Untitled : Chapters 10-12
Chapter Ten
“Rise and shine!”
Jaeduc pulled the curtains wide open as I still slept lazily in the bed. I started to whine and put my head under the pillows to block out the gleaming sunlight.
“Jihyun! We’re in Seoul, Korea, the heart of the city! It’s a bright sunny afternoon, already past 12’oclock, and you want to stay in bed?”
“Yes…” I pleaded miserably.
Jaeduc walked over to me and threw himself on top of me.
“Well that’s not going to happen!”
I tried to push myself up off the bed, but Jaeduc’s crushing weight brought me tumbling back down.
“Now if I let you get up, will you get ready so we can go out Jihyun?”
“Yes, yes please just get off me! You’re crippling me Jaeduc!”
As soon as he eased his weight off my back, I immediately reacted by knocking him over with my pillows. It felt good for the two of us to have a pillow fight. It made me forget about my worries for a while.
“Ok Jihyun seriously let’s get ready I’m dying to see the city again.”
In less than an hour I was set and ready to go. Jaeduc and I rode a bus into the city, and now we were walking around enjoying the view. Actually Jaeduc was getting mad because I kept stopping in every single store.
“Jihyun, oh my god… this store has everything the other 15 had!”
“Shh Ducie, I miss these little stores so bad. All the places to shop in LA are so busy and crowded.”
The two of us entered the shopping mall. And Jaeduc was so happy, because he actually found stores that he was interested in. While he was browsing around, I continued my shopping. In the corner on the first floor was this booth that was set up. It had the nicest clothes that I had ever seen.
I picked up a sweater and saw that it had no price. Not even the shopkeeper was there.
“I can’t believe this, don’t they think somebody would steal from them.” I muttered.
Suddenly the little back door adjacent to the booth opened. I looked up to see the shopkeeper, and consequently I dropped all my bags. The man that owned booth was Jiwon…
I backed away like a scared child. Someone was behind me. I looked back in a frenzy.
“Jihyun are you ok?” Jaeduc’s eyes filled with concern.
Jiwon started to walk towards Jaeduc and me. He took my hand into his and cupped it gently.
“Jihyun…” he whispered.
He took his other hand and slowly stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes tightly to make sure that this wasn’t a dream, because it felt so right.
“Yes?” I barely choked out
Jiwon just held me tightly in his arms.
“Um excuse me…Jihyun? I hate to break up this little reunion, but who is this?”
By this time I was already crying. Jiwon let go of me and faced Jaeduc.
“This is Jiwon. Eun Jiwon meet Kim Jaeduc, Jaeduc meet Jiwon.”
The two of them shook hands but I could sense the tension in Jaeduc’s eyes.
“Jihyun what are you doing here in Korea? I thought you moved away to LA.”
“I did oppa, but I’m here on vacation now for a week. I’ll be leaving this Sunday.”
“Yea? Give me your hotel number so we could hang out some time while you’re here ok? I will give you a call. And if there’s anything you like at my store, just tell me Jihyun… it’s yours.”
I blushed as I gave Jiwon a piece of paper to write my number down. We quickly hugged again and I left with Jaeduc.
“Jihyun, what the hell was that about? You gave him your hotel number; you’re actually going to see him?”
“Jaeduc, Jiwon is my friend and I haven’t seen in over 4 years. I’m not just going to shut him out.”
As we took the bus all the way back to the hotel, Jaeduc didn’t say a word to me. I could tell that he was upset at my choices. But this was the only way to prove to myself that I was over Jiwon.
When we got back to the hotel room, there was a message left by Sunghoon to call him.
“You see Jihyun, Sunghoon loves you. He called all the way over here to speak to you.”
I plopped back down into the bed.
“It didn’t say who the message was for. For all I know, he might be calling to speak to you. Go ahead and call him back Jaeduc, I’m too tired to speak to him.”
Jaeduc shot me a dirty look as he took the cordless phone and went inside the bathroom to call Sunghoon. He may have still been my boyfriend, but I wasn’t going to let him affect me. About 20 minutes after Jaeduc had made the call, he came out of the bathroom.
“Jihyun, someone wants to speak to you.”
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know.”
I took the phone from Jaeduc, expecting it to be Sunghoon, but I was pleasantly surprised.
“What do you want Sunghoon?”
“Sunghoon?” The voice laughed. “Jihyun honey it’s me.”
Honey? My heart froze. It has been so long since I heard Jiwon call me that, and my senses just came crashing down.
“I’m so sorry Jiwon, I thought it was my boyfriend Sunghoon.”
