Tea: Apparently, neither of us will be falling asleep anytime soon, so...
Todd: So, you want to screw around instead?
Tea: We could.
Todd: I know what you're up to. You only want to do stuff to convince me that you're not too grossed out to do stuff with me, now that you think you know something.
Tea: I do want you to know that nothing from your past will ever keep me from being with you.
Todd: I could give you details...
Tea: Yes, you could, and I would listen to you and I would comfort you, but I'll never stop wanting to be with you...in every way.
Todd: I knew this would happen.
Tea: What?
Todd: You start these fights on purpose.
Tea: I don't start them at all.
Todd: It turns you on when we fight.
Tea: That is completely untrue.
Todd: You always want to make out with me after.
Tea: No, I want to...
Todd: Torture me? That's the real reason, isn't it? You want to make out for a while, just long enough to really get me going, and then you want to slam on the brakes and watch me squirm.
Tea: I'm too exhausted for this tonight.
Todd: Just a few minutes ago you were saying you couldn't sleep. Now, I reveal a truth that you don't want to face and suddenly you're tired again?
Tea: I'm so tired, Todd.
[Todd knows that she's not referring to being sleepy. He knows that she's given him a lot of slack tonight because of what he revealed to her, but he also knows that her patience is running extremely low. He's not sure what to do but he knows that he has to do something. He doesn't want her to continue feeling the way that he knows she's feeling right now but he doesn't know if he can stop his anger from continuing to come out, even if it isn't her that he's really angry at.
For several minutes they each choose to be silent. Tea lies in bed with her eyes closed, unable to sleep. Todd finishes the beer he's been consuming and prepares to open another when he stops himself.]
Todd: Delgado...
[Tea opens her eyes and looks at him again.]
Tea: Yes?
[Todd pauses for several moments, unable to put into words what he's thinking.]
Tea: It's okay.
Todd: What is?
Tea: Whatever.
Todd: You're letting me off the hook for being such an ass?
Tea: You've had a bad night. And, you have a great ass.
[Todd smiles slightly as Tea laughs.]
Todd: I'm the one doing the drinking and you're the one getting drunk.
Tea: I'm tired.
Todd: Go to sleep.
Tea: I can't.
[Several more moments of silence, this time more comfortable than before, pass between them.]
Tea: I mean it, Todd, you do have a great body.
Todd: Body? I could have sworn a minute ago you were only talking about my ass.
Tea: I was, but I do like the whole package.
Todd: You don't know what my body can do.
Tea: It can make me feel good.
Todd: It could hurt you.
Tea: It feels so good to fall asleep next to you.
Todd: You're just going to ignore it, aren't you?
Tea: I'm not ignoring it. I'm choosing to focus on the present, instead of the past.
[Silence returns to the room again...for a short while.]
Todd: Did you have a lot of nightmares when you were a kid?
Tea: Some.
Todd: They were all about being left, right?
Tea: Most of them.
Todd: What were the other ones about?
Tea: I had occasional scary ones.
Todd: Like what?
Tea: Sometimes I would dream that I was falling out of bed and I would wake up right before I would hit the floor in my dream.
Todd: That's your idea of a scary dream?
Tea: I certainly woke up scared.
Todd: A scary dream is when monsters are chasing you, wanting to rip your head off and fry your brains for dinner.
Tea: It's a good thing I'm not eating right now.
Todd: See, that's a scary, disgusting dream.
Tea: So, that was one of your nightmares?
Todd: Life was my nightmare.
Tea: Did you have something that made you feel safe?
Todd: I wasn't big on cuddly toys, if that's what you're asking.
Tea: My brother gave me a feather...an angel's wing.
Todd: I remember.
Tea: What?
Todd: Huh?
Tea: What do you remember?
Todd: Nothing. Go to sleep.
Tea: I told you about my guardian angel's wing, didn't I?
Todd: I can't be expected to remember everything you've ever said to me, Delgado. We've known each other for years and you yack a lot.
Tea: That's very sweet that you remember.
Todd: I just said...
Tea (interrupting): Todd, let me have this moment of feeling good that you remember something I told you so long ago, okay?
Todd: Whatever.
[More moments of silence comfortably pass.]
Tea: It didn't stop the nightmares...not completely.
Todd: What didn't?
