One last Wish: Chapter 16
One last Wish: Chapter 16
(The Next Day)
48 hours.
48 hours of suffering and heartache had passed. It was the hardest 48 hours for everyone. Mainly Justin. Hope, by now, had come to accept her fate and sadly her parents also. But Justin hadn’t done the same, yet. He couldn’t, and pretty much wouldn’t accept it.
Hope’s health was slowly deteriorating right in front of Justin’s eyes and nothing could keep him from being at her side every moment. His mother, Lynn, had come to visit and try to get Justin to eat some lunch, but he wouldn’t budge. He wouldn’t leave Hope. Not when she could die any moment.
Hope slightly turned her head towards Justin as he sleepily hung his head on the side railing of her hospital bed and whispered, “Justin you don’t have to stay with here if you have somewhere to go.”
It was a loving gesture having Justin at her side 24/7, but she was worried about him. Through all that she was facing at the moment, Hope couldn't help but worry about her parents and of Justin.
Justin gently lifted his head up and rested his chin on his hands and looked up at her. She was such an amazing person. One that he didn’t want to let go of. “I don’t care if I have to go somewhere. I refuse to leave you.”
Leigh came up to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and spoke, “it’s alright Justin. Robert and I are here with her.”
Hope tried to give a small smile but she found THAT to be a difficult thing. But she refused to let everyone worry about her. Justin shook his head slowly and once again refused to leave her side.
Silence fell.
At first it was only for a second. Then a nurse or doctor or SOMETHING would make noise somewhere in the hospital that would ruin the silence. But seconds soon turned into minutes, which in turn became hours.
Luckily the silence that had befallen upon the room was interrupted when Shannon and her mother came to visit Hope. Shannon was insistent that she have time alone with Hope, so everyone agreed. Just before Shannon walked into Hope’s hospital room, he nicely took her aside and talked to her himself.
“Hey Shannon, remember what we talked about back at Hope’s house?” Justin asked crouching down to meet her eyes.
Shannon happily nodded her head and Justin continued on, “well, let’s keep what we said between the two of us. We won’t tell anyone. Especially Hope. Okay?”
Shannon agreed and Justin ushered her into Hope’s room. The last thing he wanted to deal with was getting Hope worked up about her feeling towards him and his feelings towards her.
Hope weakly helped Shannon onto her bed and the two began to chat. At first it was regular childish school chit-chat. But Hope soon brought up the issue about her and Justin’s feelings for each other. Unknowingly, both Justin and Hope were telling the same girl to keep her mouth shut about the exact same issue.
Shannon wasn’t oblivious to it all. She knew exactly what was going on. In fact, she knew more than Justin and Hope knew about the whole situation. But she knew that it was the only right thing to do in not telling either about each other.
“So Shannon, you know what not to say right?” Hope asked pausing several times to breathe. Breathing had also become a tiresome challenge.
Shannon nodded her head in agreement. Her smile was so comforting, yet so depressing to Hope. She wanted so badly to give everyone a huge bright smile to calm their worries, but she just couldn’t pull it off. It was too much of a challenge. Just one of many she was currently enduring.
Hope pulled Shannon close to her and stroked her hair gently. It was a picture-perfect moment. One of a very few that would be coming in the next few hours.
Justin smiled as he watched Hope and Shannon talk. It was indeed a very heartfelt moment. But Justin still hadn’t stop worrying about the future. He just wouldn’t except what was coming.
Justin walked a bit down the hallway and was startled when he heard his cell phone ring. He immediately thought of any possible reason as to why he was being called and right away he remembered that he had to be at a taping of the Rosie O’Donnell Show. He hesitantly answered the phone, “hello?”
“Hey Justin, where are you? We’re all waiting for you at the studio.” JC said replying.
Justin let his gaze look up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was leave Hope. Justin let out a sigh and answered, “I’m here in at the hospital with Hope.”
“Look J, I understand how important it is that you be with Hope right now, but if you don’t get over to the studio soon Rosie’s director is going to have a heart attack. And we both know that wouldn’t be good publicity.” JC tried being humorous to liven up the conversation.
As much as Justin wanted to skip the taping, he knew he couldn’t miss it. He waited a moment before telling JC that he would get to the taping as soon as he could. Justin slowly walked over to Hope’s hospital room and slowly opened the door. Shannon had already left with her mom by that time and Hope was lay in the bed barely conscious. Once she noticed Justin walk in she gave him the brightest smile she ever could. Justin smiled back, but his smile soon faded.
Hope could feel herself tense up when she noticed Justin expression change. She practically whispered to him, “something’s wrong Timberlake. What’s wrong?”
Justin knew he couldn’t leave his band mates hanging, yet he couldn’t leave Hope knowing that him saying good-bye might be their last. And that was something he was NOT prepared to deal with.
Justin took a deep breath and replied, “Hope, you know that I would never leave you during well…this time…I guess you can say,” Justin stuttered trying to find the right words to say, “and I would never leave if I could avoid leaving, but I need to be at the Rosie O’Donnell show as soon as possible. So I hope you understand that I really wish that I could stay with you, but I promise that I will get back here as soon as I can. I promise.”
