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| ANOTHER JOURNEY BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 86 - 90 |
PREVIOUSLY...
Tea waits for Todd. Todd waits for Tea. Two stubborn people on a sparsely populated road, each waiting for the improbable -- the other person to give in first.
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chapter 86:
[Several minutes pass as they each wait for the other person to take action.
Tea finally turns back towards the car and leans down so she's looking at Todd through the still open window. As she leans over, the buttons that are open at the top of the oversized shirt she's wearing cause the shirt to hang open and give Todd a slight view of her bra covered breasts. Tea notices the aim of his gaze and looks down at herself and realizes what he's staring at. She moves a little, trying to enhance his view. He appreciates it.]
Tea: So, Todd...
Todd (distracted): Huh?
Tea: Maybe I should get back into this car and we should find the nearest motel and...
[Todd's eyes suddenly look up at hers.]
Todd: What? No. It's not even dark yet. We need to keep driving.
Tea: I know what I need, Todd, and it doesn't involve driving.
Todd: If I kiss you, will you back off?
Tea: I'll give you two hours.
Todd: So, if I kiss you twice...
Tea: We'll both enjoy ourselves twice as much. I think it's kind of warm out here.
[Tea's fingers reach for the highest button on her shirt that is still buttoned. Todd immediately gets out of the car and walks around the vehicle toward her.]
Todd: Cut it out, Delgado. You think I want people thinking you're some...
Tea: Some what?
Todd: Some chick I'm picking up.
Tea: Would you like to pick me up?
Todd: If you keep up this game, our deal is off.
Tea: Okay, fine. I'll be good.
Todd: You better or we're never stopping in the middle of nowhere to do this again.
Tea: Well, I don't want that.
Todd: You don't want to do this again?
Tea: I don't want to give you a reason not to do this again.
[Todd stands in front of Tea as she leans back against the car with a smile on her face.]
Tea: Well?
Todd: What?
Tea: I thought you wanted to kiss me.
Todd: Maybe.
Tea: You said you did.
Todd: Yeah, well...
Tea: Did you mean it?
Todd: Yeah.
Tea: Then, kiss me, Todd. I want you to.
Todd: Really?
Tea: I said before that I did.
Todd: Right. You know, that's the only reason I said that I wanted to.
Tea: Is it?
Todd: I don't enjoy this kind of stuff the way you do.
[Tea's smile increases, knowing that he's lying to her and maybe even himself.]
Todd: We should just do this and get it done with so we can get back to driving, right?
Tea: Right.
[Todd takes a step closer to Tea. She stops leaning against the car and straightens up. He takes the final step towards her that places his body against hers. His arms reach around her and pull her tightly against him as Tea's arms go around his neck.
Their lips come together in an magnetic connection. As their lips part and then return to each other a second later, Todd leans them both toward the car, until Tea's body is pressed against it with his body pressed against hers.
They both open their mouths. They both explore with their tongues. Tea moans. Todd grunts.
Several minutes later, as they wildly kiss, they both clearly have lost control and they both know it. Todd ends their kissing, trying to bring himself back under control. He stays pressed against her body, though.]
Todd (passion evident in his voice): Delgado...
Tea: Let's get in the back seat.
Todd: We can't.
Tea: Why not?
[Todd's mind is inexplicably unable to provide him with an answer. He knows it's Tea's body pressed against him that is making it impossible for him to think correctly...defensively.
As Tea's mouth caresses his neck and then quickly descends on the spot she found the previous night that she knows turns him on, Todd feels like his brain, or some other part of his body, will soon explode if she doesn't stop.]
Todd: Delgado...
Tea: I want this. I want you.
Todd: Delgado...
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Okay, that's it. We're stopping. No arguments.
Tea: Whatever you say, Todd.
Todd: Since when?
Tea: We'll stop if you want to...if you don't enjoy the way our bodies feel pressed together...if you don't enjoy where your hands are...if you don't enjoy feeling my breath on your skin...if you don't enjoy the feeling of your lips on mine. If none of this is enjoyable for you, we'll stop.
Todd: Well, then we agree. We're stopping.
Tea: Whatever you say, Todd.
[Tea buries her face in his neck, knowing that he doesn't want to stop. He isn't making any effort to loosen his grip on her or to pull away from her body. She knows he wants to continue what they're currently doing.