I silently cursed myself. How could I just blurt out that I had a boyfriend so insensitively to Jiwon?
“Oh so Sunghoon’s your boyfriend huh? I kind of thought it was Jaeduc, being the way that he eyed me this afternoon.”
“Yea I saw, I’m sorry about that also. So what’s up?”
“Nothing really. I miss you Jihyun. I’m closed on Wednesday’s, why don’t we meet up tomorrow and hang out?”
“Tomorrow? Yea that sounds really good Jiwon. You know where my hotel is right? Pick me up from there.’
We spoke for about an hour in total. Jaeduc kept pacing the room to see if I was still speaking to Jiwon. Every time I would smile or laugh, Jaeduc would shake his head in disapproval. When I hung up with Jiwon, I felt rejuvenated.
“So you’re finally off with him huh Jihyun?”
I smiled as I pulled the blanket over my head and cuddled into my bed.
“Jaeduc don’t waste your time lecturing me about Jiwon. Now please turn off the lights and sleep well.”
I heard Jaeduc slam the door shut as he stormed outside. It didn’t matter to me how angry or upset he was. I was following my heart, and that’s the only thing that really mattered.
Chapter Eleven
Jaeduc was so surprised. Since we arrived here in Korea, Jaeduc has been waking me up every morning. But not today… I was up early to prepare myself for the day with Jiwon. When Jaeduc did wake up, he saw me already dressed.
“Jihyun, where are you off to?”
I finished combing my hair. As I was done, I turned to Jaeduc.
“I’m just touring the city today, that’s all.”
“So early? And without me? When were you planning on waking me up?”
“I was going to leave you a note Jaeduc… I just feel like being alone today.”
Before I could even finish my statement, there was a knocking on the hotel door.
“I’ll get it”, I cried.
Just as I opened the door, I felt a pair of strong arms envelope me. Jiwon held on to me tightly as I allowed myself to be sucked into his grasp. Since the last time I’ve seen Jiwon, he has developed into quite a man. He was no longer the young, skinny boy that I once knew before. Jiwon had matured into an endearing gentleman.
To complete this tender hug, Jiwon leaned down slightly and placed a kiss on my cheek. I literally gasped and took a step back. For a moment, I forgot that I had Sunghoon, and I forgot that Jaeduc was in the same room as I.
“Jiwon… How - how are you?”
“I am doing really well right now Jihyun. Are you ready to go now?”
I turned back and saw Jaeduc eyeing us suspiciously. He got up out of bed and walked over to us.
“Going somewhere Jihyun?” Jaeduc said sarcastically
My legs felt as if they were going to collapse under me. Here I was trapped between three people. I wanted Jiwon, I loved Sunghoon, and I was lying to my best friend Jaeduc. Things were starting to crash down around me quick, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
“Yea, I’m sorry it must have slipped my mind Jaeduc. Jiwon and I are planning on hanging out today. I’ll see you later ok?”
Just as I was pushing Jiwon out the door to leave, Jaeduc rushed behind me and pulled my arm back.
“Jihyun, I don’t know what the hell you’re doing but-…”
“Jaeduc please.”
I pulled my arm away from Jaeduc as Jiwon waited outside for me.
“So Jihyun, tell me honestly, Jaeduc hates my guts right?”
“No, he doesn’t. He’s just very anti-sociable.”
As Jiwon and I rode the elevator down together, so many thoughts rushed through my mind. I couldn’t believe that the original love of my life was here with me again. And it seemed as though Jiwon was still interested in me. I mean, when he put his arms around me I felt something there. It was the same feeling when we were together four years back. I still loved him deeply, did Jiwon love me?”
We reached the ground level and Jiwon took my hand and lead me outside.
“Ready to see Seoul again Jihyun?”
I nodded my head as I walked toward the bus stop.
“Jihyun where are you going?”
“Huh? What do you mean? I was walking to the bus stop Jiwon.”
Jiwon stopped walking and looked at me. His brown eyes raced with so much amusement. He walked up to me and grabbed my hand again and laughed. He then led me back to where we were standing before.
“Jihyun… I have changed a lot. I’m no longer the little boy you used to be with before. I have a car now.”
He opened the car door for me and leaned against the front.
“Come on get in.”
I couldn’t help but smiling, Jiwon certainly had a way with women.
After we got settled and started to drive, I began thinking. Jiwon and I were quiet; we weren’t talking to each other at all. But I wasn’t angry, and neither was he. It was because we both understood. No words were needed to comminute the way that we felt. Everyone worked hard to separate us and ensure that we wouldn’t have a future together. But fate was on our side, and it united Jiwon and I again four years later. So now as I sat in Jiwon’s car, I couldn’t help but be inspired by this amazing moment.
