One last Wish: [Chapter 10]
Hope was awaken by the pounding rain as it loudly pitter pattered on her window. The morning was icy and the cold breeze that creeped into her room through the slightly opened window would have frozen anyone.
She opened her eyes wide to ward the sleep out of her eyes. She coudln't exactly remember how she'd gotten in her bed, but something was weird because she was in her bed still in the clothes she had been wearing the night before. She recalled meeting Justin at the mall so that they could resolve their problem. She then remembered fooling around with him at the mall arcade and then falling asleep in his car as he was driving her home. How she got to her bed still dressed up, she didn't know. But she knew that it had SOMETHING to do with the "curly haired wonder."
Hope smiled childishly as she thought of Justin. She looked up at the same poster she had of him on her ceiling for two years now. His ocean blue eyes looked upon her like they had every time she would lay on her bed. But this time, the eyes she was looking into had a more special effect on her. They seemed to be more familiar, more caring, more like...Justin. The Justin she knew. Not just THE Justin Timberlake she saw on TV or in the magazines, but the REAL Justin Timberlake. The one who wore a silly get up just so no one would notice him, the one one who wouldn't leave a game defeated, the one who opened his world to her, just so that he could get her to trust him. She saw the man behind the music. The one she was the most fond of.
Hope slowly crawled out of bed as she couldn't help but let her back slouch over. She was starting to feel more pain in her back nowadays. But she had been repeatedly told that it was just a minor result of the large amounts of meds and chemotherapy that she was currently receiving. She took her Victorian brush into her frail hands and stroked her hair gently and evenly. But it was a depressing task as more and more hair would come out with the brush each day. But as Hope sadly brushed her hair, she noticed an unfamiliar object out of the corner of her eye. At first she didn't pay much attention to it, but then she became curious as she walked closer to it while it sat on the floor of her bedroom. Hope began to squint as she looked down at what seemed to be a couple of snapshots. She bent down and crouched to pick up the pictures and note next to it. The writing on the note wasn't very familiar, but it was somewhat. She put the pictures behind the note as she read the note to herself:
Hope,
I hated to wake you up, so I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of bringing you to bed. I left you some pictures that we took in that picture booth at the mall arcade. You can go ahead and keep them. Well, good night and don't forget to call me after you get this.
Love always,
Justin
A smile crossed Hope's face as she let her fingers gently touch his signature. She put the note in her other hand and looked at the pictures she and Justin had taken the night before. They had been acting silly and that's how the pictures turned out to be.
Flashback
"C'mon Hope, it'll be fun!" Justin said pulling on her arm.
Hope tried to escape Justin's grasp, but he was way to strong for her. Even too strong for his own good. "Justin no! I look like a piece of crap!" She whined.
"No you don't, so come on. PLLLEEEEAAASSSEEEE?" Justin said turning to her and giving the saddest look as he begged her. Once he noticed that she was struggling to resist him, he dropped to his knees and continued to give her a sad puppy dog look, "PLEEAAASSSEEE???"
Hope tried not let her gaze fall upon him for too long, but she couldn't help herself. She finally relaxed her arm and gave in, "okay fine! Now get off the floor, you're making a scene!"
Justin jumped up and down and pulled her into the booth. Justin inserted the money and he got both of them in front of the camera. The funny thing about the pictures was that Justin kept doing stupid little poses and Hope would be laughing right when the picture would be taken.
End of Flashback
Hope's smile quickly disappeared when she heard yelling come from downstairs. Hope dropped the pictures and note on the ground and rushed downstairs to see what the commotion was all about. Sure enough it was none other than her parents. Lately they had been arguing when they thought that Hope wasn't listening, but she was.
Hope kept her back against the wall of the back kitchen entrance as she stood silent and listened to what her parents were arguing about this time.
"Leigh, she's the one with the cancer, I think that she should be the one to decide what she wants to do." Hope heard her father calmly tell her mother.
"NO! Listen to me Robert, your daughter is getting worse everyday. What if she decided not to do this, then what? You wouldn't mind watching your daughter die painfully? I'm sorry but I'm her mother, and I say that I have the right to decide for her. She's is getting it alright!" Leigh said as her voice became louder with every word.
Hope came out from behind the back of the kitchen and stood behind her mother, "what are you deciding for me mom?"
Leigh's eyes widened when she heard Hope's voice behind her. Leigh slowly turned to face her daughter and hung her head low. Leigh took a deep breath and began, "Hope sweetheart, your doctor explained to me and your father that you may have some options that could possibly put your cancer in remission."
"Possibly?"