Tea: The feather. It helped when I would wake up, though. And, sometimes when I couldn't sleep, I would think about what Del had said to me...about my guardian angel being with me. He knew that he was leaving. He knew that Papi wouldn't come into my room at night and check on me the way he had...the way Mami had. He wanted me to feel like someone would still be watching over me...keeping me safe.
[Tea is momentarily silent again while her mind, and her emotions, return to her childhood.]
Tea: There was a point, before my mother left, when I announced that I was old enough to put myself to bed. She would still come in and check on me before she went to bed but she let me get ready for bed by myself instead of helping me like she did when I was younger. Some nights, I would kick off the covers because I knew that she would cover me up again when she came in to check on me. I liked the way it felt. I wanted to be too old for her to tuck me in, and read to me, and talk to me at bedtime, but I wasn't. After she left I actually thought that maybe she had left because I made her feel like I didn't need her anymore, that maybe it hurt her when I told her that I didn't want her to do those things anymore.
Todd: Your guardian angel thing looked like your mother, right?
Tea: She was a mixture of my mother and my grandmother.
Todd: This figment of your imagination helped you?
Tea: Yes. There were no windows so when I would turn the light off there was just darkness. And, sometimes there were noises.
Todd: Your old man and your brothers?
Tea: Papi usually went to bed early because he would get up early to begin work. We lived in the basement and there were noises because of that. The darkness seemed to make the noises louder and scarier. And, the loneliness seemed...
[Tea pauses again, her sadness becoming deeper than she had intended to allow it to go.]
Todd: The loneliness was worse at night?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: You missed your mom more at night?
Tea: During the day...
Todd (finishing her thought for her): You could shove the thoughts away.
Tea: Yes.
Todd: But, at night...
Tea: It was like drowning in them...in that feeling, you know?
Todd (speaking softly): Yeah...I know.
[They both stop speaking, allowing the quiet flow of shared pain between them.]
Tea: Todd...
Todd: I don't know.
Tea: It doesn't have to mean anything.
Todd: It would mean everything.
Tea: You're right, it would.
[They both choose to be silent for several more minutes.]
Todd: You asleep yet?
Tea: No. Todd, what if our time is almost over?
Todd: We knew going in that it wouldn't be forever...nothing is.
Tea: I had hoped...
Todd: Yeah, well, hoping is for idiots.
Tea: Are you calling me an idiot?
Todd: Yeah...
[Todd lets out an audible sigh, hating what he's about to admit.]
Todd: ...but I'm calling myself one, too.
Tea: I want to sleep with you tonight. I don't want to lose another chance while I have it. I want to fall asleep in your arms and I want to wake up next to you. I want to cook you breakfast. I want to spend the day alone in a car with you. Tomorrow night...
Todd (interrupting): If I get into bed with you, will you stop listing off your itinerary?
Tea: I promise, I'll shut up and try to go to sleep.
[Todd hesitates momentarily before getting up from his chair. He turns off the light and moves toward the bed. As he climbs in, he joins Tea under the covers. She tries to bring her body to his, but he wordlessly lets her know that he has something else in mind.
Tea closes her eyes, relaxed and content. She soon falls asleep as Todd's presence, his arm across her body and his head resting against her bare shoulder, soothes her into slumber. It takes Todd longer to fall asleep but being nestled against the warmth of her naked upper body eventually helps him relax enough to allow sleep.]
Todd slowly comes into consciousness. He leans his face into her flesh, enjoying the feel, the scent, the warmth, of her skin against his face.
Suddenly, Todd jerks his head up from Tea's bare breast and looks around their small motel room, orienting himself to his surroundings again as he awakens more fully, reality taking over for whatever brief insanity he was momentarily engaged in as he allowed himself a moment of feeling contentment.
He looks back at Tea's breast that had been his head's resting place. He doesn't remember his head being positioned when he fell asleep quite where it was just now when he woke up.
He looks up at Tea's face. She's smiling in her sleep. He wonders who she's dreaming about. It could be him, he knows, but he still has a difficult time believing that, despite the many times that Tea has tried to convince him that she truly does desire him.
Todd returns his head to her chest and for several minutes allows himself the luxury of enjoying her body next to his. He prepares himself to feign sleep should she awaken, not wanting to give her the power of knowing how weak he is for wanting, and needing, her physical presence right now.
