Back to part one

John wandered aimlessly through Moya's corridors, lost in thought. His original plan had been to retire to his quarters and try to block out the last hour, but somehow the thought of barricading himself in his room had turned unattractive. He had thought briefly about looking for Aeryn and trying to explain further, but a spark of anger had lit in his heart. *Why is it always me, my fault?* he thought angrily. *Why should I always be the one to try to make amends? She is an adult -- maybe not a human adult  -- but an adult just the same. We're both in an unfamiliar situation. Why can't she cut me some slack?* He turned, unseeing, down a left corridor. *I can't help it if Chiana thinks that stalking me is a recreational activity? How could she think that I would treat her, or Chiana, that way? Doesn't she know me better than that after all we've been through?* He marched on. *I?ve tried to be sensitive and patient, but maybe there's no future in this.* His heart constricted at the thought and he stopped abruptly.

Zhaan suddenly appeared, looking at a parchment read-out, and walked right into the frozen human. "Oh, excuse me, John, I didn't see you."

"It's okay, Zhaan, I was just...was just..."

Zhaan's penetrating blue gaze considered the obviously agitated human. "John, what's the matter?"

John looked away from her, "Oh it's nothing, Zhaan. Just having some difficulty coming to grips with certain people aboard this Ship of Fools."

"Certain people? Or just one -- an ex-Peacekeeper, perhaps?" Zhaan said with a smile.

John grinned ruefully, "Yeah, Aeryn, who else. I don't know what to do with her, how to treat her, how to even talk to her sometimes. She blows so hot and cold." Zhaan's face registered confusion at John's expression. "I mean, sometimes she seems to want a relationship with me, and other times, she seems to hate my guts. Yesterday, we were getting...getting, well you know...and today, she nearly took my head off and accused me of fooling around with Chiana. I don't know where I stand with her from one microt to the next."

Zhaan gently put her hand on John's arm, "Be patient with her, John. She does have feelings for you, of that I am certain. But like all of us, you included, she has a lot to deal with. And her Peacekeeper background has not prepared her for any of this, or you. In fact, just the opposite."

"I know, Zhaan. It's just...Oh, I don't know. How come you can understand this and she can't?"

"Well, I have been trained to be receptive to the feelings of others. And you and I share a unique bond." She smiled at him once more. "Anytime you need a ...what is it you say?... a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there."

John covered her hand with his and returned her smile. "Thanks, Zhaan. You're a good listener, and a good friend." Unexpectedly, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. Then, he turned away and headed off to his quarters.

Zhaan stood with a slight smile on her face, her hand covering the cheek that John had kissed. ***** Back in her quarters, when everyone had retired, Chiana added the final touch to her response to John's letter. She had thought about just going to his room, but decided that the human needed a more subtle approach. She was looking forward to the challenge of seducing him away from Aeryn. Her skills in that direction were becoming rusty, and she needed some practice. For a moment, she thought about the consequences of her plan, but guilt was not an emotion she experienced very often. She shrugged it off, telling herself that if she succeeded, Crichton would definitely be getting the better end of the deal. And if the stubborn Sebacean was stupid enough to throw away a good thing, well then she deserved to lose him. *Besides, * she thought, *The rewards will be double for me. He's not a bad looking specimen -- for an alien.* She tipped her head and reread her letter.

Dear John,

After our encounter in the passageway, I have come to realise that I was wrong. You deserve better than the treatment you received. I am prepared to give it to you whenever you are willing. Aeryn doesn't deserve you . I don't think she will ever be able to treat you as I think you should be treated, as I can treat you. You and I share a unique bond, different from the others. I would like to build on that. The potential for pleasure for both of us is enormous.You know it.You8ve already had a taste of it. Let's explore this together.

Chuckling to herself, Chiana left her quarters and sneaked down the corridor to John's room. Looking in cautiously, she saw that he was asleep. Employing her best burglary skills, she slipped silently into the room, went over to the counter and placed the letter next to John's carefully folded garments. *He'll find it there in the morning, and then the fun will begin.* With one more appreciative glance at the sleeping human, she slipped from the room.

