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| IMPOSTER BY MARIQUA |
CHAPTER 57 |
Sherry walked up to Slider's door and tried to assume the cool composure she normally displayed at the hospital. Outwardly she was the picture of serenity, but inside she was battling a range of emotions that threatened to unmask her demeanor. Behind this door was a man she knew very little about. Her initial assessment of him had been that he was intimidating, vain and extremely suspicious. None of these characteristics appealed to her, and she had been on her guard with him from the outset. Yet somehow in the days following their first meeting, she had seen some cracks in his armor -- the largest crack appearing the moment his lips had touched hers. The kiss was not what she had expected at all...it didn't seem to fit any of her preconceived notions about him.
Well, here goes...if I'm good, I'll clear this up once and for all...if not...
The knock at the door acted as an alarm inside Nick's head, and he struggled to bring himself back to some sort of noticeable complacency. The minute he had hung up the phone, he had begun to fantasize, and he had immediately forced himself to get up and find something in Slider's closet that would make him more presentable. A glance in a mirror had told him that he looked okay except for the shirt he was wearing. Leaning against the cane that Slider had given him, he pushed through the assortment of shirts hanging in the closet. Not bad, Slider...yeah...this will do.
The polo shirt he selected was expensively cut, and a warm, dark heather brown, and as he twisted his body with difficulty to get it on, he wondered why he was going to all this trouble. She's seen me at my worst..but I want her to know I can look good when I have to.
Running a comb through his long hair which blended into a mixture of rich brown hues, he surveyed the effect in the mirror. You always did have the looks, Toddy...
For once he was out of his element and knew it. This was an area he'd never crossed over into -- even though he had flirted and conquered before. None of that had prepared him for this...this urgent need that had taken over his spirit and compelled him to behave in ways that were foreign to him. The intensity of what he was feeling was frightening and yet completely exhilarating at the same time. Never had he felt more alive as he seemed to teeter on the edge of a precipice that promised no limits or boundaries. Even when he had taken over for Todd, nothing he had experienced compared with this...and nothing made him as determined to survive.
Opening the door, he could only stare at the vision before him. Her soft, delicately chiseled features against the jet-black of her hair were more startlingly vivid next to the deep raspberry of the long, flowing dress. Nick squeezed hard on the cane and steadied himself as he tried to subdue his reaction to her beauty.
As Sherry saw the door open, she expected to breeze in with her usual small talk, but this time she was caught off guard. It wasn't just what she was seeing on the outside--even though his striking, dark features were enough to make a dent in her reserve. It was more what was coming through in his normally contemputous, hazel eyes that made her want to fly out of the room. Gone was the haughty attitude she had seen at their introduction to each other and gone was his assumed superiority. Instead she was knew she was getting a rare look at the soft underside of his crusty, unapproachable facade.
"Hello Nick," she almost stammered as she walked past him.
Hello... beautiful...
Slider unlocked the door to his office and shook his head at the mess on his desk. It was his mess, but sometimes he found it amazing himself that he could find anything on it. These days he had been even more prone to leaving things undone. Maybe it was because of Nick...maybe it was something else. His mind was wandering a lot more now than it had before Nick had come.
Crossing over to his overstuffed bookshelves, he pulled out a volume and laid it on his desk. It was one of many reference books he had gone through over the years, but now he needed it more than at any other time. The title had even more significance now for him as he thought about all that Nick had told him and the enormity of the task that lay ahead. There were times when I wondered about you, Z, but I didn't think he would ever come back. Now I find out that there was another inside of you...and maybe more..
"Have you had lunch yet?" Sherry began and crossed over to the chair nearest the sofa.
"Yeah...Slider fixed me something before he left," Nick said watching with fascination as she floated gracefully into the room.
"How about something cool to drink? I could use something myself."
"Sure...thanks." Whatever you say, Dr. Sherry...
Nick ambled slowly back to a chair and propped himself up against the edge of it holding onto the cane for support. Silently he cursed the fact that he was still not strong enough to get around well on his own. You've never seen me at my best, Sherry...
