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Drunken AOL Transcript


The following is an actual AOL conversation I had with a totally plastered High school freshman from 1 am to 2 am on January 1, 2000. She had consumed 6 glasses of champagne before signing on.

Me: howdy, drunken buddy

Leesa: hi

Me: how's it going?

Leesa: fine

Leesa: and yuo

Leesa: you*

Me: okay, except I'm sober

Leesa: why did you fdo to bed

Leesa: i put on fireworks todat

Leesa: weuith my friend li

Leesa: LIZA

Me: lol

Leesa: shes spening thre nite here

Me: you are fucked up

Me: lol

Leesa: no

Leesa: im not

Leesa: im fine

Me: I know

Leesa: seE

Leesa: yjid isd me

Me: you're terrible

Leesa: im dine

Me: I'm bored

Leesa: im me

Me: I am iming you

Leesa: leesa

Leesa: that goes to pacifica

Leesa: i prolly see you around

Leesa: but juss didn know t was u

Me: right

Leesa: up

Leesa: thate me

Leesa: i wish i wern to a a[r today

Leesa: isd actually lisa

Me: oh

Leesa: but i like iy leesa

Leesa: yup

Me: leesa it is then, if you like it that way

Leesa: i tihnk i haftaw pee

Leesa: yes

Me: okay

Leesa: than k you

Leesa: but lisA IN THE BATTHOM

Me: you type like shit

Leesa: i didn tfo to apary

Me: oh

Leesa: what did that serial killer lok lie?

Leesa: was she cyute?

Leesa: cute

Me: yeah

Leesa: k

Leesa: how ol is she?

Leesa: old*

Me: she's 17 this month

Me: a junior

Leesa: oh my5 birthday us tomorrowq

Leesa: the 2 nd of januyary

Me: I know

Leesa: ya for ue

Leesa: me*

Leesa: iolkl be rite bacl

Leesa: ill*

Me: okay

Leesa: shes going to tha b-room<~~liza

Leesa: shes soo outta it

Me: okay

Leesa: she cant even type

Me: righto

Leesa: ill talk to u while shes in tha bathroon

Leesa: room*

Me: okay

Leesa: ive had more drinks then she has

Leesa: and shes like, looseing it

Leesa: er sumtin

Leesa: shes like slurring her werds

Leesa: and movin slowly

Leesa: its soo funnay

Me: oh

Leesa: aight, shes here now

Leesa: here she is

Leesa: hi dylan

Me: hold on a sec, loading something

Leesa: ok

Me: okay, back

Leesa: whats her name?

Me: erin... why?

Leesa: thatwe what i rho

Me: what?

Me: what made no sense

Me: that made no sense

Leesa: thate wha ti thor

Me: okay

Leesa: dytaln

Me: what?

Leesa: eacatlyu

Leesa: u need to get omore

Leesa: she is soooo meen

Me: I'm not the one interested in her!

Leesa: weLL yout grirnd id

Leesa: *freidn is

Me: only because she didn't like me

Leesa: and is your friend dirnl

Me: dirnl?

Leesa: dirnk

Me: dimk?

Leesa: drunk

Me: no, but you are

Leesa: ono im nto

Leesa: where us your friend?

Me: he's not on-line

Leesa: oh WHERE WE IS?

Leesa: is he*

Me: I don't know

Leesa: weLL tehn hhpw do u know hes durn./,

Leesa: duh

Me: uh...

Me: can you please type normally, you make no sense

Leesa: damit!~

Leesa: wat sence?

Leesa: i am makin e since

Me: I'm laughing my ass off

Leesa: weLL this it not sippose to be guinny

Leesa: !@@@@@@

Leesa: a m

Me: this whole time you sound totally fucked up

Leesa: weL i bnit

Me: you bnit?

Leesa: not

Leesa: damm

Leesa: wat the he'LLl is weron with errthging?

Leesa: shieeeeet

Me: lol

Leesa: wat?

Leesa: ios ooooooo damm finny1

Me: nothing

Leesa: vekaws this..is nyo gunny

Me: I love this shit

Leesa: uhh

Leesa: this is ;eesa

Leesa: its nto funny

Me: okay

Me: hey... I'll call the serial killer!

Leesa: no

Me: lol

Me: she's cool

Leesa: weLL

Leesa: sehs is mean

Me: okay

Leesa: u talk to her

Leesa: wat si soo damm funt`

Leesa: dylan..

Me: what?

Leesa: wveruthing i said was sencw

Leesa: u are nmto sence

Me: leesa, if i could see you now

Leesa: IM NORMA OK?

Me: fine, be anybody you want to be, norma

Leesa: i gess your not teh normal opne

Leesa: talk t me

Leesa: damm

Me: about what?

Leesa: about anything

Me: okay

Leesa: but now liza's int he batttom

Me: okay

Me: whats wrong with her?

Leesa: shes i dunn

Leesa: dya;n//

Leesa: os amyupme ca;;omg ui?

Me: wat?

Leesa: is anone caLLin u

Me: no, why?

Leesa: bekas aLL thiese peple af::onm ui

Leesa: dylan

Me: hey

Leesa: l mthe to ge guot

Me: what?

Leesa: tell the to get ou

Me: tell who to get out?

Leesa: the peipkle

Leesa: in thoem

Leesa: syhg

Me: oh

Me: okay, I did

Leesa: thanx

Leesa: hi dylan

Me: hi

Leesa: watyp

Me: is this the sober one?

Leesa: uhhhh

Leesa: im siobrtq

Me: okay

Me: whatcha doing, leesa?

Leesa: im talkin toyu

Leesa: weLL im gonna gon to ne thebed

Me: okay

Leesa: i tihn kim honas go onow

Me: okay

Leesa: bye matt

Me: I'm not Matt

Leesa: yes you are

Me: your fuckin’ drunk

Leesa: mat!

Leesa: stoo it!

Me: okay

Leesa: im goago

Me: alright

Me: bye leesa

Leesa: bye mat


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