by Leontien Bosch
DISCLAIMER: I'm glad to say that I don't own the various characters that
were tortured and mutilated during the writing of this fic. How's that
for a disclaimer?
SUMMARY: No! No summary available at this time…
ARCHIVING: Yep! Ask me though.
NOTES: Sequel to Darkness (and no! The title had no meaning what so
ever. This one has no meaning either. I can't give stories proper titles
without muse.) And as usual, I didn't watch that part of the PK Tech
Girl episode again.
NOTES2: It's kinda jumping from Aeryns POV to Crichtons POV. No shippy
things here, since I didn't get my cookies.
FEEDBACK: All presents, comments, Crichtons will be accepted with a big
goofy smile. All flames will be dealt with by the Fire Department. (And
no, we haven't made peace yet!) So send everything to this address:
EdenAdvance@yahoo.com (until I get my Farscape address :-)
*****
He stood there, watching the stars… watching as the box carrying Gilina
drifted away into darkness. I had performed a Sebacean ritual for
Gilina, as much as I disliked her. But I did it for John, because he had
loved her and he was my shipmate, as he had called it on board the
Zelbinion. And Gilina had been a Sebacean, a Peacekeeper, like I was
once. It had been my duty to perform the ritual.
I stood there, in the shadows, watching him grief. I wanted to go over
to him, to say something to him, but I couldn't move. "Coward." I said
to myself.
Suddenly John turns, and sees me. As I watch his face, I notice the red
eyes, the result of his tears. He walks towards me, leaving the Terrace.
After the initial shock of the Tech's death, he ignored me, didn't utter
a single word towards me. I know he blames me for her death, I didn't
protect her when those thugs shot at us on the commerce planet. He never
noticed that I was wounded as well. This makes me wonder. What if it
would've been me who was dead? Would he be grieving? Would Gilina have
performed the ritual? Would there be a funeral?
As he passes me, he stops to look at me. As I look in his eyes, the once
sparkling blue eyes, full of life, I see… hatred? But then it is gone,
and so is he…
I'm alone now, lonelier than I've ever been in my entire life. I watch
the stars for a few microns, and then I turn and leave as well.
******
I watch her… and as she drifts into space, I wonder what could've been.
All I see is darkness… nothing. Was she meant to die there, on that
planet? Vaguely I remember a movie I once saw about ghosts, coming back
to haunt their loved ones… "Why did she had to die?" I softly ask to no
one in particular. Why her? Why Gilina, the only one out here that
understands me. The one that had enough patience to teach me so much.
Life really sucks. The words bring back a memory, one that changed my
life completely.
"Life sucks…"
"It brought us together."
"It sucks a little less."
I almost smile at that. Almost… because it hurts to smile. Everything
hurts right now and it makes me wonder if I'll ever feel like I used to.
I turn around and see her, the other one, standing there in the shadows,
watching me. Or is it watching over me? Ever since Gilina died, either
Zhaan or Aeryn has been following me around, watching me. I don't pay
too much attention to it, but it annoys me. Sometimes I feel like
lashing out at them, just yelling at them. I wonder what Aeryns reaction
would be. I already know what her reaction is, because it already
happened once, when I was protecting Gilina. Gilina simply accepted
Aeryns hatred towards her, but I didn't. For once, Aeryn was going to
lay off, she wasn't going to pull rank on Gilina again.
"Aeryn! I need to talk to you right now!" I yelled, barging into her
room. She was sleeping, after spending the entire night in Command. I
didn't mind waking her up, but obviously she wasn't too happy about it.
"What do you want!?" she replied, half asleep.
"Stay away from Gilina, you hear me! If I ever get to hear you pestering
her again, I will personally knock you out cold. And I don't care what
they say about hitting a woman."
I remember the look on her face when I said that. She wasn't afraid, she
probably knew I wouldn't be able to knock her out cold without getting
hit a few times myself. But she saw the anger in my eyes, I knew that.
She had crossed the line and I was going to make it clear what would
happen the next time. There wasn't going to be a next time, because
Gilina wasn't here anymore…
I walk towards Aeryn, intending to leave the terrace, but as I pass her,
something makes me stand still. She's looking at me and I stare at her.
Was she really concerned? I laugh at that. Aeryn and concerned? Never…
As she looks in my eyes, she obviously sees something that disturbs her.
But then, I walk on, towards my room.
********
A weeken later.
As I enter Command, I see Zhaan and D'Argo waiting for me.
