You're on your way...finally...no more of this waiting crap..
That's it...keep coming...find me, Nick!
Dark and secretive chambers within the shrouded interior of his mind were suddenly bathed in a blinding white light, highlighting and exposing every real and imagined failure to his subconsciousness with such intensity that he heard his own silent scream echoing in his ears.
There were no protective words to rescue him from the ensuing throes of near insanity.
Get out! Go back, Nick!
He wanted to call it quits for good.
Every torment that had ever infiltrated and done a number on his mind and heart was rising from its shallow grave to do a devil's dance directly in front of him.
Don't...get away from me!!
But they were already there and demanding his attention with merciless persistence.
Look...take a good look, Todd...this is your life...
The long dormant demons were hounding him with cold-blooded determination, and an awakening knowledge plunged through him like a sheath of steel. He knew them well. These were the underworld forces which had gnawed at him from the inside all these years and had never let him forget a single word of distrust and rejection or the agony of his personal defeats...
"You'll never amount to anything...you disgust me...I wish you'd never been born..."
"You're evil...all you do is hurt and destroy..."
"In the eyes of everyone in this town...you'll always be a rapist..."
"Stay away from me...you're sick..."
"Who could ever love you?"
"My name is Pete..."
God...no...not all at once...I'm not ready!
Nick had been the one who kept the lid on his Pandora's box, but many times the tormentors had inadvertently escaped, bringing with them the inner rage of his early, loveless existence. Then not even Nick had been able to stem the horrific tide, and the result had been actions which were unthinkable to his mind now.
Shuddering and trembling with fear while the last drop of real sanity was about to leak out of him, he thought of all that he would lose...got to hold on...
I have a life to live...I have a daughter who needs me...
I want to get back to my world...to see those eyes again that looked deeper into my soul than anyone else has...
Following the intense wash of light, the fusion of one mind into another began, the force of it like a fiery detonation sparking a chain reaction throughout his body.
We are one...at last...
Upon completion of the fusion, the brutal realization of all that he had endured and everything he had lost slowly subsided, and an all-consuming revelation was working its way into every mind cell that he possessed. Gone was the hollow emptiness he had carried around with him year after year. Gone was the need to shield himself from every threat to his crippled psyche. Gone were the dancing demons. Wait...maybe not totally gone...
The prancing ghouls were still floating around awaiting some kind of verdict from him, but this time he knew with the strongest certainty he had ever had that he could now make a final pronouncement on their fate. He had looked the other way so many times -- never really facing them or dealing with them directly. Others had tried to force him to do it...Slider, Sam, Viki...and especially...
Only one person had come closest to finding out his hidden truth. He reasoned that Nick had known how doggedly she had pursued this truth, and he had make it his mission to keep her from him. It hadn't been all that difficult. He had resisted her, too, because he knew he had no control over the phantom voice within him. But for one incredible night, Nick might have succeeded...and she would have been an aching, bittersweet memory for the rest of his existence. Instead, he had thrust his will out into the open and fought Nick...fought him just as he had fought Pete...for the sake of one woman's love and trust. I won that one...for myself and her. I made sure you wouldn't ruin that night...
Looking back to those miraculous, stolen hours with her, he had thought then that the other side of his soul could be controlled, but he hadn't counted on his near death experience in the Lamborghini. Nick's timing had been perfect. I was at my weakest and you weren’t about to give up then...you chose your window of opportunity well...
All those years...I never knew exactly who you were.....but this time you weren't so smart...you made some mistakes. You thought you could keep Tea from me...and you let another woman into your life...a woman who rejected you...
As Sherry held onto Nick, her warm fingers were stunned by the sudden clammy feel of his skin. Not allowing her eyes to once flicker away from him, she watched with a soft, pained expression as he had drifted away from her -- his mind and soul visibly retreating, leaving behind eyes that were wide and glasslike. Even knowing that his exit from reality was the only way, the tears left their mark on her face. You were a real man to me...
The weight of his body tripled as he slumped against her, but another man rushed in to gingerly lift him up.
"I've got him, Sherry," Slider said with steady calm.
"Is he...dear God...is he..."
"He's okay," Slider murmured under his breath and shouldered the unconscious man with a grimace.
