September 20, 1999
Date: Mon, Sep 20th 1999 15:49:24
From: sara@drDrew.com
To: mailinglist@drDrew.com
Subject: drDrew.com Newsletter -- September 20, 1999
THE OFFICIAL DRDREW.COM NEWSLETTER
September 20, 1999
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In this issue:
* Win a Trip to Hollywood to Meet Dr. Drew!
* A personal note from Dr. Drew on your letters and college life
* Dr. Drew answers questions on setting sexual boundaries, cramps,
orgasms and "dumping"
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WIN A TRIP TO HOLLYWOOD TO MEET DR. DREW!
Now that you registered at drDrew.com, you are eligible to win a trip for
you and a friend to visit Hollywood and meet Dr. Drew. Also, every day, one
of our members will win an autographed copy of the "Dr. Drew and Adam
Book." See site (www.drDrew.com) for details. You have a chance to
win--make sure your friends do too!
Congratulations to drDrew.com daily book winners from last week: Brodie,
Venus2_28, GrLxStAr, Chris_B, Surfbum, Markm30, Paralgl2b! See the
newsletter next week for this week's winners.
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Dear Member,
The newsletter on relationships from last week has generated a lot of great
responses from all of you. Thanks for your uplifting stories of love and
friendship. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to have people
around you who love and support you. They can help you get through the
toughest of times. One letter we received echoed my point about opposites
sometimes attracting:
"My husband and I have been married for five years. We were told repeatedly
by friends and family that our relationship was doomed because we were so
different...In the beginning we did struggle. We struggled with
communication, sexual compatibility, religious and lifestyle
differences...whether from sheer determination, stubbornness or true love,
we have persevered and managed to use our differences not to clash, but to
contrast...Our secret? Well, my grandmother advised us on our wedding day
that we should tend to our marriage as diligently and as daily as we would
our garden, (and) we would never go astray. Her advice on our differences?
'Don't destroy the flowers that don't seem to match. Simply plan your
garden accordingly, and you'll see how the differences can highlight the
overall landscape.' "
Thanks for all your responses.
* * * * * * * * * *
With September in full swing, colleges around the country are teeming with
fresh new students. That first day of college is usually the biggest
shocker: it's when many people realize their friends and loved ones are a
bit further away than they realized. This can be exciting, scary or both,
depending on where you're coming from.
Although I learned a ton about myself and about life when I went away to
school, the road wasn't always easy. After spending my whole life as a
Southern California boy, my move East for school was a shocker. I worked
very hard in high school, and always had academia on my mind before
anything else. When the headmaster of my high school said Amherst College
was the best school in the country, I said, "Okay, that's where I'm going
to college." Case closed. I never thought for a second what life on the
East Coast would be like, or how much of an adjustment it would be to live
away from home.
I'll never forget the stormy night I left for Amherst. I said goodbye to my
friends and family and took off for Boston on a redeye flight. During a
layover in the Dallas airport, I was staring up at mobiles hanging from the
ceiling and the reality of my situation hit me too clearly. I had left my
parents, my sister, and my girlfriend of two years--for a place I really
knew nothing about.
Taking the bus from the Boston airport to Amherst was even more of a shock.
Although Boston is one of my favorite cities now, in the '70s, it was a
dirty city. The air had a sticky quality to it that I was not used to. The
bus took me right to my dorm--a huge old building housing 400 or so
students. Luckily, as I was walking up to the gate, who should walk out the
door but a good friend of mine from Pasadena. Throughout the year, I went
to this friend for connection and support. Because I was such a rigid
person, it took me longer to adjust to college life.
Looking back, I can see that my college experience wasn't necessarily
comfortable or fun, but it was the beginning of an important experience of
life. It taught me that life can suck sometimes. But it also changed my way
of thinking and helped me immensely in my professional life.
For those of you who are in college now, or who attended college at some
point in your life, we are interested in your experience. What was your
first day of school like? What are some other college memories that stand
out in your mind? What are some life lessons you feel college is teaching
you/has taught you? Email us at sarab@drdrew.com.
Stay well,
Dr. Drew
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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
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QUESTION 1: I met this guy about two weeks ago, but he is going to be
moving away to college in about a month. We decided that we would fool
around, but we are not going to have intercourse. I have never been in a
sexual relationship like this before. Is it normal teenage behavior to seek
a relationship like this, being that I am only 17?
DR. DREW: This is absolutely routine, normal behavior for someone your age.
I would also say that not only is this normal, but that you are approaching
the situation in a very healthy manner. You are making clear decisions
about what is and what is not acceptable behavior for you. It also appears
that you have acknowledged the higher degree of emotional connection
associated with intercourse, as well as the many other responsibilities
that come with that act. One last thing: I should alert you to the very
intense emotional feelings you will feel as you begin to develop physical
intimacy with your male friend. The fact that he will be moving away soon
could present quite a painful situation for you.
QUESTION 2: I am a 20-year-old female and have been experiencing extreme
cramps that last hours every month. During this time, I have to take up to
seven over-the-counter non-steroidal anti-inflammatory (NSAID) medicine in
order to deal with the pain. I have had a regular 26-day cycle since the
age of 14 so I don't know what could be causing this. Is this something I
should worry about?
DR. DREW: I need to start by telling you how terribly concerned I am about
you taking 1400 mg of an NSAID in a single dose. These can cause ulcers,
bleeding from the stomach, and kidney failure. This is nothing to fool
around with. Furthermore, you are self-treating a problem that has no
diagnosis at this point in time. It may merely be an episode of
"dysmenorrhea," the usual inflammation and discomfort that goes along
with
menstrual periods. However, I certainly cannot say that that's all that is
going on. Multiple other possibilities exist, including endometriosis,
ovarian cysts or tumors, and infections of the uterus and/or Fallopian
tubes. It is absolutely essential that you see a doctor and receive a
diagnosis so you can have an appropriate treatment plan.
QUESTION 3: What exactly is an orgasm?
DR. DREW: An orgasm is the climax of sexual excitement. More specifically,
it is a rhythmic discharge under control of the autonomic nervous system
that occurs after a period of arousal. There is a some discharge in both
men and women followed by a period of release and refractoriness (time
before another can occur).
QUESTION 4: Within 5-10 minutes of eating a meal, I frequently have to go
to the bathroom. At first, I thought it was nothing, but it's getting more
frequent now. Could it be serious? I also have heartburn all the
time. I'm not overweight and my blood pressure is normal. I have a
doctor's appointment coming up but wanted to know what you thought.
DR. DREW: The common name for having to defecate immediately after eating
is called "dumping." It is most commonly associated with previous
surgery. If your urge is in fact due to previous surgery, it can merely be
a consequence of having had your bowel operated upon. Less occasionally,
it can be a result of bacterial overgrowth in parts of the bowel. There is
also something called "gastrocolic reflex" which causes the urge to
move
one's bowels within a few minutes of eating--particularly after eating hot
substances. Although heartburn is typically not associated with dumping, I
have occasionally seen people with gastritis (inflammation of the stomach)
who have irritability throughout their entire gastrointestinal tract. It
is a good thing that you plan to see a doctor. Be sure that you receive a
complete check-up as well as a diagnosis that explains all your symptoms.
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IMPORTANT NOTE: The content presented in this newsletter is not intended to
take the place of professional medical treatment. For specific medical
concerns, you should seek the advice of a qualified health provider.
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