Diminutive comic actress pitted against Cindy in one episode of MTV's comedy (sic) animation Celebrity Deathmatch. While most of the matches on it have some kind of logic behind them, this one...I dunno. Maybe Eric Fogel and the rest of MTV Animation should take up a suggestion from the Internet and pit her against Cindy Margolis in a Battle of the Cindys (note: Yours truly did in fact write a story on this topic). By the way, the Crawford-Garofalo bout ended, as most Deathmatches do, in a tie. (See also MARGOLIS, CINDY.)
GERBER, RANDE:
See WORLD, LUCKIEST BASTARD IN THE WHOLE WIDE.
GERE, RICHARD:
The man has no idea how lucky he was. Very worthy, yes; honourable work with Tibet, definitely, but that ad (probably the most ill-advised spread in a newspaper this side of Simpson and Bruckheimer's "Visionary Alliance")... and Laura Bailey? What was he thinking? And why the Dalai Lama? Isn't it enough to have one heavenly creature worshipped by many in his life? (Now remarried to Carey Lowell from Licence to Kill... OK, we'll be charitable, Carey Lowell from Law & Order.)
GIA:
American model who lived fast and died young, but given that she shared Keith Richards' views with regards to excess probably didn't have a beautiful corpse. (Angelina Jolie played her in a movie for HBO.) Cindy was often compared to her when she started out (she was originally dubbed "Baby Gia"), except for the drugs and AIDS bit of course, for which we should all be grateful. Nowadays, you get people compared to her (see also BROOK, KELLY and GISELE).
GISELE:
Brazilian bombshell (allegedly) who those in the know (allegedly) have dubbed the next Cindy. Give me Laetitia Casta any day.
GOD:
Deity several of Cindy's more fervent fans consider her to a) be the main proof of, or b) be, full stop. Also name-checked whenever a particularly striking image of her is seen (e.g. page 126 of Playboy October 1998).
GOLDFINGER:
The name of Ian Fleming's house in Jamaica, a popular place for celebrities to stay. Cindy, Rande and Presley were there to see in the new Millennium on December 31, 2000 (yes, I am one of those pedants).
GOLD:
Exceedingly dull sport - though still preferable to boat racing - that Cindy has confessed to being terrible at, and indeed she only seems to do it for charity. It was at just such an event that Cindy teed off and accidentally sliced the ball into the crowd, and broke a photographer's hand - an unintended attack on paparazzi? Anyway, I bet Tiger Woods or Ernie Els aren't so adept at moving sinously.
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