*****

John sat on his bed, stunned, the letter he had found and read clutched in his hand. *Oh, man,* he thought, *This is getting way out of hand. First Aeryn, then Zhaan. Boy, Cupid sure is messed up out here.* He rose and paced around his quarters. *What am I going to do? I don't want to hurt Zhaan, but I don't want her to misinterpret our relationship.* He groaned. *She's probably still hurting after D'Argo gave her the brush off, and wrote this on the rebound.* He pulled on the rest of his clothes and went to have his breakfast.

The chamber was thankfully deserted when he got there. Grabbing some foodcubes he settled into his seat and began to wolf them down, hoping to finish before anyone else came in. However, he was not fast enough. Unheard, Zhaan came into the room. John jumped a foot when she placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned down.

"Good morning, John. I hope you are feeling better this morning?"

With the stunned expression of a deer caught in headlights, John nervously replied, "Er...good morning, Zhaan. Yes, I'm feeling much better this morning." Then he groaned inwardly. *That was a dumb thing to say. She'll think I'm better because of her letter.* He watched Zhaan as she served herself and brought her tray over to sit opposite him at the table. Under the table, her legs brushed his gently. John jumped again and quickly sidled away, watching the Delvian like a rabbit watching a fox. Zhaan continued her meal, seemingly oblivious to John's reaction.

Suddenly she reached over and touched his hand. "Have you thought anymore about our conversation of yesterday?"  

John's voice was strangled as he answered, carefully, "Frankly, Zhaan, I haven't. Have you?"

"You know I have," she replied. "I think that we need to talk about this more. I can see and feel how disturbed you are. I, too, have experienced the kind of emotions you are feeling now, and I think I can help you. You deserve to be as happy as you can be in our current situation, John. We all do."

She patted his hand once more, then rose to return her tray. On her way out the door, she again bent down over John, who sat paralysed.  Behind her, Aeryn stood in the doorway, unnoticed. "Come to my quarters later, dear John," Zhaan said and brushed his cheek with her lips. She straightened, gave Aeryn a strange look and left the centre chamber.

John nearly had a heart attack when Aeryn slammed her tray down on the table opposite him. She glared at him when he looked at her, guilt clearly written all over his face.

"Aeryn, about yesterday..." He was interrupted by Chiana who entered and immediately sat down beside him, pressing her shoulder against his.

"Good morning, Crichton," she purred. With a smirking glance at Aeryn's furious expression, she deliberately slid her hand down to slide suggestively along John's thigh. He choked and jumped away from her. She followed him along the bench, slid her hand up his forearm and whispered loud enough for Aeryn to hear, "Have you given my proposition any thought?" John looked at her in horror. She smiled suggestively.

Aeryn choked on her foodcube, and looked daggers at John. *Oh, man, I never understood the expression "If looks could kill" 'til now,* he thought. When Chiana began to slide her hand up his leg again, he leaped up and away from her. "Chiana...," he began, then turned to Aeryn, who was half way out the door. "Aeryn!" he called after her. He glared at the lounging Nebari, swore and raced out of the room.

Chiana returned to her meal, a smug expression on her face.

*****

D'Argo had spent the last day trying to avoid Aeryn. He still felt uncomfortable about what he had written, and wasn't sure how she would respond to it. But his luck ran out as he walked straight  into Aeryn, marching down the corridor, anger and hurt written all over her face. *Uh, oh,* he thought, *She must have received my letter.*

"Uh, Aeryn. Are you alright?" he asked carefully.

"Yes, I'm fine," she snapped, then her expression softened. "I'm sorry, D'Argo. You don't deserve my anger. You're too good a friend for that." D'Argo relaxed, but tensed at her next words. "But I still need you, D'Argo. Crichton is definitely not a possibility now." *Much and all as I'd like to get my hands on him,* she thought, furiously. She looked back up at D'Argo and smiled sadly. "Please don't desert me too. I really need this, and right away. If I don't, I feel like I will explode." She missed D'Argo's expression of horror. "Please meet me down in the cargo bay, in about an arn." She turned away, adding, "Please don't disappoint me, D'Argo. I've had all the rejection I can take for a while."

