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| THE HEART HAS WINGS II BY MARY CATHERINE |
CHAPTER 2 |
Todd wanted to high tail it to their rooms and hide out for the rest of the evening, but Téa literally dragged him through the front portal of the hotel and on to the street, saying she'd had enough rest and she wanted to see the town. She managed to convince Todd taking a stroll like the other tourists would throw less suspicion their way. It was a lovely evening for November, and although Todd groused and complained a bit, he followed when she set off on her own. They strolled around the small commercial district, stopping every now and then for Téa to ooh and ah over some trinket in a shop window. More and more she found herself charmed by the quaint colonial architecture, which provided wide covered arcades in front of most of the commercial buildings.
"I think I'm in love with this town," she said as they walked up the hill toward the town square. "It's like something out of a movie."
"Yeah. 'Zorro meets Rocky Horror Picture Show'."
"Todd!" said Téa rolling her eyes. "I meant that the town is probably very much like it was two hundred years ago." Suddenly, a motorcycle roared out of a side alley, nearly running them down. Todd pulled Téa to the side just in time.
"I don't think they had a lot of those back in the old days," he said sarcastically. He held on to her arm a little longer than necessary, which Téa didn't fail to notice. "The cops should be out writing traffic tickets instead of getting smashed in the bar," he growled as he let go of her.
When they finally got to the top of the hill, Téa had to stop for a minute and just stare at the sight before her. The Plaza Mayor was one of the most charming places she had ever seen. The square was dominated by the huge eighteenth century cathedral in the Spanish Rococo style that Todd irreverently dubbed "Wedding Cake on Acid." Every square inch of the façade was covered with elaborately gilded curly-cues and scrollwork. Several dozen plaster saints peered down at passers by from their neatly tiered niches, undisturbed by the hundreds of pigeons that also called them home. The harsh nighttime floodlights created weird oversized shadows against the whitewashed plaster work.
The plaza itself was delightful. The outside perimeter had a latticed pergola laced with colorful bouganvillas. The center of the square was graced with a lovely white wrought iron gazebo, where a group of teenagers had set up a boombox for an impromptu dance. On each corner, lively little taco stands were surrounded by boisterous patrons. Several of the restaurants that faced the plaza had tables set up on the sidewalk. Having worked up a thirst during their stroll, Todd and Téa decided to take a breather at one. They sat down at a table and ordered some drinks.
"Well, this certainly is a livelier place than the middle of the Baja desert," said Téa, sipping at her margarita as she observed the activities around the plaza.
"Careful now. You'll make me think you miss the scorpions and the rattlesnakes."
"And the iguanas. Don't forget those lovely things." She shuddered, licking the salt from her lips. Todd guzzled about half his Corona at one pull, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"This is weird, you know?" he said, observing her closely. "A week ago, I was living on the beach trying to drink myself to death, and now I'm here, sitting in a god-damned sidewalk café with you, of all people." He shook his head and took another sip of the beer.
"What do you mean, 'of all people'?" asked Téa, getting defensive.
"Don't get all snippy, Delgado. I only meant that I never thought I'd see you again, and now we're eating together and everything."
Téa took a deep breath, deciding the time was right to bring up a topic that was very important to their future. "So, Todd, what exactly does 'everything' entail?"
"Huh? You know, sometimes you don't make sense. It must be all that exposure to lawyer-speak." He rolled his eyes in contempt.
"OK, let me put it in plain terms then…did you mean it when you said you love me, Todd?" Although she tried to keep her voice steady, she was rather squeaky at the end.
"You have to ask?" he said, seeming surprised.
"Yes. Yes, I do. You see, you said that to me twice over the last few days, both times when you thought you were going to die." She noticed her hand was shaking, and she set down her margarita abruptly. "Were you just saying what you thought I wanted to hear, or was it real?" She stared expectantly at him, secretly holding her breath.
