What he was feeling...it was as if the pit of hell had opened up its ravenous jaws to suck him in and initiate its eternal torture. Again, the vivid, pulsating sensations of Todd's memory droned through him like thousands of swarming insects -- repeating their merciless attack over and over on his defenseless psyche...stop, Toddy...take it away!!
How did you do it, Toddy...how did you blind me to this?
You needy worm...I warned you...I warned you not to get near this woman...she wants to change you, Toddy...you know that...she's worse than Rebecca or Blair...but you wouldn't listen, would you...you had to sample the forbidden fruit and now you're tainted by that...Spanish viper!
Turning his hanging head with only the dregs of his last, remaining strength, his eyes looked up and searched frantically for the human lifeline that had empowered him to get past all the other maddening distortions in his reality. If I can reach her...if I can only reach her...
Tea's sense of triumph rapidly sank to a lower depth as she saw Nick collapse like some toppled fortification to the floor. I've hurt him...I've weakened him...but what have I done to Todd?
As she watched her brother's alter begin to crumble in front of her eyes, Viki held her breath. Whatever it is you said, Tea...it's working...it's sapping the alter's strength...
"Nick..." Tea hesitated momentarily. Do I go ahead with this? How far can I go without damaging Todd's fragile mind? If I don't try, Nick will make sure that Todd never surfaces again. Mentally blocking out the foreboding that was beginning to sway her decision, Tea continued her assault.
"Todd and I are one now...nothing can ever change that again."
Shutting out her brutal, damaging words, Nick's panicked eyes found what he was looking for as he connected once more with the woman whose presence had assured him that his place in the world remained intact. Her dark eyes were looking at him in bewilderment...and could it be...yes...empathy. This was all he needed. She was still with him.
"Silence!" Nick voice savagely raked through the air, and he whipped his head around -- his body snapping back from its crumpled state and rising up with renewed power.
Tea gasped as she saw the being in front of her rearing up to a height that seemed even taller than before -- his nostrils flaring and his eyes darkening into vacuous eyes she remembered from other times...eyes that had no mercy or compassion within them.
"You think that a passionate romp in the grass makes you and Todd one forever? Guess again, Delgado...that meaningless, sexual escapade didn't bind him permanently...not unless I wanted it to. You never did know who controls Toddy's destiny in all this. So he had a little fun...he's a man, after all...he needed it!"
This is Todd...I have to remember this...before I scratch his eyes out!!
"Nick, you're the one who doesn't know anything...this wasn't just fun and games for him. He came back from a mind locked up by a bloodthirsty madman, and then chose me as his partner for life...not you, Nick...me!" Tea's hand hit her chest forcefully while tears formed under her eyelids.
"Your mistaken belief...par for the course with you, Tea," Nick cut down her forceful statement as if it were useless information. "You always did imagine with your nauseating female arrogance that you had this life altering power over him...that your love could magically control his baser proclivities, but you only knew what Toddy allowed you see."
"Todd let me see into his soul that night!" Tea exclaimed -- her eyes blazing now with crazed frenzy. I know I'm losing it...I can't stop it...he's mocking me!
"Well, then...why didn't you see me?" Nick hissed -- his body towering over her and his face suddenly thrust up into hers. "I'm part of his soul, right? You just thought you saw all of him...come on, Tea....confess ...you knew there was more to him than he would ever let you know. He didn't exactly give you a free pass into the hidden interiors of his mind, now did he? Face it, lady...you don't deserve to be with him...you don't qualify as someone he would even trust."
A stab of crippling insecurity jabbed at her heart as she listened to him. It's true...I did sense that he was keeping something from me that night...even lying next to his warm body after our night of love...I knew I didn't know everything...he held something back...and it was you...
Victory is so sweet...oh yes, your whole theory is shot to hell, Tea...whatever is was that you and Toddy shared...sexual or otherwise...it's over...poof...gone!
************** The electric guitar's funneling rhythm bounced off the inner confines of the car. The occupant inside unbuttoned his top shirt button and loosened his tie. His dark brows knit together with irritation and perplexity...what the hell is taking him so long? This was what he got for sending in someone else...he should have made his own investigation. Edwards could care less really...it was only an extra bonus for him. This is much more for me...it's personal between me and that psycho...
Manning had come between him and his hopes of a great career, and just possibly, a woman to fulfill the role of a political wife. Tea liked me...there was that time we were getting to know each other at the club...she was trying to get away from his influence...we could have started something...
