Genre: Darla/Lindsay/Faith

Rating: R

*Characters belong to Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt, etc.
One of Faith's lines is a variation of Drew's line in Charlie's Angels.


Snake in the Woodshed
by Tara Ann Stridh


She sat on the bed with a little girl smile on her face. Her delicate fingertips resting against her tiny ankles began to tap softly upon her flesh.
"Lindsey, what's next?" Her voice was sweet and enthusiastic. For a moment Lindsey McDonald savored her petite body gracefully adorned by a long, spaghetti strap rose-silk dress. The blonde strands of her straight hair wisped past her shoulders, and she shuddered.
"Cold?"
"A little bit." She looked to her right, where she thought Lindsey was standing. Darla couldn't be certain; the white satin sash covering her eyes put her senses on edge.
Scattered around the room were various plates of food. Strawberries, oranges dipped in chocolate, peaches, cherries, whipped cream, cotton candy, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter, melting ice cream, almonds, CheezeDoodles, Twinkies, marshmallows, broiled chicken, lemonade, chocolate milk, chocolate macaroons, blackberry Jell-O, cheese, Sour Patch Kids, Sweet Tarts, etc.
Lindsey knelt on the bed beside her, holding a steaming plate in his hands. Her hand touched his knee to secure his position next to her.
"This is it, Darla. I have saved the best for last. In all of your four hundred years I guarantee you have never tasted anything like this."
"What is it?"
"You have to taste it first."
"Whatever you do don't stick your cock in my mouth." Startled briefly, his handsome features became grim.
"Did someone actually do that to you?"
"He was angry at me." His voice softened.
"I would never do anything you didn't like." Darla laughed, her thoughts floating away from his promise.
"I'm going to get fat with all this food. I should be watching the calories. I wouldn't want to be a four hundred pound human."
"Okay, open your mouth." Lindsey held the fork near her shimmering pale lips as she opened her mouth for him. "Be careful. It's hot." Gently he fed her the hot pasta and tomato sauce, and she purred contentedly as she allowed her tongue to relish the flavor.
"What do you think?"
"It's very tasty. What is it?"
"Lasagna. Old family recipe."
"You made it?" Her eyebrow arched as she spoke.
"I did. It's the only thing I make extremely well."
"That's not true. Your chicken pasta?"
"Easy." He placed the dish beside him and removed the blindfold from her eyes. Darla gazed down at the dish of extravagant pasta.
"Hmmm, look at all that sauce. So red." His smile was more of an unconsciously charming smirk.
"You like the sauce?"
"I like the red." Lindsey watched her take another bite, a twinkle in his eyes.
"Lilah told me you hired someone to kill Angel. A slayer." The glimmer within her eyes brightened at her last word. He nodded.
"Rogue slayer. She made us look like a fool."
"Faith?"
"Yes. She did some jail time and fell in love with the vampire." With a faint shrug Darla poked at the lasagna with her fork.
"What a pity. But my boy does have the touch. An obsidian diamond he knew he could polish." She did not look at him.
"Did you fuck her?"
"I did." Her smile was knowing as she looked up at him.
"Then you really weren't the fool."


