by Penny
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Summary: The title pretty much covers it.
Feedback: Definitely. If you like it please let me know. If you don't (and are silly enough to read all of it anyway) please let me know specifically how I could improve my writing. It might save you pain in later fics.
Archive: I would be delighted if you would ask.
Special note: There are no specific episode spoilers in this fic. A very special thank you to the two Beta readers who helped catch my errors and provided some guidance. If you like the story, it is in part due to the efforts of Jessica and Jo.
Disclaimer: The characters and concept of Farscape is owned by The Jim Henson Company (and bless them for it) and probably the Sci-Fi Channel as well. This is a work of fan fiction and done out of love for the show.
There will be no monetary gain. Although based on the show the idea for this story remains my own.
*****
"Am I doing it wrong?" Aeryn asked mockingly.
"What?" John replied, startled out of his thoughts.
"You've been watching me eat for the last quarter arn. I thought you were staring because I was doing it wrong."
"No, no," John replied, suddenly finding his own untouched and unappetizing food cubes very interesting. He toyed with what passed for food on Moya for a few more seconds before giving up and pushing the plate away. The rattlers in his stomach weren't going to let him eat. He took a deep breath and looked back at the ex-Peacekeeper. "Aeryn, we should be at the next commerce planet in about twelve arns, right?"
"I was wondering if, ah, if when we get there you'd like to go out with me?" John asked cautiously, a slight smile playing about his mouth.
"Go out with you?" Aeryn repeated, not quite certain what he meant.
"Yes, you know, on a date," John said with slightly more confidence.
"A date? You want a particular time to go with me down to the commerce planet?" Aeryn said slowly while watching his face intently. She was certain that there was something about this request that she didn't understand.
"Maybe I'm not explaining this right." John looked around the dining area briefly before looking back at Aeryn. "On Earth, when a man wants to spend some time with a woman, he asks her on a date."
"We're together all the time."
"Yeah, but we're either fixing this or that on Moya or you're teaching me how to use this piece of equipment or else we're fighting for our lives. We haven't really had the time to be together to just relax and enjoy each other's company; to get to know each other."
"This is an Erp custom, this date?" Aeryn asked.
"Earth, Aeryn, that's Earth and yes, I guess you could call it a type of custom." John was starting to feel exasperated. It could be hard asking a woman out for the first time back home but he didn't remember it ever being this difficult.
"What does a date entail?" Aeryn asked curiously.
John took this as a good sign. He answered her with a smile. "Well, a date usually involves going out to eat, some interesting conversation and then maybe taking in some of the local entertainment or taking a long slow walk."
"This is how men and women get to know each other on your planet?"
John nodded, "It's one way, yes."
"Sounds almost like a mating ritual," Aeryn pronounced flatly.
"No, no," John protested. "A courtship custom maybe, but not a mating ritual. No, definitely not!"
"Courtship custom, mating ritual, it's the same thing isn't it? Is the end result of a date copulation?"
"Yes, NO, all right, sometimes, but that's not the point...."
"What's not the point?" D'argo asked as he sauntered into dining area.
Aeryn looked the Luxan with a mischievous grin. "Crichton wants to copulate."
"He's an adult male, of course he does," D'argo said matter-of-factly.
"Just forget it," John said briskly, rising from the table for a quick get away. "It was probably a bad idea anyway."
"Yes," Aeryn said.
"Well, just pretend I didn't say anything. I was out of line." John tried to get around the large Luxan and leave before he embarrassed himself further.
"No, Crichton, yes I will go on one of these dates with you when we get to the commerce planet."
John stopped dead and slowly turned back to her. He saw to his shock that she was smiling at him. "You will?"
"You are sure that it isn't a mating ritual?"
"Positive!"
"Then it sounds like a nice way to get away for a bit and just relax."
"Great, just great," Crichton said adding his best, most charming smile. "I'll see you later and we can talk about the specifics." John backed out of
the dining area, turned and began whistling as he walked off down the corridor.
D'argo sat at the table and reached for Crichton's abandoned food cubes. "He wants to copulate," he said casually to his Sebacean ship mate.
"I know," Aeryn smirked.
D'argo looked at her and saw the roguish gleam in her eyes. He began to laugh. "You are a very wicked woman."
"I know," she agreed, taking another bite of a brown food cube.
*****
Aeryn entered the bridge to find Zhaan monitoring the controls. "I can take over for a while now. Your skill as a mediator is needed. Rygel's throwing
a tantrum about what trade merchandise to take down to the planet and the relative priority of items we need to purchase. He seems to believe that acquiring Zelfian perfumed body oil is an absolute necessity. D'argo is about ready to gut him."
Zhaan shook her head in exasperation at the capriciousness of the exiled Hynerian Dominar. "I'll go and see what I can do." She looked at Aeryn
from the corner of her eyes. "I heard that you and John are going to participate in a mating ritual."
Aeryn turned her head so sharply that Zhaan could almost hear the bone snap. "Where did you hear such a thing?" Her eyes narrowed. "Never mind, only a
certain Luxan was present. Well, he told you wrong. It isn't a mating ritual, it's a way to relax."
Zhaan grinned. "Yes, well it can be, can't it."
Aeryn raised her eyebrows in mock shock. "It isn't going to be like that, Crichton isn't even a Sebacean."
Zhaan persisted. "I hear that the physiology is similar."
Aeryn straightened her bearing. "Zhaan, I'm just teasing Cri.."
Zhaan interrupted her. "That may be what you intend but where John is involved things never seem to work out as planned. John's heart is very large and he cares for you. Be careful of his feelings and your own." Without further words she turned and left the bridge.
With a slightly troubled look, Aeryn watched her leave.
Go on to part two
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