One last Wish: Chapter 15
One last Wish: Chapter 15
(The Next Day)
Justin gently stroked Hope’s limp hand and wished with everything in him that she would somehow respond to him. She lay in the hospital bed looking so peaceful and serene; however, everyone knew that the light was going to soon go out for Hope. Justin was mainly in denial. He couldn’t, and most of all DIDN’T accept that Hope didn’t have a very long time left.
Justin held onto her hand and gently spoke to her, “C’mon Sunshine, I need you to wake up. Please.”
The nurse came into the room and signaled that it was Hope’s regular check-up and that Justin needed to leave the room. Justin gave Hope a short but sweet kiss on the forehead and whispered in her ear, “I’ll be right back, you stay strong.”
Justin kissed her hand also and started out towards the hallway. He was halfway out the door when he heard Hope’s extremely faint voice call out his name. His ears might have missed it, but his heart skipped a beat when he heard it. The yearning in her voice was so evident that it was almost as if she had screamed it instead of saying it so miniscule. Justin raced back to her side and became excited as her eyelids flickered for a bit then finally her eyes looked upon him. They looked so weak yet so bright and happy to see him.
Hope herself was completely clueless and not to mention overly exhausted and pained when she woke up. Although it was refreshing and rather pleasant to wake up to Justin’s ocean blue eyes, Hope was unfocused and definitely out of it. Pain radiated all over her body and exhaustion was yet another key factor in her trouble to ‘be strong.’
“Hey, I knew you wouldn’t be out for long,” Justin paused as he fought hard not to get emotional yet again, “how are you feeling.”
Hope blinked a couple more times before she finally spoke, “where am I? What happened?” Hope asked quite tiredly and kept her voice to below a whisper.
The nurse leaned over and gently said, “Miss Evans, you really shouldn’t be talking. You’ve just had a tube to help you breathe and I don’t think you’ll want to use so much oxygen left in your lungs and exasperate yourself.”
Hope let out a very small sigh and slowly nodded. Justin gave her a small smile and was about to speak until her parents walked in the room. Her parents were extremely overjoyed and a bit relieved.
Hope wasn’t fully well, not even by a long shot, but to everyone around her, her waking up was a gift from god. The doctor came in and smiled brightly, yet there wasn’t enough gleam and confidence behind her expression to ease any of their worries. Most of all, Hope’s.
The doctor walked in and quickly examined Hope. Dr. Greenberg looked over at Hope’s parents and then turned back and smiled at Hope. “so how are you feeling Hope?”
“Tired for the most part. But also uneasy from that look you just gave my parents. So what’s up with me?” Hope asked rather assertively.
Dr. Greenberg calmly answered, “Hope, I’d like to speak to your parents first, but I will not make any final decisions without consulting you first. So why don’t you just rest for a moment while I talk to your parents. That sound good?”
Hope knew that she couldn’t win and that she wasn’t strong enough to argue so she slowly nodded in approval and watched as her parents walked out with the doctor. Hope closed her eyes and gently spoke to Justin, “I’m afraid Justin.”
Silence.
Justin was so taken aback by Hope’s statement that it filled the room with tension. Hope hadn’t been as blunt like this before and especially with this topic. Justin took her hand in his and kindly replied, “it’s alright. I’m here, you don’t have to be afraid.”
It was a small but heart-wrenching gesture on Justin’s part. Especially since he hadn’t known what exactly to say to Hope. He just wanted to be there for her, and with her.
There was an awfully horrifying and reminding resemblance as Dr. Greenberg calmly spoke to Hope’s parents. It reminded both Leigh and Robert of when they were first told of her cancer just a couple months back. This time it was only a more intense, scary, and utterly nervous moment in time. Dr. Green berg finally spoke up once she got Hope’s parents far enough from Hope’s hospital room window. The last thing Hope needed was to watch her parents breakdown in front of her, not knowing what would be said.