As nonchalantly as she could, Sherry walked back in the room and handed him the ice-cold glass of soda--steeling her tremulous nerves as she met the powerful pull of his eyes. His fingers touched the tips of hers briefly as the glass exchanged hands, and for an instant she saw a flicker of light pass through those eyes.
"Did you work today?" he asked innocently enough as she seated herself across from him and carefully straightened out the folds of her long dress.
"Yes...yes, I did. I went in this morning, and it turned out to be a quiet Saturday. I got to cut out early today." Damn...I need to get this over with!
"You probably needed the break." She looks...unbelievable...and she's here with me...alone...
Slider flipped past the title page which read, Disassociative Identity Disorders - A Study of Case Histories, and scanned the Table of Contents. Some of the histories were familiar to him, but there were others that he had forgotten about.
Somewhere in these pages would be some clues -- perhaps even a case history with similarities to the one he was faced with. All he could think of was the hatred he felt toward Peter Manning for what he had done to an innocent boy. This new knowledge would plague him, and until he fit together the torn pieces of Z's life, he would not rest. There were so many questions to be answered about what had happened in-between, too. The things Todd had done in his past could be tied to this disorder either directly or indirectly. And Nick. Nick was the caretaker of all that was Todd. I've got to move fast.. Nick may not want to hang aound after he's healed up. There is a danger in him getting better...he'll want to live for himself only.
"Nick...", Sherry brushed a strand of hair from her face and paused as if formulating exactly what she wanted to say. "Nick, about last night..."
So...you rushed right over here after work...let me guess...you want to have a heart-to-heart....
"Yeah...what about it?"
Sherry sensed immediately that he was on to her, but she pursed her lips and continued matter of factly. "Nick, I think we need to talk about what happened...with us."
"So...talk." I'm not going to make this easy for you...you should know that.
"It wasn't something that was supposed to happen," she said sharply as she heard the defiance in his tone.
"...and you don't know me...nor I, you. It was a moment...that's all...nothing more."
Nick leaned back in his chair and eyed her carefully. She meant every word that she was saying. He could tell that. There was no attempt on her part to camouflage her feelings. Yet he knew something that she didn't. He knew that she was in denial.
"Tell me something, Sherry...because I'm a little lost here...you're calling what happened between us last night a "moment", he challenged with a wicked kind of look. "I got the distinct impression it lasted much more than just a moment."
Her hands felt cold as she held them securely in her lap and tried not to cringe at the truth of his words. Right! You have me on that one, but you're not going to prevent me from doing what I have to do.
Very briefly a flash of anger had surfaced in her eyes, and Nick swallowed hard as he realized that she might her get up and walk out on him. Assuming a more conciliatory tone, he spoke again.
"Okay, Sherry...it's your call."
Sherry turned her head slightly still thinking of what she would say next. "I came over here to tell you this, Nick...I didn't want there to be any misunderstanding. This is the way I am...I guess I like things to be cleared up."
The big brush off...as if I couldn't have figured this out earlier. She's so determined that it's almost funny. What's she waiting for anyway?
Prince Charming may never wake up and kiss you Princess. You've got someone here...now...who could turn your world inside out...if only you'd let me.
"It must be nice to be able to control every little event in your life. Reminds me of your profession, Sherry...clinical and emotionless when you have to be, right?"
Sherry stood up and faced him -- every part of her small frame shaking. "You have a hell of a lot of nerve to talk to me like this! You don't know squat about me, and my "profession" is beyond your small-minded comprehension. I did Slider a big favor by coming to your aid, but you're a nobody to me...a stranger with most likely something to hide."
Grabbing her arm, Nick held onto her with every bit of strength he had as his eyes sought to appease her and will her not to leave. You're so angry...why are you so angry?
Suddenly the control she had based her life on began to ebb away, and she gasped aloud as she felt the hot sting of tears in her eyes. Infuriated that he had the audacity to question her motives and secretly feeling very exposed, she struck back at him again.
"Damn you!" she lashed out. She had always prided herself on her stoic conditioning and his words had uncovered her greatest fear -- that someone would guess that real doubt sometimes haunted and pursued her.