"Good morning Aeryn." Zhaan says in her usual soft tone.
I nod to her and look at D'Argo.
"We're waiting for Crichton." He says.
"Oh." Is my reply. We don't bother to wait for Rygel anymore, as he's
mostly eating.
I ask why Zhaan called me.
"We're nearing a commerce planet. Rygel has prepared a list of things we
need, I suggest you look it over and add anything you need. You and
Crichton will have to go down, since I think you both need some time
alone." Zhaan suggests.
I sigh. Time alone with Crichton… suddenly it has become something I
fear. I didn't forget his outburst a weekens back. Nor did I forget his
threat, which, I presume, is still standing. We all turn as Crichton
enters Command. He looks like hell I must say. Obviously he's been
having trouble sleeping. Sometimes, late at night, when I return from my
usual round, I hear him. He talks in his sleep, when he's dreaming. I
listen to his dreams then, but mostly they are nightmares. Other times,
they are about his time with Gilina, then I move on quickly. He looks at
Zhaan and D'Argo, but his eyes avoid me, like they have been doing for a
weeken now. I listen as Zhaan explains everything to Crichton and I see
him nod. But whether he likes some time alone with me, I don't know.
*******
I watch Aeryn as she flies the transport down to the planet. I
understood Zhaans message clearly, by the time we get back to Moya,
Aeryn and I need to be on speaking terms again. When Gilina died, I
blamed Aeryn, probably for not dying. At that point I wanted Aeryn dead
and Gilina to live instead. But later on, I understood that it wasn't
fair to think of her that way. Aeryn had nothing to do with Gilina's
death. I agree with myself, I have been harsh on her lately, by avoiding
her and basically ignoring her.
Aeryn simply accepted things and didn't try to begin a conversation,
although I think deep inside, she wanted to.
As she prepares to land, I watch her more closely, while she ignores me.
She seems almost nervous, is she remembering what happened on the last
commerce planet? Or is it me, being alone with me that makes her
nervous? Is she expecting another fight between us?
As we leave the pod, I follow her towards the small town that lies ahead
of us. She is, as usual, carrying the small PK pulse rifle, prepared for
anything. I take a few big steps and adapt my pace to hers as I walk
next her.
"Hey." I say, to give it a try. Zhaan's expecting us to talk, so we
better talk.
For a moment it is quiet, then she replies.
"Hey."
I smile, she must've overheard me and Gilina discussing the word 'hey'.
But does this mean she doesn't want to talk? I decide to give it another
try.
"Hey."
She stops and looks at me. "I don't want to talk Crichton." She says and
starts walking again.
"Suit yourself." I reply and follow her. And bump into her as she
suddenly stops.
"What!? What did you say?"
I sigh. "It's nothing. Have your own way I meant."
She starts walking again, and I trail after her. After a few moments, I
try again.
"You know I don't blame you anymore. It wasn't your fault." Nothing. She
keeps walking, but I don't intend to give up.
"Aeryn, it's clear why Zhaan sent us on this little camping trip. She
knows how our relationship is suffering with all this." Finally a
reaction.
"What relationship? We're nothing more than shipmates, right?" she
snaps.
"We could be more. We could be friends again."
"What if I don't want to be your friend?" Dammit Aeryn, why do you need
to do so difficult everytime?
"The whole ship is suffering from our little argument. Why can't we be
like the way we were before we found the Zelbinion?" Before I met
Gilina, I silently add.
Her mouth opens, as if she intends to say something, but thinks better
of it as it closes again. The rest of the short hike was made in
silence.
******
Why did I have to do so… unfriendly towards him? He wants it back the
way it used to be. Before we found the Zelbinion. In my mind, I add
'before we met Gilina'. Everything changed because of Gilina. I had
never seen John so protective of anyone else. I want to answer his
question, but I have no idea what to reply. So I say nothing and
increase the pace.
As we entered the town, I quickly spotted the goods we needed and
without saying anything to John, I headed towards the nearest stall. The
merchant looks at my rifle for a moment and then turns towards John. I
don't listen as he buys the goods, I look around, to see if there's any
danger. Seeing none, I turn towards Crichton again, happy to see him
packing the goods. Now we can return to Moya and he can ignore me again.
As we both turn at the same time, I see a small group of man approaching
us. I also notice that they are all armed…
******
Happy with completing our little shopping mission so quickly, I smile at
Aeryn, but she doesn't notice it. As we both turn around, I wonder who
noticed the guards first. As they close in on us, I notice from the
looks on the face that they don't have too friendly intentions.