He took another sip of the beer, maintaining eye contact through the whole maneuver. When he set the bottle back on the table, he looked downright hostile. Inside, Téa felt her stomach drop. She had pushed too hard and now he was going to close down on her.
Just when she thought he was going to lash out with some angry words, his face softened. "You didn't used to be so insecure, Téa," he said softly. "But I guess I don't blame you, after I ran out on you after our wedding." Slowly, he reached over and covered her hand with his own. "I…I'm not good at this stuff…but….yeah, I love you." Téa felt tears of relief pricking at the back of her eyes. "Don't get all weepy on me," warned Todd, seeing her watery eyes. Leaving his hand in place, he drained the bottle of beer and signaled the waiter for another. "Look, Delgado," he said, turning his attention back to her. "I tried, I really tried to forget you. When I left Llanview, I figured that was it. I'd never see you again. But no matter where I went, it's like I could hear your voice in my head, see your face wherever I looked. You're hard to forget, you know?" They sat in silence as the waiter delivered another Corona.
"I couldn't get over you, either, Todd," said Téa quietly when they had privacy again. "I went out with other men, got a new job, but I was just going through the motions. Nothing could fill up the hole you left in my life."
Todd left the beer untouched and leaned forward, grasping her other hand. "I know you gave up everything to come with me, Delgado, and I swear to you that I'll try to get it right this time. I never thought I'd get another chance with you, and I'm not gonna blow it again."
Téa reached up a hand to caress his cheek. "Then I guess it's time to tell you something important, Todd." She took a deep breath to steady herself, reaching for the courage to say the words. Her fear of rejection was so near the surface, she was almost incapable of speech. Todd stared at her, the crease above his brow getting deeper as his impatience grew. He was opening his mouth to prompt her when she blurted out, "We're still married!" She grabbed the margarita and took a couple of big gulps, choking as the pungent tequila burned her throat.
His eyes opened wide in shock. "What did you say?" he said, ignoring her sputtering.
"You heard me," she said weakly, patting her lips with a paper napkin. "I never filed the annulment papers. Legally, we're still husband and wife." He was silent so long, Téa was sure he was about to bolt any second. Todd didn't like to be trapped. "So, that's why I asked about the terms of our….our being together. I don't want to pressure you…if you'd rather just be companions, that's fine with me, I won't…"
"Will you shut up?" he said. To Téa's surprise, his tone was playful, not angry. Looking up, she was shocked to see a rare grin on his face. "Let me get this straight…you didn't end our marriage. You still want to be my wife?"
"It's why I came looking for you, Todd. I was hoping we could go back to Llanview and try to get things sorted out…"
"I told you…"
"Yes, I know," she said, holding up her hand. "You don't feel you can go back now. I accept that, and I've made the commitment to go wherever you go. But…but…" Téa watched in surprise as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm tenderly.
"I'm glad you didn't get the annulment," he said softly. "I was afraid to hope, but I wanted us to be married again." Collapsing in relief, Téa leaned her forehead against their clasped hands, breathing hard to control her tears. After a long moment, she raised her head, her bottom lip clamped firmly between her teeth. She sniffed loudly as she planned how to broach the next subject.
"What?" asked Todd impatiently as he saw her searching for the right words.
"Uh, does this mean that we'll….that we'll be sharing a room from now on?" She bit her lip, fearing rejection again. Todd sat back, considering her. Téa tried to read him as he took a long drink from the bottle of beer.
"It's always about sex with you, isn't it?" he asked with a little shake of the head. Téa was preparing a defensive reply when Todd reached out a tentative hand and gently stroked her hair.
"I…I want us to be together, Téa, but you have to give me some time, OK? I need to get used to the idea, and… and I just got over the scorpion thing, you know?" Téa decided not to push the issue any further right then. She was relieved that he wanted to be her husband. If it meant waiting a while for total intimacy, well, she could live with it. She nuzzled his hand, showing her assent. "Let's blow this pop stand," he said, throwing some pesos on the table and drawing her to her feet. He seemed relaxed and even happy for once.
