by Natalie Williams
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Farscape. It belongs to a lot of people who are not me. I mean no harm, I come in peace.
RATING: G.
SPOILERS: The Flax, PK Tech Girl
ARCHIVING: My site, and if Jill Dannay, Dani Royer, Laura Folden (I’ll send it to you) or April at the Farscape Zone want it, it’s yours. Everyone else
must ask.
SUMMARY: Aeryn’s thoughts after being rescued from the Flax.
*****
She was avoiding him. She had secluded herself in her quarters, trying so hard to figure out a way to not to think about what had happened. Or maybe she could think it all out, get things straight. And to do that, she was going to avoid Crichton at all costs. At least for now. Of course, if he asked her if she was avoiding him, she would deny it. Not that he seemed too intent on finding her. He was probably avoiding her right back.
What the frell what she thinking?
This was John. Crichton. The one person in the universe that could both annoyed her and intrigue her at the same time. The person she wished she could understand better, even if she didn’t know why. The person she had kissed, who had kissed her back. And if D’Argo hadn’t interrupted...
So what would have happened if he hadn’t shown up at that second? No, she knew the answer to that one. And the truth was, a part of her- a surprisingly large part- would have rathered that scenario. If they had died aboard the transport, she wouldn’t be arguing with herself right now.
Aeryn sighed to herself, rolling her neck around to stretch the muscles. She was getting a headache. Great. But there was nothing she could really do about it. As long as she kept thinking about this, the headache was going to linger. And she couldn’t not think about this.
She had not been at all thrilled to see D’Argo, and... come to think of it, neither had Crichton. So... Was it possible that whatever she was feeling for him was mutual?
No. She wasn’t going to think that. She had gotten over him, hadn’t she? At least until Gilina came along. Then everything had just bubbled back up to the surface. She had tried to quell those feelings, and she thought she had.
Yet when put in a life or death situation, they started ripping each other’s clothes off.
What had come over her? She had been the one to initiate the kiss, and to... Why did she do that? It was completely unlike her. She had never reacted like that before. No, it was him. It was Crichton. Once again, Aeryn found herself sighing, as if trying to get rid of some of this tension and frustration by breathing it out. Well that one certainly wasn’t working.
She wished she could ignore these feelings. If she could ignore them, she wouldn’t have resorted to confining herself to one room to think it all out of her system. Or at the very least, she wished she could hate him for making her feel this way. But that wasn’t going to happen. She couldn’t hate him. No matter what stupid thing he did, or whatever aggravating comment he
made, she couldn’t hate him.
She also couldn’t face him. Not yet. She was embarrassed at having acted that way. And she hated to admit it, but she was scared to see him. The worst thing she could imagine after something like this was to be rejected.
So then what did she want? She knew this couldn’t go anywhere. They weren’t even the same species. He was intent on going home. He was the one that had gotten her into this whole mess in the first place! The simple face was, they were just too different. It could never... It could never happen.
Then why did she want it to?
Aeryn groaned, standing from her seated position on her bed, where she had been for at least a couple arns now. She had to get out of here, had to do something. She hated thinking about this so much- it was time to get her mind off of all this finally. Stop on the bridge for a while, perhaps. Maybe she could avoid him for a little while longer, but she was going to avoid him somewhere else.
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