A moment later, Todd nudges Tea with his head, positioning her head so he'll have access to the spot behind her ear that he knows she enjoys. When his lips, and then his tongue, cause her desire to escalate, she moans with pleasure.
Hearing her moaning with desire for him, causes his brain to shut down to the emotions rising in himself and force him to end their physical contact.
Tea isn't surprised when he pulls away from her. She's disappointed but she's not surprised.
Without saying anything, Todd walks back around the car and gets in. Tea also gets in.
Todd immediately pulls back onto the road again. Tea reaches for her atlas on the back seat and begins looking for where they'll spend the night.]
Tea: Two hours, right?
Todd: That was the deal. It will have to be somewhere in Montana. Unless...
Tea: We had a deal and I'm holding you to it. Besides, Montana's too big a state for us to drive through tonight.
[Tea looks over the map of Montana for a few minutes. While he drives, Todd's mind is still lingering on their intimate moment...her lips...her chest pressed against his...his hand on her...
His thoughts are interrupted by Tea's voice.]
Tea: Would you like to try for Hardin?
[Considering Todd's thoughts at the moment he was interrupted it's not unusual that he would hear her incorrectly and think that she said -- hard-on.]
Tea: Well? Do you want to go that far tonight?
Todd: Huh?
Tea: We don't have to go that far if you don't want to.
Todd: Wait. Just wait. What did you say?
Tea: We don't have to go that far if you'd rather stop somewhere else sooner.
Todd: What was your suggestion again?
Tea: Hardin. It looks like it's probably a little more than an hour after we cross the border.
Todd (laughing as he speaks): Hardin. Uh, yeah, Delgado, Hardin is fine.
Tea: What's wrong with you, Todd?
Todd: Nothing.
Tea: Why are you so happy about it?
Todd: I'm not happy. I'm never happy.
Tea: You were laughing. Now you're smiling.
Todd: You don't want me to smile?
Tea: Of course I do. I just would prefer to be in on the joke.
Todd: Trust me, it's better this time if you're not.
Tea: Okay. If you say so.
[Tea looks at Todd again, still not understanding why he's continuing to smile.]
chapter 87:
[They continue driving, mostly silently. The time spent driving helps them both calm down physically from their earlier passion. They both force themselves not to think about what will happen between them later tonight, although, they both are looking forward to whatever does happen.
Finally, they reach their destination for the night. They quickly find a small, comfortable looking motel. After checking in, they go to their room which is small but cozy...at least Tea thinks so.
Todd drops their bags on the floor by the bed and turns toward Tea.]
Todd: Okay, let's go.
Tea: Right now?
Todd: Sure. Why not?
Tea: Okay.
[Tea is surprised that Todd would want to get intimate so quickly but she adapts and approaches him. Walking into Todd's personal space, she places her arms around him, surprising Todd.]
Todd: What are you doing, Delgado?
Tea: You said you wanted to start.
Todd: No, I said I wanted to go.
Tea: I thought you meant you wanted to begin our evening together. It seemed like a harsh way of saying it but...
Todd: I know, I'm a harsh guy.
Tea: Sometimes you are very sweet and gentle...when you want to be.
Todd: I never want to be either of those things.
Tea: Well, you are...sometimes.
Todd: Are you going to get off of me so we can go?
Tea: Where are we going?
Todd: I don't know. We need to eat and maybe we could find something to do for a few hours.
Tea: I know what I want to do for a few hours.
Todd: Look, I stopped driving early for you. Isn't that enough? Do you have to be putting the moves on me so fast?
[Tea pulls away from his body and looks away. He knows that he hurt her. He wants to be with her, too. He wants that too much. He needs more distance. He needs time to lock his feelings away more securely before they enter dangerous territory together again.]
Todd: Are you ready to go?
Tea: I think I'll just stay here. You can go out and do whatever you were planning to do and then later you can bring dinner back for both of us.
Todd: No way, Delgado. I put up with you all day without a break. You can't get out of spending the night with me.
Tea: You want to be with me right now?
Todd: Not in here.
Tea: But you do want to be with me?
Todd: Let's just go and find something to do.
Tea: Could we go for a walk?
Todd: You really like torturing me, don't you?
Tea: I really like walking with you, especially when you hold my hand.
Todd: Like I said...torture.
Tea: Hey, it could be worse. It could be...
Todd: Don't push it right now, Delgado. It's bad enough you're forcing me to hold your hand in public.
