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Ghetto Shakespeare:
The Adventures of Money G


Episode 2:
The Crossing


    Deep in the bowels of South Central Verona, Money G is escorting a carriage full of hoes. En route to his destination, he must cross a long, narrow bridge. He is nary past midway across when a rival carriage, headed in the opposite direction, draws near. The two carriages stop before colliding, and their respective drivers (one of whom be Money G) meet in the middle.



Driver: Word.

Money G: Word, unto thee

Driver: Word unto thee, oh boy of home.

Money G: Where be’est thou's destination with thine dope ride full of hoes, dog?

Driver: My most tempting honeys requireth passage through here to a posse which doth lie in the bay.

Money G: Mine own fly ladies must pass over this bridge, to the East side, by the Ridge.

Driver: Hast thou the time to kindly back thine carriage up and allot me to pass forth first?

Money G: Nay, you shan’t cross before mine posse of hoes. My ride be closer to the end of the bridge than thee, so I shalt cross first. Canst thou dig that?

Driver: Aye, Money, I canst dig that, for thou art the bomb, but mine carriage hast journeyed farther from our 'hood, and we are weary.

Money G: I care not of your weariness in the sun's bright sheen, for across the bridge, I must make my green.

Driver: Pray thee, good Money, thou art known as the shit, and mine carriage of hoes must reacheth the bay before the sun hath set, or mine clients will not be doing the nasty upon this night.

Money G: Thy ghetto trash booty do not concerneth me.

Driver: Ghetto my ass, motherfucker! Thine hoes art phat and fly indeed, Money, but feasteth your eyes upon these visions of phatness!

[Hoes step out of the Driver’s carriage, Money G examines them]

Money G: Thy clap-ridden hoes may be fine, but they be not as endowed as mine!

Driver: Then I pray thee, Money, showeth me thine hoes.

[Hoes step out of Money G’s carriage, with bigger tits and better figures than Drivers’ hoes]

Money G: Dost thou diss me now, good sir?

Driver: Nay, Money, I shalt diss me no more.

Money G: Dost thou imply a dissing of me before?

Driver: Nay, I pray thee not think I hath dissed the past, present, or heretofor!

Money: ‘Tis in thy best interest to not diss me, sire! I shalt kill thy wack bitch-ass with mine gun fire! I shalt smoke thee well, and see you in Hell!

[Money G pulls out a handgun and fires 3 shots into the Driver, killing him. Money G walks over to the Driver. Throws the Driver’s body off the bridge, pushes Driver’s carriage off as well. Hoes get into Money G’s carriage, carriage continues over bridge]

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Written by Chancellor Tiberius | Concept by Blake Wood