The feeling of her flesh against his cheek doesn't satiate his need for her, though. He wants more.
He raises his head again and returns his gaze to her face. She's still asleep. She's still comfortably encased in whatever dream is currently playing in her mind. He again wonders if he's there, if he's the one that she's dreaming about, if it's thoughts of him that cause her smile. He quickly eliminates that thought. No one smiles because of him. Todd's mind betrays him as it quickly reminds him that Tea has smiled many times because of him...and, not because she was laughing at him. She really does enjoy being with him.
Todd remembers the previous night. He knows that it wasn't easy for her to deal with him in the latter part of the evening. He purposely made it difficult for her and she stuck it out with him. Todd's lips show a slight grin as he recalls how ticked off she was at him and how she didn't hide it from him. His grin disappears, though, as he recalls how she still wanted to spend the night in his arms, despite everything that had been said, despite everything that had been revealed.
She didn't pretend that she didn't understand what he had been trying to tell her. She faced it head-on, even though she knew that he might push her away if she did. She was willing to talk more about it, to help him in a way that few people have ever wanted to help him. She didn't want to ignore his demons. She didn't want to use them to her own advantage. She wanted to share them with him, to lessen the power they have over him.
Todd changes his position on the bed so that his head is opposite hers on one of the pillows. She's lying on her back but her face is turned in his direction. He stares at her.
She didn't run from his past last night, or any of the other times that she's gotten glimpses of it. It doesn't scare her away the way it should. It doesn't repulse her the way he keeps expecting it to.
A minute from now, he'll probably have himself convinced differently but for this moment he allows himself to believe that she will never leave him because of his past, that she will never be so disgusted, or disappointed, because of past events that she won't want to sleep next to him, like she did last night.
Todd's fingers lightly caress her cheek as he watches her sleep, wishing that her peacefulness could enter him. Wishing that for even a brief moment, he could allow her love to enter him, to fill him, without the ugliness getting in the way. He wants, not only for himself, but also for her, for both of them to finally be able to feel love without their minds playing their usual tricks and immediately trying to ruin it with doubts, suspicions, insecurities and pain.
Tea turns on her side and snuggles against his body. He not only allows it, he places his arm around her and pulls her tightly against him, wanting it too...just for this moment, while she's asleep and doesn't know he's the one holding her.
Numerous minutes later...]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: Yeah, it's me.
Tea: I know it's you. I was wondering if you would be okay with taking your shirt off.
Todd: You didn't know it was me. You thought I was...
Tea (interrupting): I can still smell that aftershave you put on last night. I knew exactly who I was pressing my body against...that's why I did it.
Todd: You've only been awake for a couple of minutes and you're already lying to me?
Tea (frustrated): Never mind. I'll use the bathroom and we can get back on the road. I'm sure you're anxious for that.
[Tea pulls out of his embrace and quickly enters the bathroom.
Minutes later, she exits the bathroom and finds Todd still lounging on the bed.]
Tea: I just need to brush my teeth and I'll be ready.
Todd: You were planning to go topless today?
Tea: Would that bother you?
Todd: Only if anyone else on the planet could see you.
Tea: Don't worry. I plan on changing my clothes, too. I should be ready to leave in a few minutes.
Todd: No way. You're not reneging on our deal.
Tea: What deal is that?
Todd: You don't remember?
Tea: Apparently not.
Todd: I'm surprised, Delgado. You're a lawyer, you should have a better memory for verbal agreements.
[Tea, to Todd's disappointment, pulls a T-shirt out of one of their bags and covers her naked upper body from the view he had be greatly enjoying.]
Tea: Just tell me, Todd. I'm not in the mood for...
Todd: For doing stuff this morning, obviously.
Tea: I offered. You declined.
Todd: You were offering to do stuff? I thought maybe you were expecting...
Tea: More of what we were already doing?
Todd: We were sleeping.
Tea: No...we were snuggling.
Todd: Snuggling? Todd Manning does not snuggle.
Tea: Well, someone was snuggling with me, starting before I even woke up.
Todd: I may struggle. And, as my lawyer, you should know that I may smuggle. But, I do not snuggle.
Tea: So, I was imagining it?
Todd: You do have a vivid imagination.
Tea: I felt tenderness and affection so you must be right...it must have been my imagination that you would hold me in your arms like that. Are you going to use the bathroom?
