| SMALL BLESSINGS BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 36 - 40 |
SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 36:
[Hours later...
Tea and Todd are sitting in a small restaurant, after dropping her nephew off at her grandmother's.]
Tea: I miss him.
Todd: Dick Head?
Tea: My nephew.
Todd: I thought maybe being out on a date with me was reminding you of a certain Dick Head.
Tea: You will never stop saying his name, will you?
Todd: You'll never stop thinking about Dick Head, or wishing you were with Dick Head.
Tea: I would be able to forget him more easily if you would just stop saying his name.
Todd: Does he know you're through?
Tea: I haven't spoken to him yet.
Todd: What are you waiting for?
Tea: I was with you until late last night. You showed up at my apartment early this morning. I haven't had time to call him yet.
[Todd takes out his cell phone and places it on the table in front of Tea.]
Todd: Go ahead.
Tea: I'll do it another time, when I have some privacy.
Todd: You're lying, aren't you?
Tea: I thought you had ways of knowing when I'm lying.
Todd: I do.
Tea: Then, you tell me...am I lying?
Todd: Maybe you're better at it than you used to be. Have you been taking Blair's course?
Tea: This is supposed to be a date, isn't it? Let's not talk about anyone from my past, or anyone from your past. Okay?
Todd: But, Dick Head is still in your present, if you haven't kicked him to the curb yet.
Tea: Blair's a part of your present, too. You don't see me obsessing over it.
Todd: That's different.
Tea: Not really.
Todd: You're jealous of Blair?
Tea: I don't know if jealous is the right word.
Todd: Then it's not the same thing. Call Dick Head. Or, give me his number and I'll call him.
Tea: Could we just focus on having a nice evening together?
Todd: Not when I know all you can think about is Dick Head.
[Tea is embarrassed as their waiter arrives at their table and clearly hears what Todd just said. After serving their food, the waiter leaves.]
Tea: Please, if you must obsess about this, at least call him Richard.
Todd: I call a Dick Head a Dick Head. If you don't like that, too bad. No chick of mine is going to humiliate me by pine away over some Dick Head ever again.
[Tea looks at Todd seriously for a moment before calmly gathering her purse and leaving the table.
Todd watches her walk across the restaurant. It isn't until she walks passed the rest rooms and toward the exit that he bolts from the table and rushes after her.
Outside the restaurant, he watches her rush down the street.]
Todd: Delgado?
[Tea doesn't look back as she continues walking away from him at a fast pace. An employee from the restaurant approaches Todd demanding payment for their meal. Todd returns to the restaurant and eats his meal. He then proceeds to eat Tea's meal, too.
Hours later...
Tea returns to her apartment building. As she's about to enter, she looks toward the park across the street and is surprised to see Todd. She rushes across the street as he quickly walks away from her.]
Tea: Todd, wait!
[Todd keeps moving.]
Tea: Please, Todd. Let me explain.
[Todd stops and turns toward her. She approaches him until she's standing directly in front of him. He notices the obvious signs of guilt on her face and in her body language.]
Todd: Did you fuck him?
Tea: Yes. I'm sorry.
Todd: Why are you apologizing to me? If he's a lousy fuck talk to him about it. I don't give a fuck.
[Todd turns and walks away from her again.]
Tea: I'm really sorry, Todd.
[Todd can hear the pain in her voice, but the pain in his own heart pushes away any thoughts he has of stopping his escape from her.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 37:
[Several days later...
Tea stands outside the office of the publisher of the Sun newspaper. She takes several deep breathes before approaching the door of her ex-husband's office. Finally, she builds up her courage and knocks on his door.]
Todd: Go away!
[Tea opens the door and steps into the office. She finds Todd standing at the window, staring into the darkened night.]
Tea: Todd?
[Todd turns quickly in her direction, startled by her voice.]
Todd: Oh, it's you. In that case, don't just go away...go to hell!
Tea: I came to apologize.
Todd: Apology not accepted. Get the hell out of my office before I have one of those security goons toss you out. I'm firing them all anyway for letting the trash in here.
Tea: Don't make this worse.
Todd: How much worse can it get?
Tea: Are you ready to calmly discuss this?
Todd: I don't calmly discuss it when I'm on a date with someone and she takes off on me to go fuck some other guy. I bought your dinner. I'm the one that you owed the fuck to. Or, did you forget the rules of dating?
Tea: I didn't owe you a fuck. Let's just get that straight, first. I do owe you an explanation. Since you wouldn't take my phone calls, I had to come and try to talk to you, even though I never wanted to come back to this town again. It was important to me that you understand what happened.
