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| VOYEURS BY BEESA |
CHAPTER 7 |
Todd quietly enters Téa’s apartment, having already placed his bags in his own apartment. Téa left a small lamp on for him, and he notices that the couch has been made up for him with much more bedding than he needs. He grins at how many blankets Téa brought for him. He places the key on the kitchen table, feeling proud of himself that he didn’t try to keep it or make a copy of it...not that he could have one made in the middle of the night anyway...but, he knows that playing games with Téa this time around will be a surefire way to get kicked out of her life forever.
He resists the extremely strong urge to go into her bedroom. He knows she wouldn’t like that...plus, I don’t have a camera, he thinks, jokingly. Still, it would be wonderful to be able to check in on her. Just one quick glance. What harm could that do? He looks in the direction of the darkened hallway, but instead of acting upon his urge, he plops himself down on the couch. He leans his head back and runs his hands over his face, rubbing his tired eyes and sighing. He sits there for a few moments, adjusting to the silence, when he hears something. He turns his head in the direction of the sound, to hear better and to try to figure out what it is. It could be a TV or a radio in another apartment...no, it’s coming from down the hallway in Téa’s apartment. It’s faint, but he thinks he hears Téa singing. Since she told him that she would be asleep before he returned, his curiosity gets the better of him, and he gets up off the couch and walks down the hallway.
He follows the sound to a closed door. He stands outside the door for a few moments, listening intently to Téa singing softly in Spanish, and he hears a rhythmic squeak every few seconds. He realizes that he is about to invade Téa’s privacy, since he has no idea what is going on inside her bedroom, but he can’t stop himself. He turns the doorknob and silently opens the door.
The shaft of light from the lamp back in the livingroom is not enough to reveal anything in her bedroom. He’s just about to retreat, when he hears Téa’s hushed voice. "Come in, Todd."
Todd slowly walks through the doorway. He squints in the darkness, but he still can’t make out anything. He can only hear the persistent squeak.
"There’s a lamp about two feet to your right," she whispers.
"That’s okay. I’m sorry. I wasn’t spying on you, I swear. I just heard a sound and wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t mean to invade your space," he says, softly.
"It’s okay. You can come in. Go ahead, turn on the light."
He hesitates for a moment, but he reaches out and feels for the lamp, finding it easily and turning on the light. As the interior of the room comes into view, he sees her in a corner, causing his eyes to open wide.
Téa smiles gently at him. "Todd, come meet Jonathan."
Todd doesn’t move, as he stares at Téa, sitting in a rocking chair, holding a baby in her arms. He is suddenly overwhelmed with the thought that Téa has a baby...and it’s not his. His eyes fill with tears, as he takes in the beautiful sight before him. She looks so natural, sitting there, rocking her baby to sleep. He feels guilty that he has interrupted Téa singing to her child.
"I should go, Delgado."
"No, come here. I want you to meet him."
Todd slowly walks over to them and awkwardly stands nearby. "He’s cute."
"Yes, he is, isn’t he?," she says, smiling. "He’s amazing."
"How old is he?"
"He’ll be twelve weeks tomorrow. I can’t believe how big he has gotten. He eats like a little pig, don’t you, sweetie?," she says, as she snuggles him and kisses his soft head.
"I’m sorry, Delgado. This is wrong. I never should have invaded your life again. I’m sorry." He turns and leaves the bedroom.
Téa gets up and follows him, with Jonathan in her arms. "Todd, what’s going on? What’s wrong?"
"I’ll get my stuff out of that other apartment, and I’ll never bother you again, I swear."
"Todd..."
Téa is interrupted by a knock on the door. She looks through the peephole and smiles. She whispers to the sleeping baby, "Daddy’s home, Jonathan! Daddy’s home."
Todd wants to die. He is about to come face to face with the father of Téa’s child. He starts to sweat and breathe hard.
Téa opens the door and lets the man inside. "Hey, Stan, how are you doing?"
"I’m great, Téa. Sorry to do this to you, again."
"Oh, no problem. I love taking care of Jonathan, you know that."