Hope's father stood up and walked over to his daughter, "Hope, the doctor explained to us that there is a new experimental drug that researchers need volunteers to test out. At where you are with your cancer at this point, you qualify for the test."
Hope became suspicious once she finally gave her brain time to process what she had just been told. Something wasn't adding up and she knew that there was something niether of her parents were telling her. "What's the catch?"
Hope's father looked her straight in the eye and answered, "before you take this experimental, there is an invasive surgery that come first. They said something about removing the largest pieces of the cancer. But they said that both the surgery and the medications may have profound effects."
Hope felt like crying, but the tears wouldn't come out. She didn't know whether to cry or to scream. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly, and it was just throwing her off balance. Hope moved passed her parents and took a seat at the breakfast nook as she tried to decipher what she wanted to do. It would seem so easy for her to let her parents decide, but she knew that she wouldn't be satisfied with that. She needed time to decide. For sure she knew that she didn't want anyone else planning her life out for her, or lack thereof. "I want to be the once to decide."
Leigh looked at her husband and silently argued with him. She gave up on arguing with the both of them. She just walked out of the kitchen and headed upstairs. Robert stood behind his daughter and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I love you sweetheart." He patted Hope's shoulder once more and walked out also.
Tears began to cloud Hope's vision as she sat at the breakfast nook in utter silence. She let a tear slowly inch it's way down her cheek. She slowly lifted her head up and looked out the window into the street. She saw her little next door neighbor Kara outside playing with her dog. The scene reminded her of her own childhood. Dreaming of a life so wondeful and fulfilled. Hope didn't know for sure if the experiment would help but she knew that that was a risk that she would have to take. She had a big decision to make, it meant life or death. But for some reason, either life or death didn't matter to her at that moment, what mattered to her the most was being happy.
Hope looked at her father in the living room slowly gathering his things for work. She couldn't help but smile when she thought of how much love him and her mother had always given her. That's what she needed the most from them as she tried to decided, their love.
"I love you too, daddy."
(Jive Records)
Justin and the rest of the guys had come into the studio early to go over vocal arrangements for their upcoming duet with Gloria Estefan. They had all been honored and ecstatic to be doing their first real big duet with such a prominent singer. Plus they were happy with the song that they were going to be singing.
The guys were still keeping their distance from Justin since his little attitude the day before. But today he seemed to be more friendly and happier. Justin himself felt bad about being so rude to the guys the other day and he knew that he needed to make amends with them.
Justin approached the four of them when he came into the studio and wasn't surprised when they were a little hesitant to talk to him. "Look guys, I'm sorry about the way I acted towards you the other day. You were right, I was really frustrated with Hope and not just her, but other things also. So do you forgive me?"
The four other guys didn't say anything at first, but their expressions relaxed and they all told him that they were never mad at him for it. JC spoke up and said, "Justin, don't worry. We know your having a lot of things going on right now, but you know that you can always come to us if you need help."
"Yah man, don't ever hesitate to come to any of us." Lance boasted.
Justin smiled and thanked them for being so understanding. He liked that they were all like brothers. One big happy family. Although disfunctional at times, they were there when they needed each other. That's what made them such a good group. They weren't slapped together and never friends to start with, they all fit together, like the pieces of a puzzle.
"So, are you and Hope okay now?" Joey asked.
Just as Joey finished asking, Chris had elbowed him. He had done so to stop Joey from bringing up the issue that was lingering in all of their minds.
Justin chuckled at Chris' action and replied, "yah, we're cool now."
A deafening silence settled over the five of them as they ran out of things to say. But they all knew that someone HAD to break the ice so JC did it. "Justin, what do you plan on doing when we get busy again with recording and promotions?"
Justin didn't really undertsnad what JC had meant by that question so JC decided to clarify for him, "how do you plan on handling your relationship with Hope when your too busy to even call your own mother?"
"Woah, woah, wait a minute...what relationship with Hope? Our relationship is strictly a 'friends only' type. Plus, why would I have to worry about being busy. It's not like I see her everyday anyway." Just said reassuring them, and himself.
"Oh really? So who are you trying to convince?" Chris slyly added.
"No one. I just...I was trying," Justin couldn't help but stutter, "you know what...never mind. I'm going to go make a phone call!" Justin stammered then stomped off frustrated.
Justin walked out into the hallway and took out his cell phone and called the person he knew he had some talking to do with.
Hope was still pondering over her two options. She knew that she couldn't take too long to decide, but it was such a huge decision that she knew she had to choose wisely and not turn back on that decision. She was about to fall asleep on her bed when the phone began to ring. At first she was just going to let her mom pick it up, but as the ringing persisted, it was apparent that her mom was not going to pick up the phone, so she got off her comfy bed and picked up the phone, "hello?".