Tea: We could stay here where it's private.
[Todd quickly offers his hand to Tea.]
Todd: Let's go.
[Tea places her hand in his. For several moments they stand together, holding hands and studying the other person's eyes.
Finally, Todd looks away and moves toward the door, Tea's hand still in his, as he leads her out of their motel room.
They walk for several blocks, neither speaking. Finally, Todd stops in front of a small theater.]
Todd: Well?
Tea: This is what you want to do? See a movie?
Todd: Sure. Why not? We could see a flick and have dinner at the same time.
Tea: I expect dinner to be more than popcorn and chocolate covered raisins, Todd.
Todd: You need to learn to be more adaptive...like me.
Tea: Right.
Todd: So, you don't want to do this? There was a sign for a casino when we were coming in.
Tea: This is fine. We'll have dinner after the movie.
Todd: Okay. We'll go to that ice cream place we passed before.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Let's just do this, okay? We can argue about dinner later.
Tea: Fine.
Todd: Look at that, the movie's about to start. We always did have perfect timing.
Tea: We did?
[Minutes later, they enter the theater. Todd juggles an armful of snacks and more than one soda...all for himself. Tea has her own soda and expects to share some of Todd's snacks...if he allows it.
Todd picks out their seats in the back of the theater. The theater isn't filled to capacity but there are plenty of people sharing the theater with them...too many as far as Todd is concerned. Todd is glad that at least most of the people have chosen to sit closer to the screen. No one is sitting in the seats directly in front of them or too close to their sides.
Todd dives into his junk food as he surveys the room and notices a group of teenagers.]
Todd: This isn't a teen flick, is it?
Tea: I don't know. I didn't recognize the name of the film.
Todd: It better not be.
Tea: We could always leave if it's not to your liking. Besides, we'll probably be out of snacks in a few minutes anyway.
Todd: We, Delgado? This is all mine.
Tea: You're going to make yourself sick with all this junk food.
Todd: Hasn't happened so far.
Tea: Well, your body must have a limit to how much sugar it can take in at one time.
Todd: Leave my body alone.
Tea: Oh, Todd...
Todd: Don't even think about finishing what you were about to say, Tea.
Tea: I'll restrain myself if I can share your popcorn.
Todd: Fine.
[As the movie starts, Tea leans over to take some popcorn, which Todd is keeping in his lap. Her head rests on his shoulder while she retrieves the popcorn and stays there. Todd allows it.
Several minutes into the movie, Tea still has her head resting against him and her body is twisted toward him, one of her hands is resting on his arm.
It takes numerous minutes for Todd to talk himself into making his move but he finally does.
He moves to his side to place the empty junk food containers on the floor, causing Tea to lose contact with his body. When he straightens up again, he does an exaggerated yawn and stretches his arms out to his sides, and behind the seats. Tea smiles as she realizes what Todd is doing...or at least what she hopes he's doing. A moment later, her suspicions are confirmed as Todd's arm settles against her shoulder. Tea happily leans her head back against his arm.
The film hasn't been very interesting for Tea so she takes her attention fully away from it and devotes it completely to the feeling of being next to Todd. She even takes a chance and lightly places her hand on Todd's leg.
Todd is uncomfortable for several minutes until he realizes that Tea doesn't intend to move her hand from where she placed it.
When his other hand lands on top of hers and he doesn't remove her hand, she knows that he's okay with what they're doing. She knows not to push him by trying to be any more explicitly intimate. The way they are right now is perfect for her anyway. She knows that later they will be more physically intimate. Todd may even touch her breasts tonight. She's excited about that but right now she's enjoying his arm around her, his hand on hers and her head resting against his arm. She closes her eyes, savoring this experience.
More minutes pass. Todd doesn't care for the movie either. He's barely paid any attention to it since most of his attention has been on Tea.
After a while, Tea shifts in her seat, trying to get more comfortable. She removes her hand from his leg and turns her body more towards him as she snuggles into his shoulder.
Todd looks up at the screen to see if there's a reason for Tea to be suddenly hitting on him. All he sees is another boring scene in a movie filled with boring scenes. There's nothing on screen, though, that would indicate anything romantic or sexual.
Minutes later, Tea is ready to drift off to sleep when she feels Todd's arm move from her shoulder. His hand slowly moves down her upper back. By the time he begins rubbing his fingers against the back of her bra, she's wide awake again.