Todd: Are you going to cook breakfast?
[Todd can tell from Tea's facial expression that she now remembers what she had promised him.]
Todd: I like mine dark but not burnt.
Tea: You could always make it yourself.
Todd: Nope. That wasn't the deal.
Tea: Are you sure you want me to cook for you? I thought you hated my cooking?
Todd: I'm hungry enough to eat anything...even your cooking.
[Todd jumps off the bed and enters the bathroom. When he returns minutes later, Tea is already beginning the French toast. Todd watches her for several moments before she looks up at him and smiles.]
Tea: What?
Todd: Nothing.
[Tea tries to return her attention to the food in front of her but she can still feel his eyes on her. She looks over at him again.]
Tea: Tell me.
Todd: It's more something that I would have to show you.
Tea: Okay. Show me.
Todd: You're busy. You don't have time for stupid stuff.
[Tea steps away from the stove and approaches him.]
Tea: I'm never too busy for certain things.
Todd: Like what?
Tea: Like this.
[Tea places her arms around his neck and initiates a kiss. She's also the one who quickly ends it.]
Tea: You haven't brushed your teeth yet this morning.
Todd: Neither have you, right?
Tea: I wasn't drinking beer last night.
Todd: The taste of beer in the morning is a good thing.
Tea: We'll both brush our teeth and then we'll try another kiss.
Todd: What's worse - having beer breath in the morning or burning our breakfast?
[Tea quickly rushes back to her cooking. She turns over the piece of French toast in the pan, displaying the burnt side to both their views.]
Todd: That one's yours.
Tea: It was the first one. The first is never the best one. We'll just throw this one out.
Todd: I bet your second, third, fourth and fifth ones burn, too.
Tea: But, my sixth one...that will be magnificent.
Todd: The sixth one is mine.
Tea: We could arm wrestle for it.
Todd: No way. You'd cheat.
Tea: How would I cheat?
Todd: You'd probably take your shirt off first.
Tea: Would that distract you?
[Todd doesn't answer Tea's question. He grabs his tooth brush and disappears into the bathroom again. Tea smiles as she hums pleasantly to herself while she continues cooking their breakfast.]
[Minutes later, Todd returns to the small kitchen area and plops down on one of the chairs at the small table.]
Tea: Before you sit down...
Todd: Too late.
Tea: I need you to take over for a few minutes.
Todd: That's your job.
Tea: If you try to tell me again that this is woman's work...
Todd: What will you do, Delgado?
[Tea smiles at him. She knows she's about to lie and she knows that he'll know it, too.]
Tea: I won't kiss you, like we agreed to.
Todd: Did we agree to that?
Tea: If I can get into that bathroom to brush my teeth, I'll show you what we agreed to...and more.
Todd: More, huh?
Tea: Could you take over for just a few minutes?
Todd: I don't mind waiting until you've finished cooking.
Tea: I do. I don't want to wait that long.
Todd: You've got an urgent need?
Tea: Very urgent.
[Tea watches as the smirk on Todd's face disappears.]
Tea: Last night...
Todd: Didn't happen.
Tea: It did and it's okay.
[Tea pauses for a moment and looks back at the stove in front of her, knowing that this is dangerous territory to enter into.]
Tea: I love you. Nothing has changed that. Nothing ever will. I don't want to stop touching you, or kissing you, or being sexual with you. If you need...
[Tea stops speaking. Her back is to him but Todd can tell from the sound of her voice that she's becoming extremely emotional.]
Todd: If I needed you to back off, you would?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: But, you don't want to?
Tea: No.
Todd: Why?
[Tea turns back toward him. He sighs audibly as the expression in her eyes hits him hard.]
Todd: Don't say anything.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Go into the john. Brush your teeth. Do whatever you need to do in there.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Tea, I mean it. Just go. We'll eat. Then, we'll see.
[Tea smiles at him again, causing him to groan. They both know that some amount of physical enjoyment is ahead for them this morning.
Tea rushes into the bathroom. Todd begrudgingly takes over the cooking. When Tea returns a few minutes later she sits down at the table.]
Todd: What do you think you're doing?
Tea: I'm waiting for you to finish making our breakfast.
Todd: I only agreed to do this while you were in the john.
Tea: I could go back into the john until you're finished.