Todd: I understand all about fucking. My dad taught me plenty when I was a kid. So, unless you plan on demonstrating, using my body fucking yours, you can just go and fuck off.
Tea: You want to fuck me?
Todd: Not really. But there's no one else here for me to get my nuts off with. If I had to settle for you, I could.
Tea: I want to talk, Todd.
Todd: I don't. Either get your clothes off and assume the fucking position, or get out.
[Tea stares at Todd for several moments, uncertain if she should continue to try to explain herself to him.]
Todd: Do you need to check out my equipment first, to make sure it's up to your standards?
Tea: I want to talk.
Todd: I don't care about anything that you have to say.
Tea: I was upset.
Todd: If you were upset by the fucking you got, take it up with the Dick Head you fucked, because we both know it sure as fuck wasn't me.
Tea: I thought that you were using me because Blair chose Max, over you. I still think that.
Todd: I don't give a fuck what you think.
Tea: Am I wrong?
[Todd steps behind his desk and sits down. His face is completely calm as he looks up at Tea, standing in front of his desk.]
Todd: Blair's not with Max anymore.
[Todd smiles as he enjoys the pain he's about to inflict.]
Todd: Want to guess who the lucky fucker is who she's fucking now?
[Tea doesn't outwardly give him the reaction he was hoping for.]
Tea: If it's you, you must not be very satisfied, if you're here this late at night trying to fuck me.
Todd: I have no intention of fucking you.
Tea: You just offered, in your own way.
Todd: It was an offer that I knew you wouldn't have the guts to take me up on. Go back to your Dick Head.
Tea: I told him that it's over between us.
Todd: Then go back to whoever else you're fucking. Stop fucking with me.
Tea: There are no men in my life anymore.
Todd: Did something happen to the kid?
Tea: He's fine. Of course he's still in my life. I was referring to dating.
Todd: You ditched him with your grandmother to come all this way?
Tea: Actually, I brought him with me. He's at Carlotta's right now. Would you like to come with me and see him?
Todd: It's better if I don't.
Tea: For whom?
Todd: You don't want to be around me right now, Delgado.
Tea: Yes, I do. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I wanted to, I'll admit that. I hate myself for doing that to you, though. If you never want to be with me again because of what I did, I'll understand. I would like to still have you in my life. Can you forgive me enough to try to at least be friends?
[Todd stands up and walks around his desk. He pretends to look at a stack of papers on a nearby table.]
Todd: I have so many friends. I don't know if I have time for more right now.
Tea: What about Little Enrique?
Todd: The kid doesn't care about me.
Tea: You don't look very happy, Todd. If you are back with Blair, why is that?
Todd: Do you need to ask?
Tea: Are you back with her?
Todd: She wants it. Starr wants it. What choice do I have? Are you giving me a choice?
Tea: No.
Todd (angrily): Then, get the hell out.
Tea: I wouldn't do that, Todd. I wouldn't take you away from your family. I know that's where you've always wanted to be. I was always your second choice. Work things out for your family. Be happy. That's all that I've ever wanted for you.
[Tea walks passed Todd, toward the doorway.]
Todd: Delgado?
[Tea stops and turns back toward him.]
Todd: Can I see the kid?
Tea: Of course. Call me. We'll work something out.
Todd: I meant, right now.
Tea: You should go home. Your family's waiting for you.
Todd: Starr refuses to have anything to do with me, unless I do what she wants me to do.
Tea: She wants you to get back with Blair?
Todd: She actually thinks that we can get hitched and fake all that feelings junk again. It's not as easy as she thinks it is. It didn't work the last time we tried faking it.
Tea: Do you think spending a little time with my nephew would help you feel better tonight?
Todd: It couldn't possibly make things any worse than they already are. Even if the kid puked on me, he couldn't make it any worse.
Tea: Let's go.
[Together Todd and Tea leave his office.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 38:
[At Carlotta's house...
Tea uses her key to let herself in. Carlotta is sitting on a chair in the living room, watching television, while the baby sleeps nearby. She smiles as Tea enters. Her smile quickly disappears as Todd enter her home. Tea notices the disapproving look on Carlotta's face. So does Todd...it makes him smile.]
Tea: Todd came to see the baby.
Carlotta: He's sleeping. It's late. This isn't the time for him to have visitors.
[Todd walks over to the playpen the baby is sleeping in and picks him up.]
Carlotta: You'll wake him!
Tea: It's okay. Little Enrique likes it when Todd holds him.
Carlotta: A sensitive person would not wake a sleeping baby.