"Good morning sunshine!" Justin greeted her.
Hearing Justin's voice just about did it for her. She thought that she would definitley breakdown, so calm her emotions, she began to sniffle. "Hey Justin," she said trying to act nonchalant.
Justin was able to easily pick up on Hope's sniffle's and it worried him, "Hope what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong, really, I'm fine."
"Cmon, that is a load of crap, what's the matter?"
Hope grew silent and she tried to decipher the consequences of her telling Justin or not. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, it was that she didn't want anyone important to her trying to influence her decision. She wanted to make the decision herself and only herself. So she decided that she wouldn't tell Justin about recent events until she had everything figured out. "I'm fine. I'm just in a little bit of pain."
Hearing Hope crying and say that she was in pain immediately got Justin concerned. "Pain? Do you want me to come over and bring you to the doctor?"
Hearing Justin get worried over her was comforting yet it made her feel guilty for lying to him. "I'm fine. Just a side effect of the chemo. Plus my mom is home with me so you don't have to worry."
"Who ever said I was worried?"
Hope couldn't help but giggle at his insecurity, "oh cmon Justin. This is me your talking to!"
"Okay so I'm worried, but is it a crime for me to care about you?" Justin said without thinking much.
Hope was taken aback at his statement. He said it honestly and obviously without much thought put into it. But she realized that she was probably just over reacting and expecting too much.
Justin knew he couldn't take back what he had just said so he decided to change the subject instead. He decided that it was time to tell Hope about his soon to be bust schedule. "Umm, well anyway, the reason I called you was to tell you that I really have enjoyed these past few outing with you, but I'm going to be getting really busy with recording and stuff, but I wanted to let you know that I won't forget to call you EVERYDAY." There is was said. All in one sentence.
Hope was trying to make sense of what Justin had just told her, even though she wasn't very focused. She let it all process in her mind before she replied, "oh."
Justin felt bad when she had barely said anything in reply. Situations like this would make him hate this part of his career. "Are you disappointed?"
"No not at all, I mean I know that it's all part of your career, and I repsect that." Hope replied more clearly than before.
"God, I hate that about you!" Justin whined.
At first she thought that she had said something terrible so she asked him to clarify his statement for her. Justin conitnued, "I hate how you are so god damn undestanding. You're truly amazing."
Hope couldn't help but let a smile form out of the corners of her mouth. She felt so special. "Well thanks, I think."
Justin smiled but was interrupted when he was about to answer her because Joey had been calling him back inside. "Hope? I'm sorry, can I talk to you later?"
"Yah sure!"
"Okay good, I'll call you later. Wait..." Justin said thinking back to the beginning of their conversation. "Are you sure your alright?"
Hope relaxed as she leaned back on her pillow and answered, "I'm fine. So stop worrying!"
The two of them said their good-byes and hung up. Hope lay back on her bed and began to think about how caring Justin had been towards her. But she still couldn't shake the fact that she hadn't told him of her dilemma. She really needed moral support and she knew that it was useless to get it from her parents since they both couldn't even agree with each other. She lay there in her bed and a sudden flashback made her realize the importance of her decision:
A gentle hand touched her fingertips as the two hands slowly and softly came together. Hope could feel a bright light shine on her as she slowly opened her eyes to see Justin's face looking down at her.
His ocean blue eyes looked on at her in concern which worried her. She tilted her head a little bit and noticed her parents looking down at her with tears in their eyes. Hope could feel tension and fright build up inside her as she gathered the strength to speak.
"What's wrong?" Hope asked fearful.
"It's alright Hope, don't worry. It will all be over soon." Her father said patting her shoulder.
"What? What will all be over soon? Mom? What's going on?" Hope asked panicing.
"It's alright sweetheart, just close your eyes and rest." Hope's mother said as she scooped her up into her arms and hugged her close to her as she wept freely.
Once Leigh pulled away from her daughter, Hope turned to see Justin sitting next to her and gently stroking her hand.
"Justin please tell me what's going on!" Hope asked as tears fell onto her cheeks.
When Justin didn't answer her, she began to look at her surroundings and try to make light of what was going on. She noticed IV's hooked up to her, oxygen pumps near her, and a heart monitor to her right. She became frantic as the beat on the monitor start to quicken and she could feel the world slowly fade. She turned to look at Justin and her parents once more and barely whispered, "I don't want to die, not now." The heart beat on the monitor flat-lined and everything Hope ever knew was gone...
[Chapter 11]
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