due to popular demand, and david's request, here is the full list of david's schpeals: ((my favorite is #20))

David’s Big Book of Schpeals:
Schpeal #1: Eat your veggies...
Schpeal #2: If you don't eat your meat... you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?!?
Schpeal #3: Let's say you have a friend named Bob, and Bob is making fun of you... poke him with a stick.
Schpeal #4: Let's say you have a friend named Fred, and Fred is sad... give him a flower.
Schpeal #5: Rockets are flying things!
Schpeal #6: Remember, if it wasn't for your mother, you might not even be here today! So give your Momma a hug!
Schpeal #7: Tuning to drop D is NOT a sin.
Schpeal #8: Soccer is like coloring, you have to stay in between the lines.
Schpeal #9: "Who?", says the owl. "Who? Who?"
Schpeal #10: If a man comes up to you and says that he'd like to change your mind... make sure you are clear on what he means.
Schpeal #11: Never trust anyone who's speaking in *rhyme*.
Schpeal #12: Never organize and/or host a hoot-nanny.
Schpeal #13: Islands never cry.
Schpeal #14: Stuff is good.
Schpeal #15: No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to blow out a cucumber.
Schpeal #16: No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to out-chuck a woodchuck.
Schpeal #17: Don't try to marinade your alarm clock.
Schpeal #18: Don't try to laminate your socks.
Schpeal #19: You can't have your mashed potatoes for breakfast.
Schpeal #20: Ayra for president because she loves the world!
Schpeal #21: Don't make fun of people who only have one brain.
Schpeal #22: Beware of the honking Flufferdom Tree!
Schpeal #23: Don't count your chickens before they hatch in one basket and take off with the spoon.
Schpeal #24: Never change.
Schpeal #25: Focus on the positive... but not with a magnifying glass in the sun.
Schpeal #26: Don't lose harmony with the universe! Symptoms of falling out of harmony with the universe: Severe headache followed by your head exploding into bite-sized pieces. Warning: Do not eat these bite-sized pieces.
Schpeal #27: When you sneeze, it looks like an advanced alien species.
Schpeal #28: Don't lose your marbles.
Schpeal #29: If you ever manage to juggle carrots on top of a giant and specifically green bouncy ball, then you're a better man than I.
Schpeal #30: Stay in school.
Schpeal #31: Don't do drugs.
Schpeal #32: Don't try to carve your initials onto the back of a moose with a sharpened toothbrush.
Schpeal #33: If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
Schpeal #34: Sleep is what happens to you, before you wake up.
Schpeal #35: Gray hair is the first sign of aging... Depression is the first sign on your way into Denver.
Schpeal #36: Remember, you can always cross your fingers, but you'll have trouble crossing your fingernails.
Schpeal #37: You can't judge a book before it's hatched.
Schpeal #38: Build it and they will come, ok.
Schpeal #39: I'm tired of being your trash boy!! I got your slippers, and now I want back. Like in the deal!!
Schpeal #40: If it doesn't require a can opener, it's not worth the trouble.
Schpeal #41: Eat your broccoli or it might come back and eat you!
Schpeal #42: If you hold that face long enough you'll look like Elvis... forever.
Schpeal #43: If you only knew... that would be nice.
Schpeal #44: It's never a good idea to throw rocks at the President of the United States.
Schpeal #45: It's a great day to be a weasel!
Schpeal #46: The grass is always greener on the other side... unless they don't water their lawn.
Schpeal #47: Never staple the cat to the sofa when you are trying to sell your house.
Schpeal #48: Don't look at me like you had never seen a hamburger with fries and a drink and you've been traveling through dusty desert roads with nothing to eat or drink but your shoe laces and a moldy box of cracker jacks, and ... and ... boy just quit starin'!
Schpeal #49: Be sure to hang on tight or you'll be thrown from the merry-go-round and into the wolves.
Schpeal #50: It's not you.... it's me.
Schpeal #51: Don't iron your boxers while you're wearing them.
Schpeal #52: Once upon a time there was a boy named Sylvester the Cow. One day Sylvester's food itched so he scratched it. Another time Sylvester needed a trash can, so he bought one. He kept solving simple problems like this until he met ALGEBRA 2; he never scratched his food again.
Schpeal #53: You need a Lobster.
Schpeal #54: Never burn a CD with a flamethrower.
Schpeal #55: If it looks like a duck, barks like a duck, and smells like a chicken, wear it.
Schpeal #56: The moral of the story in schpeal #52 is still pending. Schpeal #57: Yeah, but if all of your friends were made of cliff, would you jump off of them, haha, I don’t think you would.
Schpeal #58: If your mom says you're one in a million, that doesn't mean you have a better chance of winning the lottery.