Todd: You're sneaky. I hate that.
Tea: It looks like you're doing a great job. So, I'll let you finish that and I'll get the rest of breakfast ready, okay?
Todd: What else are we having?
Tea: Orange juice...
Todd: I'll have beer.
Tea: I don't think so.
Todd: You don't want that beer I bought last night to go to waste, do you?
Tea: You can have it another time.
Todd: You know, you might have more fun if I'm drunk.
Tea: I doubt that.
Todd: The last time I got drunk, you had a shot at it...you know, the big 'IT'...but I guess we learned that night that you're not really interested in that...at least not with me.
Tea: I'm interested. I'm very interested. You know that I am. I don't want you to have to be drunk to be with me, though.
Todd: I didn't say I had to be.
Tea: But, you want to be?
Todd: It might be easier.
Tea: Why?
Todd: If it turns out that you're not knocked up, which we both know you will be, but if you're not, you might want to get drunk, too.
Tea: Because you think it would be easier?
Todd: Wouldn't it?
Tea: I don't want it to be easy. I want it to mean something.
Todd: You don't have to be sober for that.
Tea: I want to be. I want us both to be very sober and very aware of what we're doing and what it means.
Todd: You're knocked up anyway so this conversation is pointless.
Tea: And, if I'm not knocked up?
Todd: If you're not, I'll tell my least favorite nephew that I have tremendous respect for him. Heck, I'll give him a big hug...if you're not knocked up, but we both know that you are.
Tea: You hugging Kevin...that could be interesting to see, but don't worry, when it turns out that I'm not pregnant, I won't hold you to that...well, I probably won't.
Todd: I'm not worried. I know you're knocked up.
Tea: Don't be so sure about that.
Todd: You didn't just trick me, did you? You didn't find out this morning...
Tea: No, my period still hasn't come.
Todd: Can't you call it something else?
Tea: My monthly friend?
Todd: Whatever.
[Todd returns his attention to finishing making the French toast while Tea focuses on setting the table. They each allow the subject to drop.
Minutes later...
They're sitting across from each other at the small table as they prepare to begin breakfast. Todd is pouring a large amount of syrup onto the several pieces of French toast he has in front of him. As he places the syrup container onto the table, Tea speaks.]
Tea: Are you sure you have enough syrup?
Todd: I can always add more.
Tea: I don't know why you would want to.
Todd: It tastes good.
Tea: A small amount is all you need.
Todd: Really?
Tea: You're taking away from the taste of the French toast by using so much syrup.
Todd: The French toast is only there as an excuse for the syrup.
Tea: I guess we could have saved some time and skipped the French toast and you could have just drank the syrup directly.
Todd: Good idea.
[Todd picks up the syrup container again and tips it upside down above his opened mouth. Tea is disgusted as she watches the syrup pool into his mouth. As he returns the container to the table, he keeps his mouth slightly open and moves toward her. She tries to pull away as she realizes his intentions but he's quicker than she is and his mouth lands on hers in a sticky, sloppy kiss. Tea can't resist his offering as he extends his tongue into her mouth, sharing the syrup with her.
They continue to kiss, even as the syrup disappears from their hungry mouths. When they finally break their kiss, Todd reaches for the syrup again. Tea stops him.]
Tea: Don't. We don't need it.
Todd: What do we need?
Tea: Each other.
[Todd rolls his eyes and returns his attention to devouring his breakfast.]
Tea: I mean it and after we finish breakfast, I'll show you.
Todd (talking with his mouth full): We're hitting the road when we finish here.
Tea: When we finish with each other, yes.
Todd: When we finish eating.
Tea: I want to get back into bed with you.
Todd: You're ready for a nap again? You just woke up. Maybe you should see a doctor about this need you have to sleep all the time.
Tea: I'm not tired.
Todd: Then you don't need more bedtime.
Tea: I need more time in your arms. I need more time kissing you. I need...
Todd (interrupting her): We do have more syrup left.
Tea: Were you planning to pour it onto my breasts?
Todd: Are you into that kind of thing?
Tea: If that's the only way you'll suck on my nipples this morning...
[Todd slams the fork in his hand onto his plate and quickly stands up.]
Todd: Well, I am. Stay here by yourself, if you want. Or, you can call your damn boyfriend. Have him come and get you and you can do whatever kinky stuff you want to in that stupid bed.