Nick held her arm tightly and lost all sense of objectivity as he saw her eyes filling with tears. The frustrated, incensed look on her face was changing into a look that caused him to rise quickly and move in toward her -- wanting to shelter her in some way from the pain.
Just as the night before, he was there in her space -- commanding her to come to him with his eyes. His long, artistic-looking fingers lightly traced the trail of her tears as they continued to run down her cheeks.
"I don't know why this is happening...this isn't me," she said trying to blot her eyes with her hands and brushing his fingers away disdainfully.
"I know why," he said almost in a low, husky whisper and let his hands settle on her shoulders -- drawing her still unyielding body firmly into his.
"You've been holding yourself up too long with nothing to show for it...I know all about this...I live this. That's why you're all wrong about what happened. You're a very smart woman, Sherry....come on...for once be honest with yourself."
It had all happened so fast -- so similar to the night before and as if it were inevitable that he would once more feel her body next to his. Every ounce of control he possessed was weakening with the passing seconds, and he didn't know how much longer he could hold off the stirrings of passion within him.
I've got you...I'm holding you...and I don't want to let you go...ever.
A door opened to the outer office unnoticed by the man deep into the text of the book he was reading -- his right leg slung up over one side of the chair and his chin resting in his hand. Light footsteps walked across the carpeted floor and the visitor peered around the corner of the door.
Lost in thought, Slider had no inkling that anyone was there, but a fragrant flowery scent hit his nostrils causing him to drop the last sentence he was reading and look up.
"Mr. Paxton? Slider Paxton?"
Slider's blue eyes expressed immediate surprise at the entrance of the classy looking woman wearing a sharp looking white summer suit with a brilliant red and white scarf slung across her shoulder. A pair of oversized, dark, Audrey Hepburn-type glasses hid her eyes from him -- giving her an almost movie star appearance.
Moving his leg down from the arm of the chair quickly, he rose from his seat and spoke.
"Yes...I'm Slider Paxton. How can I help you?"
As if completely relieved that he had given her the answer she wanted, she removed her large sunglasses and folded them methodically to put in her bag. Her business-like attitude changed, and Slider found himself staring into a pair of large, warm, intelligent eyes.
"Thank God...I didn't know if I would find you here at all. Sorry...you must think I'm very strange...my name is Tea...Tea Manning."
That the strangely comforting arms around her should be those of a man she had serious reservations was alarming, yet the pleasant sensation of leaning on someone else for a change was not lost on her. So I handled this badly...so what? It doesn't mean anything in the long run...this is just been building up inside me and I needed a shoulder...
An awareness that she was feeling helpless slammed into Nick and made him even more protective. Every thought pulsing through his mind centered on her and what she needed. You shouldn't feel like this...this is because of him.
"Look, Nick," she forced herself to disengage from him and tried to appear as unaffected as possible. "I know you think that there's something between us, but you're wrong. I can't say it plainer than that."
His eyes slanted and looked almost Asian as he listened to her little speech. Releasing her rather roughly, he shoved his hands into his pockets and slumped back into the chair. "Save it, Sherry. I figured this was coming. You don't trust me, and maybe you're right not to...there are things about me that would probably send you running...."
"Why do you assume that I would be shocked by you? I've seen plenty, Nick...maybe a lot more than you!." she retorted fiercely.
Seeing her shake her head in exasperation, he lifted himself up again, clutching his cane and wincing -- not with the physical effort but knowing that she was making her way to the door. He was becoming angrier by the minute as he realized that he had blown everything with her and that she was leaving with no backward glance at him. I'm not going to just let you waltz out of my life, lady...this isn't over by a long shot!.
Feeling his presence behind her, she stopped and readied herself for a final cutting remark from him. Half-turning, she heard her own voice sounding aloof and falsely confident.
"Nick, I'm sure that you have a life wherever you came from that you will want to go back to. You don't know need someone like me whom you barely know to replace that."
With lightning speed his arms thrust out on either side of her and his large hands pressed flat against the door imprisoning her in a small space -- his smooth, sardonic face bearing down on hers and his rapidly darkening eyes altering into slits.
"Don't you tell me what I need!"