D'Argo watched her walk away. He thought about Aeryn's words, and felt a flash of anger at Crichton's callous treatment of her. *The cargo bay?* he thought curiously. *That's a rather strange place for her to choose.* Then he thought back to the numerous times he had come upon Crichton and Aeryn, obviously interrupting their intimacy. *They always chose the most unusual places.*

He turned back to go for his breakfast. *Crichton's letter obviously didn't work. I'll have to meet her and talk to her in person,* he thought, frankly terrified at the idea. *I?d rather meet Crais and a whole regiment of Peacekeepers unarmed.*

*****

An obviously agitated Crichton made his way down to Pilot's chamber, looking cautiously around for Aeryn. He stepped into large room and looked around.

"Is something the matter, Commander Crichton?" Pilot asked solicitously.

"Yes, Pilot, have you seen Aeryn this morning?"

"No, Commander, I have not. Why? Has something happened to her? She was in very good spirits yesterday." Pilot volunteered.

John approached the large, four-armed alien. "Yes, something has happened to her. I...we...had a fight yesterday. And then, this morning at breakfast, something happened between Zhaan and me ... and then Chiana and I... well, anyway, Aeryn was very upset. I need to find her to try to explain. I only hope I can explain...I'm not even sure myself what's going on anymore."

Pilot looked at the human and asked as casually as his species was capable of, "Did Aeryn say anything...or give you anything...yesterday?"

"Apart from murderous looks, no. Why?"

Pilot was clearly confused. "No reason. She had mentioned something to me a couple of days ago, that's all."

"Pilot, what do you know?" John asked, leaning on the console.

"Er, nothing. Just that Aeryn was going to try to sort out her feelings for you."

John laughed derisively, "Well, I think she's getting pretty close to determining what she feels for me, and I might not live through it."

"You are afraid to speak to her?"

"You're frelling right I am. She was hurt yesterday, but this morning I think she's migrated to extreme anger. And back on Earth we had a saying 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. I wonder what Shakespeare would have had to say about a Sebacean?"

"Well, if you don't want to confront her in person, write her a letter." Pilot was starting to like this letter idea.

"No, I don't think..." John started, then stopped to think. "Yeah, Pilot, maybe I will. I could explain without her killing me, and maybe without me there, she would actually think about what I'm saying." John turned to leave the chamber. "Thanks, Pilot ,for the advice."

Pilot just watched him go, thinking how lucky he was to be joined with Moya.

*****

Back in his quarters, John struggled with his letter to Aeryn. He had decided to keep it short and simple, rather than try to explain the encounters with the other female crewmembers that Aeryn had witnessed and misconstrued. *Heck, I'm not even sure I understand what's going on. If I try to explain without figuring it out myself, I'll probably end up in deeper dren than I'm already in. I'll just be honest with her about what I feel, and hope that she will come around,* he resolved, and started to write.

My dearest love,

After our talks yesterday and this morning, I realised that I have misunderstood the depth of your feelings for me. And I haven't ever really told you how much you mean to me. There is something very special between us, and I want to hold on to that. I want to let it grow. I have never experienced anything close to what I feel for you. No one else has ever touched my soul as you have. No one! I know you think I have feelings for another, but  there is only you. Please let me talk to you, and explain.

John

John sat back and reread the letter. Satisfied, he folded it and then tried to figure out how to deliver it. Leaving his quarters, he went quietly down to Aeryn's room. He heard her moving around inside and quickly ducked out of sight. A DRD came darting down the corridor. John bent to stop it. He tucked the letter into the edge of the robot, then said quietly, "Take this to Aeryn." He watched the little yellow machine go over to Aeryn's quarters, open the door and go in. Satisfied with his little go-between, he backed quietly away from the chamber and went to take his turn at command duty.

Aeryn bent to retrieve the letter from the little DRD and followed it out the door of her quarters on her way to the cargo bay. On her way past Zhaan's room, she saw John's name at the bottom of the letter. Waves of hurt and confusion washed over her, then anger at the emotions he was able to arouse in her so easily. She threw the letter down unread, not noticing that it came to rest under Zhaan's door.