She again places one of her hands on his leg, letting him know that she's awake and agreeable to what he's doing. Her hand is placed further up his leg than before but not so high that he would object. His hand again lands on top of hers, letting her know that he's allowing her to keep her hand where it is.
His other hand continues to caress her back where her bra is for several minutes before it moves further down her back. After a few more minutes, his hand is moving back up her body but is also moving further and further toward her side.
Tea shifts her position, trying to give him better access to what she hopes he's seeking access to. Todd's hand continues slowly sliding up her body. As he reaches her bra again and caresses her side, she turns her body slightly away from him. She leans back so she's resting her head on his shoulder again. It's not the most comfortable position for her but she doesn't care. For the first time in years, she's hoping to get felt up at the movies by her date.]
chapter 88:
[For several excruciating minutes, Todd's fingers lightly caress over Tea's bra, at her side. When his hand finally does move toward the front of her body, it's placed just below her breast.
She knows that he wants to touch her breasts. She's sure of it. She thinks that he may want more confirmation from her that it's what she wants, too. She feels that he should know this by now but she understands if he's concerned about initiating this contact, given events of the past.
Tea decides to take a chance and assume his desire. She places her hand over his and holds if for a moment, waiting to see if he'll pull away. When he doesn't, she slowly moves his hand from below her breast until it's directly touching her breast. She holds his hand over her breast for a moment. He doesn't give any sign of pulling away so she squeezes his hand, causing it to squeeze her breast.
She removes her hand and again shifts her body a little, trying to find a more comfortable position. As she settles her body again, still leaning back against him, she waits to see what he'll do.
For a long time, his hand stays stationary, yet still covering her breast. Tea closes her eyes, deciding to just enjoy what contact he is allowing while hoping that later, when they're alone in their motel room, he'll do more with his hand than he currently is.
Tea is taken by surprise when she feels Todd's body press toward her and his other hand lands on her other breast. She has to stifle a moan as both of his hands begin to gently squeeze her breasts. When his fingers begin to explore and discover her nipples, Tea quickly jumps up, startling Todd.
She grabs Todd's hand and pulls him out of his seat. She quickly leads him out of the theater.
As they return to the sidewalk outside the theater, Tea still has a tight hold on his hand as she tries to pull him down the street toward their motel. Todd doesn't allow himself to be pulled any further, though.]
Todd: Are you this hungry that you had to make me miss the end of the movie?
Tea: What?
Todd: I was really enjoying it.
Tea: Yeah, well, I was enjoying...
Todd: If you were enjoying the movie too, why'd you pull me out like that?
Tea: Are you really going to do this?
Todd: Do what?
Tea: Pretend that what we both know happened in there did not happen.
Todd: We were watching a flick. Why would I pretend we weren't doing that?
[Tears of frustration threaten Tea's eyes but she stubbornly refuses to allow them to form.]
Tea: Right. I should have known better than to expect you to acknowledge or be interested in continuing what you were doing.
Todd: I was watching a movie.
[Tea loses her temper and raises her voice.]
Tea: Then who the hell was it who was feeling me up in there?
Todd: Keep your voice down, Delgado.
Tea: Why should I? You do that and then you back down. I'm so tired of this pattern.
Todd: Well, obviously you didn't like it or you wouldn't have been so quick to stop it.
Tea: So, you admit you were feeling me up?
Todd: If you don't lower your voice...
Tea: What will you do, Todd? Will you take me back to the motel right now? Knowing you, I doubt that.
[They both stand quietly for several moments. Todd takes several steps away from Tea and leans against a light post. Tea waits a moment, trying to calm herself down, not wanting to say anything more that might hurt him. Finally, when she feels calmer she approaches him.]
Tea: I'm sorry, Todd.
Todd: Sure you are.
Tea: I am. I swear, I am. I didn't mean that.
Todd: Yeah, you did.
Tea: Okay, I did, but I didn't intend to hurt you. I was hoping we'd go back to the motel and enjoy ourselves. When you shut down on me again, it hurt. I was disappointed. I felt rejected. I regretted taking the chance of stopping what we were doing in there. I really was hoping that we'd go right to the motel and continue. I didn't stop you because I didn't like what you were doing. I stopped you because I liked what you were doing too much.
Todd: You don't have to say that.
Tea: I'm telling you the truth.