"I'd like a slice. Plain. To stay." When Faith turned around to face the customer her mouth almost dropped open, but the dark-haired slayer was quick with the tongue, forming her mouth into a sly smile.
"Too bad garlic won't work." Darla tilted her head to the side with a smile.
"I thought the Slayer was too good to be flipping pizzas." The young girl ignored the blonde-haired woman as she tossed a slice into the oven. Then she turned to the ex-vampire.
"I'm not the Slayer." There was silence between them while the slice heated up. After several minutes passed Faith took the pizza from the oven, placing the plate of food on the counter. She took Darla's money with a mocking squint of her deep brown eyes and sickly smile.
Darla grabbed the girl's wrist as she dropped the change into her palm. Her finger stroked Faith's soft hand, and Darla almost shuddered with the pleasantries of her past.
"Sit with me for a moment." Faith tried to pull away, but the woman held tightly.
"Why would I want to do that?"
"I need you to." Then Darla let go of Faith's hand, walking with her plate to a table near the back of the pizza parlor. The girl looked around with hesitation and sighed, wiping her hands on her small apron. She stepped out from behind the counter, strolling over to Darla. Faith sat in the chair across form her without waiting for an invitation. Her brunette hair was pulled back into a ponytail, slightly straightened. The dark-haired slayer shrugged.
"So? What do you want? You want to talk more bedtime thrills for soul boy?" Darla's melodious voice was sharp and solid.
"That's over with. I've moved on to better and bigger things with my boy, but I'm not here to talk about him. Not exactly."
"Give."
"You despise Buffy. Loathe her." Another shrug.
"Nah. Not really."
"I've spoken with William about all the things I missed during my down time. Quite a bit. Not only the death of the Master, my sire, but Angel went bad, and I missed it all."
"Yeah, I guess you did. Three and half years is more suck-ass than an eight-month coma I suppose, but hey."
"I hate Buffy for personal reasons."
"Sex, huh. B boinking 'your boy' must eat away at you." Darla closed her eyes for a moment as if she was trying to erase Faith's last image from her mind. Then she looked at the vigorous life radiating from the slayer's exquisite face.
"I should hate you, but I don't. Maybe because I don't really know you."
"Believe me, I'm not as irritating as Buffy." Faith licked her glossy lips, wondering why she was talking to Angel's sire.
"Faith, you're the Slayer. Why do you let her outshine you?"
"Gee, let me think. 'Cause everybody loves her, and that's the final answer." With a roll of her deep brown eyes Faith began to get up to leave, but Darla placed her hand on the girl's arm.
"According to how William told it, she's not supposed to be. Angelus even almost killed her. If I had been there he would have for certain." Faith settled back into the chair.
"I don't know anything about that. I came to rip-roaring Sunnydale after that whole big mess, and I started another whole big mess all by my lonesome." She smiled, her eyes hinted with sparkle. Then she pouted to herself.
"Well, I did have a bit of guidance. Who's William?"
"Spike."
"Oh, right. Yeah, I forgot. Whatever." Darla leaned towards Faith, her straight blonde strands falling against her blue cashmere sweater.
"William said you told him things that made his head spin. You'd pop him like warm champagne. You have muscles he never even imagined."
"Well, it was B's body. I was just messing with him." Faith thought about Spike's current infatuation with the blonde-haired slayer. "And obviously it messed. Anyway, when do we get to the part about me?" As Darla sat back in her chair she smiled at the girl.
"I think I could almost tolerate you." Then her violet eyes became serious.
"You're the Slayer, Faith. Not that cheerleader."
"Hey now, there's no need or that. Cheerleaders are five by five."
"The Master killed her. She was dead."
"She's alive and slaying."
"She was dead. Then Kendra came along, got dead, and enter you. Faith. According to that slayage line you are the Slayer. The Chosen One. Buffy's just a fluke. Stealing your staking glory."
"I'm over that."
"Why? Why do you let her get the respect you rightfully deserve. I bet your Watcher would tell you the same thing I'm telling you right now."
"My Watcher's dead."
"I know, but you aren't. You should reclaim your birthright. Your destiny, Faith."
"Why are you telling me this?" Faith leaned forward in her chair with a smile. "You want me to hate them all over again. You want me to blame them! Forget you." Darla's smile was soft, but Faith's face remained unbroken and unsettled. The dark-haired slayer glared at the woman sitting across form her. Then Darla's gentle voice stung her.
"Those are very lovely earrings." The girl's hand automatically touched the claddaugh hoops adorning her ears. Her face was still void as she quietly removed them.
"Yeah, but they hurt." In her hand she held them, listening to their silver clank as she stared down at them, shaking them slightly within her palm. Then Faith stood up, her voice commanding and righteous.
"If you do anything to ruin Angel I will kill you. Slayer's promise."
"I'm no longer a vampire, child." Faith shrugged.
"So? I've killed a mortal before. No biggie." The dark-haired girl walked away, back behind the counter, and Darla's pizza was cold. When Darla left the pizza parlor Faith put the claddaugh hoops on again.


