Heero sat on the edge of the chair, staring at the tall pilot who gazed out the window of their shared hotel room. He couldn’t stand it any longer; he wanted Trowa so bad he could taste it. Heero slowly stood up and enveloped the taller boy in a loose hug. Trowa turned jade eyes onto Heero; eyes void of any emotion or sign of life.
Heero was used to this kind of treatment. Trowa was always distancing himself and no matter how hared he tried, Heero couldn’t get Trowa to open up to him. Trowa allowed Heero to kiss him on his face and neck, reacting only slightly. Heero finally gave up and stalked out of the room with more than a little anger.
Trowa felt his insides crumble as he watched Heero leave. He cared so much for Heero, but every time they started physically interacting he remembered his years in the mercenaries and what happened… Shuddering involuntarily, Trowa looked out the window and saw Heero walking down the street, away from the hotel.

***

Trowa lay upon one of the two twin beds in the room. He watched the square clock upon the desk tick away the minutes: 12:30 am…1:35 am… 2:35am… 3:10am…
Trowa’s eyes opened with a start as he heard the key turn in the lock. Careful to appear asleep, Trowa watched a very drunk Heero stagger into the room. Trowa closed his eyes as Heero walked by his bed.
“Thump.” Trowa nearly jerked himself off the bed as he felt Heero lay next to him upon the small (and getting smaller by the minute) twin bed. Trowa could smell the beer strong upon Heero’s breath and the stench of recent sex clung to him.
“Oh, Trowa…” Heero murmured as he stroked the other’s thigh. Trowa stiffened as he felt Heero caress him. No telling what Heero could or would do in this state.
Trowa slowly slipped off of the bed, trying not to alarm Heero. Just as he was almost off he felt a cold, iron grip upon his upper arm.
“Not this time,” Heero drawled, the liquor slowing his speech. Heero yanked Trowa to him and drew close to his face. “You won’t get away from me this time.”
Trowa felt his heart throbbing wildly in his chest, yet face remained cool and expressionless. He would wait for the right moment, when the alcohol slowed Heero’s reaction just so, and get out of this awkward situation.
Heero clambered on top of Trowa, pinning down his arms and straddling the taller boy as one would do a horse. Heero kissed Trowa hard and he slipped his tongue into his mouth, tasting him thoroughly. He laid Trowa down the bed and kissed his way down Trowa's jaw.
Trowa did not return the kiss, but merely lay there allowing Heero to move upon him. He did not want to make Heero mad or agitated in this drunken state, he could go ballistic and really hurt someone. Heero took off Trowa’s shirt and worked his kisses down the other’s body. He reached the nipples and nipped at one and then the other, Trowa trying to hold back the desire to enjoy this moment of intimateness. Already his old memories were threatening to surface and he was trying as hard as he could to hold them at bay.
Heero continued his kisses downward and then stopped so he could take off his own pants. Smiling stupidly he stripped of his clothing and resumed showering kisses upon Trowa. Trowa lost attention upon Heero’s movements as the past threatened to envelop him.
He had pushed back these memories, and they had stayed there these past few years, hidden in the recesses of his mind. Now Heero was bringing them all back to him…

“Isn’t he a pretty boy?” One of the older men said, his grey beard muffling his voice.
“Yeah,” said a younger mercenary, his eyes looking hungrily at Trowa, “the young ones are always the best. I wonder if he’s a virgin? We’d be really lucky then!”

Trowa had ignored their talk then and blocked out their actions as he unsuccessfully tried to do now.
Heero had undressed Trowa while he had been under the influence of his past; memories coming back to haunt his soul and body.
“Wow Trowa!” Heero exclaimed, “You’re a lot bigger than I thought you’d be! I mean, you’re always wearing those tight jeans, I never realized they hid such a great treasure!” Heero’s eyes swept over the other’s body, his grip on Trowa’s arms slackening for a second. It was all Trowa needed.
Trowa kneed Heero between the legs and rolled the other boy off of him. Trowa rolled off the bed and onto the floor. Heero was taken aback, the alcohol slowing his reaction time, but he soon regained control of the situation by slamming a fist into Trowa’s face and dragging him back onto the bed. He angrily held the Heavyarms pilot, bruising his arms and drawing blood with his nails.
Now Trowa began to panic. Heero’s inhuman strength was not as affected by the alcohol as much as he had hoped. His eyes darted around, trying to find some means of escape. He couldn’t fight Heero because the other boy was so much stronger than him and could do some serious damage upon him. Trowa’s eyes darted around, trying to find some means of escape.
“Don’t worry,” Heero laughed, “You’ll learn to like it!”

“Don’t worry,” the older man had promised, “You’ll learn to like it. They all do!” He and the man laughed as they watched the small child squirm beneath their grasps. A large group of mercenaries drew around them as young Trowa was stripped of his clothing.
Trowa got a hand free and clawed the older man, blood streaking down the other’s face. The man howled in rage and stuck a dry finger into Trowa, the young boy growing limp from the pain. The men laughed at his reaction and continued to do so as they took advantage of him. They thrusted back and forth within the poor boy, releasing themselves into his mangled body.
He had been left to lie upon the dirty floor afterwards, drawing his clothes upon himself with a great deal of effort. He had vowed never to let anyone hurt him again, and that’s when he had learned to block away all his emotions; life was so much safer that way.

Trowa was jerked to the present as he felt Heero slide into his body without any lubricant. As hard as he tried, Trowa couldn’t block out Heero, a person he cared for so much it was impossible to do so. Heero thrust back and forth within Trowa’s hot, tight passage. He felt his climax building, panting loudly as the pain filled Trowa and silent tears fell across his cheeks. Finally Heero released his sperm inside of Trowa and fell on top of the latter, falling into an alcohol-induced sleep.
Trowa slipped out from under Heero and off the bed, blood trailing behind him. He curled up in a ball next to the bed, trying to decide what to do next.
***
Heero’s eyes blinked open and he sat up feeling like crap. He rushed into the bathroom as a sudden urge to throw-up hit him. This is going to be one hell of a hang over, he told himself.
Stumbling out of the bathroom, Heero noticed the room was empty. Heero took in the disheveled, blood sheets as Trowa’s bed. The night’s events flooded back into his head as he collapsed against the door. How could he have done that to Trowa; someone he cared for so much? Trowa probably hated him, no wonder he had left.
Heero walked to the closet and noticed Trowa’s suitcase still stood next to his own smaller one. Maybe he just wanted to think things over and will be back soon, he told himself, not sure if he actually believed it or not.
Sitting on the other twin bed, Heero looked at the amount of blood littering the sheets; he must have really hurt Trowa. He put his head in his hands and sat that way, waiting for Trowa to return.
To Be Continued…