[Tea moves even closer to him and whispers as she continues speaking to him.]
Tea: I stopped you because I knew that I couldn't stay there, experiencing what I was experiencing with you, and not respond. How could I stay quiet when you were turning me on that much?
Todd: So, you were okay with it?
Tea: Yes. It was incredible. I knew it would just get harder, though.
Todd: Is that possible? They seemed pretty hard already.
[Tea smiles as a slight smile briefly appears on Todd's face before he forces it to disappear.]
Tea: They are hard...because of you. You're very good at that. You know just how to touch me. I wish I had known you in high school. I would have enjoyed going to the movies so much more than with the boys I knew.
Todd: You were my first.
Tea: First what?
Todd: First grope in a movie theater.
Tea: Really? You never... When you were younger, you never...
Todd: I'm not like you. I didn't exactly have a normal life when I was a teen or a kid.
Tea: Actually, I don't think I did either.
Todd: More normal than me, I bet. Look, I'm not saying I didn't do stuff. It just wasn't...
Tea: What?
Todd: It was different for me. Everything was different. There was a girl that I liked. And, I wanted to do stuff with her. I didn't want to hurt her, though.
Tea: You didn't hurt me just now.
[Todd refuses to make eye contact with Tea. She places her hand on his face and tries to force him to look at her but he refuses.]
Tea: I swear, you didn't hurt me. You didn't shame me. Whatever it is that you're thinking right now, isn't what happened in there.
Todd: You know, I watched that sick bastard. I watched how he treated women. He would grab at them...touch them. It didn't matter if they wanted it or not. He taught me to treat women the way that he did.
Tea: But you didn't want to treat Michelle that way? She was special to you?
Todd: Michelle? What makes you think...
Tea: I remember.
[Tea pauses for a moment, not certain if she should bring up that moment from years earlier when Todd forced her out of the room when Sam brought up a girl named Michelle in front of her. Ultimately she decides to try to discuss it with Todd, even if it ruins any chance of physical intimacy with him for the rest of the evening.]
Tea: I remember that day in the cabana with...
Todd: Let's just get something to eat and forget about all of this.
Tea: It's okay to talk about this.
Todd: You don't even know what this is, Delgado.
Tea: I'd like to know. I'd like to understand. She was your first love, wasn't she?
[Todd's facial expression and body language noticeably change as he shuts down emotionally as much as he can.]
Todd: Burgers or pizza?
Tea: Chinese.
Todd: You always have to be difficult, don't you?
Tea: There's a Chinese place across the street. I thought that would be fastest.
Todd: Fine. You go there. I'll go to the burger joint. We'll meet back at the motel.
Tea: Actually, I kind of am in the mood for a burger. Is it okay if I join you?
Todd: Whatever.
[Todd walks away. Tea follows him.]
chapter 89:
[Minutes later, Todd and Tea are having dinner together. They haven't spoken much. The silence is uncomfortable but bearable.
Todd watches with amusement as Tea tries to eat an extremely greasy and messy hamburger.
When Tea looks up at Todd, she's surprised to find him smiling at her.]
Tea: What?
Todd: Nothing, Delgado.
Tea: It must be something.
Todd: What? I can't smile just because I'm an upbeat, cheerful kind of guy?
Tea: Well, considering the fact that you happen to be neither of those things...
[To Tea's disappointment, Todd's smile quickly disappears.]
Todd: You're right.
Tea: I didn't want you to stop smiling, Todd.
Todd: I'm only allowed 4.6 minutes of smiling per year. I don't want to get caught going over my limit.
Tea: And, what would happen if you did? What if you actually smiled for, I don't know, 5 minutes in the same year?
Todd: It would be horrible.
Tea: Really?
Todd: I'd be forced to spend an equal amount of time with a perky person. I'd rather be in hell.
Tea: Do you think I'm too perky?
Todd: You cry too much to be perky. You do smile too much, though. But, you are a girl so I guess it's sort of okay.
Tea: Does it make you feel good when I smile?
Todd: Why would I care?
Tea: It makes me feel good when you smile.
Todd: Yeah, well, if that's the only time you feel good then you must feel lousy a lot.
Tea: You do smile, Todd, you know? You smiled just now. And, there have been other times during this trip and during our marriage.
Todd: That smile right now didn't count.
Tea: Why?