"Aeryn…" I whisper. "We need to get back to the pod." From the corner of
my eye, I see her nodding. As we start running, I hear their leader yell
"Stop!" before they start pursuing us.
As we got closer to the pod, I look behind me and noticed that the
soldiers were still behind us. I call to Aeryn to hurry up and she
reaches the pod first. As I reach the pod, I feel a searing pain go
through my leg and I enter the pod stumbling. As Aeryn closes the door,
I take a look at my leg and notice a bright spot forming. Aeryn watches
my leg for a few microts. Then, hearing the soldiers banging on the
pod, she starts pre-flight procedure and lifts off…
*******
While piloting the pod, I steal a few glances at Crichton. His leg
doesn't look to good, although it isn't bleeding as badly anymore. It's
the rest of him that I'm worried about. He's shivering, as if he's
having it cold, but I raised the temperature of the pod as high as
possibly, without me suffering from Heat Delirium. As we leave the
planet's atmosphere, I look at him once more and notice that he's
getting paler. "This was not an ordinary bullet." I think to myself as I
see Moya coming closer. As I feel the pull of the docking web, I rush
over to Crichton. He's almost unconscious, I note to myself and I catch
myself wondering what Zhaan would do.
I hadn't noticed that the pod had already docked, and I look up as Zhaan
enters the pod. Seeing Crichton, she rushes over to us and feels his
pulse. Then she prays to him, in a language I can't understand nor my
translator microbes can translate. Suddenly D'Argo barges into the pod
and looks at us on the pod's floor. Without saying anything, he pushes
me away and lifts Crichton in his strong arms. I watch Zhaan leave after
D'Argo, and I sit here, in the pod for a moment, then I follow them.
As I wait outside his room, D'Argo passes me on the way out. He looks at
me for a moment, and I noticed something in his eyes. He looked almost
sad. But it is gone as he leaves me here, standing to await Zhaan's
report on his condition.
As I wait, Rygel hovers into Crichtons room, followed by two DRD's. It
makes me angry that everyone can enter his room, except me. When I tried
to, Zhaan dismissed me, telling me to wait outside. Yet D'Argo, Rygel
and the DRD's can enter. I look up as Rygel floats into the hallway.
"She wants to see you." Rygel says and then hovers in the direction of
the mess.
Slowly, I enter John's room, and somewhere in my mind I note that it was
once Gilina's room as well. He looks so small, so innocent as he lies
there on the bed. As I walked closer, Zhaan turns towards me and I
notice the sad look on her face. Quickly, I look back at John and see
his chest rise and fall as he breathes.
"He's not dead, isn't he?" I ask her.
"No, but he's very sick. I need to go to the lab to test this blood
sample for poison. Someone needs to watch over him until I get back. I
thought Rygel wasn't the right person and since D'Argo is in Command, I
thought you could watch him for me." The priestess explained.
I nod and sit down on his bed, my hand on his hand. As I look back at
Zhaan, I notice she's already gone. As I wait for Zhaan to return with
results, Crichton starts to get delirious. For a while I listen to his
murmuring, but when I hear Gilina's name, I focus on Moya's vibrating
sound.
As I look around the room, I see the wet cloth Zhaan used to cool
Crichton's forehead. I grab it and use it on him. Instantly, he relaxes
beneath me and he is quiet for a few microns. As I turn to lay the cloth
back down, his hand suddenly grabs my arm, so fast that I hadn't noticed
it until he pulled me down.
'He must think I'm Gilina.' I think and I don't resist his pull. As I
lay besides him, I hear his words. For a microt I think I heard wrong,
but as he repeats it, I know that my biggest wish, besides returning
home, is happening…
"I love you, Aeryn." He murmurs. And as he lies there, I lay my head on
his chest and listen to the beating of his heart…
*******
Zhaan returned half an arn later and found us both asleep, holding
eachother. Crichton's illness faded soon after Zhaan administered an
antidote. His words weren't fever-induced, as he remembered them clearly
afterwards. We're friends now, even closer than before we met Gilina.
After a few solar days, John asked me to move in with him, so now we
live together and spend every possible moment together. At nights, when
we can't sleep, we go to the Terrace, and we sit there, his arms around
me and then we talk for arns, about everything we can think of.
"What are you thinking about?" I hear him ask and I move in his arms to
look at his, in his blue eyes, full of life…
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