The Looong Weekend
By: Spider Striker (

Part 1:

"Attempt #3. I think I got it nailed. In my other attempts, I expected the product to come out completed in one phase. Now, I've divided it into two separate phases. The first phase is complete. All I have to do is give it a few drops of this liquid."

Spider Striker put down his portable recorder. He picked up a beaker and a test tube. He poured one drop of the liquid from the test tube into the pink powder in the beaker. The powder started to smoke. "Uh-oh," Spider Striker said as the beaker started to shake in his hand. "Striker sense..."

There was a huge explosion. When the smoke cleared, Spider Striker and the lab were covered with sticky pink goo. Spider Striker found his portable recorder and struggled to pull it off the lab table. When he finally got it loose he talked into it. "Attempt #3 almost successful. I just need to figure out how to make it less sticky and, well, less explosive. It's official. My life has become that of a cartoon." He looked around the lab. "I'm in biiiig trouble."

Blackbird ran into the lab. "I heard an ex.... Holy $h!t!" he said when he saw the mess. "What the Hell happened?"

"I was trying to make bubble gum," Spider Striker said pulling a piece of the goo from his head. "I got the popping part right."

"Can I ask why?" Blackbird asked still looking at the disaster.

"Bored. Rat Trap and Nightfox haven't reported any activity from the Preds other than them repairing their base."

"Yeah, but why don't you draw or write or...?"

"Alright! I haven't had a piece of gum in months. It's driving me nuts cause I'm kinda hooked on it. There. I said it."

Blackbird started laughing. He walked over to a door in the corner of the lab and got out what looked like two hi-tech versions of a broom. "I'll help clean this up before Rhinox sees it," he said handing one of the 'techno-brooms' to Spider Striker. "You take the ceiling."

Spider Striker jumped to the ceiling, stood on it, and started cleaning the goo up. "Thanks," he said. "And I never said thank for you listening to my nightmare or helping with my battle plan against Firehawk. Thanks."

"No problem. And I never said thanks for you saving my @$$ against Darkbird when you first showed up. He was the one that was winning. I had a nightmare kinda like that once. I hate those ones when you wake up, but you're not really awake. They suck."

20 minutes later the two finished cleaning up the last of the goo. "You don't happen to have the formula for that stuff written down do you?" Blackbird asked, grinning.

"Right here," Spider Striker answered, holding up a cyber pad. "Why?"

"Me and Rat Trap kinda have a bet and this will help me win."

"I guess I can give you a copy." Spider Striker printed a copy and handed it to Blackbird.

"Thanks." Blackbird's grin grew wider.

"Hey! Can I ask you something?"


"You and Darkbird look a lot alike and you really seem to hate each other, so I was wondering......"

"He's my clone."

Spider Striker didn't reply right away. He just stood there with a blank expression. Finally, he said "Normally I'd find it incredible to find out you can clone a robot, but I just got this desire to crawl into a hole and die."

"Weird. Well, thanks for the formula."


* * *

Spider Striker stared at the almost finished poem. I've been working on this thing pretty much since I got here, he thought. Why can't I finish it? He decided to get up and walk around the base. He walked in to the command room and saw Blackbird and Cheetor doing something at the main console.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Cheetor shouted pressing the same button furiously.

"No," Blackbird simply stated. He pressed a button once. There was a blood-curdling scream and followed by "Mecacon Wins!"

Cheetor objected. "My hands! You got all your fingers! That's it."

"Kid," Rat Trap said, looking up from his monitor duty, "If you're gonna' come up with an excuse for the fact you can't play worth slag, it's gotta at least make sense!"

"And you depended too much on the same move," said Spider Striker as he figured out what was going on. "Let me sh..."

Spider Striker was interrupted by an explosion from one of the quarters. Dinobot stormed from around the corner, muttering and growling. He was covered with a familiar pink goo. He looked around the command room and his optics rested on Spider Striker. "YOU!" he roared.

"Me?!" Spider Striker said in surprise. "Wha...ACK!" Dinobot grabbed Spider Striker by the neck and lifted him off the floor.

"I saw you working on this...this slime in the lab with Blackbird. You planted a bomb in my quarters." Dinobot tightened his grip.

Spider Striker tried to say something but couldn't. His face started to change color. He pointed to his face and Dinobot dropped him. Spider Striker landed hard. He pressed the button on his "belt" to move his faceplate and started gasping. "Robots...need...air?" he asked between breaths.

"In beast mode we do," Rat Trap said. "You're just one real weird case, kid."

"You have done nothing but humiliate me since you arrived freak!" Dinobot roared pulling off the goo. "Your so called gift, your..."