Schpeal #59: Every gal in Constantinople is in Istanbul, not Constantinople. So if you've a date in Constantinople, she'll be waiting in Istanbul.
Schpeal #60: Love your neighbor as you love your enemy.... -wait... yeah, somethin'. Schpeal #61: Bubble gum is not a proper adhesive material.
Schpeal #62: Don't use your excess earwax as a means of trade.
Schpeal #63: Once upon a time I met the girl of my dreams... then I woke up.
Schpeal #64: There's always room for more Jell-O, but not in my car.
Schpeal #65: It may be said that monkeys can fly... but it would be wrong.
Schpeal #66: Speaks bad English, Yoda does. 900 years and still in the making...
Schpeal #67: Foolish, is the man who builds his house on top of an active volcano.
Schpeal #68: Roses are red, violets aren't blue... and that's all I have to say about that.
Schpeal #69: Don't put all your eggs in one basket, because if you drop the basket all your eggs will run away.
Schpeal #70: If you're trying to find out if life holds any meaning, try looking in the dictionary.
Schpeal #71: Cheese is like music... you need four different types to play a Bm7.
Schpeal #72: Everyone must find their true passion in life... consider Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter, who has dedicated his life to disturbing dangerous animals.
Schpeal #73: The answer to the universe is 42.
Schpeal #74: Don't spell group, g-u-o-p-x.
Schpeal #75: If you're caught by the honking Flufferdom Tree, the only way to defeat it is to out-honk it, which you will not be able to do... so tickle it.
Schpeal #76: Just don't do the can-can and no one will get hurt.
Schpeal #77: Don't try to jump down a flight of stairs on a cruise boat, 'Titanic' is just a movie.
Schpeal #78: Beware of LA ARDILLA DE MUERTE.... which is actually quite cute when it's not killing a bunch of people.
Schpeal #79: If someone says 'awesome possum' to you, they are actually insulting your great-grandmother.
Schpeal #80: If a clown ever gives you a balloon, don't eat it, it might be poisoned!
Schpeal #81: A stranger is just someone that you haven't met, how many people did you know when you were born? How many people do you know now?
Schpeal #82: Save a tree, eat a beaver.
Schpeal #83: Stupid people travel in large groups.
Schpeal #84: Boredom comes to those who wait.
Schpeal #85: What's in mystery meat you ask? Hmm... Nobody knows.
Schpeal #86: Don't poke badgers with spoons.
Schpeal #87: Don't take two math classes at the same time; it's idiotic.
Schpeal #88: Mexican pandas don't let Mexican pandas drive drunk.
Schpeal #89: Life's like a piece of Swiss cheese. It's always filled with unexpected holes.
Schpeal #90: Don't take shoots and ladders seriously. It might come back and get you.
Schpeal #91: Bad spellers untied!
Schpeal #92: NUKE THE WHALES!
Schpeal #93: The good thing about smart bombs is that they only kill living things, so you don't need to worry bout victims of collateral damage.
Schpeal #94: You can't eat your way to Alaska.
Schpeal #95: Hydrogen, the dangerous chemical used in water, is scientifically proven to be responsible for the Hindenburg catastrophe.
Schpeal #96: Joysticks are not guaranteed to give you joy.
Schpeal #97: The average attention span of a Peruvian llama is only long enough to last until you forget about it.
Schpeal #98: Cigarettes are only small cigars.
Schpeal #99: Put your money where your grease fire is.
Schpeal #100: Texas is as Texas does.
Schpeal #101: Don't ever write a book on schpeals

i'm not sure what to call these, but he wanted them in here:

"I am always right, sometimes." -David (philosopher)

"Anyone who's up this late at night is outta thier mind... and you can quote me on that." -David (political activist)

"The Bomb-Diggity." -God

"The good thing about smart bombs is that they only kill living things." -Elisha (any other questions?)

"Hey, get the Foo King Rice!" - Edwin (Reverend)

"If there's one thing I've learned, it's that there is always something to learn. You can't be the fastest gun in the west, there's always someone faster." - Francesco (Famous 4w5/Personal S.I.)

"Well, suit yourself... Cuz I'm certainly not going to do it" - Perrin (Fearless Leader)

"Last night I partied like there was no tomorrow... man, was I wrong." - David (chief inspector of the perfect muffin)

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me... alala lala lala.. stuff is a funneh mahn!! Just a, just a, just a, just a, just a, just a just a, just a just, just a funneh mahn, just a funneh mahn *doo doo doo*" - Nikki-ALOT (Telephone Pole)

"Heck is where people go who don't believe in gosh." - Liam (professional weasel)

"The critics gave it an A for effort..." - Francesco (Frankie and Ebert)

"Wow! With a face like yours, who needs enemies??" David (Marx)