by Rachel Schaefer
Spoilers: The Flax
Summary: Aeryn has nightmares about events that happened while in the flax; from Aeyrns POV
Disclaimer: All Farscape characters belong to Henson, Sci-fi, etc; In other words, they don't belong to me.
Archive: If you want it, you can take it. Just let me know. :o)
Arthur's' Note: This story wouldn't be possible if it hadn't been for my friend, Melissa, helping me get past my writers block. So "THANK YOU, Melissa!"
*****
I lay alone in the darkness.
Afraid to go to sleep.
Afraid that the nightmares will come.
They've come every night since we got caught in the flax. Your lying on the ground, not breathing. I try to save you, continuously lowering my mouth to yours and breathing life saving oxygen into your lungs. Your face turns pale and I can no longer see the passion that used to burn deep in your eyes. I can feel your hands turn icy cold; and as I watch you, a tear slowly falls down my face. I try to scream out your name, but it comes out only as a whisper.
.......But then the dream ends........
The panic that I feel makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. I want to run to your room, to lay down next to you, so I can feel the heat of your body next to mine. So I can hear the beating of your heart as my head rests on your chest. I want to fall asleep in your arms knowing your safe.
But I can't move, I'm paralyzed by the fear that you won't be here tomorrow. I know your safe, but the memories of what happened in the flax keep flashing through my mind; the fact that I can't stop remembering scares me in more ways than one. I'm scared that I'm loosing the control I learned as a Peacekeeper. The control to block the memories of people in my unit being killed in front of my eyes. Their blood staining my clothes and leaving me speechless. I used to be able to block out these memories, but its different with you. I want to remember all the moments I have with you. I want to tell you what I feel, but the uncertainty of what you would do is too much. So as I lay here, I hope the nightmares won't come as I drift off to sleep.
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