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ALEX: Someone’s dinner is bubbling over
SANDY: It’s Kate isn’t it
ALEX: Yeah, she’s too busy throwing fruit around
KATE: Oh sorry Alex!
ALEX: But we got to eat those fruit afterwards. I’ve eaten them before and they’re all dented and shit like that.
KATE: I’ve never played juggling with these balls and then put them back in the bowl for you guys. I’d really like to know what I’ve done to piss him off so much, I really would.
ALEX: Well, nothing. It’s just that I never really talk to you. And like, you’re eating these things all the time...
KATE: No Alex, you’re always having a pop at me mate. You’re always having a go at me. You’re always not talking to me, and I’m just fed up of it. I want to know what I’ve done. You’ve stopped talking to me and you’ve ignored me for ages now.
ALEX: Oh but you’re not bothered though, are you really?
KATE: I am bothered.
ALEX: Oh don’t give me that rubbish, girl
(Kate stomps off to the bedroom to cry)
In fact Alex, can you just tell me, I want to have this out with you right now. I want to know what I’ve done to upset you so much.
(Jade storms out of the bedroom to confront Alex for upsetting Kate)
JADE: Alex!
ALEX: Oh Jade, not you as well, please
(Jade launches into motormouth tirade)
ALEX: This is another thing with you Jade, you don’t let anybody speak afterwards.
JADE: Go on then, tell me why. Why, then? Why did you?
ALEX: Because, right, the first time when it happened I did say it all. And now it’s just happened again. We’re getting all these fruit. When I’ve been eating oranges and I go through 'em, they’re all dented. People are juggling them and putting them back in. I see her doing it now and so I said it. I didn’t say it in a bad way, I just said, ‘look, can you just not do it’.
JADE: What’s your problem with her? Instead of just sitting there digging digging digging...
ALEX: WHAT’S MY PROBLEM WITH HER??!! What was with you talking about her when we were first here as well, about how you didn’t like her, so...yeah. 'Well it’s alright for me to do it.'
KATE: So what is it about me that you didn’t like? Because we got on well in the first week
ALEX: Because I thought you had your own mind up. Because of the first week, I thought everyone had got their own little mind up and because I’d said -
KATE: But we were getting on really well! I thought you and me got on really well
ALEX: Because I’ve said things about certain friends of yours and I thought, like, I’ll be ah well. It was just little bits here and there, and I thought, well I got no time of day
KATE: Fair enough, fair enough
ALEX: And then, the last week, maybe because we’ve all been poor together, it might have happened. Or because we were trying to get on better, but it just seemed to work, whatever we were doing
(As they are getting changed back inside the tube together, Jade pushes them over)
ALEX: Ooh. Aargh. Fuck!
JADE: Roll 'em!
ALEX: I can't find my bloody jeans!
JADE: Time's up! Pull it off!
ALEX: But you've got to try and get us out though. You can't get us out!
JONNY: Jade, pull!
ALEX: Aaahh, Aaahh! Oh fuck!
JONNY: Alex is hanging onto her
JADE: His face is near her minge!
KATE: No it's not
ALEX: It's not at all
JADE: Yes it is! Alex's face is near her minge!
JONNY: Jade, tickle Alex and Kate. Tickle 'em!
JADE: Alex is biting her tits right now!
ALEX: I'm not biting 'em. Alright, I'll do it now! Arrr-!
JONNY: Tickle 'em, tickle 'em!
JADE: It's not working!
(Jonny drags them feet up on their heads)
ALEX: What are they trying to do now, break our necks?
JADE: Quick! Pull! Pull! Aaaahhh! Pull! He's biting! AAAAAAAAHHH! Alex is attacking me!
KATE: Jonny please be careful of my ankle, because it's cut
JONNY: Well let go of Alex!
KATE: I've let go of him
JONNY: You haven't!
(Alex licks yogurt off the lid suggestively)
KATE: Right, Alex is a naughty boy
JADE: Dirty
KATE: Alex!
(She runs up to him and jumps up onto his back)
KATE: What you eating?
ALEX: Muller Light
KATE: Alex put me down! Put me down!
(Kate gets blobs of yogurt on her face)
ALEX: You look like you've been in a porno.
JADE: Alex I think you're very sweet
KATE: Absolutely.
JADE: Oh Alex you look so fit tonight. I've looked at you before... I'll just tell you this. I've looked at you a few times and I thought ooh you're quite nice, I've looked at you again and I thought model-looking, I'm looking at you tonight and I'm thinking Phwoarr!
KATE: I remember Alison, she was like, at first she thought you were pretty, then she thought you were pretty ugly when she found out your personality, but that's because you and Alison didn't get on. I certainly didn't like you in the first couple of weeks, I thought you were so rude and I thought you were really ignorant. But in the last week I've enjoyed his company - he's really come out of his shell and I've actually been able to sit there and think...You are really funny. But I didn't think you were in the first week, I couldn't believe... You're not the person that I thought you were.
JADE: What, you talking about me or you talking about Alex?
KATE: Alex. I think on the outside you would be totally different. I reckon you're not like this at all. ALEX: See, that's one of the things in this house, I think it's brought out the worst in me, and I think that's what's happened. Because when I've been in that diary room it's the only time I've started having issues with myself. And I suppose it's not the idea of...I mean, on the outside if there's something we're not too keen on we can always walk away (Kate nods in agreement) and we can't in here, and it's something I've never had before, so it's something I'm not very good at dealing with. That's why...
JADE: But the thing is, I find your sense of humour so dry and so funny. You do giggle me. I've laid out there a number of times and I'm getting squirt, and before I put my eyes - it's Alex, and I'm looking around and he's lying on the grass all cooped up like a little boy scout. He just reminds me of a little boy scout. You do. I know I've said sometimes horrible things to you...
KATE: So Alex, do most girls, like, just look at you and say -
ALEX: That's why I don't trust most women
KATE: So- Hang on. So most girls just look at you and say 'I'd just like to have sex with you, I don't want to get to know you , because I think there's nothing more to you than your looks'. Is that what happens?
ALEX: That's what I think.
KATE: You've got a personality. You've definitely got a personality, it's just getting to know you. Because at first I thought you were really good looking, but I thought I could never fancy him because I just didn't think he had a personality. But you SO have a personality. And now I've sort of seen it. Whereas if you'd been like that on the outside world and you had been like that with me at the beginning, I would have just walked away from you and never got to know you.
ALEX: See, that's another good thing about my job. My education pretty much finished when I was sixteen. But through my job, I like to think that the best education I have had is travelling, and meeting all types of people, and that's the best education I have had.
JADE: You've been sick in someone famous's toilet, hello! You've got more contacts than Bob Geldof!
ALEX: Yeah but that's not -
KATE: It's not about contacts though is it?
JADE: No but I'm just saying, he's in such a good circle. I'd love to be in that sort of circle!
ALEX: But what sort of circle is it? It's a superficial circle sometimes.
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