"Ah jeez. Lighten up!" Spider Striker said standing up. "The Christmas gift was intended to be a practice tool. The fact it's been flying around the base and frying you for the past month is a malfunction. And you missed a spot." Spider Striker pointed at Dinobot's chest plate. When Dinobot looked down where Spider Striker was pointing, Spider Striker brought his finger up suddenly and poked Dinobot's right optic. "Got ya!" Spider Striker said.

Dinobot grabbed the finger and squeezed hard. There was a crunching sound and Spider Striker yelped. "Training room," Dinobot said. "NOW!" He let go and stormed out.

Spider Striker glared at Blackbird, who gave an innocent smile. Spider Striker sighed and walked toward the armory. "You're not gonna actually fight him are ya, Spider Striker?" Cheetor asked.

"I guess so," Spider Striker answered. "Besides," he said smiling evilly, "If he thinks I'm out to humiliate him, I'll give him a reason." He turned back around and started walking again. "And I'll deal with you later," he yelled to Blackbird.

"This I gotta see," Rat Trap said leaving after Spider Striker. Blackbird and Cheetor followed.

* * *

Dinobot slashed his sword in the air, practicing different moves. Spider Striker arrived and Dinobot noticed he was unarmed. "Do you have a death wish?" Dinobot asked with some surprise.

"What?" Spider Striker asked. "Oh, you mean 'cause I don't have a weapon? I didn't like any of the ones in the armory, so I'll just beat you without one."

"We shall see," Dinobot said putting away his sword to make it a fair fight. He went into a battle stance. Spider Striker did the same. Dinobot charged and Spider Striker jumped over him. In mid-air, Spider Striker turned around and kicked Dinobot in the back. Dinobot recovered more quickly than Spider Striker expected and kicked him across the battle area.

Spider Striker stood up and shook his head. Dinobot ran at him. Spider Striker waited and when Dinobot got close enough, he punched Dinobot in the face with a follow up punch to the gut and a sweep underneath his legs. Dinobot landed on his back. Spider Striker stood over him and leaned in close. He pressed his finger against Dinobot's nose and said "Beep!"

Dinobot growled and grabbed Spider Striker by the neck. Spider Striker stomped on Dinobot's groin. Dinobot let go and screamed. Spider Striker jumped away calling " 'Here lizard, lizard, lizard!' " in a fake Spanish accent. Dinobot got up and started firing his eye beams at him. "'Uh-oh,' "Spider Striker said as he ducked and dodged. " 'I think I need a bigger box.' " He fired cyber webbing at Dinobot's face. The webbing stuck to Dinobot's optics, stopping the beams.

Dinobot burned through the webbing and looked around. "Where....?" he asked.

"Over here, Dino-butt!" Spider Striker called from behind. Dinobot spun around. He saw Spider Striker sitting on a wall. Spider Striker waved at him. Dinobot started to run over toward him, but fell flat on his face. His legs were tied together with a string of cyber webbing. Dinobot roared and tried to get up.

Spider Striker walked over to Dinobot, shaking his head. He grabbed Dinobot's arms and tied them behind his back with another string of cyber webbing. He then attached Dinobot to the ceiling with more cyber webbing and said to Dinobot "Don't worry. It'll disintegrate. Eventually. Oh, and don't say anything about this getting worse."

"I was defeated in under five cycles with everyone watching and put on display, " Dinobot muttered. "HOW THE SLAG COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE?!?!?" As if on cue, the target practice simulator flew into the training room. "Slag," Dinobot muttered.

* * *

"You've been studying the game for an mega cycle! You gonna play or what?"

Spider Striker looked up from the computer console. "Ready," he said with a grin.

"Finally!" Blackbird said sitting down. "Dibs on Mecacon. Who do you want?"

"Arachnid," Spider Striker stated simply.

"Arachnid? He's the weakest one in the history of VR games!"


"Whatever. Your funeral."

The game started up. Mecacon and Arachnid stood in opposite corners of the screen. There was a gong sound and Mecacon dove at Arachnid. Arachnid ducked and punched Mecacon in the chest. Mecacon kicked Arachnid in the head and stomped on him when he went down. Arachnid shot a power bolt and it hit Mecacon taking his health down to half. After that, Arachnid went into a spinning motion. The Arachnid/whirlwind ran into Mecacon and there was another blood curdling scream followed by "Arachnid Wins!"

"How.... wha.... fast.... Arachnid sucks....." Blackbird stuttered. "Rematch!"

A mega cycle later=>

"How the f^u#k did you beat me 20 times in a row?! With Arachnid?! With a different move every time?!" Blackbird demanded. "HOW!?"