I found myself staring at Jiwon as he drove.
When Jiwon stopped at an intersection, he turned to me.
“Jihyun, what’s up? How come you keep looking at me?”
I quickly lowered my head and blushed. Jiwon out stretched his hand and lifted my chin up.
“Talk to me, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing at all, it’s just that I -…”
But the light changed and Jiwon’s eyes were on the rode again. We kept driving until Jiwon finally stopped at this little café on the outskirts of Seoul. When we went inside the café, a table was already prepared for us over in the corner. As Jiwon and I took our seats, I noticed that the view overlooked the beach that Jiwon and I always went to- our special spot…
“I thought it would be nice if we could have breakfast together. I know that I had you out of bed early this morning, and I wasn’t sure if you ate or not.”
The waiter came over with a platter of fresh fruits and orange juice. Jiwon took a small plate and placed some peaches and strawberries on it. He then took his fork and fed me some of the peaches on the plate.
“Here, take a bite Jihyun…”
Whatever he told me to do, I wouldn’t have hesitated to do it. I opened my mouth a little as Jiwon fed me the fresh fruit. He then put the fork down and leaned over to me. Jiwon was so close to my face that I could feel him breathing against me. I closed my eyes preparing for what was going to come next. But instead of Jiwon kissing me, he stroked my cheek gently.
“You beauty still hasn’t changed Jihyun...”
I chastised myself for allowing Jiwon to put me in the position that he just had me in. The two of us finished break fast, and after that we were driving again. Instead of being so crazy over Jiwon, I was weary. It scared me half to death that I was so easily willing to throw away my relationship with Sunghoon because of him. I couldn’t allow Jiwon to capture my heart again.
We spent the rest of the day shopping around Seoul. And maybe I over reacted this morning, because Jiwon took extra care not to violate me in any way possible. It was only when it was starting to get dark that Jiwon had an idea that scared me.
“Jihyun, you remember the place that we always used to go to at the beach? You want to go back just for old times sake?”
Of course I remembered our special spot. How could I ever forget, it was so important to me. I couldn’t resist going there again. So instead of even saying anything, I just nodded my head in agreement.
The cool sea breeze hit me against my face when we arrived at the beach. Jiwon parked the car as I walked down to the shore by myself. I looked around, nothing changed at all. The sea was still as beautiful as ever, and the stars glittered with the night sky. Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong arms around me.
“Jihyun, I haven’t been here since you left me.”
I turned around to face Jiwon. And for the first time in four years, our eyes locked and connected together once again. I shook my head and pulled away as I took a seat on the sand.
“I always dreamed about seeing this place again Jiwon. But I never thought I would, and I never thought that I would be with you again. I pretty much lost all hope when I left Korea.”
Jiwon sat down next to me and took my hand into his.
“I never stopped loving you Jihyun. When you left, I even went as far as to see your parents and plead that you return. But when I realized that you weren’t coming back, I lost all faith. I stopped going to school for days at a time, and eventually I stopped going altogether. It was so hard to cope with everything.”
“But Jiwon, even though I was gone physically, you know you still had my heart emotionally. You know I would never stop loving you.”
“I can’t say that I still have you heart Jihyun. I mean, you told me you had a boyfriend named Sunghoon right?”
I let go of Jiwon’s hand. Jiwon took his finger and started to write in the sand.
“You know Jihyun… when you left me, I swear everything got worse. My mother died a year after you left. And I had no choice but to fend on my own. I took some classes at school and then I opened my little clothing shop. Thank god it was enough to support me. But what hurt me even more was the fact that you didn’t even keep in touch, it was like you forgot me...”
“Jiwon, I’m so sorry that you mother died. I didn’t know… and I never forgot you. I- I - just couldn’t call you.”
Jiwon stood up in front of me.
“You couldn’t call? Why is that Jihyun? Wasn’t our love real? Didn’t I promise to love you forever, what about bond we had?”
My eyes started to tear. Jiwon was so right; it was as if I had totally forgotten about him. I got up off the sand and started walking away.
“I’m sorry for everything Jiwon”, I whispered.
I didn’t want him to see me crying like this. But Jiwon spun me around and saw me anyway. He pulled me close to him and forced me to look at him.
“Jihyun look at me, please…honey, I love you.”
Jiwon leaned down as I wrapped my arms around him. We looked at each other for a minute before Jiwon lowered his lips to mine. He was so close to kissing me when I pushed away.