Turning his head, Slider directed his next words to the speechless faces around him. One face was anxious and protective...Sam. One face was reflective and stoic...Viki. And one face was glowing with what looked like eager anticipation...Tea.
"We have to wait."
***************
No more waiting...this is it...my mind is made up...
There would be no confirmation of said presumed dead fugitive. Edwards slowly lowered his gun and replaced it in his shoulder holster without a sound. After assessing the situation, he had known that gut instinct would be the only reliable way to settle this. He had always trusted his instincts, and they had never let him down. Ultimately, there would be some kind of resolution, but he would not be a party to it. A man such as Todd Manning...a man he really didn't know, but felt he had a better understanding of from everything he had heard..that man deserved a chance to be helped. Let Sykes play detective on his own. The generous bonus that he had been promised didn't seem terribly important anymore, and he suddenly realized that he was really a very happy and contented man in his less than desirable home and neighborhood.
"Besides," he thought with a wry smile to himself, "I never actually saw Todd Manning."
Easing himself back from his locked-in position against the wall, Edwards retreated with catlike steps down the corridor. Good luck to you, Todd!
***************
They all nodded obediently to Slider's statement without question. Slider was most amazed that Tea had not left her spot to run towards her husband while witnessing Nick's departure. No...I forgot...she's all class...she let Sherry have her moment with him...
Sherry studied Tea with a look of profound concern. How she had born up under the circumstances Sherry could not imagine. Would I have been as brave or as tolerant? One thing is certain...she loves this man unequivocally.
Not daring to move, Tea waited in a state of tremulous excitement. Her large brown eyes betrayed this excitement, and she knew the others were aware of it, but she didn't care. No one else could really understand anyway. This had been her own private journey into a a world which was shaky and unstable with limitless hidden agendas, but she was finally going to come out the other side. I told you I would wait, Manning...we had a deal, remember?
***************
"Where are you?"
"Two parking spaces down from the house...across the street."
"Anything yet?"
"Nope...no visible signs of movement."
"I'm pulling in...further down. I want this done quietly, understand?"
"Copy that...standing by..."
***************
"Sam...some help..."
Sam moved swiftly, his body weight lifting up the opposite side of the large figure leaning against Slider.
"Lay him down."
They carefully lowered him to floor, positioning his dangling arms to the side of his body. Raising up, Sam studied the unconscious man and looked with perplexity at Slider.
"Are you sure he's okay?"
"Positive. He's in an in-between state now, but let me warn you. It could get ugly when he comes out of it."
"Ugly?"
"It's going to be a shock...a very big shock, Sam, and that's why I may need you here."
"What will he do?"
"I don't really know. Every case has been different. I'm just getting prepared."
This is just another cave...just another dark hole that I have to get out of. I see something...it's bright...straight ahead...
Okay...it's time...time to get the hell out of purgatory...
Sam's mouth opened to ask another question, but his voice broke soundlessly. The prone body on the floor below him jerked violently and shot upward like a missile, the previously lifeless arms clawing through the air as if they were trying to dig out of a pit. Amber eyes flashed opened, their pupils wild with primal fear and no awareness of time or place.
"Hold him, Sam!" Slider shouted, his strong arms already meeting the force of the body careening toward him.
The thrashing body slammed full force into Sam's chest as he attempted to get a grip on him. Grunting with pain and more than a little surprised, Sam grasped for the flailing arms, only to be knocked aside as if he were some featherweight impediment.
"Now, Sam...hammerlock him!" Slider yelled again, as he simultaneously wrapped both of his arms around the twisting form. These arm restraints only seemed to unleash more caged energy from the unwilling prisoner, propelling him forward and dragging the men along with him. Seconds later, all three men crash landed on the floor -- two of them draped over the third man, keeping him flat on his stomach and pinning him down.
Made it!!!
Images smashed and splattered all over the brain that was not fully awake as he broke through the zone that had kept him so isolated and weak. Each image by itself made no sense, and his mind could not piece together anything in reality around him.
Rewind...fast forward...rewind.......running...cave...falling...racing... car...helicopter...grass...stars...deep blue sky...touching...kissing...beautiful, brown eyes...
Shattering the momentary silence, a harsh outcry of the deepest hunger and need ripped through the air emitting currents of shockwaves that paralyzed all who had heard it.