Todd: A sensitive person would leave the room when no one wants her around.
[Tea leads an angry Carlotta into the kitchen.]
Carlotta: How could you bring that man into my house?
Tea: He wanted to see the baby.
Carlotta: He shouldn't be allowed to be anywhere near that sweet child.
Tea: Todd cares about him. He needs to spend some time with him right now.
Carlotta: After everything he's put you through...
Tea: I've put him through a lot, too. Right now, I'm just glad that he's willing to speak to me.
Carlotta: You should have kept your life separate from that man. He never did anything but cause you a great deal of pain.
Tea: We've hurt each other. If we can somehow manage to share our lives in some way, I want that.
Carlotta: You're not thinking of marrying him again, are you?
Tea: I think he'll be marrying Blair again, not me.
Carlotta: Good! Let that woman deal with that man. They deserve the misery that each will bring to the other. You need to find someone who will love you and that baby boy out there. You don't need the anguish that Todd Manning has always brought to your life.
Tea: I think I may just give up on dating and focus on raising my nephew, for a while. Relationships never work out for me, anyway. I don't want to bring men into his life only to have them leave soon after.
Carlotta: So, this is the last time that man out there will ever touch that child again?
Tea: He won't hurt him. He'll be a part of Little E's life for as long as he wants to be. When he marries Blair again, though, I doubt she'll allow him to have anything to do with me, unless he visits Little E, without her knowing.
Carlotta: You're not thinking of becoming his mistress, are you?
Tea: Mistress? Todd? I don't think so.
Carlotta: I don't trust that man. Not with you. And, not with that precious baby.
[Carlotta returns to the living room, followed closely by Tea.
They find Todd lying on the sofa, his eyes closed, with Little E sleeping on this chest.
Tea smiles at the sweet image before her. Carlotta shakes her head, not believing what Tea is getting herself involved in again.
Tea looks toward Carlotta and notices her disapproving look. She places her arm around her surrogate mother and hugs her.]
Tea: You must be tired. I can handle things down here. Thank you for taking care of the baby, and for letting us stay here.
Carlotta: I would do anything for you, and that child, you know that. I just hope you know what you're doing.
Tea: Trust me.
[Carlotta embraces Tea and then goes upstairs. Tea sits in a chair near the sofa.]
Tea: She's gone now. You can open your eyes.
[Todd opens his eyes and looks at his ex-wife.]
Todd: She doesn't trust you.
Tea: It's you that she doesn't trust.
Todd: What have I ever done to her?
Tea: You hurt me.
Todd: Does she know what you did to me?
Tea: I haven't given her the details.
Todd: Grab the kid. I'll go up and get her so you can tell her.
Tea: Do you really want her back down here again?
Todd: You must really feel lousy for what you did, if you don't want everyone knowing.
Tea: I do feel lousy.
Todd: Maybe it's better if that broad doesn't know. She'd just find a way to blame it on me, anyway.
Tea: Probably.
[Several minutes of silence pass between them.]
Todd: Delgado, what am I supposed to do?
Tea: I don't know. That's your decision.
Todd: No matter what I do, I'm screwing things up for somebody.
Tea: Maybe you should decide what you want to do for yourself.
Todd: I don't matter.
Tea: Of course you do.
Todd: Since when?
Tea: Since always.
Todd: You're saying I should be a selfish S.O.B.?
Tea: That's not exactly what I meant.
Todd: I know what I would do if it didn't matter to anyone else what I did.
Tea: What's that?
[Todd refuses eye contact with Tea while he answers her question.]
Todd: I'd do you.
[Tea is stunned. She hadn't expected Todd's response.]
Todd: You never wanted it, though.
[Tea is hesitant to continue where their conversation seems to be leading, but she doesn't want him to have false beliefs about her desire for him.]
Tea: That's not true.
Todd: I gave you a bunch of chances. You weren't interested.
Tea: I never said that.
Todd: That's what I heard.
Tea: That was never what I said, or what I felt.
Todd: You'll come back to the penthouse with me tonight?
Tea: I don't think that would be a good idea.
Todd: That's what I thought.
[Todd carefully sits up, trying not to wake the baby. When he stands up he hands the baby to Tea and walks toward the front door.]
Tea: Todd, wait.
[Tea places the baby in the play pen and waits a moment to ensure that he doesn't wake up. She then nervously approaches Todd. They share eye contact as Tea reaches her hand out and takes his hand in hers. They stand near the door, holding hands, for what feels like a long time, neither making any other movement toward what they both want.