Todd: Because I wasn't smiling because I was happy or something stupid like that. I was laughing at you, Delgado, because you look ridiculous trying to navigate that burger without getting any of it on yourself. I don't know what the big deal is anyway. You don't see me caring if I get some grease, or ketchup, or whatever, on my shirt.
Tea: Well, I prefer that people not stare at me.
Todd: Clearly, you were not raised by wolves like I was. I'm about to take my shoes and socks off and put my feet up on the table. But, let me guess you'd disapprove of that, right?
Tea: I would think the restaurant's employees might not appreciate that.
Todd: Why should I care what they think? I earn more money from interest on my investments in one second than they do by working all week...heck, probably all month.
Tea: Did you keep in touch with your financial managers?
Todd: What?
Tea: You spied on me and I assume on Starr. I take it from what you've said so far that you haven't been in touch with Viki or Sam or...
Todd: Why are you grilling me all of a sudden about this?
Tea: I'm not. I'm simply wondering who you cared enough about to stay in touch with. I bet your banker became your best friend.
Todd: Well, we were always tight. But, I think he only loves me for my money.
Tea: Is that why you think I'm here?
Todd: I offered you money to go away but you didn't. You never did, Delgado.
[Tea notices the serious tone in his voice and also, perhaps, some wonder at the thought that she isn't with him because of his money.]
Tea: You're money isn't your most precious asset.
Todd: What is?
Tea: Your smile.
[Todd watches the smile take over Tea's face and eyes and is almost tempted to give in and smile again himself.]
Tea: Seriously, Todd, would you like to know what I think the most precious and appealing thing is about you?
Todd: No.
Tea: The love that you have for Starr. The way it shines through everything else. Even when you try to push everything that is good and decent away from you, that love never fades...it never diminishes. It just keeps growing stronger. That's why I can't understand why you're avoiding her. Why have you spent so much time away from her? Why haven't you called her?
Todd: Are you done yet?
Tea: I just want to understand, Todd.
Todd: I meant the burger. Are you done yet? You could take it back to the motel if you want.
Tea: I don't think I want anymore. If you want it, you can have it.
[Todd reaches across the table, picks up the remainder of her burger and shoves it into his mouth.]
Todd (with his mouth still full): Let's go.
[Moments later...
Outside the restaurant, Todd is quickly walking toward their motel. Tea jogs to catch up to him. When Tea's hand grasps his, Todd suddenly stops walking.]
Todd: You want to go for a drive?
Tea: We've been driving all day.
Todd: So?
Tea: Let's just go back to the motel. I'll take a shower. You'll exercise. You'll take a shower. I'll call my grandmother.
Todd: You're not planning to tell her where we are, are you?
Tea: I don't have to give her our precise location but I would like her to know I'm okay. I usually call her every week. I don't want her to worry. Besides, she's probably already heard from Carlotta about my abandoning my life in Llanview to run off with you.
Todd: So, she's probably frantic.
Tea: I don't know. I think she might understand.
Todd: Really?
Tea: She has often been better at understanding my feelings and motivations than I am at understanding them myself.
Todd: So, you want me to take a shower so you can talk to her in private?
Tea: No, I want you to take a shower so you'll be fresh for tonight. You'll also be changing your clothes.
Todd: No way. This is my lucky shirt.
Tea: You'll have an even better chance of getting lucky tonight if you shower and change. Maybe you could even shave.
Todd: Now you've gone too far.
Tea: You won't shave for me?
Todd: It's not like I'm asking you to lose any body hair for me. That's a big thing, Delgado. You're not getting my facial hair.
Tea: Why not?
Todd: I get it now.
Tea: What?
Todd: You made him do it, didn't you?
Tea: I don't understand.
Todd: Your boyfriend.
Tea: My...
Todd: You made him shave, right?
[Tea realizes that Todd is referring to R.J.]
Todd: You did, didn't you? Is that your way of marking your conquests? What do you do to the guys who don't have beards? Do you make them shave somewhere else? Somewhere lower? I bet you do the shaving yourself, don't you? Is that a fetish you have? Tell me, is this a pattern for you? You screw a guy and then you shave him. Well? Come on, tell me. Does it give you a thrill to shave a guy, to emasculate him?
[Despite her intentions not to allow it, Tea's anger overtakes her.]
Tea: Do you want to know, Todd? Do you really want to know?
Todd: Yeah.
