The BATMAN Drinking Game

Rules and whatnot: This drinking game is based on the 1960's Batman TV show starring
Adam West and Burt Ward.  The rules are simple.  Simply use your favorite alcoholic 
beverage and take drinks accordingly.  Whoever is the most sober by the end wins.
That is, if anyone cares about winning by that point.  If you're playing this with
non-alcoholic drinks (though since it's a drinking game, I don't know why you would be)
then the last person who has to run to the bathroom wins.  

Special Note: If the director of the episode is listed as "george waGGner"
ignore the rules and just drink.  Constantly.  Trust me, you'll be much happier
that way.


THE HEROES
==========
Take a drink when:
    Commissioner Gordon acts classist towards O'Hara
          Drink twice if he threatens to transfer him to the sanitation department
    Batman calls Robin "old chum"
    The theme song plays (you know the one)
    Batman and Robin gaze at each other soulfully
    Bruce Wayne is somehow important to the episode
    Chief O'Hara is stereotypically Irish
    The Excuse du Jour that Bruce and Dick give Aunt Harriet sounds sexual
         (ex: fly fishing, going for a ramble in the woods)
    Aunt Harriet is late for something because of Bruce and Dick
    Commissioner Gordon fanboys Batman
         Drink twice if it's because he's going to the Batcave
    Alfred is seen cleaning something
    Batman tries to lay down the mack
    Batman freaks out over Robin
    Batman gets out of something with a gimmick
    Robin or Batman accidentally hit each other during a fight scene
    Alfred looks annoyed when he answers the Bat Phone
    Robin bitches while climbing on the Batrope
    Someone says "Batman and Robin are duly deputized officers of the law"
          Drink twice if its not Batman or Robin
    Batman seems utterly distracted by a woman
          Drink twice if he's utterly distracted by Robin
    Batman says something that could be construed as sexual to Robin
          Drink twice if it involves punishment or "being eager to please"
    Batman sounds like a public service announcement.  
    Batgirl outsmarts, outfights, or just plain outdoes the Dynamic Duo
    Batman and Robin wonder about Batgirl's true identity.  
    Batgirl's theme plays
          Drink twice if it is one of the episodes where there are words.

Take two drinks when:
    Robin says "Holy _______!"
    Alfred pimps the ladies
    It's actually night time
         Drink three times and tell me if you ever see it rain
    The batpoles screech when Batman and Robin slide down them
    Someone pops out of the window while Batman and Robin are on the batropes
         Drink three times if it's obviously a cameo from another show, or a 
         famous person, like Lurch or Santa.
    Batman poses melodramatically
    Batman and Robin are seen doing normal stuff in full costume
         (ex: going to a restaurant or a disco)

Drain your glass anytime Batman dances.


THE VILLAINS
============
Take a drink when:
    The Penguin quacks
    The Riddler cackles maniacally
    Catwoman makes cat noises
    The Joker uses a clown gimmick
        (ex: pies, confetti, hand buzzers, etc.)
    Someone kidnaps Robin
        Drink twice if it's -not- Riddler
    Someone steals the Batmobile
    The moll du jour expresses sympathy for Batman
    The villain thinks Batman and Robin are dead
    The deathtrap defies Earth Logic more than usual
    The sleeping gas -isn't- red
    The villain hides behind one his/her minions rather than fight
    The villain insults Robin
    
Take two drinks when:
     The Villain isn't one of the "big 4". (Joker, Riddler, Penguin, or Catwoman)
          Drink three times if the villain makes you say "WTF?!"
     The Villain tries to kidnap/marry Barbara Gordon or Batgirl
     Another actor is playing one of the "big 4" aside from their normal actor
     Every time you notice that Mr. Freeze has a new actor

Drain your glass any time the villain outsmarts Batman.
Drain your glass if Liberace is the villain, just because.
     

OTHER BAT DRINKING REASONS
==========================
Take a drink when:
   There's a sound effect
         Drink twice if it's a particularly weird one (ex. Zap-eth! Zlonnnk!)
         Drink three times if it's the stars that come up when someone gets KO'd
   Police protocol is flagrantly violated
   Cards are fed into Batcomputers or the show otherwise shows its age
        (ex: the ambulances look like hearses, 60s slang is used, etc)
   Something is mispronounced
   A woman acts stereotypically vapid
   The police show how truly inept they really are

Take two drinks when: 
    Shakespeare is invoked
        Three drinks if he's insulted on top of it


Any suggestions?  Feel free to e-mail me at lostangelssong AT gmail DOT com