Then Manning had to make another appearance and spoil everything...Okay, Edwards...it's up to you now...if Manning is in there...I want him...because he's going to pay...oh yes...he's going to pay dearly...
************** Slider's eyes widened with amazement at the almost supernatural resilience of the alter who commanded the attention of everyone near him. Suddenly, every hope he had put into Tea seemed dashed to bits by what he was hearing. I've been wrong...I thought that she would be the one to bring him down...
"Qualified?" Tea lashed out at him without thinking, "What makes you the expert on Todd anyway? Do you think you can wipe out what he feels at any given moment or that you can pass judgment on the people he loves? You're the one who's not qualified, Nick...you're a braggart and a total fraud... and a much more twisted version than the man I married."
"Is that what you think, Delgado?" Nick said coldly, "or are you just trying to convince yourself? Honey, you know nothing about the man...only what you wanted him to be...Toddy is the twisted version...always has been. I've been the sane one...the one who kept him grounded all these years...without me, your complex, befuddled lover would have been in an insane asylum years ago."
I hate him...I'm actually beginning to despise this being who possesses Todd...or is it because he's speaking the truth? Did I ever know Todd? Was I just too proud to admit that he would never change for me?
He got to you, Tea...he's a verbal tactician, and you could never win with him in a battle of words...he'll undercut you every time...it's his specialty. Slider resisted the urge to shake his head. Nick must never believe that he has won. Something has to be done...if she can't do it, then I'll have to step in...but I already know how this will end if I do.
Sam felt the prickly feeling of fear take off and race through him. Not once had he ever considered the fact that Todd might indeed never return. Just knowing that he was alive had been enough, and even though an alter had taken over Todd's life, Sam's logical, and every hopeful mind had reassured him that the force of all of their combined support and verbal challenge to Nick would rally Todd to come out from his self-imposed prison. But it wasn't working. Not him, not Viki, not Slider...not even Tea seemed to be able to shake the alter up enough to vacate Todd's reality. Nick has successfully pigeonholed Todd into some uncharted area of his mind and won't even let him speak...where did you go, Boomer...why can't you find back?
Listening to Tea's impassioned words, Viki had been painfully aware of just how similar the unfolding scene was to scenes she had been a part of in her own life. How many people in her life had tried to get through to her and failed? She had been impossibly irrational and stubborn in several of her alter transformations -- never allowing anyone to talk her out of her demented machinations. You have to want to do this, Todd...you have to want to survive...and you have to wait for just the right moment...the moment when your alter releases control of you...
The dim light did nothing to hide the stricken faces of the group in the shadowy hallway, and their tight, hollow-eyed features looked strangely familiar. It reminded Sherry of a moment when she had been the bearer of bad news to the family of a young boy involved in an accident. She would never forget the tense, apprehensive looks on their faces or the awful, depleting feeling that she would be the one to make those looks take on another dimension -- a dimension of grief and hopelessness.
The one face that made the most impression on her was that of Tea. There was such a fighting spirit within her. It was as if all her intellect and energy were being directed like a compass to find the lost soul of a man she loved. Maybe he's not there anymore, Tea...maybe you should accept it...trying to call him out again...it just may kill him...
"You give yourself way too much credit, Nick," Tea retorted, but realizing that she had lost a lot of ground. "Let's see...you were responsible for every decision in Todd's life...or at least, that's what you seem to be saying. I guess he didn't bother to listen to you when he married me."
"There was no danger from you, Tea...I had it covered. I let Toddy have his sham of a marriage for his peace of mind. Understand this...Toddy had no intention of making it permanent...ever."
Well, then, who got down on their knees and proposed to me? You just don't want to acknowledge anything about Todd and me, Nick, because to do so would mean someone else would have to fade into the background...and you have to have her, don't you? Todd knows this...he told me...he gave me the name before he disappeared again..."the only one who can bring him down"...
"Sherry," Tea looked past him and addressed the woman who had fallen silent the minute she had come up the stairs. "Sherry, we met before, remember? He's doing all the talking here, but I want to hear your side. I think maybe all of us here, and especially Nick, would like to know just how permanent you are in his life."
A strange, indefinable emotion pressed in and placed a stranglehold on Slider's heart. Sherry...she's going after Sherry...why would she do this? Wait...could Sherry be his Achilles heel? Oh my God...what have I done?