Tea: I shave them first and then I screw them. That's my pattern. You don't have to worry about your facial hair, though. It's safe. I currently have no desire to shave or to screw you.
[Tea storms off towards their motel.]
chapter 90:
[As Tea walks swiftly toward their motel her anger increases. As she reaches the parking lot, she sees Todd's car. Within seconds, her purse is open, the car key is in her hand...the car door opens, she enters.
Todd stands at the edge of the parking lot watching his ex-wife steal his car. He knows she's ticked at him. He wanted her to be. He needed to put an end to the very real possibility that they would have gone too far tonight. He wasn't expecting her to speed off in his car but it does accomplish his goal of postponing their activities.
Todd returns to their motel room, quickly turns on the television for noise and plops his body down on the bed.
He knows that Tea will return when she calms down. She has to. She's Delgado. She always returns to him whether he feels he deserves her or not.
Todd stares at the television screen not caring what he's watching. Every few minutes he looks at his watch, wondering what time it is. Wondering where she is. Wanting her to return...not wanting her to return...worrying about her...missing her...loving her...hating himself for loving her...hating her for making him love her.
Hours later...
Tea is at a nearby casino. As she takes a break from gambling, she sits with a platter of food in front of her. She's not really hungry but she's tired of gambling and doesn't know what else to do.
She could go back to the motel but she doesn't know if she can handle that right now. She knows that she might find Todd gone. She might have to face yet another empty room with another empty bed. Even worse is the thought of facing an empty life again, without Todd.
Of course, Todd might surprise her and she might find him waiting for her. She knows, though, that all they probably would do right now is fight anyway.
Todd wanted a fight tonight. She knows that. She also understands it. In some ways she appreciates that he was the one who started the fight...that he ended any chance they had of pursuing a romantic evening together.
She wants to advance their physical relationship but it also terrifies her. Just thinking about it places her on the edge of what feels like a severe panic attack.
With any other man it wouldn't be like this. She has always been able to enter and exit relationships easily, only occasionally making the mistake of allowing any feelings to develop. Even those rare times in the past when she did feel something, were nothing like this...nothing like the pain that she felt when she lost Todd in the past and nothing like the pain she feels every time she allows herself to, just for a moment, believe that maybe this time their relationship will last. Maybe this time she won't end up completely alone, feeling empty inside. Maybe this time it could be safe enough for her to open up her heart completely, to feel all the pain that awaits her, to believe that he'll hold her and love her until that pain is finally forced out of her heart and she'll feel nothing but loved.
She wants Todd to make her feel wrapped in love, protected from the past. She wants him to give her hope for the future. She knows, though, that everything that she wants and needs from him are things that he's determined not to allow her.
She doesn't believe that he'll do it on purpose to hurt her but she knows from experience with Todd that, in an effort to protect himself, he'll continue to inflict pain on her. She also knows that he faces the same prospect from her. Her self-preservation instincts may not be as quick to react as his are but they can be equally strong and equally destructive.
Minutes later...
Tea stands outside the door to their motel room. She hesitates for a moment. The television is on inside. She can see the light reflected from it through the curtain on the window.
She's fairly certain that Todd is in there. Although, she knows that he may have been there earlier and then left, leaving the television on. She takes a deep breath, preparing herself to either face the angry man she loves or discover yet again that she's completely alone in the world, destined to never feel loved.
Todd sits completely still on the bed, staring at the television in front of him. He knows she's outside. He was looking out the window when he saw Tea approaching the motel in his car. He's already determined in his mind that if Tea saw him in the window while she was driving into the parking lot, he will simply explain that it wasn't her he was worried about...it was his car. He loves that car. Todd knows she won't believe him but he determines that he'll give her that excuse anyway. No way will she get the truth out of him. Not tonight.
As the moments pass, he stays on the bed, refusing to go to the door until she knocks. He won't give her the satisfaction of thinking that he's been sitting around for hours watching and waiting for her return.
Tea finally finds the courage and raises her hand, rapping it against the door.
There's no answer.
She waits a moment and tries again, this time knocking louder, in case he had fallen asleep.
There's still no answer.
Tea looks at the number on the door, wondering for a moment if she even has the right room.
Suddenly, she notices movement through the window to the side of the door. She looks at him...at his eyes staring blankly at her.]
Todd: Are you the delivery chick?
Tea: What?
Todd: The bag.
[Tea remembers the bag of food in her hand.]
