Previously: Tea: Okay. How did you meet your shrink?
Todd: That's it. I give you one question about anything and that's what you choose?
Tea: I didn't realize that my options were completely open.
Todd: Do you want to change your question?
Tea: I am curious how you met him. I can't imagine that you picked someone from the phone book and I don't think you would have asked anyone for a referral. So, how did you meet him?
Tea: If you'd rather not tell me how you met your shrink, I'll just pick a different question to ask you.
Todd: I'll answer this one. It's probably safer than any other questions you'd come up with. You know I went to New York after I left Llanview, right?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: I didn't stay there long. I started going to all these other places. I wasn't lying to you. I really did go all over the world trying to forget you.
Tea: But, you couldn't?
Todd: It wasn't as easy as it obviously was for you to forget me.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: Okay, so I would go to all these stupid places and I'd look around, get bored and go back to New York. I'd lock myself in a hotel room for a few days, or weeks, until I got sick of myself and then I'd fly off somewhere else.
Tea: How many places did you go?
Todd: I wasn't counting.
Tea: Give me your best guess.
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: This one time before I took off again I was walking around near my hotel and for some stupid reason I walked into this bookstore. It was the kind I hate. You know, lots of preppy people, reading preppy books, drinking preppy coffee. I don't know what the hell I was doing there but I had to get some books for the flight I was taking later that day. I couldn't get all the first class seats for myself so I knew there would be some idiots sitting near me and I figured they wouldn't try to chat with me as much if they thought I was reading and if they did try talking to me if I had one of those books with a hard cover at least I'd have a weapon to use against them.
Tea: Why not just give them one of your famous menacing looks and scare them away?
Todd: I tried that and I almost got arrested for threatening to murder a passenger.
Tea: Because of a look?
Todd: I may have said a few words, too.
Tea: I see.
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: So, I'm looking around this preppy hell trying to find a book that will freak people out enough that they won't try to converse with me. You know, like a how-to book that tells you how to get away with murder while flying across the ocean. Only, they didn't seem to have any books like that.
Tea (sarcastically): That's surprising. It sounds like a best seller.
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: Somehow, I end up in the 'you're so screwed up you're in a bookstore buying a book to find out how screwed up you are' section.
Tea: The self-help section?
Todd: Whatever. I'm looking at all of these titles, right? They're all a bunch of garbage. I was about to ask someone where I could find the hero worship of serial killers section, when I see the title of this one book.
Tea: Your shrink wrote the book?
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: They had a few books about adults who had lousy childhoods. I figured, a bunch of wimps whining about stuff they can't do anything about...what the hell, they should be good for a few laughs, right? Most of them were, actually. There was this one, though. It was written by a shrink...
Tea: Your shrink?
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: I'm no longer in the mood.
Tea: You've just gotten to the good part.
Todd: I've talked enough today.
Tea: I'd like to hear the end of your story. Tell me more about the book.
Todd: I shouldn't.
Tea: I really would like to hear about it.
Todd: You're sure?
Tea: I'm positive.
Todd: The whole book is about one of this guy's patients. It's all about his life...his pathetic life, really. Almost as pathetic as mine. Lots of stuff happened to this guy when he was a kid and he was pretty screwed up as he got older, too. I was getting kind of ticked actually that here's this shrink spilling this guy's guts all over these pages just so he could make a profit off of it.
Tea: So, what changed your mind?
Todd: What makes you think I changed my mind?
Tea: You wouldn't have started seeing this person professionally if you were so appalled at his treatment of patients, unless something more happened.
Todd: It's not really important.
Tea: It is to me. I'd like to know what changed your mind and encouraged you to begin therapy with this man.
Todd: It was the final chapter of the book.
Tea: Did it turn out to be completely fictional?
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: The whole way through the book, he's going into these extreme details about this guy's life. I mean, really intense details. He doesn't hold anything back. Everything that happened to this guy when he was a kid is written out...every detail. I've never seen a book like that before. None of it was covered over. He didn't use pretty words to try to get around really saying what happened, like some people try to about these things. This book would probably have a bunch of idiots screaming for it to be banned for being way too graphic about stuff that they want to ignore because they can't handle the thought of it really happening to people.
Tea: Some things shouldn't be ignore, no matter how difficult they are to face.
