd: No way. I'm not wasting that night doing this junk.
Tea: What?
Todd: It's the one night I'm allowed to expect you to let me do you, instead of all this other garbage you keep pushing on me, and it's the one time you have to smile and pretend you like it.
[Tea smiles and her voice softens as her hand caresses his bare stomach.]
Tea: I do like it. You can make me feel really good, Todd.
Todd: Most of the time I make you feel lousy.
Tea: It doesn't have to be that way.
Todd: I'm trying. Get on top of me.
Tea: Todd...
[Tea is uncertain if she should allow this to continue. She wants to be with him again. It's been a long, frustrating month without him. She wants to feel him inside her again. She wants to feel his skin against hers. She wants to feel the strength and gentleness in his touch. She wants him to take her to ecstasy and make her forget, for a brief time, everything else that's been so painful for her.]
Todd: Come on, Tea. It will be more comfortable if you get on top.
Tea: I'm just not ready.
Todd: For what?
Tea: For this. For...making love.
[Todd laughs loudly, angering Tea.]
Tea: What's so funny?
Todd: You thought I wanted you to climb on and ride my pogo stick?
Tea: It was a reasonable assumption, given how you've been acting. And, stop laughing at me, or this is over and we're going home.
Todd: For a chick who doesn't want to get fucked tonight, you're sure thinking about that a lot.
Tea: You've been talking about it so much, what was I suppose to think you were suggesting? That I cuddle up to you? Todd Manning does not cuddle.
Todd: Damn right he doesn't...not with anyone but you.
Tea: You're serious? That's what you want?
Todd: I want to fuck you. If I can't comfort you the normal way, I'll do it the other way.
[Tea starts to move her body to reposition herself on top of him.]
Todd: Unbutton your shirt first.
Tea: I knew you were playing games with me.
Todd: I said I'd give you want you wanted. For me to do that, I have to be able to get under your shirt.
Tea: Just so you understand that we are not going all the way.
Todd: Been there...done that...ended up with a headache.
[Tea gives him a puzzled look as she complies with his request and unbuttons the front of her shirt.]
Todd: You know...when you fuck a chick in the back seat, sometimes you get carried away and slam your head against the window, or whatever else gets in the way. The worst, though, is when she's moving around and kicks you down there, so watch where you're putting your foot, unless you're going to do something enjoyable.
Tea: I'm not doing anything down there tonight.
[Tea awkwardly tries to climb on top of him as he moves one of his legs to the back of the seat so she can position herself with her legs between his. When they finally settle themselves, Tea's chest is pressing down on his as her head rests near his shoulder.
Todd places his arms around her body and lightly caresses her back through the material of her blouse.]
Tea: So, you've made love in a car before?
Todd: No...I fucked in a car.
Tea: Was it recently?
Todd: Like, when I was back in Llanview?
Tea: Your private life is your business. You'll need to...uh...suit up...if you didn't with...whomever.
Todd: I already told you what I wasn't doing with my ex. How do I know you haven't been letting some creep bang away at you this last month and that's why you're too exhausted to let me do you?
[Tea rests her arms on his chest as she raises her face to look at him.]
Tea: If it weren't for the timing, and the location, I would show you just how low my exhaustion level is right now.
Todd: Is that your way of saying you're hot for some?
Tea: Not tonight. Not in the back of your car.
Todd: Why? Bad memories?
Tea: I have never done anything in the back of some guy's car.
Todd: Not even in high school?
Tea: Most of the boys I dated in high school didn't have cars.
Todd: What'd they do...fuck you on the subway?
[Tea looks away.]
Todd: You let a bunch of strangers watch? You didn't do the strangers, too, did you?
Tea: Of course not. I didn't do anyone on the subway.
Todd: You did something. I know that much now.
Tea: Just some basic making out, nothing serious.
Todd: What exactly did you do?
Tea: If I tell you, will you tell me what you've done in the back seats of cars?
Todd: No.
Tea: That's not fair.
Todd: So? Spill it!
Tea: I did some kissing.
Todd: That's all?
Tea: Well...necking...I suppose.
Todd: And?
Tea: And, I made sure that my dates knew that if they pushed it any further they'd be on their own from then on because our date would be over.
Todd: So, you were a tease?
Tea: I wasn't an exhibitionist. There's a difference.
Todd: I bet those guys didn't think so.
Tea: The guys who wanted to see me again understood.
Todd: They only pretended they did so they could get you somewhere private where you wouldn't have that excuse anymore.
Tea: Men!
Todd: You shouldn't be getting the big guy downstairs excited, if you don't want him to come up and play with you.
Tea: Like I said...men!
[Tea repositions herself to allow for a more comfortable position. She moves her body slightly lower, sending a thrill through Todd's body from the unintended stimulation that results. She lowers her head to his chest and places a quick kiss on his flesh before resting her cheek against him, savoring the feeling of being physically close to him again.]
Todd: Tell me you want it.
Tea: We're not doing it.
Todd: Just tell me.
Tea: I want it.
Todd: Take your pants off.
Tea: Very funny!
Todd: You think I'm kidding?
[There's silence for several seconds before Tea responds. When she does, there is an overwhelming sadness in her voice.]
Tea: I've missed you so much.
[The pain that he knows she's feeling slices through him. His hands move under her shirt and caress her bare back.]
Todd: Do you remember when we ditched Llanview together and you were always ready to split on me again?
Tea: Because you kept insulting me, every time we would start to get closer.
Todd: That was my way of saying I missed you...and that I hated the fact that you let other guys do you.
Tea: I decide what I do, and with whom. We weren't together, I had every right to do as I pleased.
Todd: You pleased yourself a lot, I bet.
[Tea tries to sit up. Todd holds on to her, determined not to allow his anger, or jealousy, to ruin things between them anymore.]
Todd: Every time you'd get really ticked off, and you'd start giving me that look like you were about to split, I'd find a way to touch you.
[Todd's hands again resume rubbing her back. She sighs a familiar sigh and settles back into her position on top of him, her head again resting on his chest.]
Todd: You'd never split on me, as long as I could get my hands on you. It wasn't easy finding ways to touch you without you figuring out that's what I was doing. But, it worked. I'd touch you and you'd cave and stick around. If I hadn't figured out your weakness, we never would have had all that time together.
Tea: It wasn't that much time.
Todd: But, it wouldn't have been more than the first hour if I hadn't touched you and realized that my touch is your weakness.
Tea: You could have stopped insulting me.
Todd: Then I would have had to stop touching you.
Tea: That's mixed up logic, Mr. Manning.
Todd: I wasn't ready for all the other stuff then. If I had stopped saying that stuff to you, you would have expected me to fuck you right there on the floor of Viki's cabin.
Tea: We could have moved to one of the bedrooms.
Todd: I knew that was what you wanted.
Tea: Why is it different this time?
Todd: I'm different.
Tea: I noticed that.
Todd: So are you.
Tea: I'm more of a challenge.
Todd: You think that gets me off?
Tea: Maybe it does.
Todd: I could assume the same thing about you. Maybe you were so hot for me before because I kept you at a distance. Maybe the reason you're not anymore is because I'm being a sap and letting you know that I want this thing with you.
Tea: It's not that simple.
Todd: Nothing is simple with you. All I know is that the whole time we were gone together, the only time you followed through on splitting on me was the one time I didn't touch you after ticking you off. I'll never screw up like that again. I'll never stop touching you.
to be continued...
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
2001 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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