They strolled toward the plaza, and Todd reached out and drew Téa's arm through his. They exchanged a knowing look, and for the first time since their reunion, Téa allowed herself to hope that things just might work out after all.
It seemed like the whole population of Alamos had congregated in front of the cathedral, in spite of the late hour. Todd and Téa soon observed a strange custom, at least from an American perspective. The people were walking around the square in some type of ritualized promenade. All the women, young girls and couples were strolling around the square in one direction, while all the single men ambled along going the opposite way. There was much giggling going on as the young people flirted each time they passed by someone they were interested in. When a boy actually got up the courage to approach a girl, he would turn and walk along with her, under the watchful eye of her older relatives.
Téa managed to drag Todd into the fray and they made several circuits of the plaza. The men would all smile at Téa appreciatively, but the hard look in Todd's eyes let them know that she was taken, and to keep their distance. Again Téa was amazed that Todd appeared to be enjoying himself. Suddenly she felt him stiffen and turned her head quickly to see what had caused the change in his body language. He was staring at an exquisite little girl in a neatly pressed white dress. She was about six or seven years old, and when she laughed, which she did often, she displayed a gap where her front two teeth had fallen out. Her feet were settled firmly on the insteps of a handsome young man, who twirled around the dance floor with the little girl riding along. When the music finished, he pulled her up into his arms and she flung her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. Laughing happily, the man walked away briskly toward the ice cream stand with the little girl shrieking in excitement.
Téa glanced nervously at Todd and saw that his jaw was clenched tightly as he watched father and daughter walk away. Noticing that Téa was looking at him with concern, he grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the crowd, dragging her toward their hotel. He didn't say a word, although Téa thought she heard a muffled groan as they first set off. She gave up trying to get him to slow down or stop as he continued toward their inn with single-minded determination.
Finally they were back at Casa de los Tesoros. It was quiet in the bar as they passed by, the Federales having found a new watering hole. After escorting Téa to her room, Todd blurted out, "OK, then, I'll see you in the morning," and turned toward his own door.
Téa reached out and held him by the arm. "Todd, wait. Don't you want to talk about it?" she asked in a low voice, her eyes full of sympathy.
He shrugged, feigning disinterest. "There's nothing to talk about. It's another Mexican town, end of story."
"Seeing that little girl with her father upset you," said Téa, ignoring him. Todd shook his head vigorously.
"You're tripping, Delgado," he said forcefully.
"She reminded you of Starr." Todd looked angry.
"You read minds now?" he spat.
"It's OK to miss her, you know," she went on. "I miss her, too."
"Look, whether or not I miss Starr is not relevant, Delgado. The point is, I can't be with her. We've been through it all before. She doesn't need an old man as screwed up as me." He held up his hand to silence her. "That's enough. Good Night."
"Todd?" called Téa when he was a few steps away. "Would you consider sharing a room tonight?" She waved frantically, holding back his words for a moment. "We don't have to have sex," she assured him. "It's just that I got used to sleeping with you next to me in the desert and the palapa. I'll be lonely without you near me."
"I have these nightmares, Téa. You know that. I don't want to hurt you. Besides I can't sleep most of the time anyway."
"But you sleep better when I'm with you, when I'm holding your hand. And I held you when you had convulsions from the scorpion sting. I didn't get hurt. Please, Todd." Using her key, she opened the door and beckoned for him to enter.
He reached out a hand and caressed her face. Looking into his eyes, she saw a hint of tears there. "I can't," he said in a strangled voice. "Tonight I need to think." Téa held her breath, not wanting to pressure him. "But I promise you, Téa. There will come a night when I won't push you away." He leaned in to plant a light kiss on her lips, and then he was gone, disappearing through the door to his room.
Téa stared at the solid wood a moment before going into her own sleeping quarters. "And I promise you, Todd Manning, I won't let you, no matter how hard you try," she murmured.