Tea: Yeah, Todd, I'm the delivery chick. Let me in.
Todd: What's the secret word?
[Tea loses her patience and raises her voice.]
Tea: Dammit, Todd!
Todd: That was my nickname when I was a kid so I guess that's close enough.
[Todd opens the door and immediately takes the bag from Tea's hands. He walks back into the room and sits on the edge of the bed as he rips open the bag and inspects the contents.
Tea closes the door behind her and turns back toward him.]
Todd: What is this stuff?
Tea: It's most of the meal I bought and had no desire to eat.
[Tea turns on a light near the door which still leaves the room rather dark but she decides not to turn on any more light. In the dim light, she watches Todd as he starts devouring the food in front of him.]
Todd: How much did you lose?
Tea: What?
Todd: This bag says you went to that casino. How much did they get you for?
Tea: I didn't lose.
Todd: Are you tapped out?
Tea: No.
[Todd reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet, tossing it on the bed in her direction.]
Todd: Take what you need. I'll get more tomorrow.
Tea: I don't need anything.
Todd: What about the next time you run off in a hissy fit and gamble away thousands of dollars?
Tea: I did no such thing.
Todd: Whatever. Just take what you need.
Tea: Todd?
[Todd continues devoting all of his attention to the food in front of him and avoiding looking at her.]
Todd: What?
Tea: Are you mad at me?
Todd: Of course. How could you not bring ketchup?
Tea: I could go back and get some.
Todd: It's too late now. I'm almost done. Where's the beer?
Tea: I didn't bring any.
Todd: You're not very thoughtful sometimes, Delgado.
[Todd finishes shoving the rest of the food into his mouth and gets off the bed and grabs a can of soda from the dresser. As he returns to the bed, he pushes the food containers and bag onto the floor.
Tea walks toward him and picks up the trash and tosses it into a nearby garbage pail.]
Tea: I didn't know the room had a mini-bar.
Todd: It doesn't.
Tea: Where'd you get the drinks?
Todd: I emptied the vending machine earlier, at least of the stuff I like.
[Tea sits near him on the bed.]
Tea: We should talk.
Todd: That's what started all this and led to you running off on me and losing all your money.
Tea: I did not lose all my money. In fact, I actually came out a winner.
Todd: Really?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: How much?
Tea: Does that matter?
Todd: I knew you lost it all.
Tea: Fine. I think I won about ten dollars.
Todd: That's pathetic.
Tea: Well, I did win enough to pay for that meal you just inhaled.
Todd: You bet too low, didn't you?
Tea: I don't think so.
Todd: Sure you did. You played it safe. You would have won a lot more if you bet more.
Tea: No, I probably would have lost all my money. This way I came out ahead.
Todd: Ten bucks doesn't count as winning. That's nothing. I'll have to take you gambling sometime and show you how it's done.
Tea: Well, right now we need to talk. We need to straighten some things out.
Todd: There's nothing to straighten out.
Tea: There isn't?
Todd: We both know you screwed around, you got knocked up. There's nothing to discuss.
Tea: What about tonight?
Todd: What about it?
Tea: We had a fight.
Todd: Like we do every night.
Tea: Well, this fight was different.
Todd: Yeah, you took off before I had a chance to. I understand why you did, though.
Tea: You do?
Todd: Sure. You thought our relationship was getting stale so you wanted to change things by being the one who left this time. It worked out for me. I got to relax and watch some television.
Tea: Todd, be serious.
Todd: Seriously, I did watch television.
Tea: I mean it, Todd.
Todd: So do I.
Tea: Todd...
Todd: Tea, just back off and take a shower.
Tea: You want me to take a shower?
Todd: You stink.
Tea: I do?
Todd: You didn't tell me you took up smoking.
Tea: I didn't. I did spend hours in a smoke filled room, though. I will shower. Will you be here when I come out?
Todd: Why would I leave?
Tea: There are so many reasons, Todd.
Todd: I'll be here.
Tea: We still need to talk.
Todd: No we don't.
Tea: Yes, we do. I need it, Todd. I'll be back in a few minutes.
[Tea picks up one of their bags and goes into the bathroom. Todd lays back on the bed, relieved that he didn't yell or throw anything. She came back and they'll spend the night together. Even if she forces a conversation on him, he'll handle it if it means that he gets to spend another night with her.]
to be continued...
