* a u s t i n p o w e r s *

My own sequel to Austin Powers:The Spy who Shagged Me! GET ALL THIS @ http://mrshowbiz.go.com/features/austinpowers/austinpowers_sequelizer.html
Austin Powers: The Man With the Pink Knife

High above Earth aboard the H.M.S. Richard Nixon, superspy Austin Powers is engaging in a little zero-gravity Baseball when he receives some shocking news from Felicity Shagwell via the videophone. "I'm a man, baby!" he/she says. "My name's Ricky. I wanted to tell you before now, but I had to go feed my cat.." Stunned, Austin faints and falls on the ejection lever, blasting himself into outer space where he has a freak collision with a Volcano. When he comes to his senses, he's lying on top of Tower of London. "I feel like I just shagged a(n) Tiger," he mutters, before hurrying off to check in at the British Ministry of Intelligence. Austin walks into the office of a stunned Basil Exposition (Michael York). "Wow!" exclaims the ageless Exposition, who proceeds to tell Agent Powers that he has been missing and presumed dead for 30 years — in that time, Dr. Evil has purchased Go Network and used his domination of the Web to replace all real shagging with virtual shagging. Now, Evil is holding the world ransom from his Continent hideout, threatening to shut down all cybershagging unless he is paid $100,000,000,000. Austin's mission: find Evil's lair and shut down his mainframe, with help from his new partner, Banana Sugarbuns (Elizabeth Hurley). Austin and Banana begin their search near Tim*Buck*Tu, a region noted for its Continents. In the cybercasino at their hotel, the pair go online and engage in a tense game of Poker with a luscious beauty named June Hot (Tyra Banks), who keeps an unusual pet: a completely hairless, oddly feline Chihuahua named Mr. Jillian Edwardsworth. Later that night, Austin and Banana split up: she follows the depilated pooch toward a secluded cove, while Austin slips up to June's penthouse. There in front a computer sits a groovy! matron in a pink chenille robe and an elaborate headset. "Don't just stand there, love," she snaps, pointing to a hookup next to hers. "Get plugged in already." Austin dons his cybergear and is astonished to see that he is no longer standing next to the woman in pink but the beauteous June, clad in tight-fitting black Spandex. "This is no way to shag, baby," he says. "I can't even use me salt and pepper." With a sinister chuckle, June reveals that she is the mistress of Dr. Evil's cybershagging empire and that he has walked into a trap. Thinking fast, our hero uses his cybermojo to blow her mind — all that remains of Miss Hot is a charred pink bra. Austin pulls off his headset and heads for the door, only to meet Dr. Evil dragging Banana by the feet. "You got Miss Hot, Powers, but you'll never find my mainframe. It's buried so deep beneath the ocean nobody will ever find it! Mwah, ha, ha, ha." Shoving Banana towards Powers, Evil adds, "Take the girl, you can't shag her anyway!" As Dr. Evil begins a victory dance to the tune of "'Do the Hussle'," Austin slams June's headset onto Banana's head and exclaims, "Let's shag this mainframe rotten, baby!" (Cut to split-screen of Dr. Evil's Continent is blown to smithereens.) "We're cyberdelic, baby," says Austin, as he embraces Banana. Stunned out of his victory dance, Dr. Evil falls to his knees, whips out his cell phone, calls his online broker, and shouts, "Sell, sell, sell …" as the camera pulls away.
My own 2000 Eclipse Spy-Car is fully equipped with: Mojo Love Gas, a Go-Go Radar, and Love Beads! GET ALL THIS @ http://mrshowbiz.go.com/features/austinpowers/austinpowers_sequelizer.html |home|