I have been praying for attending the Children's Leaders Conference in Pensacola eagerly ever since I was informed by Agnes this summer. The conference started on a weekday and I needed two and a half days off from work in order to make to the trip. At the time, I have already used up all my vacation hours and would have to leave without getting pad. However, my manager was generous enough to offer me the idea of reporting sick for my trip instead of deducting my salary. Considering the savings I will have, I accepted my manager's offer.
I attended my Tuesday seminary class as usual, but that day I felt sick. It was October 17th, one day before the departure date for Pensacola. During the break time, Han Ke asked me about the trip and mentioned if I had asked for leave from work. With content and showing off attitude, I told him about the extra offer I received. Later on Ping joined our conversation and told me that somehow it is not right. He suggested me to pray about it. What was not right? I did not understand at the time. As the second session began, my body felt weaker. I pondered at what Ping mentioned earlier. I realized that what I did was not pleasing to God.
By the Holy Spirit, I prayed to the Lord and confessed my sin in cheating God. As I prayed, a Bible verse came up to my mind. " If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) Holding onto God's promise, I confessed my sin and proclaimed that God has totally forgiven me and purified me. Gradually my body became warmer and more energetic. My discomfort eased.
The next morning I was awaken by the Lord around three or four a.m. God spoke to me through His words . " For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you," says the Lord your Redeemer (Isaiah 54:7). On the same day, I met with my manager before leaving for the airport and asked her to deduct whatever my absence should have cost me. I knew that I was heading for the conference with God's love and that His compassion embraced me.
Through this experience, I want to share with you a message that every little things we do matters in His eyes. We should learn not to be deceived by the temptations surroudning us. Rather, we need to keep a close contact with our Lord. Our God is holy and righteous and cannot be mocked. It really matters that we, His children, live a holy life and set our heart to fear Him in everything we encounter.
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