Tea: Todd, calm down.
Todd: This is over.
Tea: Why?
Todd: Because you're knocked up.
Tea: My body tells me that I'm not.
Todd: You told me...
Tea: I haven't...
[Tea pauses, not wanting to use any words that will make him more uncomfortable in this moment.]
Tea: That hasn't happened yet, but there are certain ways that my body feels before... I think it will happen in a day or two. I can feel it.
Todd: You just think you feel it about to happen. In reality, you screwed me by screwing him and you're gonna pop a kid out to prove it. A living, breathing, screaming reminder of your unfaithfulness.
[Despite her attempts to stop it, Tea loses her own temper.]
Tea: Do we need to review the facts again? Because, we both know that I was not unfaithful to you with R.J.
Todd: The hell you weren't! You married me, Tea. That should mean something. That should mean that no one else gets inside your underwear, but me.
Tea: Well, we both know that you have no interest in getting into my underwear, now don't we? You've had opportunity after opportunity and nothing has happened. In all these years, nothing of yours has ever entered my underwear...not even a finger. I can't say that you haven't gotten it up while you were with me but I'm seriously suspecting that it isn't me that's having that effect on you. If it were, you would have acted on it by now. So, let's talk unfaithful, shall we?
Todd: No...no...you're not turning this around and pretending that it's me...
Tea: I think it is you. I think it's been you who has been pretending. I think you've been pretending I'm someone else every time we've been sexual and that's the only reason your body has responded the way it has. But, you don't want to completely cheat on this other person, right? That's why we can only go so far before you bring everything to a screeching halt.
Todd: You're nuts.
Tea: Why do you stop? If your body wants it...if that friend of yours, the one you're carrying around in your pants, wants it, why do you stop? Why is it only with me that you stop?
Todd (yelling): Because, it's you, Delgado!
Tea: Exactly! Because I'm your platonic pal, right? I'm your lawyer. I'm your friend when there's no one else around to talk to. Our relationship has always been nothing but platonic for you.
Todd: Our relationship had to be platonic because you were always so exhausted from screwing ever dick you could get your lips around. How many were there? Let me guess. I bet that one doorman who was always looking at you like he knew how you looked naked...because he obviously did. And, we know there was the minister, and the cop, and the club owner. And, probably Sam, right? Those late nights spent alone in his office weren't because you gave a damn about me. You were screwing him while trying to figure out how to screw up my case so you could ship me off to prison and take all my money. Who else? Kevin, definitely. Probably Joey. Max has screwed every other cunt in Llanview, he couldn't resist having yours too. Bo kept me in jail those times so he'd have access to you, right? Antonio...I knew you were screwing him when I saw you practically screwing him on that dance floor on New Year's Eve. Asa...Hank...
Tea: Todd, stop.
Todd: Are you going to finally admit it?
Tea: That I'm as big a whore as you've always suspected?
Todd (starting to calm down, slightly): I never said that.
Tea: You just did. You just vividly did. Why don't you admit it? Huh? Finally admit it. You're just like every other man. I was stupid to think that you could see me any differently.
Todd: I do.
Tea: I couldn't possibly have earned the opportunities I've had in my life. I couldn't have gotten the jobs that I have without putting out first. I couldn't have earned my promotions through hard work. No...every single step I've taken up the ladder must have been taken with my blouse unbuttoned and my legs spread. You know, there were times that I was deluded enough to think that maybe, just maybe, you saw something different. That maybe you saw me as a real person instead of just a cunt, but I was wrong, wasn't I? You see me the same way that every other man has ever seen me.
Todd: What just happened here, Tea?
Tea: We just broke up...not that we were ever really together since you've spent every day of this trip looking for a way out. Congratulations! You've succeeded.
Todd: No. Wait.
Tea: For what? Do you have more insults you haven't had a chance to use against me yet? Write them down and mail them to me. I'm no longer available for these in-person verbal attacks.
Todd: Delgado...
Tea: Don't even try.
Todd: This didn't happen.
Tea: Yes, it did. I'm through pretending that you don't really mean the insulting, disgusting, degrading, things you've been saying about me.
Todd: You can't leave me.
Tea: Watch me!
Todd: No...you can't.
Tea: Why not? Give me a reason. Give me a damn good reason.