"Second rule of fighting games: the worst character is most likely the best," Spider Striker answered. "It's just no one knows how to use him. Third rule: every time you think you know all the special moves, there's always ten more." He got up and headed for his quarters.

"Hey!" Blackbird yelled. "What's the first rule?"

"Study the game. DUH!"

* * *

Let's see...hiker, biker....but none of those fit, damnit!

Spider Striker sat in his usual tree, cyber pad in hand. Why can't I finish this poem? He thought. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Spider Striker lost track of his thoughts when bullets chopped through the leaves of the tree, just missing his head. " 'What on Ertha Kit!!' " he yelled out in surprise, almost falling out.

He looked behind him and saw Catsclaw smiling. Her pulse rifle was in her hand, smoking. "Thought you could lose me, didn't you?" she asked.

"What the Hell are you talking about?" Spider Striker asked. "I wasn't running from you. I just wanted some time to myself, outside, away from all the racket of the base. Why are you stalking me?"

"Did you and my sister interface?"

"Maybe if you told me what 'interface' means I can tell you."

"You really don't know?"

"That's right. Can you leave me alone now?"

Catsclaw jumped into the tree, grabbed Spider Striker by the neck, and jumped back out with him. She held him in the air and said "No. After you and her came out of that cave, you've been different. You're out of your quarters all the time, you talk to everyone. What did the two of you do?"

"WE TALKED! ALL WE DID WAS TALK!" shouted Spider Striker. His sixth sense was going wild.

"You're scared aren't you?"


"Good." Catsclaw dropped Spider Striker. "You do anything to my sister or I find out your lying, I'll hurt you. Beast mode." Catsclaw transformed and walked off.

"I'm starting to miss Justin," Spider Striker said to himself.

* * *

Optimus Primal finished the chapter he was reading in his cyber book. He got up and walked to a picture hanging on a wall in his quarters. He moved the picture to reveal a safe behind it. He typed in a code to the safe's control panel. The safe opened and Optimus looked inside. "That's just prime!" he said when he saw the safe was almost empty. "Someone's been stealing my energon cookies!"

Before Optimus had left on his mission as commander of the Axalon, he ordered some energon cookies from the best "baker" on Cybertron. When the crew and the Axalon crash landed on the planet, he put them in the safe and ate one about every month to make them last longer. But as of late, he noticed that there have been more missing than he's been eating. The fact there were only two left confirmed his suspicions.

"Computer," Optimus asked, "has anyone been in my quarters besides myself in the past 48 hours?"


Hmm. Whoever it is knows what they're doing. Well I'll just have to catch them with the hands in cookie jar. Literally. I had to pay good currency for those cookies.

He then closed the safe and walked out the door.

* * *

Spider Striker stalked toward his quarters muttering under his breathe. "mumble....Catsclaw......didn't touch sister......what's interface?!....grumble...Dinobot.. didn't plant bomb...wish I did....grumble...."

He was almost there when Blackbird jumped in front of him. "Let's get this clear," Blackbird said, "I don't like to lose. Especially at VR games. I'm going to get you back."

"So," Spider Striker said, "you're going to get revenge for my revenge?"

"Yeah. What ya gonna do about it?"

"But, then I'll get revenge for your revenge for your revenge for my revenge."

"Fine. Then I'll get revenge for your revenge for my revenge for your revenge for......ARG!!!! "

Blackbird turned around and stomped away cursing. " 'Wow! I broke his brain,' " Spider Striker said and continued on his away to his quarters. When he got there he went in and put the music disk into his computer. He selected "I'm Your Angel." He was about to play it when there was a knock on his door. "Who is it?" he asked.

"Catspaw. May I come in?"


Catspaw walked into Spider Striker's quarters. "I heard you had an encounter with my sister," she said with a smile.

"Yeah," Spider Striker replied. "She shot at me, almost choked me, and threatened to kill me if I touch you. I'm starting to think 'overprotective' is an understatement."

"Sorry. I'll talk to her about that. So, what were you doing?"

"You know that song you tricked me into singing?"


"Well, I was about to play the real thing. You want to hear it?"


Catspaw sat down on Spider Striker's recharge bed. Spider Striker sat down in his chair and clicked on the play button. The song filled the quarters. Spider Striker closed his optics and tilted his head back. Catspaw could tell he was mouthing the words underneath his mouth plate. Strange, she thought. One week ago, you could barley get him to use his vocal unit. Now, he's getting into arguments with Blackbird. Playing practical jokes on Dinobot. It's like a programming block was deleted.

The song ended and Spider Striker opened his optics and looked back at Catspaw. She smiled. "Beautiful," she said.