The door to his apartment opened, and Darla walked through the doorway, her petite elegance gliding in front of him. She smiled, looking down at him. Her blonde strands framed her beautiful face, and her violet eyes seemed to glow at him.
"How come every time I come home you're always sitting on the couch? Are you waiting up for me, Lindsey?"
"Yes." His eyes slowly drifted down her body, and he noticed the scrape on her knee. He gestured with his fingers to her damaged skin.
"What happened?" Darla tilted her head to the side and smiled adoringly.
"I fell." "Just like a little girl.”
“Where did you fall?"
"On the steps of the Hyperion." The lawyer with the dark silky waves nodded.
"Of course." Since she had entered Darla held her hands to her chest, fidgeting with her slender fingers.
"It hurts." His fingers began to trace a circle around her bleeding scrape, his fingertips warm and gentle. Darla watched the movement of his fingers as his hazel eyes observed the small wound.
"It will heal."
"Not as fast. Would you kiss it?" He looked up at her for a moment, still savoring the smoothness of her skin. Then he slowly brought his lips to her crimson anomaly. Darla smiled as his lips stung her with their caring touch. Without asking him she felt his tongue briefly press against her knee.
"What does it taste like?" Her smile showered down upon him as Lindsey continued to stroke the skin around her wound. Then his eyes looked up at her.
"Tastes like you."
"You want to be my boy?" She reached down for his hand, and he stood, allowing her to guide him into his bedroom.


Her blonde head rested upon his shoulder, the blue sheets clutched loosely to her breasts. When Darla placed her hand on Lindsey's chest he silently panicked, hoping she wouldn't realize the quickening of his heartbeat. She closed her eyes and purred.
"Hmmm. Feels nice. The beating of your heart." Then she placed her hand over her own heart, studying its rhythm, trying to memorize its forgotten pattern.
"This is almost nicer." Her hand returned to Lindsey's body. After she had given him oral pleasure they had made love. It was the first time she had went down on him, and his mind was filled with many thoughts.
"Why did you do that?" His question seemed odd, but he wanted an answer. Instead of wrinkling her nose as she often did with him, amused by his lovable quirks, her breathing was calm.
"Because you're nice to me." The silence between them was even more relaxed than her breathing.
"Angelus never let me moan the same way twice." Secretly, Lindsey wished she hadn't spoken the vampire's name; it almost made his hand twitch. Then her voice was deeply sweet.
"Neither do you." Darla closed her eyes, and Lindsey stared through the doorway of the bedroom, pondering her statement. He didn't know what he was going to do with everything unfolding, but he knew what he would do if things didn't work out according to the firm's agenda.
"You ever see Lady and the Tramp?" Her nose wrinkled as she looked up at him, causing Lindsey to smile.
"Huh?"
"It's my favorite movie. Disney. Cartoon. Let's watch it."
"You like watching cartoons?" Her amazement with him always made him smile, and he always tried to keep himself from being a spaz when he was around her. His detachment for Wolfram & Hart was something he tried to forget when he was at home, but with Darla his coolness was neither pretense or jaded.
"You'll like it."