By now, Justin had been clutching onto Hope’s hand and gently stroking it with his fingers. Hope had definitely felt so special and her heart felt so light that Justin didn’t want to be anywhere else but at her side. She knew that she didn’t have much longer and as much as she would’ve loved to have Justin with her through her last moments, she knew she couldn’t hold him back from his life; reality.
Hope, once again trying even harder than before to breathe on her own, spoke at a very low and quiet whisper, “Justin, it’s alright. I understand you have to go. Take your time, don’t worry about me.”
It took a lot of courage and strength for Hope to say that, but she knew it had to be said. She needed to comfort Justin about her future somehow. Sounding hopeless wouldn’t help at all, actually, it wouldn’t only worsen Justin’s emotions.
Justin slowly and gently lifted her hand up to his lips and placed a soft and sweet kiss on it. He smiled as big a smile he could and nodded in agreement. He bent down and gave her a huge hug. He never wanted to let go of her, never. Once he finally let go of her, he ran his fingers gently down the side of her cheek as both of them tried to savor the moment. Hope put herself back together and talked, “Justin, I don’t want you to worry about me. No matter what happens, I will always be with you. Always.”
Justin lightly nodded his head trying to hold back the tears that began to form themselves out of the corners of his eyes. He turned his head for a moment to look out the window of her hospital room and noticed rain begin to fall from the dark and cloudy Florida afternoon skies. It scared him because he took it as a sign, a sign of bad fortune coming, but he knew, there was nothing he could do now to stop it from happening. He looked back down at Hope who was almost in a light slumber. He kneeled down beside her bed and came eye level with her and whispered, “I know this seems like I’m asking to much, but will you promise me you’ll try your best to wait for me?”
Hope turned her head to look at him and took a short and labored breath, “I promise.”
Hope slowly fell asleep and Justin finally let go of her hand. With one last time before she fell asleep, Hope barely mouthed, “I promise.”
It was very obvious to not only to the rest of the guys and show employees that Justin seemed very nervous and a bit edgy. He wanted out of that studio so quickly and he had just gotten there. Everyone tried to be nice and act normal whenever they asked if he was alright, but he either brushed them off or told them go away. He was definitely acting like himself and Lance knew EXACTLY why.
Lance casually approached Justin where he was sitting looking uncomfortable and took the seat next to him. At first Justin ignored Lance and acted as if he wasn’t there, but when he became aware that Lance wasn’t going to give up so easily he finally asked him what he wanted.
“Justin I know that this little attitude of yours has something to do with Hope, so would you care to tell me about it or make us and especially yourself look like a complete obnoxious person during this show?” Lance asked being surprisingly blunt.
Justin gave him a stare that seemed to not rattle Lance at all. Justin didn’t feel like getting into his situation with Hope to anyone, even being as easy it was to talk to Lance. It was just too hard of a subject to talk about, nonetheless even think about it was a battle.
Justin finally decided that there was no escaping it so he finally told Lance EVERYTHING. Every emotion, every feeling of worry, despair, hopelessness, anxiety…it was all unleashed. And to be quite honest, it felt good to Justin to finally let it out. He needed to have some form of release and find a moment of sanctuary where he could regain his sanity. It seemed like a lot to Justin, but not to Lance. He knew that deep down Justin was just overwhelmed. And it felt good for Justin to be able to confide in him about everything.
After talking for quite a bit, the taping began and Justin had really loosened up. It was not to say that Justin had completely blocked out his situation with Hope, but more like he had finally given himself a rest and a break from the stress it put on him. But the most compelling moment of Justin’s entire release, was that he had finally come to face the truth and accept reality and life for what it was. He knew what was going to happen to Hope. It was only a matter of time until he learned to accept it and just be there for her instead of stressing himself trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed.
Hope had been lying down in her hospital bed and going through old momenttoes that her parents had brought by to keep her busy. The thing she had the most fun and interest in was looking through her photo album. A photo album that contained picture of her from infant to her recent years. As she flipped through each page, each picture brought back a certain memory. Memories she had almost forgotten she had. But it was worth it to remember them at even such a sad and horrible time because she didn’t want to leave this earth knowing that she didn’t relive a bit of her past. She came upon a couple photos of her and Justin and one in particular reminded her of a certain song she loved. It was a picture of Hope and Justin at the restaurant the night that hey had danced together to “Because you Loved Me.” Funny how a song like that seem to hit so close to home for her. Hope put away the box of photos and other things on her bedside table and relaxed in her bed. She hummed to the tune of the song at first, then started to barely sing the words:
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For every wrong that you made right
For ever dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever grateful
You’re the one that helped me up
You’re the one who saw me through
Through it all
With every breath she took, with every lyric she sang, her eyes closed further and her voice became softer until the point there was complete and utter silence. Hope had now slipped into a coma. Silence enveloped the room as Hope peacefully fell into a deep slumber.
Complete Silence.
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