“I can’t, Jiwon, I just can’t.”
I ran down the shore till my heart wanted to explode. By now, I was crying uncontrollably. Jiwon walked up along the side of me.
“Come on Jihyun, you’ve had a rough night, it’s time to go back to the hotel.”
We rode back to my hotel in silence, but this time it wasn’t the same. I felt bad for turning Jiwon down and also stupid. How could I not follow my heart? But then I remembered Sunghoon and his proposal back in LA. I needed to stay true to my boyfriend.
Again Jiwon opened the car door for me.
“Well you’re here. I hope to see you soon. If I don’t see you again Jihyun, take care of yourself.”
Instead of Jiwon kissing me goodnight, he pointed to his cheek motioning for me to kiss his. I pressed my lips against his soft creamy skin.
“Goodnight Jiwon.”
By the time I got back upstairs, Jaeduc was sitting in the hotel room watching TV.
“Finally back huh? Jihyun… you look like you went through hell. Did he hurt you?”
I sat down next to Jaeduc and he put his hand on my forehead.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“No we have to Jihyun. Something is wrong, seriously wrong. You never ever lied to me before and you did that tonight. You lied to me because of this Jiwon guy. Now I don’t know what he does to you or how it does it but…don’t be silly. You have so much going for you now with Sunghoon, don’t let empty lust drive a relationship over.”
I started to nod off on the sofa. But as I was in between reality and my own sleep, something Jaeduc said stuck in my head. Maybe these emotions for Jiwon indeed were “empty lust”. But how would I ever know?
Chapter Twelve
I tossed and turned all night long. This wasn’t fair. I was the one who blew Jiwon off completely. He was man enough to share his feelings with me, and tell me how he felt. But I in turn backed away. And I was regretting it now…
What would have happened if I allowed that one kiss between us? The truth is I am too scared to discover how far the two of us could go with these feelings we have.
To top things off, my back was aching. The pain I felt was the real reason that I was up early again this morning. Jaeduc was already awake and sitting by the window, when I got up.
“Good morning Jihyun. Going out with Jiwon again?”
I walked over to the table and poured myself a cup of coffee.
“Why did you let me sleep on the sofa all night long? I think that really screwed up my back… it’s killing me now.”
“I’m sorry Jihyun, about your back and all but… I asked you a question and you totally avoided it.”
“Jaeduc I’m going to see him today one last time. And he doesn’t know I’m going to visit him… so that’s that ok?”
After I got up I stormed into the bathroom to take a long hot shower. I really didn’t know what I was going to say when I went to see Jiwon today. Should I tell him I wanted to kiss him and I loved him even more than before? So many questions just flew through my head. There could have even been a chance that Jiwon wasn’t feeling as strong as I did, and maybe I was just terribly mistaken.
As I was drying my hair, something even more important crossed my thoughts.
“Oh my god…” I whispered.
Back home in LA, Sunghoon was waiting for me to give him an answer to his proposal. Since I came here, the whole proposal hasn’t even crossed my mind. I’m just going to say yes. I love Sunghoon already, and this just means taking my love one step further.
I got out of the bathroom, fully dressed and was ready to go.
“Jaeduc, I’ll be back here this afternoon ok?”
And I was on my way to see Jiwon…
It felt totally weird to go back to the spot where I first saw him again. But sure enough, Jiwon was sitting by his little clothing space.
His eyes immediately lit up when he saw me.
“I hope you didn’t come just to look at the clothes.”
My eyes locked on the same sweater that I saw before when I was here. It was a black fitted v-neck lined with rhinestones. I felt the soft material of the sweater as I thought about how nice it would be.
Jiwon picked up the sweater as he got up and walked over to me.
“Jihyun, here… I know you love this. It’s my gift to you.”
“No, Jiwon. I didn’t come here for free gifts or to shop either. I want to talk about what happened between us last night.”
I lowered my head as I began talking to Jiwon. He took a deep breath as he leaned against the railing.
“Go ahead I’m listening.”
“I allowed myself to be put in a position that I had no right being involved in. Jiwon I may care for you, but that gives me no right to act the way I did. I am 22 years old with a boyfriend of two years, and I acted so irresponsibly.”
“Jihyun, stop and let me guess what you’re going to say next. ‘You can’t be with me, but you still love me and I’m sorry if I hurt you’.”
I looked up at Jiwon again and I could see that his face was fixed in a scowl.
“Jiwon you’re not making this any easier for me. I am sorry oppa; I just can’t do this again… I’m sorry but I have to go.”