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: Anyway, by the time I turned the page to start the final chapter, I'm pretty ticked off that this shrink has done this to a patient, even if he changed the name. It just wasn't his story to tell...except that it was. That's what the final chapter revealed. It had all been his story. Every disgusting thing that had happened to the guy in the book had actually happened to the shrink who wrote the book and every disgusting thing he did as he got older, he had actually done. He hadn't screwed over a patient to make a buck. It was his own life that he was using to try to make a buck. Although, he swears that he didn't do it for the money. He claims he wanted to help other people who had stuff done to them when they were kids. I think he only says that now because the book didn't sell much. I guess most people don't get off on reading about that kind of stuff, in that kind of detail.
Tea: So, reading his story...
Todd: Do you expect me to tell you that it had some profound effect on me?
Tea: If it sent you to therapy with this man, it must have had some effect.
Todd: I hadn't been sleeping much. I wasn't thinking clearly.
Tea: So, you sought him out after reading his book and asked to enter therapy with him?
Todd: Do you want to hear this?
Tea: Go ahead.
Todd: As soon as I got where I was going...Nicaragua...Nauru...Nashville...wherever it was, I got on another flight and went back to New York. It didn't take me long to track him down at the college he teaches at.
Tea: And, you asked him to help you deal with your own childhood demons?
Todd: Maybe I should save the rest of this story for another time.
Tea: Like...never?
Todd: That sounds like a good time to wait for.
Tea: I'd like to hear more about this but if you'd rather not tell me, that's okay.
Todd: It'll hurt your feelings if I don't tell you, huh?
Tea: Of course not. I only want you to tell me what you're comfortable telling me, when you're comfortable telling me.
Todd: So, I never have to talk to you about anything ever again?
[Tea laughs. Todd enjoys her laughter.
Several minutes pass with comfortable silence as Todd opens one of the CDs he bought.]
Todd: Tea?
Tea: Did you need me to stop so you can drive again?
Todd: Nah. You can have a whole hour this time.
Tea: Thank you.
[There is silence again as Todd tries to talk himself out of doing something he knows would be stupid. He is ultimately unsuccessful in his internal argument.]
Todd: I have the book in the trunk. I might let you read it sometime.
[Tea is touched that Todd would consider sharing something with her that she senses is very personal to him.]
Todd: It's not like those romance novels you're so into, though. You'd probably find it really boring.
Tea: I'll read it, Todd, if you want me to, if you think it would help.
Todd: How would it help?
Tea: Maybe it would help me understand you better.
Todd: It's not the story of my life, Delgado.
Tea: But, it is similar, right?
Todd: A little...maybe...I don't know.
[Todd doesn't want to continue having their conversation anymore so he puts one of the CDs into the car's CD player and turns the volume up, not only to drown out any more conversation that Tea may attempt but to also drown out his own thoughts, which are becoming too uncomfortable and too painful for him.
Hours later...
It's slightly after three in the morning when they finally near their destination. Todd prolongs their journey as he passes numerous motels that aren't to his pleasing.]
Tea: Todd...
Todd: I'll know it when I see it.
Tea: How can you see anything? It's late. Aren't your eyes tired?
Todd: Nope. This is my time of day. I feel energized.
Tea: Good for you. I'm exhausted. Let's just pick one and stay there tonight. You can continue your search for the perfect hotel tomorrow.
Todd: If you're tired, go to sleep. I'll wake you when we get there.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: I'm serious, Tea. We're not staying in some rundown place or one of those places where you have to share a john or shower with strangers. The only person you're showering with is me.
Tea (smiling): Really?
Todd: That woke you up.
Tea: I do suddenly feel very awake and very energized.
Todd: I was kidding.
Tea: I'm not. I've gotten you into bathtubs, I'll get you into a shower, Manning.
Todd: I'd like to see you try.
Tea: I'm sure you would.
Todd: Go back to sleep. It's too late for flirting.
Tea: I thought you were wide awake and raring to go?
Todd: I didn't say we were doing it.
Tea: I think you did...in your own way.
Todd: Whatever.
[After several more minutes of driving, they finally come to a hotel that Todd approves of, especially when he sees a sign advertising their on-site amenities.]
Todd: A bowling alley in a hotel...this is perfect.
Tea: I don't think I've ever even heard of a hotel having a bowling alley before.