"I'm glad I didn't ruin it for you," Spider Striker said, taking out the disk and opening the unfinished poem. He sighed and typed in a line to see if it would work. It didn't. "Stupid poem!" he said slamming his fist on the table.

"What's wrong?" Catspaw asked.

"What? Oh, just a little writer's block. Do you know anything about poems?"

"Just that I like to read them. Robert Frost, Celeste Alex...."

Spider Striker's optics doubled in size. "D-did you say 'Celeste Alex?' " he asked.

"Yes," Catspaw replied. "She's a great poet. Why?"


"No. There was something in your optics. Did you know her?"

"Kinda." Spider Striker put in the information disk and was about to type something in the window, but stopped. "I can't do it," he whispered.

"Do what?" Catspaw asked. "Spider Striker, what's wrong?"

"Remember at Christmas I said I remembered everything?"


"Well, I don't know what happened to me. The human me. With the information my memories gave me I can find out, but...."

"I see. That can't be an easy thing to do."

"It ain't. Trust me."

Just then, Blackbird walked into the room. "I got it," he said. "You're gonna..." he trailed off when he saw the expression on Spider Striker's and Catspaw's faces. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Spider Striker is trying to find out what happened to him," Catspaw answered. "He just can't seem to muster up the courage to do it. How'd you do it, Blackbird?" she asked, hoping the answer would make Spider Striker feel better.

"I just assumed my old body blew up and it was my spark that was thrown threw the temporal rift, but that isn't helping is it?" Blackbird asked.

"Nope," Spider Striker answered. "Thanks guys, but I'll get the guts eventually. Just give me a year or two."

"No way, pal!" Blackbird said. "You're finding out and you're finding out now!"

"It's okay, Striker," Catspaw assured her friend. "You have friends here in the Axalon. Two of which are right here."

Spider Striker looked at his two friends. That's what Blackbird and Catspaw were. Even though Blackbird wanted his blood right now and Catspaw's sister was a serious risk to his health, they we're his friends. He just had trouble accepting that. But now he believed it. "Okay," he said finally.

He typed in his human name into the window: "Alex, Nathan," and clicked search. Catspaw took his hand and held it.

* * *

Optimus Primal looked over the traps he set up for his cookie thief. The computer was commanded to notify him the second someone other than himself entered his quarters, the picture had a micro-camera hidden on it, and the safe would send an energon surge through anyone who stuck their hand inside it. Now it was just a matter of time.

* * *

"Finally!" he exclaimed as his restraints melted. He looked around. The chamber was empty. The device that tortured him for the last hour had fled when he gained his freedom. He had to find the device before it gave away his release. Then, he would have revenge. Revenge on his captor. It will be quite sweet, he thought.

* * *

"Nathan Alex was a high school student on the verge of becoming a 'famous writer' according to friends and family. However, at the end of his sophomore year, tragedy stuck. While working on his web site dedicated to his favorite comic character, Nathan went into a coma. The causes of the coma are unknown. Doctors could find nothing was wrong with him. The Alex family couldn't afford to pay the expensive medical bills and there medical insurance didn't cover comas. After about two months, the hospital was forced to 'pull the plug.' Nathan Alex was declared clinically dead on June 12, 1999 at 4:55 PM."

Spider Striker finished reading the short paragraph and just stared at it. "I'm dead," he said in a barely audible voice. "I'm dead."

Catspaw squeezed his hand gently. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Huh? I'll-I'll be fine. I was just expecting a coma that I'd still be in. Just a little surprised."

"Whoa!" Blackbird said in surprise. "You're taking this rather well."

Spider Striker put his head against the back of his chair. "I've accepted my fate," he said. "And I knew that I wasn't going to like what I found out. It's okay for you to want revenge again."

"Good!" Blackbird yelled. "When I get done with you, you're going to be begging for mercy!" With that, he turned around and stormed out of the room.

"It's almost scary how fast he changes moods," Catspaw said. "You're sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine," Spider Striker said. "Thanks. I'm just going to turn in for the evening. See you tomorrow, Catspaw."

"Sleep well," Catspaw said as she left.

Spider Striker walked over to his recharge bed, laid down, and went to sleep.

* * *

Optimus Primal slept. As he slept, a dark figure walked through the door of his quarters. It walked up to the picture and shattered the micro-camera with its finger tip. It opened the safe and deactivated the energon device. It grabbed a cookie and was about to run out the door, but looked back in the safe. There's only one left! it thought. I guess I got greedy. Ah well. Not my problem. He'll never figure out it's me. It bolted out the door.

Click here for part 2 of Spider Striker's "The Looong Weekend".