Dr. Greenberg signaled for Hope’s parents to take a seat and finally began, “although Hope has regained consciousness, it does not mean that she is out of the woods. Ultimately, her cancer has spread over 75% of her body in the course of the two months that she was first diagnosed. I will be completely honest with you right now Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Your daughter may not survive the night. If she does, then I can, sadly at this point, guarantee that she will not last longer than a week at the max. I will be talking to Hope about this and but I thought it would be wise to inform you first of what your options are. Since the cancer is quickly spreading, the reason for Hope’s exhaustion and I’m sure the pain she is in is due to the gradual shut down of her bodies vital organs. One by one, her organs will automatically shutdown and there is no way to stop it at this point.” Dr. Greenberg paused a moment to let Hope’s parents take in everything she had just said. She once again continued, “since that is the most probable outcome, I am asking you if you want to sign a do not resuscitate order. Meaning if Hope’s body begins to shutdown, she goes into cardiac arrest, she stops breathing so forth, that you DO NOT want us to go to extreme measures to revive her. Do you think that is what you want to do?”
Hope’s parents sat dumbfounded and in shock. They honestly didn’t know how to react. It was all coming to them so fast and so much at a time. Leigh looked over to her husband and forced the tears in her eyes to not fall. They looked at each other and took a deep breath. Leigh, finally realizing the true nature of the situation and finally accepting the future outcome slowly spoke, “we…both of us…believe…that is what we want to do. But…Hope…we want to make….to make…make sure….that she agrees with it first.”
It was hard to accept the reality of everything. But somehow, deep down in Leigh’s heart, she knew that as much as she wanted to do something, there was nothing she could possibly do but be with her daughter in her final days….if Hope had days left.
“Alright, let’s go talk to Hope.” Dr. Greenberg replied.
Hope could feel every bone in her body tense up as her parents and Dr. Greenberg came back inside her room. Justin held onto her hand tightly and waited along with her.
Dr. Greenberg began explaining what she had just told Hope’s parents and when she finished, she waited patiently to hear Hope’s response. Justin sat on the side of Hope’s bed and looked at his hands the whole time. It all seemed so surreal to him, like none of it was really happening. All eyes were on Hope. She herself knew what her answer was, but her only problem was how to word what she wanted to say.
Hope let a single tear slip her eyes and took a deep breath before finally answering, “I have had seventeen years of as normal a life as anyone could possibly have. However, with everything that’s happen to me in the past two months, I learned to accept things as they were and just accept reality and fate. Dr. Greenberg, if my body begins to shutdown as you say it will…I guess…I…don’t want…you to try to save me. I just want nature to take its course. I’ve accepted my fate, and if…when…I…well…die, I can’t stop that. “
By now, Hope’s parents were in tears, Justin was clinging onto Hope’s hand as if there was no tomorrow, even Dr. Greenberg was moved by Hope’s statement. It was true, in the short time that Hope got to really mature and live life to its fullest, Hope learned a lifetime’s worth of knowledge and lessons. As much as she didn’t want to abandon those she loved, she knew she had no other choice than to just…LIVE.
After everyone had left the two alone and papers were signed, Justin stood sulking at the foot of Hope’s bed. He himself hadn’t accepted the truth yet, although deep down he knew he couldn’t escape fate. He just didn’t want to say goodbye.
Hope, as pained and tired as she was…tried her best to hide it from Justin and everyone else. Hope gestured to Justin to come near her. Once he made his way to her side of the bed, Hope gently lay on her hand on top of Justin. She quietly began, “Justin, when I’m…gone, I want you to move on. In the two months that we have gotten close, you have touched me and ultimately help me get through all this. You should always know that you will never…NEVER…NEVER EVER…be without me. When you take a step, breathe in, cry, smile, whatever…I will be there with you. Even if I have to risk heaven to watch over you. And I will wait until the day we see each other again, even if it will be an eternity.”
Justin felt his heart break with each word she spoke. He wiped away his tears and spoke, “I don’t want to lose you. Not now. It’s too soon.”
Hope kept her composure and tried her best to stay strong for him, “I know…I know. I wish there was more time. But we will always have memories. Look deep down inside your heart Justin, every time you feel alone…I’ll be here,” Hope gently put her hand over his heart and continued, “in your heart. Cause you’ve always been in mine.”
Justin broke down and cried freely. He didn’t care about being macho anymore. He bent down and gave Hope as big a hug as he ever could and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead, “you will always be in my heart Hope. ALWAYS. I know you will be my guardian angel, you have been since the day I met you. You mean the world to me. You mean more to me than I think you’ll ever know.”
What was so odd was that Hope really did mean more to Justin than she would EVER know.
[Chapter 16]
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