Note: I don't hate Beast Machines yet I just wrote this. And I cannot make up stupid dialog for Skir so instead I just quoted him.

Rattrap Sues Hasbro
By: Washer

Part 1:

This is The Peoples court with Judge Milles Lane presiding:
Currant case: Rattrap verses Hasbro and Bob Skir

Lane: Will the defendants and plaintiff please stand forward, I would go through the usual swearing in but we all know Skir will lie anyway.

Skir: All will be.

Rattrap: Hey, Hey, Hey, you're responsible for this.

Lane: Silence, Mr. ere… Trap what happened that you are now suing Bob Skir?

Rattrap: This Skir fella just writes the scripts, Hasbro is to blame. They redesigned me to fit some NEW DEMOGRAPHIC, then they took my legs a replaced them with wheels

Lane: I see, what do you want?

Rattrap: All I want is worker compensation.

*Mysterious Hasbro Exec. In the corner is now snickering*

Author's note: For those who don't get it by now Rattrap is suing because his legs were replaced with wheels

Lane: Skir has Mr. Trap received any benefits so far?

Skir: Not so far...

Lane: What do you say about this wheels for legs concept? Is this consistent with the line of work Rattrap is in?

Skir: Designed to be self-contained... while being entirely respectful of EVERYTHING that has come before.

Lane: I saw a sock puppet show earlier today, I tell you it was pretty stupid, how "dumb" will Beast Machines be I comparison to this?

Skir: Marty and I promise to make the new series exactly as "dumb"

Rattrap: Wait one minute, what about me? When I said I liked wheels I wanted legs too.

Lane: Ok call your first witness then.

Skir: What are *those*?

Rattrap: I call Scott McNeil

*Mysterious Hasbro Exec. In the corner is now giggling*

*Scott McNeil walks up to the podium*

Lane: Do you swear…
30 seconds latter
Lane: What can you tell us Hasbro's new demographics take on Beast Machines?

McNeil: Hasbro is a fine company and the new demographics are…I...I can't… do…it… I have been paid off; I can't stand the weight of my conscience.

*Scott McNeil flees the room*

*Assistant to Mysterious Hasbro Exec. In the corner is now jumping out a window*

Rattrap: O Boy, this will go great on his resume.

Lane: Do you have.

Skir: Probably... but not as part of *this* series.

Lane: Mr. Skir, who do you think you are interrupting me in my courtroom?

Skir: The Force, God, the AllSpark

*Lane throws the book he is reading at Skir*

Lane: Call your next witness, anyone.

Rattrap: I call a Random Hasbro Character Designer (RHCD).

* RHCD stumbles to the podium*

*Mysterious Hasbro Exec. In the corner is now laughing hysterically*

Lane: State your name.


Lane: repeat after me; I swear to tell the truth the whole true and nothing but the truth.

Don: I swear to tell some truth a hole true and anything but the truth.

Lane: That isn't…I give up. Moving on, why was changing Rattrap's legs to wheels considered politically correct?

Don: Oooo your head is shiny.

Lane: How dare you, in my courtroom I have..

Skir: A reason, and it *will* be revealed... eventually.

Don: Yaa man

Lane: Are you intoxicated sir? Because I think you are?

Skir: Absolutely! Sort of...

Lane: I was speaking of Don, but that I will believe.

Don: Who is Don? I am Batman.

Lane: Sir what is your real name?

Don: I am Don, Don Juan Demarco

*Don passes out*

*Mysterious Hasbro Exec. In the corner is now falling backwards out of his chair*

Lane: Recess

Rattrap: Hey what about…

Skir: All will be revealed!

Click here for part 2 of Washer's "Rattrap Sues Hasbro".