Finally, Todd's the one who makes the next move. He leans closer to her and, for the first time in a very long time, he places his lips on hers.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 39:
[As he pulls away from their tender kiss, Todd looks deeply into Tea's eyes.]
Todd: Upstairs?
[Tea gestures to the side. Todd looks in the direction she gestured and sees the guest bedroom so close to where they're standing. When he looks back at her, he tightens his hand around hers.]
Todd: Sure?
[Tea also tighten her grip on his hand.]
Tea: Sure.
[They stare at each other for several seconds more before Todd slowly turns from her and moves toward the guest bedroom, with Tea following behind him, their hands still clasped together.
After they both enter the bedroom, Todd closes the door and locks it.]
Todd: I didn't lock it to keep you in here. It's to keep everyone else out. If you want out, just say so.
Tea: I don't want out.
Todd: You're sure?
Tea: I'm positive.
[Tea steps into his personal space and hugs him. Todd allows her hug for a few seconds before stepping away from her. He moves to the window and pulls aside the drape to look at the view.
Tea senses his nervousness and is relieved that she's not the only one who's nervous. She approaches him and caresses his back through his jacket.
Todd quickly responds to her touch by turning in her direction, grabbing her in an embrace and kissing her passionately. Tea responds to his kiss.
For several minutes they satisfy themselves with kisses. When Tea finally pulls away from him and moves toward the bed, Todd removes his jacket and tosses it on the floor.
Tea sits on the edge of the bed, expecting Todd to join her. He doesn't. He continues to stand in the same spot, uncertain what he should do next.]
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Are you ready?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: You don't need to do anything?
Tea: No. Do you need...something?
Todd: Instructions?
Tea: I meant, do you need a...condom?
Todd: A what?
Tea: I'm sorry. Did I assume wrong?
Todd: That I'd give you some disgusting disease?
Tea: You've been with other people. I've been with other people.
Todd: Don't remind me.
Tea: Do you have one? Do you need me to give you one?
Todd: I bet you buy them in bulk.
Tea: Never mind. This was a stupid idea. I should have known this would be no different than before. We get this close and the insults come out.
Todd: I have even more to insult now.
Tea: I have no desire to hear it. If that's all you can offer this time, too, you can leave right now.
Todd: Where do you keep them?
Tea: My purse.
Todd: Did you bring it in here with you?
Tea: Actually, I didn't. I'll be right back.
[Tea rushes to the door. She quickly finds her purse in the living room and, after another quick check to make sure her nephew is still sleeping comfortably, she rushes back toward the bedroom.
She's surprised to find Todd standing in the doorway. She enters the room. He closes the door behind her and locks it again.
Tea places her purse on a nearby dresser and reaches into it, feeling around for a condom.]
Tea (relief in her voice): Found one.
Todd: Just one?
Tea: I think I have a few others, if we need them.
[Tea hands the condom to Todd and returns to sitting on the bed.]
Todd: So, how do you want to do this?
Tea: What do you mean?
Todd: You're the chick. What do you want?
Tea: Whatever you want.
Todd: Seriously, what do you want?
Tea: We could start by kissing again.
Todd: Sure...whatever...
[Todd sits down next to her on the bed and leans toward her. Their lips touch in an obviously nervous kiss.
Minutes later, they're still kissing when Tea places her hand on his cheek and pulls slightly away from him.]
Tea: Would you like to lie down?
Todd: Whatever.
[Todd moves to the other side of the bed and they both lay their bodies out on the bed. As Tea turns to face him, Todd puts his arm around her and pulls her body tightly against his.]
Todd: Top or bottom?
Tea: Uh...
Todd: It's not a complicated question.
Tea: Bottom.
[Todd rolls her onto her back and places his body on top of hers, as he resumes kissing her.
For several more minutes, they both focus on kissing each other. When Todd stops kissing her for a moment while he moves his body to allow his hand to caress her, she decides to take the opportunity to talk to him.]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: Do you want this, or do you want to talk?
Tea: I want this.
Todd: Good.
[Todd's hand reaches under her blouse and moves up to her bra.]
Tea: I want this to mean something, Todd.
Todd: It does.
Tea: What does it mean?
Todd: It means that I want to do this with you.
Tea: Does it mean more than that?
[Todd removes his hand from under her blouse and sits up. Tea fears that she'll scare him away if she continues trying to talk about their feelings.]
Tea: We don't have to talk. Just know that this means a lot to me. Okay?
Todd: Sure, whatever.
[Tea sits up and removes her blouse. Todd watches her. There are no lights on in the room, but there's enough light coming in the window from a nearby street light for him to see her body as she undresses for him.
