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PART 1
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"So we went to all this trouble to get into the bar and there's no big demon showdown. Just great...." Buffy, obviously not a happy camper, grabbed Doyle's beer and took a swig.

"Hey...give that back...." came the slightly slurred response.

"It seems our charming demon buddy here's smashed," Xander commented. He stopped, thought, and added, "Actually, he's got the right idea." Taking the beer from Buffy, he began to chug.

Willow feebly protested, "B-but, we're underage.....shouldn't we just go home?"

Spike stopped nursing his bottle of Jack Daniels and stared at her. He pressed the bottle to her mouth and said, "Drink up, Red."

The rest followed suit without any arguments.

The first act was Cordelia and Buffy stumbled on stage, barely able to hold their microphones. The music began, and the pair started to sing "(I've Had) the Time of My Life". They were more or less pretty good....and then Cordelia got the hiccups. "I've, hic, had the time of my life, hic.....never felt this, hic, way before. And I swear, hic hic hic, it's the truth. And I owe it all to you!"

They made it through the song and exited the stage, eliciting loud applause...and laughter.

Next up, Willow stood onstage as Oz tried to hand her the microphone. After a few unsuccessful jabs in the wrist, he finally succeeded and Willow began a fiery rendition of "Goldfinger". She knelt down on stage and belted the song to Oz, occasionally slurring up the words, and mostly offkey. As the song ended she dived offstage into Oz's arms. Luckily, he caught her, falling backwards as he did so. A muffled, "I don't feel so good..." came from the pile.

A very drunk Xander walked onto the stage, introducing his song with these words, "I don't know if anyone'll remember this s-s-song...it's really old....like nineteen-seventy-something..." He launched into Roxy Music's "Ladytron".

"You've got me girl on the run around run around
You've got me all around town
You've got me girl on the run around
And it´s getting me down, getting me down
Lady if you want to find a lover
Then you look no further
For I´m gonna be your only
Searching at the start of the season
And my only reason
Is that I´ll get to you
I´ll find some way of connection
Hiding my intention
Then I´ll move up close to you
I´ll use you and I´ll confuse you
And then I´ll lose you
But still you won´t suspect me"

He sang with a passion. He sang with flair. Xander LaVelle Harris sang like his life depended on it. And he sucked. He staggered off stage, leaving the way cleared for Oz.

A completely smashed Oz somehow made it onto stage. He looked at Willow, propped up in a chair and started to sing.

"And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...

Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was..."

Yes, Oz was singing the Talking Head's song, "Once in a Lifetime". The audience howled their approval as he gave it all he had. And after that, only the two vampires were left.

Angel came next, gripping the mike and beginning to sing, "Part of That World" from the film, The Little Mermaid.

"Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has everything

Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure, she's got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
I've got whosits and whatsits galore
You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see 'em dancin'
Walkin' around on those--
What do ya call them?
Oh, feet
Flipping your fins you don't get to far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'
Strollin' around on the--
What's that word again?
Street

Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free
Wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give
If I could live
Out of these waters
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm on the sand
Bet ya on land they understand
And they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women
Sick of swimmin'
Ready to stand
And ready to know what the people know
Ask my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it--
What's the word?
Burn

When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love
Love to explore that shore up above
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world"

Spike and Xander were in hysterics. "I....sh-should've known he'd be a brooding drunk...." Spike managed to get out.

The audience stared blankly.

After Angel left, Spike sauntered on stage. Snatching the mike, he said, "I hope you all enjoy this song I'm about to...perform," he drawled as the music began.

"I've been walking these streets so long
Singing the same old song
I know every crack, every crevice
Out here on Broadway
Hustle's the name of the game
White boys get washed down the drain
Like the snow and the rain

It took me years of comprimising
To get to my horizon
But I wanna be where the lights are shining on me
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in the star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers coming over the phone

Well I don't really mind the rain
A smile can hide all the pain
I've been walking these streets alone
Out here on Broadway
Had a dream of the things I'd do
With a subway ticket and a dollar tucked into my shoe

It took me years of compromising
For to get to my horizon
But I wanna be where the lights are shining on me
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in the star-spangled rodeo
Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers coming over the phone
Like a rhinestone cowboy

Offers coming over the phone"

The audience gaped. Spike had just sung, of all songs, "Rhinestone Cowboy". There was silence, and then a burst of applause. "Thank you thank you," he bowed and proceeded to pass out.

The remaining singers stumbled over to see who won. They found Doyle, bottle of Tequila in hand, unconcious at the table.

"Shit...." Oz muttered, "We did all that for nothing...."

The next morning, the Scoobies woke up in the library.

Looking around, Buffy said, "What the *hell* happened last night....and why does my head hurt?"