10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No Thanks. Just Sniffing..
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this.
6. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
5. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
4. Will you model this for me???
3. The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!
2. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.
And the number one thing that a man should never, ever sayout loud in Victoria's Secret:
1. 45 bucks?? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway!!
THE TOP TEN REASONS TRICK-OR-TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
6. Person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
1. If you don't get what you want, you could always go next door.
10) Hey! There's a gift.
9.) Well, well, well...
8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.
7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.
6.) Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
1.) I really don't deserve this.
10) You've already stopped reading this.
9) You find Mike Tyson fights to be fun but longwinded.
8) You step into the shower and curse the weatherman for not forecasting
that damn rainstorm!
7) Before entering a public restroom you check under your pants for
verification.
6) You ask someone for directions and when they answer-the elevator
music kicks in.
5) The only thing exceeding your daily word count of "What?" is
"Uhhh..come again?"
4) It takes 3 years for your bookmark to graduate 3 pages.
3) Your parents enroll you in a 12-step program for your Post-It Note
addiction.
2) At the end of your dream there's a MTV Copyright.
1) You channel surf so much your local cable company sends you a letter
that reads: "Please stop. You're making us queasy."
10. "Now.. show me how you used to spank her."
9. "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?"
8. "I just got my license today."
7. "Five bucks says she's a D-cup."
6. "You taught her to swallow, didn't you?"
5. "I feel like we both have something in common, she calls ME daddy too!"
4. "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob.'"
3. "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature."
2. "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter."
1. "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?"