My feet made me run, but if it were up to my heart I would have stayed. I ran out of the store all the way to the bus through the crowded city streets. When I got on the bus, I took a seat all the way in the back and cried. Many people looked at me, some even stared but I didn’t care any more. Once again I parted with Jiwon and this time it was even harder than before. It never occurred to me that I would have to go through all of this just to stay true to Sunghoon.
When I got off the bus I looked at my watch and saw that it was now 1 o’clock in the afternoon. My hotel room was slightly open as I pushed the door more carefully.
“Hello? Is anyone in here?”
I walked inside and saw nothing out of order, suddenly I felt someone holding on to me. Jaeduc jumped out from sofa and was standing in front of me laughing wildly.
But wait… if Jaeduc was standing in front of me… then he who holding on to me from the back. I turned around and saw Sunghoon!
“Jihyun, I missed you so much!”
Sunghoon was now hugging me from the front, and my whole mind started to race. Oh my God, I thought, this is going to get so hectic for me. Not only do I have to deal with Jiwon, but now Sunghoon is here in Korea also.
“Sunghoon, I thought you couldn’t get any days off to come down here.”
“I couldn’t at first… but then I begged my boss for 4 days off just so I could fly down here to be with you Jihyun. I know we ended our last conversation on a bad note, and I couldn’t wait till Sunday when you came home to solve it.”
He just held on to me and wrapped me even tighter in his arms.
Jaeduc, Sunghoon, and I just spent the rest of the day in our hotel room together. In one aspect, it felt good to have Sunghoon here with me. He provided me with a sense of security and stability, and of course his love. But my thoughts were still placed on Jiwon. Our goodbye was so hard and painful for me.
“Jihyun, are you ok?” Sunghoon asked.
Before I could answer him, we heard a knocking on the hotel door.
“I’ll get it”, I said.
I was opening the door with the expectation that it would be room service or the cleaners. But it was neither. I opened the door and saw Jiwon standing there with a medium sized bag in his hand.
“Are you busy?” he asked.
My face grew pale and white. I could feel myself starting to break out in a sweat.
“I- I…”
I felt like I was going to faint.
“I’m not busy Jiwon, you can come inside.”
Jiwon walked into the hotel room very cautiously and saw Jaeduc and Sunghoon sitting on the sofa. Sunghoon eyed him as he got off his feet.
“Jiwon I want you to meet my boyfriend Sunghoon, Sunghoon this is an old friend.”
The two of them shook hands almost unwittingly. Jiwon still had the medium sized bag in this hand, but now he was looking around the room uncomfortably.
“What you got there?” said Sunghoon in an attempt to be friendly.
“Oh this? Well actually it’s a little gift for Jihyun. Something for her to take back to California since I haven’t seen her in so long.”
Jiwon gave me the bag as I stood there still in shock that the two of them were in the same room together. After a minute or so, there was a growing silence.
“Well Jihyun, have a good trip back home. Nice meeting you Sunghoon. Good to see you again Jaeduc.”
He gave me a short hug and quickly left after that. Sunghoon took my arm and lead me back over to the sofa.
“What a weird guy Jihyun. How come you never mentioned him to me before?”
“He’s no one particularly important Sunghoon.”
I looked up and saw Jaeduc eyeing me. All of a sudden I just felt so sick.
“You guys I hate to ruin this night but I think I’m going to sleep early. I want to catch up on some rest.”
Sunghoon kissed me good night as I went to my bedroom.
There, I sat on the bed with the bag that Jiwon had given me. I pulled out its contents and slowly unwrapped the package. It was the sweater I had wanted! On top of the sweater was a card it read:
Dear Jihyun,
I told you this sweater was a gift to you. I hope you like it and wear it often. The real reason I came back to your hotel room was to not only give you the gift. I missed you Jihyun and I didn’t want us to say goodbye the way we did. I realize you have a boyfriend and I can see you love him very much. But Jihyun, the love I have for you cannot compare to anything that anyone can give you. I always remembered you and each day that we were apart, I learned to love you more. And it was the love that I had for you that kept me going when my mother died. Jihyun, you are everything to me please don’t turn me away…
Jiwon
I held the card against my chest as I slipped down into bed. My heart was aching, how could he put his words so eloquently and precise? I felt the same way but I could never express myself like that. Just as I was putting everything away, I saw another little card. On it was Jiwon’s address and phone number. Deep down inside, I know I should have thrown it away. But I didn’t because I knew that I was probably going to see him again before I left.
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Chapters 7-9
Chapters 13-15