Todd: Obviously, most places aren't as classy as this place seems to be. Now you won't be able to pretend that you can't find a bowling alley, like you did in that one stupid town.
Tea: I won't have to. We're locking ourselves in our room and not coming out, remember?
Todd: I don't remember that.
Tea: Luckily, I do.
[Todd parks the car in a parking space and shuts off the engine.]
Todd: We might not even be able to get a room. This place probably never has any vacancies, since they do have a bowling alley right in the building.
Tea: I'm sure none of their guests come here because they want to enjoy the Grand Canyon. They're just here to enjoy the on-site bowling.
Todd: They have billiards, too.
Tea (sarcastically): Well, that's different.
Todd: Why are you so moody again?
Tea: We're not wasting what could be our last days together by spending any of our time bowling.
Todd: You'd rather waste our time looking at a hole in the ground?
Tea: I'd rather be in your arms...in the shower.
[Todd looks at Tea, at the flirty, yet noticeably exhausted, glint in her eyes and laughs.]
Todd: I'll be right back. Wait here.
[Todd quickly exits the car. Tea watches as he walks toward the hotel. After he disappears from her sight, she leans her head back against the headrest, completely exhausted from so many hours of traveling.
Minutes later...
Tea is startled as Todd wakes her up by banging his knuckles against the window her head is leaning on.]
Todd: Come on. We've got a room.
[Tea gathers their things from the interior of the car while Todd gets their things from the trunk.
Minutes later...
They enter their darkened hotel room. Todd tosses their bags on the floor while Tea quickly tosses her body onto the bed, exhausted.]
Todd: Now you're glad we drove all the way today, aren't you?
[Tea is lying on the bed on her stomach. As she speaks, her voice is muffled slightly by the comforter that her face is pressing into. Exhaustion is also clearly noticeable in her voice.]
Tea: I'm thrilled.
Todd: So am I.
Tea: Good. Let's celebrate. Let's sleep together.
[Todd knows that Tea is so tired she really only wants to sleep. He climbs onto the bed next to her and places his hand on her back and begins to slowing caress her. Tea moans approvingly. After several moments she speaks again.]
Tea: If I didn't already love you, this would be the moment it would happen.
Todd: You fall in love that easily?
[Tea turns her head in his direction and opens her eyes, looking at him in the darkness.]
Tea: I didn't mean that. You know that.
[Todd moves his hand down her body and places it under the sweater she's wearing. As she feels his hand beginning to caress her bare back she moans again.]
Tea: Please, tell me you're not doing what I think you're doing.
Todd: What do you think I'm doing, Delgado?
[Tea moans again as he pulls on her sweater and moves it further up her back, allowing himself more access to her flesh. The warmth of his hands mixed with the coolness of the air on her skin sends tingles through her body.]
[Tea doesn't respond. Her body and mind are too confused. She's completely exhausted...she desperately needs sleep. Todd is touching her...she desperately needs him.
Todd knows that she's struggling within herself, deciding which to give into...his touch or sleep.]
Todd: You can go ahead and sleep.
Tea: I don't want you to stop.
Todd: I never said I was.
Tea: Will you take my clothes off?
Todd: You can sleep in your clothes this one time.
Tea: I don't want to. I want you to touch me without my clothes on.
Todd: I thought you wanted to sleep?
Tea: Maybe I'll fall asleep while you're massaging me.
Todd: Can you do that? Can you fall asleep when someone's touching you like that?
Tea: If it's you, yes...no...I don't know. I'd like to try. If I don't fall asleep, we'll see what happens, okay? I have to brush my teeth first so you have a few minutes to decide if you want me to lie next to you completely naked while you touch my body.
Todd: Tough decision.
Tea: I hope not too tough. I know what my preference is.
[Todd reluctantly removes his hand from under her sweater as she gets off the bed. She stumbles in the dark, looking for the bag that has their toothbrushes and toothpaste in it.]
Todd: You don't have to brush your teeth tonight.
Tea: Yes, I do.
Todd: I can wait to kiss you.
Tea: Maybe I can't wait.
[Tea finds the bag and retrieve what she needs from it. She stumbles some more on the way to the bathroom.]
Todd: If I didn't know better, I'd think you were drunk.
Tea: It's late. I'm tired. And, there's hardly any light in here.