Todd: Last night.
Tea: What about last night?
Todd: That's the reason.
Tea: It's not enough.
Todd: Do you think it was easy for me?
Tea: Do you think it was easy for me?
Todd: Easier than it was for me.
Tea: I know that you felt vulnerable last night and I made a lot of allowances, but...
Todd: You're not leaving me.
Tea: Why should I stay? What are you offering me? More insults? More degradation? More loneliness? More pain?
Todd: Yeah.
Tea: Well, I'm not interested. I've had enough of those things from other people. I don't need it from you...especially from you.
Todd: Why?
Tea: Why don't I need it?
Todd: Why especially from me?
Tea: You know why.
Todd: Not really.
Tea: I'm tired, Todd. I can't do this anymore.
Todd: You know why I say stuff like that.
Tea: Because you have no respect for me.
Todd: No.
Tea: Yes. I have asked you so many times, on this trip alone, to not talk to me that way, to not treat me that way, to not make me feel that way. You keep doing it. You know it will hurt me and you go right ahead and do it, over and over. Not anymore. I'm done.
Todd: You do it, too.
Tea: You're right, I do. I don't want to anymore. I don't want to hurt you anymore and I won't allow you to hurt me anymore.
Todd: So, you're staying?
Tea: No.
Todd: Come on, Tea, you understand. Tell me you understand.
Tea: I think that maybe I do understand, but that doesn't mean that I can live with this anymore.
Todd: I don't know what else to do.
Tea: I think you do. I think that you know exactly what you're doing, exactly what you're saying. You want to hurt someone. You want to inflict pain on someone. I don't feel like being the target for your repressed anger anymore. Find someone else.
Todd: There's no one else. I mean it, Tea...there's no one else.
[Todd sits down on the edge of the bed. Tea, noticing the slumped look of his body, can't help but think that it's the weight of his past that is the cause. Right now, she doesn't want to think about his past. She doesn't want to be tempted to excuse his atrocious behavior towards her, yet again. She can't help it, though. He has a way of tugging at her heart even when she's angry at him.]
Todd: You were wrong about my shrink.
[Tea shakes her head, not believing that she's about to allow him back into her sympathies, but knowing that she doesn't have any choice. Whenever he shares the painful parts of himself with her, she can't help but be drawn to him, no matter how determined she is to escape the roller-coaster ride that is Todd Manning.]
Tea: How was I wrong?
Todd: He didn't tell me to find you, to be with you. He told me to write you a letter. Not you, actually. He knew that there was all this stuff inside me, stuff that I didn't want to tell him, that I didn't want to tell anyone. He told me to write it down, to pick the one person that I trusted the most and write it in a letter to that person. When I finished with the letter I could send it or I could destroy it. He said that I needed to tell someone what was eating away inside me, even if it was just a piece of paper that I told and no one would ever actually read what I wrote.
Tea: Did You? Did you write that letter?
Todd: No. I tried but I just couldn't. I don't know why I came to get you. I knew it was a mistake. It wasn't to tell you, I know that. I never wanted you to know. There's so much that I don't want you to know.
[Tea kneels down on the floor in front of Todd. She cautiously, and lightly, places her hands on his legs. She looks up at his face that is looking down, refusing her eye contact. Her voice softens as she quietly speaks to him.]
Tea: It's okay for you to tell me, Todd. I'm glad that you trusted me last night. I want you to share everything with me. I want to be someone that you trust, someone that you count on. I can't be the one that you take all this out on, though. Okay? You can tell me anything, but you can't treat me the way that you've been treating me anymore. You can't hurt me just because you're hurting. I can't do that to you either. We both have to stop reacting this way. We're both hurting so much, but we need to find other ways to deal with that pain.
Todd: I don't know anything else.
Tea: Together we'll learn new ways. Okay?
Todd: You should leave. You're right to want to get as far away from me as you can. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve me.
Tea: I deserve to be with someone who loves me. If you really do love me, then I deserve to be with you.
Todd: Do you really believe that? Sometimes you act like...
Tea: Much of the time I don't believe it. I don't believe that you love me and I don't believe that I deserve even a small portion of all that love that you try to keep so shut off inside yourself but occasionally give me glimpses of...but I want to. I want to believe that I deserve to be loved, to be cherished. There are times, when I'm with you, that I almost believe it, you almost convince me. You have to give me more of that and less of the anger. I want you to convince me with your actions and, yes, with your words. You have the words. I know you do.
