Last Kiss

by JT Marechal


DISCLAIMER AND OWNERSHIP NOTES: "Farscape" and its characters are owned by TPTB. I intend to reap no monetary reward for this fan fic. It's just for fun. I'm just borrowing the characters and I promise to return them when I'm done. The story is mine - Copyright 2000 by James Marshall, except for the excerpts from the various episodes. *Those* are owned by TPTB. This story is a work of fiction.

RATING: PG

ARCHIVING: Permission is given for this story to be archived at kitsah's site if she wants it. All others, please ask.

SPOILERS: "PK Tech Girl", "Nerve", "The Hidden Memory", "A Bug's Life"

BETA-READER: Thank you, Tamy. Any mistakes that remain are mine.

NOTES: This story is the result of an offhand comment by Anthony Docimo. He said, "I don't think _anybody_ could write a Larraq/Gilina story." I don't know if it was intentional, but telling a writer that something can't be done is the perfect inducement to get the writer to do it.

*****

"Welcome to the Officers' Lounge, Captain Larraq," said Commander Javio. "What will you have?"

Gilina smiled. It couldn't be. There was, however, only one Captain Larraq who could possibly be on duty out here in the Uncharted Territories. It had been over a cycle since she'd seen him. To be able to surprise him, here, was too delicious. She remembered the days (and nights) they'd spent together. Maybe being assigned to this dren-hole of a base would have an up side.

She'd have to wait until the Base Commander had left, though. She wanted to make sure she stayed out of *his* line of sight, even if only a fraction of the stories were true.

She heard Javio ask, "Does she give good … value?"

Good value? That … thing … flirting with Lt. Heskon is *his*? She couldn't be. He wouldn't … would he? No more stalling.

Gilina turned. She froze for a moment, and then quickly turned around again.

That's not Jorian Larraq. That's John Crichton. What's *he* doing here? Why is he posing as Jorian? What happened?

Gilina took a long drink of Raszlak to calm herself. There will be time enough for questions later, she told herself. First, however, I have to make sure he doesn't get caught when he's genetically scanned. Posing as a Captain, he'll be quartered in the high security area. I'd better go.

Quickly and quietly, Gilina slipped out of the lounge.

*****

"Stay here," Gilina continued. "I'll take the sample to the medical unit."

"No, no, no," John said. "I'm not gonna put you at risk."

"I won't be," Gilina said. "I can fake the work orders and the Med Techs won't ask any questions." She grinned. "We're used to secrecy."

"Still too dangerous," John said, putting out a hand to stop her. "I'll go."

"John," Gilina said, "you should stay hidden. Suppose somebody here knew the real Larraq."

Crichton slumped, admitting defeat, and Gilina left the room with the sample.

Gilina was careful to walk at the same pace as the other Techs in the hallway, but her mind was racing.

*I* know the real Larraq, she thought. He's dead, isn't he, John? He must be, for you to have his ident-chip. But did *you* kill him, you and the other escaped prisoners? How? He was one of the best of us. Why is it …?

She arrived at her quarters and her inner monologue took a back seat to her work. Quickly, she created the fake work order in the system, then created the copy on her own computer-pad. Indicating that she was the Tech assigned to obtain it. Finished, she headed toward the Base Medical Facility.

Why is it, she continued in her thoughts, that I am always brought together with men through death? Death … then passion … then loss ….

Arriving at Base Medical, she presented the work order on her computer-pad to one of the Med Techs. They told her they would provide her with synthesized paraphoral tissue … the latest thing … one dose and some bed rest would lead to complete recovery. It would take half an arn.

"I'll wait," she told them. "Orders."

None of the Med Techs tried to engage her in conversation. PeaceKeepers tended to keep to their own level. Med Techs with Med Techs.

Engineering Techs with Engineering Techs. Commandos with Commandos.

But not always.

Waiting, she had time to remember ….


Two cycles ago, on Sebacea.

Gilina had finally been given an extended leave so she could visit her home. She arrived to find a strange man there, talking to her mother.

"Gilina!" her mother cried. "I'm so glad you're home." Rushing forward, her mother hugged her tightly.

"What is it mother?" Gilina asked, sensing something wrong.

"I just received word. Your father."

Gilina stopped, waiting. She had always known this day would come.

"How?" she finally asked.

"On a mission," the man said, stepping forward. "I can't tell you the details, but he died on duty, as a PeaceKeeper."

"Of course," said Gilina, who was fiercely proud of her father. "He is … was … the best."

"Forgive me," her mother said. "This is Commander Larraq. Commander, this is my daughter, Gilina."

"My father was a Captain," Gilina said. "Why did they send a commander?"

"I requested this," Larraq replied.

"Why?" Gilina asked, curious.

"Captain Gerrazko Renayz was my teacher and, as much as a superior officer *could* be, my friend. I felt I owed it to him."

"Come inside," Gilina's mother said. "My daughter is on leave, and you don't have to go back right away … do you, Commander?"

"No, Mrs. Renayz. If Gilina doesn't object?"

"No. Of course not. I would like to hear more of my father, Commander Larraq."

