1. Before you start, measure out the necessary rum and sample for quality. Good, isn't it?
2. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, spatula and all that stuff. Check the rum again.
3. Gather the necessary ingredients and sample the rum one more time.
4. Now with an electric beater, beat one cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
5. Add 1 teashpoon shugar and beat again.
6. Add 2 large eggsh and 2 cups of dried fruit.
7. Beat until very high. Shample the rum again.
8. Now shift in 3 cups of paking powder, a punch of rum, 1 tsp of soda, 1 cup of pepper (but be sure to shample the rum again at this point.)
9. Check the rum while you deshide what to do nhext, shift in half-pint of lemon juice and fold in the chopped butter milk.
10. Shtrain the nuts and add. Make sure they're right shide up. Sahmple the rum.
11. Now add 1 babbleshpoon sbrown buggar and mish well.
12. Greash and set cake pan at 350 degreesh.
13. On thecond thought, forget the whole damn thing, shample the rest of the rum, and go to bed!

(Cotton)