by Corde
Chapter 1
“Is there going to be a chapter 2?” Aeryn asked
snippily. “Hey!” she yelled indignantly, “that wasn’t
snippy. It was just a question. Since there was no
chapter 2 last time, there shouldn’t be a chapter 1 if
there is no chapter 2.”
“She’s right,” agreed Crichton.
“Shut up,” said Corde. “I swear, you are the worst
characters…”
“And we’re not even yours,” Chia Pet said smarmily.
“And don’t call me Chia Pet!”
“My fic, I call you what I want,” replied Corde
smugly.
“And do I get any lines this time?” asked Zhaan. “Hey
look, I do!”
D’Argo growled.
“Will all of you just leave me alone for a few minutes
so I can write this frelling fic?” Corde screamed in
frustration. “What is the MATTER with you PEOPLE?”
“Hey, that’s my line,” Crichton muttered plaintively.
“NOT ANYMORE!” yelled Corde. “Gentle readers, I
apologize for the delay. The fic will begin shortly.”
Chapter 1
“Are you sure?” asked Aeryn.
Corde throws down her quill and parchment and stomps
away yelling curses in Klingon. D’Argo watches her
leave. “Whoa,” he remarks, “mouth like a sailor…”
Chapter 7
“Okay, is anyone else having Resnick flashbacks?”
asked Chia Pet.
“Not until Loni Anderson shows up,” said Zhaan. “Or
the gardener.”
“I thought the gardener wasn’t in that one,” said
Aeryn.
“He wasn’t,” said Zhaan.
“What’s going on?” asked Pilot.
“Corde just ripped off an entire Resnick story, and it
isn’t even as good as the original,” answered Moya.
“Does that mean we all get to do it with Loni
Anderson?” Pilot asked eagerly.
“Who’s Loni Anderson?” wondered Chia Pet.
“Before your time, dear,” answered Zhaan. “Before
Corde’s too, but she read Resnick.
Chapter 22
Call me Ishmael.
Chapter 23
It was not born; it was made. It came out of the
darkness. It had no home…
“Oh wow, now an attempt at a direct quote falls flat
on its face. And it wasn’t even that funny the first
time. Give it up, Corde,” advised Aeryn.
“You wanted Resnick, I’m trying to give you Resnick.
Sorry, I don’t have the book right here in front of
me…” grumbled Corde.
“Hiya!” chirped Loni Anderson.
Zhaan punched Loni Anderson, who went down for the
count.
“Thank you!” said Moya.
“Corde, honey, where are you?” asked Bongo, Corde’s
muse.
“Hiding,” said Corde.
“What are you doing? This fic sucks,” said Bongo.
“Tell me about it. It was supposed to be really good,
but it didn’t work, and now I’m kinda stuck in it…”
Corde began to whimper.
“Don’t worry, I can fix it,” said Bongo reassuringly.
THE END
“You call that a fix?” demanded Aeryn.
“No, I call it an end. So now Corde can stop this
nonsense and write the fic she wants to,” replied
Bongo testily.
“Fine,” grumbled Aeryn. “Sheesh, this entire story
just bites. Even the title is ripped off Resnick. I
really hope the Shippers have read Resnick, or else
they’re gonna kick you right off the list.”
Corde burst into tears.
THE END
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