When she has her blouse and bra removed, she lies back on the bed again.
Todd quickly returns his body to hers. His hand caresses her chest as he returns to kissing her lips.
Soon, his hand moves down her body and under her skirt. His fingers quickly enter her underwear and begin to rapidly pleasure her.
Moments later, Tea ends their kissing.]
Tea: You need to stop that.
[Todd's fingers instantly stop.]
Todd: I'm hurting you?
Tea: No.
[Todd's fingers continue their pleasurable movement as his mouth moves to one of her breasts and he cautiously takes her nipple into his mouth.]
Tea: If you keep doing that, you'll make it happen.
[Todd looks at her face.]
Todd: Isn't that what you want?
Tea: Not yet.
Todd: What else do you want first?
Tea: I want you inside me.
Todd: Don't you want to enjoy yourself first?
Tea: I want to enjoy myself during.
Todd: You're sure?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: You want it now?
Tea: Yes.
[Todd removes his fingers from her underwear. As Todd lowers his pants and underwear, and puts on the condom Tea gave him, Tea removes the rest of her clothing.
When Todd is ready, he brings himself to Tea and enters her. For several minutes he moves against her, until his body finds its release.
He quickly removes himself from her, leaves the bed, disposes of the condom, pulls up his pants, unlocks the door and leaves the room.
As Tea lies on the bed, listening to the sound of the door shutting as Todd leaves the house, her heart breaks. She blames herself. She feels that she should have known that he wouldn't make love to her. All he wanted was a fuck. He had made that clear earlier. She had deluded herself into believing that it could be something more between them, something tender and loving. Her heart aching and her body left unsatisfied, she now feels she was wrong to have ever believed that he could love her as much as she loves him.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 40:
[The next day...
Tea is sitting in a booth at Carlotta's diner, watching her nephew sleep in his stroller. She looks at her watch impatiently. She had hoped to be gone from Llanview by now. Every minute in Llanview adds an additional risk that she could accidentally run into her ex-husband, or his other ex-wife, who Tea assumes will soon be his wife again, or even worse, both of them together. Tea had also hoped to avoid most other citizens of Llanview during this trip. Being in such a public place is making her uncomfortable, not knowing who may walk in the door.
Carlotta joins Tea in the booth and places a sandwich in front of her.]
Tea: Thank you, but I'm not hungry.
Carlotta: You need to eat something. You look pale.
Tea: I'm fine. I was just hoping that we would be on our way home by now. I know that you wanted Antonio to meet the baby, but it doesn't have to be today, does it?
Carlotta: He would be so disappointed if he missed the chance to meet Enrique's son.
Tea: He's probably working on some big case and won't be able to make it anyway. Tell him that he can come and visit whenever the police department gives him a free day?
[Tea stands up and prepares to leave.]
Carlotta: You need to stay.
Tea: Why? Is this really about Antonio?
Carlotta: No. It's about Todd.
Tea: Todd?
[Tea looks behind her, toward the doorway of the diner, fearing...or maybe anticipating, his presence.]
Carlotta: Viki is bringing him here.
Tea: When?
Carlotta: As soon as she finds him.
Tea: If he's not in the obvious places, he doesn't want to be found. In which case, he won't be. Trust me. I wasted far too much of my time trying to track that man down when he would do his disappearing acts when we were married. No more. I also won't wait here for him to come. I know he won't.
Carlotta: What happened last night?
Tea: You don't want to know. I wish I didn't know. I knew there was a reason I had been avoiding coming back to this town. I always end up worse than I started. I need to get out.
Carlotta: What if Todd does come?
Tea: The only way that Todd Manning would step foot in this diner today is if he's assured that I'm in a different state. Viki has always been able to perform miracles with Todd but even his sister won't be able to perform any today.
Carlotta: He must have hurt you a great deal for you to have given up on him, after you were so desperate to see him yesterday.
Tea: I wasn't desperate. I was foolish. I'll never be that foolish again.
Carlotta: I hate to see you giving up like this.
Tea: Last night you didn't want him anywhere near me. Why are you suddenly trying to play matchmaker?
Carlotta: I saw the way that you looked at him last night. This morning your eyes are different. They're sadder.
Tea: They should be sad. I've been miserable for weeks now. I'll always miss Enrique and wish he were here, but last night made everything clear for me. I need to move on with my life, for my sake and for Little Enrique's sake. Last night also clarified that there is absolutely no place in my life for Todd Manning.
[Tea is startled by a voice from behind her.]
Todd: We'll see about that.
to be continued
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2001 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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