by Jill Dannay
Disclaimer: Farscape isn't mine. SciFi airs it. If I owned it... I wouldn't change a thing. 'Cept maybe I'd have let Pilot keep his arm.
Summary: Aeryn Sun reflects on her time on board Moya, at the end of her life.
Archiving: My site(s) only, unless you get permission directly from me.
That means ask first.
Notes: I don't know where this came from. Becca wrote a story called "Boxes," and it was kind of introspective, and I just got this idea... Oh, and Italics represent Aeryn's POV.
"Aeryn? Do you need anything?"
Former Peacekeeper Aeryn Sun glanced up and smiled tiredly. "No, thank you, Zhaan. I am fine... but I do wish some time alone, if you wouldn't mind."
"Of course," the Delvian priest answered with understanding, moving quietly out of Aeryn's room in the planetside home they had built. Outside, through her window, Aeryn could see the sun begin to set. John always liked seeing the sun set...
The thought startled Aeryn. It had been many years since she had thought of the human. Many years since she had last seen John Chrichton alive and well. Many years since the astronaut had been alive.
Unbidden, the memory of Chrichton's death replayed in Aeryn's mind--the explosion, the shooting, the dust from the caves they had been fighting in, side by side until suddenly, Chrichton fell.
It had taken Aeryn several long moments to knock down the last of her opposition. The instant the shooting had stopped, however, she dropped to her knees beside the human, checking for any sign of life. A brief flicker, a blink of the eyes, a murmured word, "Aeryn...", then he was gone. Gone to his 'bright light,' or perhaps the darkness Aeryn had always believed would be death.
The rest of that day was a blur in Aeryn's mind. D'Argo, lifting Chrichton's lifeless body in order to return it to Moya. Zhaan's questions, to which she'd given vague, almost unreal answers. D'Argo escorting her to her quarters. Staring at the stars for hours, days.
The first time she'd stepped onto the bridge after Chrichton's death was a bittersweet moment. Zhaan and D'Argo were there, quiet, somber. Aeryn couldn't help but glance over to where Chrichton should be standing, nor could she stop the slight flinch when she realized he wasn't there. But he would have wanted her--all of them--to go on, to beat Crais in his memory. He'd have wanted us all to get home.
And we did. After much struggle, we found our way back to our respective planets. D'Argo was reunited with his son. Rygel reclaimed his throne. Zhaan... I don't know what Zhaan did. She went to her homeworld, but that's all I know. After a time, however, Zhaan came to me, still searching for meaning. And I... I was no longer a Peacekeeper. So I 'settled down.' Oh, I still trained, and I hunted and such, even went on a few space flights. But each time I went up, I remembered Chrichton. He loved flying so much... I think, sometimes, that being in space was the only reason he was able to stand being away from Earth. But he was brave. Always brave.
His memory haunted me, for a long time. There was so much we should have said, but didn't. Or, well, I should have said, but didn't. I'd forgotten that I didn't have all the time in the universe.
I could have fallen in love with him. Given time, it would have happened. But now, all I have are memories of him, and a wish....
But not for long. Soon my wish will come true and I'll see him again, if he's right about the white light, and meeting old friends. Soon we'll be together again, for an eternity... and there will be time to make up for our missed chances...
Zhaan stood silently, staring out at the stars. Behind her, Aeryn's body lay still and silent on the bed. With a smile, she recalled the time Chrichton told her about 'wishing stars.' "When I was a kid," he'd said, "I used to wish on the first star I saw. Most of the time, it was that I'd meet aliens myself someday. Guess my wish came true."
"Now I will make a wish on a star, John," Zhaan said quietly. "I wish... I wish for you and Aeryn to find peace in your time beyond this life. And to find each other, as it should have been.
"Goodnight, John, Aeryn. Rest well."
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