[Todd turns on a lamp near the bed, to aid her journey to the bathroom. He's instantly horrified. Tea enters the bathroom without having an opportunity to notice what has Todd so disgusted. He quickly shuts off the light in the bedroom, hoping that he'll at least have until the next day to figure out how to explain this horrible development to Tea.]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: What?
Tea: Is this a regular room?
Todd: It's not irregular.
Tea: Everything in here is heart-shaped.
Todd: Maybe it's a theme room.
Tea: What's the theme?
Todd: Valentine's Day?
Tea: Are you sure it isn't a wedding night theme?
Todd: What makes you think that?
Tea: The soap is shaped like little hearts. There are hearts on the wash clothes and towels. They have complimentary sensual oils. Oh, and the small detail that the towels say Mr. and Mrs. on them.
Todd: They probably do that in all their rooms. They've got a bowling alley in their hotel, they're not exactly normal, you know.
Tea: What does it look like in there?
Todd: You don't want to know.
[Tea returns to the bedroom. She brings her hand up to a switch on the wall near the doorway to the bathroom. Seconds later she brings her hand to her mouth as she can't control her laughter.]
Todd: I think their theme is really bad porn.
Tea: This is the honeymoon suite, isn't it?
Todd: Apparently.
Tea: Was this an accident or did you ask for this?
[Todd tosses one of the red heart-shaped pillows off the bed in disgust.]
Todd: I sure as hell didn't ask for this.
Tea: They did go a little overboard.
Todd: A little?
Tea: Subtlety would have been a better choice.
Todd: No kidding. Let's go. We'll get another room.
[Tea is leaning against the wall by the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth as she continues to brush her teeth. Todd is tempted to tell her how appealing she looks right now. He controls himself, though, and doesn't.]
Tea: Let's just stay here tonight.
Todd: You're kidding, right?
Tea: It's late. We should get some sleep. If this room looks as bad in the morning...
Todd: It'll probably look worse.
Tea: ...we'll get another room. For now, all we need is a bed.
Todd: I bet this one vibrates.
Tea: That could be fun.
[Tea gives him a flirty smile before disappearing back into the bathroom to finish brushing her teeth.
Moments later, Todd joins her in the bathroom.]
Todd: I looked around. No mirrors on the ceiling and no video camera.
Tea: A video camera?
Todd: This place is so tacky, I thought they'd go all the way.
Tea: It's not really that bad...just a little heavy on heart-shaped images.
[Todd cringes as he looks around the bathroom.]
Todd: These people really are nuts...almost as bad as that one place that had the mirrored walls that they made sure were strategically placed so there was no way to avoid watching while you had sex.
Tea: Turning the light off would allow you to avoid it.
Todd: If you did that, you'd miss seeing all the good stuff.
Tea: I wouldn't want to miss that.
Todd: I meant me seeing your good stuff. I have nothing worth seeing.
Tea: I've seen what you have and its worth is...
Todd (quickly interrupting): I know what it's worth is and I don't need reminders.
Tea: I think maybe you do. It has more value than you seem to think.
Todd (not believing her): Yeah, right! Do you really want to stay here tonight?
Tea: Yes. I'll admit, they did go a little too far here with their theme but, I mean it, it's really not that bad.
Todd: You really are tired, huh?
[As Todd begins brushing his teeth, he's surprised as Tea moves behind him and places her arms around him.]
Tea: Not too tired.
Todd: Don't tell me this stuff turns you on?
Tea: No, but you do. Just knowing that you wanted to spend the night with me in the honeymoon suite makes me feel...
Todd: Horny?
Tea: Among other things.
Todd: I didn't know it would be like this.
Tea: So, you did ask for the honeymoon suite?
Todd: I asked for a decent room.
Tea: Was the word honeymoon mentioned at all?
Todd: It wasn't my idea.
Tea: How did we end up here?
Todd: Do you have to know everything?
Tea: I'd like to know this.
[Todd is distracted by the feeling of Tea's body pressed tightly against his and by her hands as they unbutton his shirt. As Todd finishes brushing his teeth, Tea finishes unbuttoning his shirt and places her hands on his chest. Her face is resting against his shoulder. Her moans, as she enjoys caressing his chest add to the pleasure he's feeling.]
Todd: Tea...
