11:58am: Make sure my hair line didn't recede overnight
12:06pm: Go to McDonald's
12:11pm: Order a #4
12:42pm: Find my crack dealer
12:43pm: Buy crack
12:48pm: Go home to smoke my crack
1:19pm: Pass out 
3:05pm: Wake up
3:09pm: Go to the mall
3:15pm: Buy hat, sunglasses and pirate earrings
3:28pm: Dye hair
4:07pm: Go to press conference
4:10pm: Deny being a crackhead
4:22pm: Go into janitor's closet to smoke crack
4:47pm: Go to McDonald's, buy a #4
5:04pm: Buy more crack
5:15pm: A cop stops me
5:20pm: They take me to the police station and confiscate my crack 
5:40pm: Get beaten up a fat biker guy in my cell
6:00pm: Call Brian to pay bail and promise not to scream in concert for a month
6:21pm: Call agent to make up a story to cover up arrest
6:53pm: Go to McDonald's and buy a #4
7:05pm: Find hidden crack stash at home 
7:08pm: Smoke it
7:34pm: Watch TV
8:46pm: Fall asleep watching TV