"Please," he said, "call me Jorian."

A small smile appeared on her face. "Jorian," she agreed.

"So you see," Gilina was saying two arns later, "you probably know my father better than I ever did."

"The military life," Larraq agreed. "It's the one part of it I do not look forward to, being apart from my family."

"So you're married?" Gilina's mother asked, a bit disappointed.

"No," Larraq laughed. "Not yet. Someday, I hope." He checked his chronometer. "And now, I'm afraid I *must* go."

"Gilina, walk the commander out, would you?"

"Mother," Gilina said quietly, in a warning tone.

Larraq laughed again and Gilina smiled in return. She decided that she liked his laugh.

At the door, Gilina said, "Thank you … for everything. This has been hard on my mother, although she'd never show it."

"She's strong," Larraq said, "as is her daughter."

Gilina blushed a little. She held out her hand. "Good bye, Jorian."

Larraq took her hand in both of his, then kissed it. "Perhaps I could come back another time?"

Gilina looked down, smiling. "I'm on leave for two weekens. After that …."

"Shh…." He caressed her long blonde hair. "Like the rising sun," he said, "we'll deal with each day when it gets here."


"I said your sample is here," the Med Tech repeated.

"What?" Gilina came back to herself to see the Med Tech holding out an injector containing the paraphoral tissue. "Oh, thank you," she said, taking the injector.

As the door closed behind her, she took a deep breath. Too many memories.

She headed back to the room where John was waiting for her.

*****

"I'd better get back to the ship. If I'm late, Aeryn dies."

"And I wouldn't even dream of stopping you," Gilina told him. She paused, then added, "We always seem to be saying good bye."

"Yeah," Crichton agreed. "You'd think we'd get better at it."

He looked as if he was about to say more, but Gilina said, "Go."

Crichton walked away, trying to reach his ship.

I don't understand, Gilina thought. I kissed him and he didn't even respond. Not like before ….


Half a cycle ago, aboard the remains of the Zelbinion. Aeryn Sun had just walked in on them as they were kissing, then walked away, obviously bothered by what she'd seen. John had gone after her.

Gilina thought to herself, why is she acting that way? From what John told me, she'd never shown any interest in him except when he annoyed her. Is it because of the Sebacean "racial purity" prohibitions? I'm not planning on bearing his children. It's just that … it has been a while. And John is kind, and funny … and a he's a Tech, like me. Here he comes again, tall and handsome. I could fall in love with him.

"John, is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I think so. Aeryn and I just had to clear the air."

He seemed distracted. I wonder what they said to each other. "Clear the air?"

"Yeah. Clear the air. Make sure there were no misunderstandings."

"Oh," she said. "Maybe we'd better finish this."

They went back to work.


I guess I *did* fall in love with him, Gilina mused. What *happened* to him in the last couple of monens? He's different. He actually reminds me of Jorian, now … more of a warrior than a Tech like me ... more like Aeryn. That brought her up short. Aeryn? Is he in love with Aeryn Sun? And what will I do if he *is*?

*****

"How will I know if it works?" Chiana asked.

You won't get blown out of the sky," Gilina replied. She was becoming more annoyed with the gray-skinned alien every microt. "Gadget girl" indeed. If John didn't need her to do this ….

"Great," Chiana said. "Now, all I have to do is get to the Prowler."

"Well, I'll give you a diversion," Gilina offered.

"How much of a head start do you think you'll need?"

"Give me four hundred microts."

When Chiana didn't move immediately, Gilina said, "Go!"

Chiana gave her a sort of half-smile and left.

Still in the systems access room, Gilina's thought tumbled around each other. He put Aeryn first. Why? Chiana says he's in love with me. But is he? I'm not so sure. I'm not sure he'll want me to go with him.

He's been in the Aurora Chair. Sooner or later, they're going to find out that I helped him. I have to try to help him again. But how?

The four hundred microts were almost up. So far, the guards' sweeps had missed her. Gilina made the last few connections, counting down.

"Five…four … three … two … one." The Base alarms went off.

There's your distraction, Chiana. I hope you make it. I owe Aeryn Sun my life and I would rather not have that debt unrepaid. Now, all I can do is try to figure out how to help John. And wait. I wonder what Jorian would do ….


One and a half cycles ago, on the Command Carrier Brabantian.

Yet another assignment, Gilina thought. Yet another group of strangers that will question my abilities and skills until I come close to questioning them myself. Why is it that Captains of Command Carriers never trust the official records of their new crew members?

"Engineering Tech Renayz," said the duty officer.

"Sir."

"Here's your berth assignment," he said.

"Yes, sir."

Gilina moved at a steady pace to her new "home" for the next cycle … unless she got reassigned on some officer's whim.

Seeing a group of Commandos coming down the corridor, she stood aside to allow them to pass, eyes lowered. She had learned the hard way on her last assignment that looking at some Commandos in the eyes was as good as a challenge to a fight. One of the Commandos stopped in front of her.

"Gilina?"

She looked up at the sound of his voice. "Jorian?"

"It *is* you. Well, this is a surprise." The other Commandos had continued on, leaving the two of them momentarily alone. Larraq picked her up and kissed her. "I've missed you, Sunshine," he whispered in her ear.