Todd: They always come out wrong.
Tea: I need you to keep trying to share those words with me, no matter how they come out. You're good at the angry words. I need you to practice more on the ones that aren't angry, the ones that are meant to make me feel loved.
Todd: Yelling is easier.
Tea: It's not easier on me. I need that to matter to you. I need to matter to you so much that you don't go out of your way to hurt, or humiliate, me. It's okay if you get angry sometimes. Of course, it is. If I do something that makes you mad, it's okay if you tell me, but you have to stop purposely trying to hurt me the way that you have been. And, you have to stop taking your anger at other people out on me.
[Todd finally makes eye contact with Tea again.]
Todd: I do get angry at you. Sometimes I hate you.
Tea: Why?
Todd: You make me feel. I hate that. I can't stand that.
Tea: I know.
Todd: Why are you here?
Tea: Where else would I be?
Todd: You have tons of choices.
Tea: Not if I want to be happy. Not if I want to feel loved. For that, my only choice is you.
Todd: I make you miserable.
Tea: Yes, you do. And, I make you miserable. If we could just stop doing it on purpose and help each other through the unintentional pain that being together causes...
Todd: It's never gonna happen.
Tea: It could.
Todd: There's no chance.
Tea: I have to believe that there is a chance. I have to believe that somehow, together, we'll find a way to get through your pain and to get through mine.
Todd: There's too much.
Tea: We have a lifetime.
Todd: We have four days.
Tea: If that's as long as we're destined to have, then we'll make the next four days enough for a lifetime. No more insults, okay? It's four days. Do you think you can hold back the insults for four days?
Todd: Four days...that's a long time. Can I still insult all of your boyfriends?
Tea: Not if you do it in a way that makes me feel like you're calling me a...
Todd (quickly interrupting): Stop. Don't say that word again.
Tea: Can you do this? Can we spend the next four days loving each other, giving each other as much as we can, while we can?
[The room is silent for several moments as Todd makes his decision. He sighs loudly before answering her.]
Todd: Whatever.
[Tea smiles. It's not a declaration of love, or even an apology, but from Todd, it's close enough to what she needs, for now.]
Tea: Good.
Todd: So, no more talking to each other for the next four days?
Tea: That might be a little hard to manage.
Todd: For you, maybe, not for me.
Tea: Well, that's true. I do want to have conversations with you, though. I enjoy it.
Todd: You really are nuts. I still get to say that, right?
Tea: As long as you're only teasing and it isn't in reference to my previous sexual experiences, yes, you can still say things like that.
[Tea tries to speak sternly but she can't completely mask her affection for him.]
Tea: Manning...
Todd (mocking her): Delgado...
[Tea uses her hands on his legs to help her stand up. Todd stands up in front of her and grabs her arms to keep her from stepping away from him.]
Tea: We should finish breakfast.
Todd: Is that what you really want right now?
Tea: No.
Todd: What do you want?
Tea: I want...
[Tea pauses, her emotions feeling too overwhelming.
Todd lets go of one of her arms and cautiously places his arm around her, his hand resting lightly on her back. Tea uses her free hand to touch his cheek, near his scar.
Relieved that she's touching him tenderly again, instead of pushing him away, he lets go of her other arm and quickly pulls her body into his, both of his arms holding her tightly to him.
Several minutes later...
Tea is disappointed when he lets go of her and quickly moves away from her body.]
Todd: We've got to get out of here. We're driving the rest of the way today.
Tea: That's too far to go in one day. We'll stop somewhere in Utah tonight and drive the rest of the way tomorrow.
Todd: Nope. We're gonna drive all the way through, as long as it takes. You can have the first shift.
Tea: You want me to drive?
Todd: I trust you.
Tea: You're really letting me drive? Without a fight? Without any cracks about my driving?
Todd: If you want me to insult your driving, I can do that. I was going to wait until you actually run us into a ditch, though. Or, until you forget about the gas gauge, like you tend to do, and we run out of gas.
Tea: One time. That only happened one time and that was years ago.
[Tea smiles as Todd laughs at her previous driving error. They quickly finish breakfast, pack up their things and are soon on the road again.]
