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ALEX: I've got this water in my ear. Oh don't you hate that when you can hear water running around in there
JADE: Hold your nose and blow
ALEX: It's in there, I'm just waiting for it to drop out
(Alex jerks sideways down repeatedly, trying to shake the water out of his ear)
ADELE: Alex calm down
PJ: Come on Alex, Alex come on
ALEX: I'm just trying to catch it on the off
JADE: I thought I'd give myself a french manicure on my toes. (Alex takes a look and bursts out laughing) ALEX: Were you drunk when you did that? JADE: No I wasn't ALEX: Oh Jade, even I could do that better than that
JADE: Alex? ALEX: Jaaade? JADE: Can we catch fleas off the chickens? ALEX: I don't know. I imagine so... JADE: Cos I've been itching madly. ALEX: Well... just have a wash.
JADE: How’s your tooth? ALEX: It’s my top one that’s biting on the bottom. JADE: Oh I see then. Just take that one out. But your bottoms, they don’t normally take out, they don’t like to, cos you’ve got a nerve that runs across here, and it’s an important nerve, and if your tooth lays on your nerve, and they take the tooth out and they hit your nerve, that side of your face can have a semi-stroke, so when you smile, you’ll smile but this side will be... ALEX: Does that mean I’ll have a wonky smile? I’ve always wanted one of them - like (pulls a wonky smile)... JADE: Have photographers ever told you that you got a better side than another side? ALEX: Er... no. I don’t know... No they haven’t. They’ve never said, 'Alright, can you turn the other side of your face please, I don’t like that side'
I'm too symmetrical.
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