"I've missed you, too, Jorian. I didn't know you were assigned here."

He let her go when they heard footsteps approaching. They both knew the regulations about fraternizing in duty areas.

"Go get settled in," he said. "I'm going out on patrol. When I get back, I'll find you."

Gilina nodded. She watched him as he went down the corridor after his crewmates. She knew he had been assigned a Marauder command, but Marauder crews got shifted around almost as much as Techs. Picking up her gear, which she had dropped into order to wrap her arms around Larraq, she headed for her new home with a lighter heart.


Gilina smiled at the memory. Jorian Larraq would act as a Commando acts. Figure out the best way to achieve your objective and then do it. She settled down to work. She had an idea.

*****

Gilina lay on a bed on Moya, dying. I should've remembered that I'm *not* a Commando, she thought. She winced in pain. While the Delvian worked on her, her mind wandered ….


Half a cycle ago, on the Zelbinion, waiting for Crais's Command Carrier.

He's gone. He couldn't come with me. He … he didn't want me to go with him. He said that his life was no way to live. Aeryn Sun was wrong, though. If John had asked, I *would* have gone with him. It's one thing to be forced into exile. It's another to choose exile in order to join another. Now, I am alone … again ….


One point two cycles ago, aboard the Brabantian.

Gilina waited for him in his quarters. The last several monens had been wonderful. As he had told her once before, they had dealt with each day as it arrived and tried not to worry about the future. But it was soon to be over. Gilina had gotten her orders today. In two weekens, she would be transferred to another Command Carrier, this one led by a Captain Crais. It was hard for her to focus on the moment, with the separation looming between them.

The door opened and Larraq came in.

"Hi, Sunshine," he said, smiling.

A smile lit up Gilina's face. He had called her that the first time he had come back to see her, nearly a cycle ago. She decided to wait. She could tell him about her new assignment later. She kissed him and asked, "How was your patrol?"

The smile fled from Larraq's face and he paused before answering. "Eventful."

"Oh," Gilina responded, "Is it something you can talk about?"

"No. But it's changed things."

"Changed things? How?"

"I'm being given a special assignment. Unknown duration. Dangerous."

Gilina could feel it coming. Their two weekens had disappeared. "How dangerous?"

"High Command thinks it's important. I've been promoted to Captain, beginning with this mission. When I return, if I'm successful, I'll be given my own Command Carrier."

"Captain? That's wonderful news. I'm proud of you. I think my father would be proud, too." She paused and added, "When do you leave?"

Larraq sat down. "Tomorrow morning, I'll be given my final briefing. I launch with my crew immediately afterward."

"Then we have tonight, at least," Gilina said, coming to him.

Some time later, as they lay together, Larraq said, "I'm getting tired of having to leave you."

"Shh," Gilina replied. "There will be plenty of time to talk about that when you return. We'll find each other again. I'm sure of it."

"So am I, Sunshine. One way or another, I'll find you again." Larraq smiled.

Much later, they slept.

The next morning, they kissed good-bye.

"I love you, Gilina Renayz," he said. Before she could reply, he was gone.

Later, she managed to get the duty of overhauling Prowler engines, so she was in the maintenance bay as the Commando crews headed for their Marauders. As if sensing her, Larraq turned his head and found his eyes locked with Gilina's.

"I love you," Gilina mouthed.

Larraq smiled, turned and entered the Marauder. A few microts later, he was gone.


Larraq couldn't help leaving, Gilina thought. He got a special assignment because he is … was … one of the best of us, and PeaceKeepers obey orders. John *could* have asked me to stay, but he *didn't*. Even on the Gammak Base, when he asked me to come with him, he wouldn't answer me when I asked him who he wanted to be with.

Her thoughts became more jumbled as the pain grew worse. I have to know. Jorian said it. Why won't he? I love him, but is he the same person I loved? Would Jorian have been the same when he returned?

The one they call Stark is doing something. He's … oh … that place … it's so beautiful. If only I could share it with John … with Jorian … but I can't. Jorian is gone. And I don't want to die alone. John is here. I still have to know.

"John?"

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes wet with unshed tears.

"Do you think, if things had been different, that you could have loved me?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

It's enough, Gilina thought to herself. It has to be. There's just one more thing.

"Kiss me one more time."

"Shh…"

"Kiss me."

John leaned over and kissed her, gently, one last time.

The last kiss, Gilina thought as she faded. John's kiss is a kiss of goodbye, probably forever. Just like the last time we kissed, on the Zelbinion. Jorian's kiss was a kiss of promise. I guess neither of us will be able to keep that promise. I ………

BLACKNESS

LIGHT

Gilina looked around, awestruck. The pain was gone and she was actually *in* the beautiful place that Stark had given to her. Her grandmother was there, talking to her father. Even the friends who had died on the Zelbinion were there. And in front of them, there *he* stood, as tall and proud and handsome as ever.

Larraq held out his hand. "I've been waiting for you, Sunshine."

Gilina smiled and ran to him.

Feedback
Back to JT's page