*****

Zhaan returned to her quarters for her morning meditation and found John's letter, lying discarded on the floor. She stepped into her room and began reading. As she read, her face registered her growing alarm. She checked the name again, then read it once more. She sat down heavily on the edge of her bed.*Oh, no. John,* she thought, distressed, *How could you think that was what I was talking about?* She remembered the kiss she had given him and his strange reaction to it and closed her eyes in concern. *Oh, no! He's so distressed by his conflicting emotions about Aeryn that he's transferring it to me. The Unity that we shared doesn't help.* She paced around the room for a time, then sat down at her table to write a reply, all thoughts of calming meditation gone from her mind.

Dearest John,

I am truly flattered by the feelings you expressed for me in your letter, but I am afraid that I am unable to return them as you would wish. Please do not let our past bond stop you from realising that Aeryn is the one you feel for, not me. I will help you to deal with your feelings for her. I understand well what it is like to love someone and believe that you are too different to ever be truly together. Sometimes you have to just be happy with little tokens of affection. As I told you before, be patient and everything will turn out alright. I know. I have been patient for a long time and feel that soon I, too, will be able to reveal my feelings.

Your true friend,
Zhaan

Satisfied with the letter, Zhaan left her quarters to deliver it as quickly as she could. She left the letter on the table beside John's bed, where he kept his little tape recorder. Feeling much calmer, she returned to her quarters to perform her meditation.

*****

Dominar Rygel the Sixteenth of the Hynerian Empire, floated down the corridor after returning from a rather unsatisfying lunch of foodcubes. "Imagine, the Dominar of over six billion subjects being reduced to eating foodcubes and traveling around in a pregnant Leviathan," he griped. "It's a disgrace!"

As he rounded the corner on his way back to his quarters for his afternoon nap, he caught sight of Zhaan leaving Crichton's quarters. His curiosity aroused, he waited until she was gone, then slipped into Crichton's quarters, using the same means of entry he had used so often to escape his Peacekeeper imprisonment. Inside the human's sparse room, he steered his thronesled over to the bed. He was about to "procure" Crichton's primitive recording device, when he saw the letter. He lifted the parchment in his hands and shamelessly read its contents.

He gasped in shock when he finished reading and nearly fell out of his thronesled. His mind raced back to the many times Zhaan had kissed him, touched him, teased him, even fondled his sensitive earbrows. "Good Lord, that crazy blue priestess is after me!" He refolded the letter, stuffed it into his robes and tore out of the room as if Parmolian Meat Hounds were on his tail.

*****

D'Argo approached the cargo bay with extreme trepidation. He heard the sounds of Aeryn's training routine from inside. His courage nearly failed him. *You have faced enemies in battle, against terrible odds,* he chastised himself. *And you felt no fear. You can easily face one misguided ex-Peacekeeper.* Squaring his shoulders, he entered the room.

Aeryn's face was flushed from her exertions. Her dark hair had come loose from its ties and curled around her cheeks and neck. She was dressed only in a brief top and black pants, her slender arms and waist bare. Despite his fear, D'Argo felt a moment of male admiration for her. *She certainly is attractive,* he thought. *I can see what draws Crichton to her.* He stood and watched her movements as she ran through her training routine. *And she is good.*

Taking a brief break, Aeryn caught sight of D'Argo. She smiled at him. D'Argo felt his blood run cold.

"Thank you, D'Argo. I really appreciate this." She moved closer to him. D'Argo took an involuntary step back. Her eyes ran over his body, speculatively. "I thought you might be dressed differently, but I guess you can take your coat off. And I don't intend to work around that Blade of yours." She smiled at him. As she reached up to help him remove the harness of his Qualta Blade, he flinched. She laughed. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I'm not ready to start yet anyway. And I haven't even told you what I want yet." D'Argo's eyes nearly popped out of his head at her words. He grabbed her hands as she tried again to remove the strap of his harness. She looked at him, her eyes questioning. "What's the matter?"