[Tea doesn't respond, except to step back from him slightly as she pulls his shirt off his shoulders and removes it from his body. When she returns her body to his, she kisses his flesh and continues making slight moaning sounds.]
Todd: Tea...
[Todd's body sways slightly as her hand moves down his stomach. He wants to give into this feeling, he wants to be with her, but he knows that losing control would be too easy in this moment.]
Todd: You're too tired for this.
Tea: We could be quick.
Todd: Is that what you want? A quickie?
Tea: I want whatever you can give me right now.
[Tea notices Todd's body stiffen a few seconds before he speaks again.]
Todd: I could give you pain.
[Tea removes her body from his and moves to his side so she can look directly into his eyes.]
Tea: You won't hurt me if you make love to me.
Todd: You have no idea.
Tea: I know that you won't hurt me. There are different ways that you can make me feel loved right now.
Todd: Staying clear of you would be the best thing I could do for you.
Tea: I don't want you to stay clear of me. I don't want you to push me away. I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to avoid touching me.
Todd: What you want is sleep. That's what you need right now.
Tea: We could go to sleep. When we wake up, we can make love in whatever way you want to make love with me.
[Todd looks at Tea for a moment. He determines that he won't allow his mind the opportunity to talk himself out of what he wants this time. He wants her...and she seems to want him.
Todd turns his body towards her and quickly brings their bodies together as their lips meet in a passionate kiss.]
[As they kiss passionately, Tea moans at the feelings his mouth, his body, his hands, are creating within her own body. They're both having a difficult time holding back, preventing themselves from going too far, from releasing too much of the parts of themselves that they've kept hidden in the past.
After several minutes of kissing and pressing their bodies together, Todd pulls away, taking several steps away from her. She tries to prevent him from stepping away from her but he does it anyway and puts his hand out to stop her as she tries to approach him.]
Todd: You're tired. You don't know what you're doing.
Tea: I know exactly what I'm doing.
Todd: Go to sleep.
[Tea lifts her sweater over her head. Todd watches. His mind knows that he should stop her but his eyes, and other parts of his body...particularly his penis, have other ideas.
He watches her intently as she reaches behind herself and unfastens her bra. As she slowly removes the barrier between his eyes and her breasts, he takes a deep breath. His body still reacts to the sight of her, despite the number of times he's seen her now.
Tea's hand reaches for the top of the slacks she's wearing. She pauses momentarily, awaiting his response. His gaze is fixed on her hands as he waits for more of her body to come into view.
Slowly, Tea lowers her pants, still expecting him to stop her. He doesn't. He knows that he should...but he doesn't.
Tea's hands go to the sides of her body, each grasping the top of her panties. Todd's eyes are still on her...waiting. Tea's actions are again slow as she lowers her panties slightly, allowing him only a small additional portion of visual access to her.
She waits.
He doesn't stop her.
Her panties continue their slow movement lower on her body until all is revealed to his captivated gaze. Tea removes the panties from her body and immediately steps closer to Todd. His eyes move up her body as she approaches him.
When Tea reaches him, her hands quickly go to the top of his pants. In her nervousness, her fingers fumble momentarily until Todd's hands join hers. She looks into his eyes, knowing that she just broke whatever spell Todd was temporarily in.]
Todd: What do you want?
Tea: You.
[Todd smiles awkwardly.]
Todd: No, you don't.
Tea: I do. I should say that, shouldn't I? I do. This is the honeymoon suite, isn't it? I do, Todd...I do. Tonight...you are my husband. I'm your wife. The way it should have been. The way it could be, if we both let it. I love you. I trust you. I do, Todd. I do.
Todd: No...you don't. You never did...not like that.
Tea: Exactly like that. I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of being with you, of sharing my body with you. Don't be afraid to share yours with me.
Todd: I'm not afraid...I'm not afraid of anything.
Tea: I am. I'm afraid of losing you.
Todd: Is that why you're doing this? You think that if we screw each other, I won't leave you, right?
Tea: I know that you'll leave me.
[Todd notices the look in Tea's eyes as it changes.]
Tea: But, I guarantee that it won't be because of the sex. I'll give you the best screw of your life.
[Tea's renewed confidence is evident as she easily opens his pants and pushes the material down his legs. Todd's hands are useless to him as they refuse to do their job and stop her.
