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Remaining
hidden in the shadows, silent tears slipping down my face, I watch
as Calli leaves the city, my heart shattering with every step she
takes. I'd walked away from her, ayetwice, out of fear of hurting
her. Yet, that knowledge does nothing to ease my pain. A pain that
grows, consuming me as Calli disappears in the forest, leaving me
alone to face the monster I have become."You didn't actually think
she'd stay, did you?" he asks softly from behind me. I close my
eyes, striving to shut out the pain. "Tragic." He whispers, moving
closer. "How many times has she left you without word or reason?
How many times did you find yourself tracking her down, refusing
to walk away from her, standing by her side no matter what? Even
to the point of betraying a young friend who had not only asked
your aid, but desperately needed you.""Your point being?" I ask
hoarsely. "In your darkest time, in your greatest need, she walks
away from you. All right, you told her, too, but I ask you this.
If the roles were reversed, would you have left her? No. You wouldn't
have. Yet, she demands to know if you love her! I'd say that it
is her love that is in question, not yours." He answers."I love
Calli for who she is. It was never my intent to change her. She
has her own path to walk." I snap, starting to walk away.He grabs
my arm, dragging me close to him, his touch bitterly coldeven to
me. "Even you don't believe that, Nigel! When two people love each
other they make the choice to walk the same path. Something Calli
has never given you. She expects you to be there for her, but not
to give the same in return. For that matter, a great deal of people
do this to you. Where are all of your friends now that it is you
who need them? Tending to their own lives, not even sparing you
a thought!" he whispers darkly.I face him, struggling to deny it
within myself. "That isn't true." I growl."Isn't it, Nigel?" he
asks, stepping back. "You know as well as I that you loose a little
more of yourself every day. With every life the beast takes savagely,
the beast wins a little victory. How much longer can you hold out
against yourself? How long before you fall completely? Sadly, Calli's
presence alone would have given you the strength you need to win
this war. A great number of people will die brutal deaths, and why?
Because she cannot love you enough to give you what you need. You
will become the very thing you hate, the very thing you have destroyed
for years, all because you stand alone. Alone, Nigel." "Nay!" I
roar, fighting to hold on to what I am, to who I am. His words stir
up an anger in me that I never knew I had, fueling the ever growing
feeling of helplessness within me, giving strength to the beast
I'm becoming. I have to fight it! I have to! "They have helped me!
At the risk of their own lives! Angel protected me when I was in
torpor! Calli lost her eyesight to heal me! You're wrong! You're
wrong, d*mn you!""If I'm wrong why are you so angry? Why is the
pain within you growing? Because, Nigel, I'm right. A fact we both
know." He says softly. He holds out his hand, beckoning to me. "It
is time that the truth be known, Nigel. Come to me. Accept what
I offer."I stare down at his hand, struggling against the ever-growing
desire to do just what he offers. Who is he? This dark demon prince
determined to see me fall? How does he know so very much about me?
About my friendsmy life? Slowly I look into his eyes, seeing the
truth there. This is a battle I cannot winfor I lost it long ago......
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