D'Argo stood holding her hands for a moment, then said, "Look, Aeryn, I don't think this is such a good idea."

She looked up at him, "Why not?" Her eyes searched his face for answers. She grinned suddenly. "You're worried that you will hurt me, aren't you?" At his hesitation, she added, "Well, don't worry. I told you before. I've taken on bigger than you. And I am still here."

"No, it's not that. Aeryn, I don't want to jeopardise our friendship," D'Argo said, diplomatically.

Aeryn laughed again. "Our friendship will be just fine." She tried to pull her hands out of his grasp but he would not let go. "D'Argo, let go."

"No, Aeryn. Tempted as I am this wouldn't be right."

Aeryn looked at him. "I thought I could count on you, D'Argo. You're the only other person on Moya who can recognise my needs." Disappointment clouded her eyes. "If you don't feel comfortable sparring with me, then I won't press the issue. But I had hoped you could teach me some Luxan moves, to challenge me more."

D?Argo dropped her hands and jumped back from her, as if she were on fire. "Sparring? Is that what you meant? You want me to be your sparring partner?"

"Of course, what did you think I....?" Aeryn looked at him with dawning realisation. "You thought I wanted to...to...? How the frell did you ever think that?" she cried.

"Well, you kept talking about needs and..and stimulation and..." D'Argo stammered. He looked up to see Aeryn's face filled with fury.  "And your let..."

Aeryn exploded. "What the frell is wrong with you males? Are you all kinkoid? First Crichton, and now you!"  She paced back and forth in front of the thoroughly embarrassed Luxan.

"Aeryn, I'm sorry, I..."

The infuriated Sebacean turned and held up her to hand to silence his apology. "Please, D'Argo, don't say another word. Stay away from me." She turned on her heel and walked out, right into Crichton, who chose that moment to enter. "Males!" she hissed at him. "You should all be shot out an airlock." She pushed roughly past him and out of the cargo bay.

Crichton stood in the doorway, his face a study of confusion. He looked at D'Argo, who would not meet his eye, then after the departing Aeryn, then back to D'Argo. Suspicion quickly replaced his confusion. "What is going on here, D'Argo? What did you say to Aeryn."

"Drop it," D?Argo said. "It was all a misunderstanding."

"A  misunderstanding? Drop it? I will not...What did you do to her?" Crichton started to raise his voice.

Suddenly at the end of his patience, D'Argo growled. "I said drop it, Human and I mean it." He stomped out of the room. Crichton stood for a moment longer, seething, then turned and left.

*****

John entered the centre chamber and threw himself down at one of the tables. He didn't really know why he had come here; he wasn't the least bit hungry. His earlier anger at D'Argo had been replaced by a bitter sense of betrayal. *How could he?* he thought. *The moment Aeryn and I have a disagreement, he moves right in on her.* He got up and poured himself a glass of water and sat down again. *Some friend,* he thought. He suddenly pitched the glass of water across the room. "Man, I could sure use something a lot stronger than water right now."

"You can say that again." Rygel's voice was dark with emotion as he floated into the room.

"You wouldn't happen to have anything left over from our last stop at a commerce planet, would ya, Guido?"

"No, unfortunately." Rygel retrieved some foodcubes and began munching on them, muttering to himself between bites.

"What's that, Sparky? Did you say something?" John asked, as he sat slumped dejectedly in his seat.

"I said, no matter where you go in the universe, females are still crazy."

"Amen to that," John agreed heartily, "Amen to that."

"What's amen?" Chiana asked as she came into the room. "Well, hello there, Crichton, I've been looking all over for you." She immediately slipped her arm around his waist and pressed herself against him.

"Knock it off, Chiana." John growled at her, "I'm not in the mood." When she did not release him, he roughly extricated himself from her arms and said, "I'm really not in the mood." Chiana sat back away from him and looked hurt.

"Not in the mood for what?" Zhaan asked, then stopped at the sight of John, forlornly slumped in his seat. "Oh, hello, John. Are you alright?"