Tea caresses him through his underwear for several moments as she brings her lips to his chest and kisses his flesh. She places several kisses on his chest before moving her lips up to his neck. Quickly, her lips climb higher on his body, wanting his lips on hers. When she tries to kiss his mouth, though, Todd's hands finally take action and rise quickly, landing one on each side of her face.
Tea is startled for a moment, until she sees the look in his eyes as he holds her face slightly away from his as he communicates with her using only eye contact.
Tea moves both of her hands away from the front of his underwear. One hand goes to the bare flesh at the side of his body, the other she places against his stomach, just above his underwear.
They stare at each other as Tea's hand slowly moves lower on his body, her fingers entering his underwear. As her hand touches the flesh it seeks, his whole body reacts with a jolt. His head rises slightly towards the ceiling. His eyes remain partially open, his gaze still connected to hers.
After several intense moments for both of them, Tea's hand leaves his underwear and moves to the side of his body, opposite where her other hand is.]
Tea: What do you want?
[Todd's head lowers until his forehead is resting against hers. He finally closes his eyes. His body relaxes as much as it can in the current situation. His voice is low but Tea hears him clearly as he speaks softly to her.]
[Todd's response thrills Tea...it also terrifies her. He continues to touch his forehead to hers, his eyes closed, enjoying her presence, her scent, her naked body so close to his. Tea also has her eyes closed...but not in relief. She feels herself letting go...losing control...but it doesn't make her feel comfort in his presence. Right now, if he were to do his distancing act, she would actually feel relieved, because right now more than anything she wishes that she had some distance...or some clothing covering her body.
Todd can feel the change in the way her body feels against him. Her hands leave his waist, her body noticeably shakes, her breathing becomes more rapid. He can sense her panic rising as his oddly lessens slightly.
Todd pulls his forehead back from hers and opens his eyes. He finds hers tightly shut. He keeps his hands on the sides of her face as he quietly speaks to her.]
Todd: Tea?
[She doesn't respond.]
Todd: Open your eyes.
[Her eyes remain tightly closed.]
Todd: It's okay. I won't touch you there if you don't want me to.
[Tea feels the need to reassure him, even as her own panic overwhelms her.]
Tea: I'm not afraid.
Todd: Prove it to me. Open your eyes.
[There's a long pause as Tea takes a deep breath, trying to force herself to calm down. Almost as quickly as her eyes open, tears form in them.]
Todd: It's okay.
Tea: I'm not afraid.
Todd: Yeah, you are. It's okay.
[Todd's thumbs wipe at the tears as them begin to flow down her cheeks.]
Todd: You're tired. You need to sleep.
Tea: I need you.
Todd: You don't need to journey through hell right now. It can wait.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: You know I'm right. We can go through hell together tomorrow...or never.
Tea: It's not your fault.
Todd: Sure it is.
Tea: No...
Todd: You won't be able to talk me out of taking the blame for putting you through this so save your energy. You don't have much left tonight, anyway.
Tea: I don't want to stop.
Todd: That's a lie. I know the deal, Tea. I know what you're feeling right now. I know that you want to run from that repugnant feeling that's building up inside you...that feeling you've been trying to run from for a long time, probably most of your life. I know that you think that if you don't escape it, you'll be swallowed up by it...you'll drown in it. I know that you're probably hoping that I'll put an end to this so you won't have to, because you do want it to end.
Tea: I don't want it to end. I don't want you to leave.
Todd: But, you want me to end this moment, right? You want me to decide for both of us that this is it for tonight, don't you?
[Tea closes her eyes again. She doesn't want to hurt him but her own pain is too much for her and she knows that, if they continue, her pain will only worsen the more she opens herself up to him.
Todd knows that she's struggling within herself. He understands that struggle. He realizes that maybe that's why his internal struggle isn't as unbearable for him in this moment. He's able to relax his own anxiety because he knows that hers will prevent them from going too far in this moment, just like she's been able to relax her anxiety at times because she counted on him to prevent them from moving further...deeper.]
Todd: That's it! If you're going to fall asleep on me while we're standing here, we're stopping and going to bed right now.
[Tea opens her eyes and looks at him.]
Todd: I'm not having my chick fall asleep on me in the middle of doing stuff. I have a reputation to protect. Well, actually, my reputation stinks, but you know what I mean.
