1/11/99
Chaos
I thought it might be interesting to start off here. Forgive me if I digress excessively (consider the subject). Life is based off of chaos. Free will is an extension of all that is disorderly. We as humans, a race that aspires towards order and evolution often forget the fact that part of what sustains life is the very thing which we detest. As a civillized people (or at least a people with gregarious tendencies) we create religion to explain inequities, we strive to improve to avoid pain. In essence we have followed a series of parallel roads which superficially appear to be vastly different but invariably lead to the same, or very similar destinations.
1999 We fear the future, or more precisely the notion that there will not be one. It is emptyness (our eradication) we fear, yet it is emptyness we lead ourselves toward. Consider for a moment the innate desire to avoid negative consequence. Troubled children often mature into parents who protect their children from the disasters they've encountered. These children proceed through life unaware of the potential harm which their parents have protected them from. Consequently they cannot protect their own children from the potential danger they were spared from. Think also of one's aversion to physical pain. Sometimes we all wish that we could not feel the pain. There are some who would contest such notions. Victims of leprosy are afflicted with a disease which destroys the nerves, freeing the victim from any sensations of pain. Often what develops is a mental state in which the aforementioned subject questions his/her existence. They are prone towards purposely damaging their bodies just for the sensation of pain to confirm their existence. It is with these example that we can see the error in optimizing the human experience, the narrowing down of choices, options, freewill. The future is not a frightening unknown, but rather a horrific reality which we all can plainly see.