"And, we appreciate it more than we can say. Normally, we don’t have these gaps in our work schedules, but I had to put in a double shift, since a flu bug has hit the precinct really hard. And, you already know that Mary got called in on an emergency, and we still haven’t found a new nanny yet, so..."
"No need to explain. You lead a busy life."
"Yeah, that’s what I get for marrying a doctor," says Stan, proudly.
Téa smiles at how obvious it is that this man admires and respects his wife.
"Mary left me a note, telling me she asked you to watch Johnny, and she mentioned that she brought that squeaky rocking chair up here, since it’s the only way the little critter will go to sleep. Sorry about that. Is it in the bedroom?"
"Yes."
"I’ll just go grab it."
"Okay. I’ll go get the elevator."
As Stan comes further into the apartment, he notices Todd. "Oh, hey, how’s it going? Sorry to interrupt your evening."
"No, it’s not a problem," says a bewildered Todd.
Stan returns with the rocking chair and the diaper bag. "See ya!," he says, as he leaves the apartment and joins Téa and Jonathan on the elevator.
A few minutes later, Téa returns to her apartment. She closes the door and leans against it, as she looks at Todd, who has his back turned to her and is looking out a window.
"You thought he was mine, huh?," she asks, softly.
"Yeah."
"And that upset you?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Todd slowly turns around to face her. He puts his hands deep into his pockets and shrugs his shoulders. He looks at the floor and shifts his weight from side to side a few times. "I guess because I always figured I’d be the guy you had kids with, you know?"
Téa looks at him, and he looks at her. A sad smile forms on her lips. "You figured that, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Interesting," she says. It’s all she has to say, since they are both thinking the same thing, and they both know it. Téa isn’t about to venture into the painful territory of their former private life together and what was lacking in that life. "Well, good night," she says, as she turns and walks down the hallway to her bedroom. She closes the door and locks it, because she feels the need to insure some distance between them right now.
Todd turns back around to stare out the window. He leans his forehead against the glass, cursing himself for all the ways he has failed Téa over the years. He cannot fathom why she is being so kind to him. He doesn’t deserve her kindness, her compassion, her caring. He is so unworthy, and he doesn’t know what to do to change that fact.
He turns back to face the room, and his eyes wander to a long, narrow table near a corner that is overflowing with picture frames. He walks over to the table and looks at the photographs. He picks them up, one by one, smiling at what he sees. He sees a small girl in a ballet uniform, and he is amazed at how little Téa has changed over the years. He sees photographs of Téa as a kid with Del and what has to be José and Enriqué. He sees a couple in wedding attire, and he figures they must be Téa’s parents. He looks closely at the woman...yes, he sees Téa’s eyes looking back at him. "I jumped into a filthy river for your necklace, did you know that?," he asks aloud, feeling strangely proud to be able to say that to her. "Wow, you guys were my in-laws...for a while. Go figure?" He picks up a photograph of Téa on the day she graduated from law school, holding her diploma up for the world to see. Her attitude just jumps right out at him, causing him to smile. "Go get ‘em, Tiger," he says, as he places the photograph back in its spot. He sees a photograph of a very young Antonio and his familiar sneer, and Téa is standing next to him, holding a toddler, whom he guesses to be Cristian. He envies Antonio’s and Cristian’s long history with the Delgado family. His eyes roam over a few more photographs, before stopping on one in a shiny silver frame. He picks it up, and tears fill his eyes. It’s a photograph of Téa and Starr, when Starr was just a baby. He remembers taking this photograph in the park. At the time, he thought he’d have that life forever, and he shivers at the thought of how quickly that all changed, and he lost everything. He notes with sadness how the photographs offer him an overview of the people who are important in Téa’s life, yet there isn’t a single photograph of him. He replaces the photograph of Téa and Starr, letting his fingers linger on it for a few seconds. He steps back a bit and surveys the faces before him one more time, and the sadness he feels begins to turn into something else...determination. "I’m going to earn my spot on that table, Téa. I promise you that," he says, quietly.
He slowly walks over to the couch and stretches out on top of the sheet-covered cushions, pushing the blankets to the floor. Knowing that Téa is only a few feet away allows him to relax enough to fall asleep.
to be continued...
