I went back to Taiwan for visiting my family right after the baptism ceremony, and I first received the calling from the Lord on 5/15/99 at Youth's Celebration at Bread of Life Christian Church in Taipei, Taiwan. Pastor Miriam Chiang preached and encouraged the youngsters to choose to do God's will. Pastor mentioned lots of Biblical characteristics such as Joshua, Joseph, Daniel and Elisha. I was deeply impressed by Elisha because of his boldness to ask for a double portion of Elijah's spirit. I felt that God was calling me to serve Him with the specific Scriptures. Therefore, I responded to the altar call on that night. However, I was actually very doubtful about the calling. Was it really from God or it was just my own desire? Did I make a wrong decision for my life? Thus, I was very hesitated whenever there was a full-time calling after any church services or conferences that I attended.
Almost one year later, my daily devotion scriptures on 5/7/00 happend to be 2 Kings chapter 1 to 3. As reading teh scriptures once again, I was overwhelmingly touched by Elisha for asking double portions of the spirit. What kind of heart did Elisha have for not leaving Elijah but continuously following him until Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind! Heavily moved by the scriptures, I kneeled down and cried to my Lord, " O, dear Lord, I want to follow you all of my life just as how Elisha followed Elijah until the last day. Lord, may your Spirit fill with me and empower me just so thatI can take your Great Commission to expand the Kingdom of God with you. "
At the same timeframe, I also applied for MBA schools for pursing higher educations. Out of my expectations and control, all my favorite schools rejected my applications. I was worried and dismayed at that time, so I was desperately asked God to show me His plans for my life. It seemed to me that He closed the door for me to pursue a MBA degree. In addition, from the deepest of my heart, I heard an old hymn from Proverbs 23:26."My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep to my ways" almost every day. I understood that it must be my time in responding to the full-time calling.
On 5/14/00, I shared everything happened with my spiritual seniors and leaders at the church. Sister Linmen Chen asked God to give me both conviction and confirmation. Brother Jack Wen blessed me and said Proverbs 23:26 during his prayer. He also reminded me that many are invited but few are chosen. The next morning, God woke me up and gave me Isaiah 43:10 as a confirmation. "You are my witnesses, " declares the Lord, " and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He. Before me no God was formed, nor will there be one after me.
In order to further confirm the calling, I asked God to give me special confirmations. After prayer, I asked for two on May 17, 2000. First, I asked God to use the scriptures in 2 King 2:19 to call me again. Second, I asked God to give me another chance to call me publicly to overcome my fear adn confusion in the past.
The next Tuesday, 5/23/00, I went to the Unity and Revival Morning Prayer Meeting in Fremont. Pastor Chen, Lou prayed for me. He prayed that he was ready to be taken up to the heaven any time. He asked God to pass the fire to me and asked Holy Spirit to fill me. This was the first confirmation I received. The next day, as I drove out of my parking lot heading to the prayer meeting, I saw Jesus hanging on the cross with a crown of thorns. I also heard a song from Psalm 51:10~12 all the way to the place. In the middle of the worship, Pastor Monica Kuo proclaimed," God's glory covers the living room and He comes to visit us with lots of purple and golden clouds surrounded. God comes for a special purpose today. He comes to anoint His chosen one. " And then Pastor Kuo kept saying that, " This person is facing financial problem, and this person is very doubtful and afraid.... " With doubts in my heart, I asked God if He was calling me. All of a sudden, Pastor Kuo said, " God says: do not be hesitated, it is the person who are asking him right now." Meanwhile, I was filled with Holy Spirit and started crying. I just figured that the worship song the other people singing was also from Psalm 51:10~12. Pastor Kuo came up to me, laid her hands on me and prayed, " God will take full responsibilities of my life. Do not be discouraged or afraid. The Lord has been waiting for me for a long time. The Lord is calling me to serve Him full-time. " Then I cried even harder and bitterly, because I knew that I was with such little faith and always hesitated in responding the call. Pastor Kuo kept saying that God gave me a verse as confirmation. It's in Joshua 1: 7~9. " Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this book of the Law depart form your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. "
In respond to God's love and calling, I resolve to serve my Lord with loyalty, to spread out and preach the Gospel, and to reach the lost in my entire life to glorify Him.
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