[Todd removes his hands from her face but keeps his body intimately close to hers. Tea's hand reaches up and lightly touches the side of his face.]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: No arguments. We're going to bed.
Tea: Am I your chick?
[Todd pauses as he momentarily gets lost in her gaze.]
Todd: No, Delgado, you are not my chick.
[Tea smiles. The look in his eyes and the sound of his voice, touches her. She knows what he's saying without needing further explanation. She pushes for it, anyway.]
Tea: What am I?
Todd: You're tired. Let's get some clothes on you and go to bed.
Tea: I don't want to.
Todd: You're no good at sleep deprivation. You look like you're about to pass out. I'll have to teach you some of my survival tricks sometime...but not tonight.
Tea: Okay, we'll go to bed. I don't want to put any clothes on, though. I want to be bare with you.
Todd: Are you nuts?
Tea: I trust you.
Todd: You are nuts.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Look, Tea, I have more experience at this than you do. Trust me, you'll feel better if you're wearing something. The more layers you have on, the safer you'll feel.
Tea: Clothing won't protect me from this feeling.
Todd: Maybe not but it will stop your shivering.
Tea: That's not why I'm shivering.
Todd: If I answer your question, will you stop talking and go to bed?
Tea: Okay. What question?
Todd: Never mind. Let's go to bed.
Tea: Answer my question first.
Todd: You don't even remember what it was. You probably won't remember any of this tomorrow anyway, you're so out of it.
Tea: I still want you to answer my question...whatever it was.
Todd: We only have a few more days, right?
Tea: We could have a lifetime.
Todd: I'm almost doing okay here, do you have to say things like that right now?
Tea: You're doing wonderfully. You're so wonderful...kind...sensitive...caring...loving...adorable...
Todd: Okay, seriously, that's it. You've gone over the edge from lack of sleep. I'm putting you to bed right now.
Tea: Put me to bed, Todd. Put your wife to bed.
[Todd instantly feels panic grip his chest. He takes a step away from her, needing distance but unable to allow more space to separate them.
Todd's panic allows Tea's panic to calm more easily. She quickly moves forward and embraces him. She holds onto him tightly, pressing her naked body against his almost naked body.]
Tea: I love you. Take me to bed. Hold me for hours while we sleep. Wake me up in the morning by touching and kissing me.
[Todd pulls slightly away from her so that he can look in her eyes. He keeps their bodies connected as he places one arm around her back, holding her to him.]
Todd: You want me to touch you?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: You want me to wake you up like that?
Tea: Yes...unless I wake up first.
Todd: What if you do?
Tea: Then I'll wake you up like that.
Todd: You're not afraid?
Tea: Not of that.
Todd: But, you're afraid of everything else, right?
Tea: I'm afraid of my own feelings. I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid of...
Todd (interrupting): Everything else.
Tea: Yes, I'm afraid of everything else, but I'm not afraid of you.
Todd: You're sure?
Tea: I'm positive.
Todd: You want me to touch you...there?
Tea: Yes.
[Todd's internal struggle finally forces him away from her body. He removes his arm from around her and takes several steps away from her as he walks towards the sink. The physical distance doesn't help him, though, as he sees her reflection in the mirror. The sight of her baring her naked body to him without fear of him, only causes his struggle to increase.]
Tea: You won't hurt me.
[Todd looks away from her reflection in the mirror. Tea slowly approaches him. As her hand lightly touches his bare shoulder, his body noticeably jumps. Tea removes her hand, not wanting to add to his anxiety right now.]
Tea: I promise, you won't hurt me. Touch me other places until I wake up, okay? That way, when you're touching me...there...if anything feels uncomfortable, I'll tell you and you'll stop. I know that you won't hurt me, though. I know that. You can touch me anywhere on my body at any time and I will always be okay with that. You can look at any part of my body and I'll be okay with that, too. I'm not afraid of your touch. I'm not afraid to allow you to look at me when I'm not wearing anything. I'm afraid of what I feel, of how much I feel, of how much it hurts to think about losing you. I swear to you, though, that I am not afraid of you, of your touch or of your expressing your feelings for me in a physical way. I'm afraid of believing that you do feel something for me. I'm afraid to trust you with my heart but I promise you that I am not afraid to trust you with my body.