John's answer was drowned out by Rygel's sudden outburst. "Get away from me, you crazy, blue Delvian! Get away from me!" He floated his thronesled out of her reach. "I'm warning you, if you try anymore of your kinkoid tricks on me I'll..."

Zhaan reacted to his words with shock, "What are you talking about, Rygel? What tricks?"

"Oh you know, you devious Delvian, all your touching and kissing and little 'tokens of affection.' You just stop it now!" He worked himself up into a rage. "I wouldn't put some sort of Delvian mind control past you, you...you..."

Zhaan's anger matched his, "I have no idea what you're talking about. I haven't..." Suddenly, one of his phrases dawned on her as familiar. "Little tokens of affection? Where did you...?" Understanding lit up her face. "Rygel! You read my letter! You read my letter to John, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did! And it's a good thing too! Now I see what's going on inside that bald blue head of yours."

John looked from one to the other in confusion. "What letter? Zhaan, what's going on here?"

"Didn't you even get my letter?" Zhaan turned once more, accusing Rygel. "You thief! You stole that letter from John's room, didn't you? Give it back to me!"

Harrumphing, Rygel had the grace to look guilty. He passed the letter to Zhaan and quickly zipped back out of reach.

John looked at the letter, questioningly. "You wrote me a letter, Zhaan? Why?"

She passed it to him, "Here, John, just read it."

John quickly scanned the letter from Zhaan. He turned startled eyes to Zhaan, who met his gaze calmly. "What letter did I write to you, Zhaan? I never wrote any letter to anyone, other than Aeryn."

Chiana suddenly piped up, "Wait a minute! What about the letter you wrote to me?"

"To you?" John was flabbergasted, then a thought dawned on him. "Let me see your letter. And yours, Zhaan."

Each of them produced the letters they had received over the last two days. John read them both and groaned. He passed Chiana's back to her. "I never wrote this to you, Chiana. I don't know who did." He turned to Zhaan, "And, Zhaan, I'm sorry, but this letter was for Aeryn, not you."

Zhaan looked relieved. "Thank the Goddess. I thought you were ... falling , as you call it, for me."

Chiana was not satisfied. "Well, if you didn't write this frelling letter, then who did?"

D'Argo came in at that moment, saw John standing there and made as if to leave. John called out, ?D'Argo, wait. I think we have a very big misunderstanding here. Is this your letter to Aeryn? The one I advised you to write."

D?Argo took the letter from Chiana and quickly scanned it. "It is." He started to get angry. "How did you get it? Did you steal it?"

Chiana bristled at his accusation, "I did not steal it. Crichton gave it to me. Right here at this table."

At D'Argo's angry glare, John quickly held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "I didn't steal it. I found it. Lying in the corridor after a DRD drop..." He started to laugh. "Oh, man. What a mess!" He started to laugh even harder, rolling off his chair and onto the floor, while the others looked on stunned. "I'm sorry, but it's like some dreadful bedroom farce. 'A Letter to Three Aliens' starring John Crichton," he guffawed.  Suddenly another thought struck him. *Oh man, Aeryn* His eyes met D'Argo's and they both came to the same horrible conclusion. "You thought she was after you because of ..."

"... a letter." D'Argo finished for him.

John immediately called out, "Pilot! PILOT!"

Pilot's image appeared on the communication screen. "Yes, Commander Crichton?"

"Pilot, after our little discussion of Valentine's Day, did you advise Aeryn to write me a letter?" John asked.

"Why yes, I did. Did you get it? She wasn't going to send it to you, but Moya and I thought it might help improve things between you?" John started to smile. "Was I right to send it to you without her knowledge?"

"Well, Pilot, back on Earth, letters are considered private," Pilot's face dropped in shame, "But I really appreciate what you were trying to do. And I know Aeryn will be happy that you tried to play Cupid. Where is she?"

Pilot's expression brightened. "On the terrace."

John took off for the terrace without a backward glance. Behind him he heard Zhaan's voice ask, "Pilot, please explain what Crichton meant by playing Cupid."

He grinned and thought, *Come on,  armed, naked, flying guy, I think I'm going to need your help.* And hastily made a detour to his quarters.

*****

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