Giles was just getting ready to lock up the magic store when he heard the chime above the door sing softly.
"Oh, Faith. It's late. What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to talk to you. Please." The pleading loneliness within her voice was familiar to him, and he sometimes felt guilty about ignoring it when Faith had been under his care.
"Yes, of course. What is it?" He followed her as she walked to the table and sat in a chair. Her brunette hair fell past her shoulders in a slight wave. Giles sat in the chair beside her. Her head tilted to the side, her deep brown eyes searching for something.
"Giles, why is the Slayer always a girl?"
"Well, the reason is quite simple really. When I was training to be Watcher it was explained to us. Women have the ability to procreate. Vampires and demons destroy, women create. Therefore the Slayer is female because she represents life. It's goes back to long ago. To the Elizabethan viewpoint." Faith shrugged, sitting back in the chair.
"Vampires create."
"Yes, they do, but they create from death where as woman creates from life with man."
"Yeah, well, I think it's stupid." Giles adjusted his glasses, his British accent pondering her statement.
"Faith, did something happen?"
"Why does anything have to happen for me to ask you a question?"
"Nothing does. I just thought-" His sentence was left unfinished as he got up and took a book off the shelf. When he found the page he was looking for he handed the book to Faith. Silently she read the page offered to her.

Watcher's Lullaby

don't cry little slayer
the demon will feed on your tears
don't scream little slayer
the demon will feed on your fear
don't bleed little slayer
the demon will feed on your pain
don't moan little slayer
the demon will feed on your pleasure



"Gee, don't really like the last one all that much. It's pretty."
"It's been around since the Middle Ages. Maybe even before. Watchers used to sing it to their slayers." Faith stared at the song on the page. Then she looked up at Giles, her eyes endearing.
"Would you sing it to me?" Hesitation exuded from him. She smiled.
"Dude, I know you can sing. The Scoobies told me they saw you sing. Said you were bank. You know what, never mind. I'm too old for lullabies anyway. You got any more like this one?" Before Giles could open his mouth and tell her he would sing it for her she was already looking through the book.
"Um, page twenty-four." Her fingers quickly turned to the page, and she read silently again.


Slaying Song

the chosen beauty
always fair
always sad
alone in strength
alone in tears
never lives a life too told
her body turns too easy cold

Faith looked up at Giles, wrinkling her nose. "I like the other one better. This one is a tad too morbid. Why would any slayer want to sing a song that reminded her about her death? Who wrote them?"
"They're anonymous."
"That's too bad. Have you showed these to B?"
"No. They're more of past slaying history."
"They should be shared. They're beautiful. Can I have the other one? I want to hang it up."
"Um, yes. Of course you can." The dark-haired slayer nodded her head. "Great." Then she turned to the previous page and ripped it out. Giles jumped out of his seat, taking the book from her.
"Faith, I didn't mean-" She grimaced.
"It's alright." His face was soft, not scolding towards her. "We can tape it in, and I will make you a copy." Silently she handed the torn sheet to him, and he placed it back into the book.
Beneath the table she rubbed her palms on her denim thighs.
"Buffy told me once that being the Slayer was like a fucked-up fairytale to her until she saw another slayer dead. The Kendra chick. She said when she saw Kendra on the floor, bleeding, she finally realized how real the whole gig was, and how the dead slayer could have been her." She had avoided Giles' eyes until now.
"I guess I knew it was real when Kakistos killed my Watcher."
"Faith." The girl stood up and smiled with half a heart.
"Look, I gotta go now. Patrol maybe. I don't know. Whatever. Thanks for letting me talk to you. Don't forget to give me a copy of that poem thingie." Then she clicked her tongue, pointing winking 'Everything's okay' fingers at him. He let her go without singing to her.

After her heartening chat with Giles Faith got the itch to slay. The thing about Sunnydale that made her itch sweetly with that low-down tingle was that there were always plenty of vamps around that was just begging to be staked. She stood in front of the vampire looking down at its defeated grimace of surprise. Her brunette waves pushed behind her shoulders and her breasts splendid in her purple vinyl corset. Dark blue jeans and raspberry tinted gloss on her lush lips. Her eyebrow arched at the vampire, her fourth one that night.
Then her deep brown eyes sparkled with the lust.
"That's right. I am the Slayer." The stake was held tightly in her hand. "And that's dusting your ass." Violet ash exploded on to the grass.