by Corde
The first part of this is really part of my life. I’m
skipping two years of high school, getting my GED, and
going to college as a 17 year old. I was in class
today, minding my own business, not paying attention,
and Aeryn started to talk to me. I have to be in the
frelling class for a total of 12 hours, which doesn’t
seem like much but is forever when it’s 3 hours at a
time. I have had to take three tests just to qualify
for the GED test, and I haven’t missed an answer yet.
I’m working on the final test (the pre-GED, as opposed
to the pre-pre-GED, or the GED assessment test), and
then I will be able to get the actual diploma.
Everything after Chapter 1 is pure silliness. Oh yeah,
and I know nothing about ballet, so if I got it wrong,
I’m sorry.
*****
Chapter 1
Corde sighed and put a few more pencil marks on her
much-doodled page. The decision to take a year off and
home school had been the best one of her life, but she
really hated the GED class she had to take. She was so
ready for college, now if she would only get accepted…
she sighed again and kept scribbling her little
picture of Xena and Gabrielle stick figures. They had
speech balloons with bad grammar. Just like the rest
of this class…
“Corde,” said Aeryn, “stop mocking the GED class. Pay
attention. You might learn something.”
“That is so wrong in so many ways,” Corde disagreed.
“I probably won’t learn anything I didn’t already
know. If I do, it will have been an accident on their
part. See? That verb tense I just used? They didn’t
know how to use it. Future Perfect. I knew it in
English before I was ten, learned it in Latin two
years ago.”
“But this class is important for these people,” Aeryn
advised. “They’re really trying to learn.”
“Yes, I know,” said Corde, “and more power to ‘em. But
I hate being here. It’s BORING!”
“Good practice for life,” said Aeryn. “You won’t
always be surrounded by people as smart as you. I
should know,” she added, rolling her eyes at Crichton,
who had just hit himself in the head with his homemade
paddleball.
“Ava save me from being stuck with someone like HIM.
How’d he ever get to be a scientist, anyway?”
“Idiot savant,” explained Aeryn. “With less savant and
more idiot.”
“Ah,” said Corde. They examined him in silence for a
time with intently critical stares.
“He sure is cute though.”
“Gods, yes.” They watched him some more.
Finally, Corde turned away. “I only have to sit
through two more classes after today,” she said. “Then
I can take the dratted GED test and be done with it.”
“Keep telling yourself that,” said Aeryn, never taking
her eyes off Crichton.
Chapter 3
“What happened to Chapter 2?” wondered D’Argo.
“I don’t know. Does anyone really care?” Corde asked
the fic at large. No one said anything.
Chapter 2
“Ah, there it is,” said Aula Naevia. “Hey, why does
the spellchecker know ‘Aula’ and not ‘Naevia’?”
“Beats me,” said Corde.
Chapter 4
“Chapters are getting shorter these days,” said
Crichton. “In my day, we had to walk twenty miles in
the snow in each chapter. Uphill both ways. With no
shoes, no socks, and no feet.”
“Crichton, you idiot. Stop talking. Now.”
“Who said that?” asked Corde.
“Uh oh. When the author doesn’t know who’s speaking,
does that mean we have a problem?” asked Chia Pet.
“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”
“Well, I guess I just didn’t decide. It could have
been anyone. Even Jaimie,” said Corde, right as Jaimie
and Tinka walked up.
“Hey goober,” Jaimie said to everyone in the fic.
“What’s up?” Tinka put her hands on her ears and
closed her eyes.
“Hey James. Did you just tell Crichton to shut up?”
“I sure did,” said Jaimie. “He was pissing me off. He
sure is cute though.”
“Yeah,” said Aeryn, who was fixated on his biceps for
some strange reason.
“Uh, Aeryn? You feeling okay?” asked Corde.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” said Aeryn, looking up. “I was
fixated on his biceps for a minute there, but I’m okay
now.”
As Crichton tried to figure out whether that was a
compliment or an insult, Aeryn and Corde wrapped
yellow plastic CAUTION tape around Jaimie’s car.
Jaimie acted indignant. “Corde, that’s the second time
this week!”
“I know,” giggled Corde, “but I didn’t tell the list
about it the first time. I thought they might be
amused.”
“So I get a gift-wrapped car for the amusement of the
‘shippers? I see how it is. You like them better than
you like me.” Jaimie pretended to pout.
“Yep,” Corde agreed cheerfully. “They don’t make me
sit in the back seat.”
Jaimie grinned. “Love you, babe. Gotta go, Steve just
paged me.”
“Love you. And you, TINKA,” Corde yelled so Tinka
could hear. Tinka nodded and grinned, but didn’t open
her eyes or uncover her ears. The girls wandered out.
“Hmm, people seem to do a lot of wandering in your
fic, Corde,” remarked Chia Pet.
“Yes they do. It’s my preferred mode of
transportation,” said Corde.
D’Argo waltzed into the room, wearing a purple tutu.
Music swelled in the background. He executed three
plies, a neat pirouette, and stood pointe. He grinned
hugely and shouted, “I’m DANCING!” before leaping off
in a series of grande jetes.
“I did not need to see that,” Aeryn stated blandly.
Corde was trying valiantly to hold in a giggle. Her
stomach started to hurt.
THE END
You can see Ka D’Argo as the Sugarplum Fairy in “The
Nutcracker” every Sunday afternoon at 4:30 through
2005.
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